It's your fault. All of this is your fault.
Mirabel almost dying. Camilo almost losing everything. All the pain Camilo went through was because of you. It's your fault.
My fault.
Those words ring throughout your head like fire alarms.
You close your door and crumple to the ground. Tears stream out of your eyes. You hear a light knock on your door. You don't answer it.
Nothing matters anymore.
You shouldn't be alive.
You should have died.
You pull your consciousness back, hiding it in a safe corner of your mind. Mentally praying it stays like that, you allow the black to sweep you away to a safe spot. Rainbow colours cover your mind. They mix together and create relaxing patterns. You wish you could stay forever. But you can't.
Voices interrupt your rainbow dreams. You attempt to block them out, to let the rainbows calm your mind, but to no avail. The voices chill you.
Your father saying none of this was your fault.
Camilo yelling at your father for the way he said things.
Your mother telling you that everyone needs you.
Camilo begging for you to come back.
None of it comforts you. But the rainbow world loses its calm. You force your eyes to open. You are lying on your bed. You spot your father leaning in the doorway, his arm around your mother. Sitting beside you is Camilo. "Y/n!" he exclaims. His face grows solemn. "I thought I lost you - again."
"That's three times now," you whisper. Camilo half-smiles.
"I want you to know that none of this was your fault, y/n," your father says from the doorway. "It would have happened anyway, being as they are Madrigals."
You know the words aren't true. But, the way Camilo is looking at you, you want to believe them. Your mother pulls your father out of the room, closing the door behind her. You look at Camilo, feeling like a lost puppy. "It is my fault, Camilo. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I did this to you."
Camilo looks at you sadly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "No. Don't say that. It's not your fault. In fact, it's the seekers fault. This makes me want to stop him even more."
"Camilo," you say, "I think I know what he is looking for. And how to stop him."