AN: Thanks to simpforlupin on Wattpad for the new cover design!
Despite the fact that I woke early in the morning, I was reluctant to leave our bed. Will was still snoring softly, his arm thrown around my waist and he would tug me back to him if I moved too far. The only things I had managed to do was to turn on a lamp and grab my book. I shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position. Nemo had just taken the visitors out to hunt sharks underwater, it was one of my favorite scenes, but Will was pulling me closer and closer to him.
"Ana," He mumbled, his head moving on the pillow. I sighed, reaching down to give his hand a squeeze. He spoke sometimes in his sleep, usually calling for me or Ada. It was usually nothing, some dream that he was caught up in. His fingers twitched on my waist, digging into my hip. I turned, looking at him. His mouth was strained, his breath gasping, and he cried out. "Into the boat! Get into the boat goddamnit!" I went stiff as a board, and he suddenly pulled me to him. I gasped as he threw himself on me, "The boat, get to the boat." His voice was soft now, his arms twitching where they caged me. I could see his fingers curling in the sheets, his legs tense underneath them.
I reached up, touching his cheek. "Will, it's only a dream." He shuddered, his eyes flicking beneath their lids. He was still there, back on Titanic, back in the water. I reached up again, "We're safe, we're warm. Everything is alright." I kept repeating it over and over, a promise to him and a hope for me. It was minutes before the tension seemed to drain from him, his arms collapsing and his face hitting the pillow beside me. His breathing was slowing, his body relaxing onto mine. There was no desire or thrill from it at the moment, simply relief that he was out of the nightmare.
Although he was rather heavy, and my book was digging into my side.
It took some creative movement, and a good deal of wiggling, but eventually I was able to pull out the book and shift myself underneath Will to where I could read. He settled further onto me, his arms now curling and holding me instead of caging me against him. I started whispering the book to him, telling him about the Nautilus and how Pierre was facing down the devilfish. I missed his commentary, his snide remarks about how Verne got things wrong, or how it was ridiculous to willingly travel with a pirate. I pressed my lips to his cheek, "Nothing from you, love?"
He pressed himself further into the pillow. "It's all utter nonsense. Like I've said."
"Will," I started, trying to rise but feeling him push me back to the mattress. "How long have you been awake?"
"Since you started reading." He mumbled, turning to lay his face on my hair. "I didn't want to leave."
More than likely he didn't want to get off of me, considering neither of us had bothered with our night clothes last night. He was a least holding himself slightly off of me though, bracing his arms against the bed. I ruffled his hair, enjoying the softness of it. "You know, if you don't get off of me we'll miss breakfast."
"I'd rather stay here, in fact I'd rather avoid leaving this bed all together."
"I highly doubt the stewards would appreciate that."
"We can make the bed."
"Maybe I would like some breakfast."
"I can arrange for them to bring something. What would you like?"
"Griddlecakes if they have them, with syrup." I sighed as Will rolled off the bed, grabbing his discarded trousers and shirt from last night. It was a delight to watch him dress, pulling the dangling suspenders up and over his shoulders. He head reached for his waistcoat when I spoke up, "No, just like that if fine."
He turned, his eyebrows raised. "I'm only half dressed without it."
"I know." I smiled, "But you're only going out for a moment. Why bother?"
"Because," He said, leaning over the bed and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "I don't fancy getting syrup on my shirt, and you might want to slip something on as well. Unless you plan on licking yourself clean."
"You could always do that." I practically giggled watching him flush and his eyes darken. I gave him a gentle shove. "Go on, I'll be dressed by the time you get back." I waited for the door to shut until I grabbed a nightgown and slipped it over my head. I quickly belted a dressing gown over it, pulling the small table and chairs away from where they had been shoved in a corner. Will looked rather disappointed to see me clothed when he returned, but it proved to be a blessing when a steward knocked on our door shortly after. The steward at least kept his mouth shut when he placed the tray on the table, a plate of griddlecakes swimming in butter and syrup for me, and a bowl of oatmeal with sugar for Will. I smiled at that, "It appears we both have a sweet tooth this morning."
He had already mixed the sugar in and taken a spoonful, "It is a late breakfast, hopefully we can avoid anyone until dinner."
"You know," I said, smearing butter across a slice, "You didn't seem that intimidated last night."
"I was furious last night," His brow furrowed, "Today I'd rather just not deal with them, I don't want them to start talking about you again."
"They were talking about you too."
"Ana, two countries have been talking about me nonstop for months. I don't pay attention to it, but I can't stand them saying things like they do about you. You're so much better than what they call you."
The syrup and sugar were not the only sweet things at the table, and I reached for his hand. "Just try to ignore it Will, it's just pointless gossip. They're only doing it because they have nothing else to do onboard."
"Neither do I, but you don't see me sinking to their level."
"That's not true, we've done more onboard than they have. They probably haven't visited the library," I felt a smile break out, "And I doubt they've played shuffleboard. That's what we can do today, play shuffleboard up on the Boat Deck." With a plan set, the morning seemed to fly by. Will helped me dress in a new shirtwaist and skirt, although I did have to hector him into tying my corset tighter. "I'm going to wear the blue dress for dinner with Charles, Will. It has to be tighter."
"I don't like you wearing it so tight." He grumbled, "Like I said before, it's not healthy."
"I've been wearing them since I was a girl," I stepped away after he tied it, still not completely satisfied. "They make the dress hang right. Would you like me to start wearing trousers?" I was buttoning my shirtwaist when I realized Will hadn't responded. I turned, finding him staring off into the distance, his fingers twitching slightly. "Will?" He cut his eyes over, the blue in them dark. "Is something wrong?"
"No, Ana." He shook his head, looking away but I knew what the flush on his cheeks meant.
"What is it then?" I stepped to him, handing him his waistcoat and watching him pull it on. I set myself to buttoning it up, "Do you want to see me in trousers?" This close I could hear his breath catch, "With a high collar and a waistcoat? Maybe one of your uniforms? I might be able to do something with the hat."
"As delightful as that image is," Will stepped back, sighing. "Not even you can save that hat." Arm in arm we made our way up to the Boat Deck, finding a steward on deck to fetch us the shuffleboard disks and cues. I set myself up at one end of the painted court, letting Will have the first shot. The wooden disks clacked against each other as we sent them back and forth, not playing to win but merely to play. I watched Will's hands swipe the cue as he gathered the disks back up, before launching another one to start another game. "A ten, you're in trouble this round."
I launched my own disk, "A seven, damn."
"Ana." He almost glared, "Your language is rather unbecoming."
"Then let me win." I groaned, watching him land a eight. "You don't seem to have any problems with cursing."
"As a man, a curse is allowed in certain situations." Will looked disdainfully at my disk stopping on the off space. "Ladies should keep their mouths clean."
Part of me wanted to ask him if he had a way in mind for me to clean my mouth out, but I caught my tongue. Dirty mouths were apparently only for the bedroom, considering he'd never lectured me for my language when he had his hands on me. "I can try and work on my language, if you let me win."
"I am not rolling over." Will snorted, landing another ten. "But I am asking this of you Ana, please?"
I blushed, "Alright Will. Alright. No more cursing, at least in public." I sent another disk hurtling across, completely missing the board. I clenched my fists, trying to rein myself in from letting out a blue streak. "That is a shame."
"Indeed, and look, another ten for me."
"Congratulations, can we stop now?"
"No, I think we'll play the best out of seven." Will had a triumphant look in his eye as he collected the disks again. Oh, I would get him back later. I didn't know how at the moment, but Will was going to be begging for me to grant him some kind of mercy. All throughout the next game I thought of how I could go about it. Perhaps I would refuse to share the bed and make him sleep in the chair. Or maybe I wouldn't touch him until we reached New York. Perhaps I could enlist Charles into some scheme, he seemed to be the type to want to join in giving Will some kind of grief.
In the end we only had to play four games, I was abysmal at shuffleboard and swore to never play it again. It was at least late in the afternoon by the time we were finished, and back in the cabin I pulled out the blue dress. It at least hadn't wrinkled much, little enough that it would straighten out just by hanging it. Will actually went about changing his collar to a fresh one for the night, fumbling with the stud on the back. "Damn thing."
"Oh, cursing is allowed now?" I stepped over, taking it from his hand and working the stud through the shirt. "Or do I need to clean your mouth out?"
"Ana, not now." He pulled the collar to the front, working the studs through it before he pulled a tie through and knotted it. I shook my head, pulling my dress on over my head and turning to allow him to button it up. His fingers were more nimble with my buttons, and he quickly had it finished. He even helped pin my hair in place, although I did have to pull several of them and do them myself. "I'm sorry, I'm not much good at that."
I shrugged, "It's alright, neither am I."
"You still look lovely."
"Am I a damn vision?" I chuckled, taking his arm and ignoring the way he snorted and shook his head. What I couldn't ignore though was his hand reaching down to smack across my backside. I almost jumped, "Will!" It hadn't been hard, but it was a shock. "Spanking?"
"If you act like a child, you should be punished like one." He had a glint to his eye though, and withdrew his hand. "Now, perhaps we should compose ourselves before we go to dinner?"
"I am perfectly composed, see to yourself before you look to me." I shook my head, letting him lead me along into the passageways. Other passengers were making their way to the lounge for dinner, and we quietly joined them. A few looked our way, but Will seemed to send them on their way with a single look. I rather enjoyed that, to have him so dedicated to protecting my reputation, although to be honest I could have cared less. What happened on this ship would not spread far, and would be immediately dominated by the news of our engagement. I felt Will's arm shift as we entered the lounge, and I saw his brow furrow. "Charles, I didn't realize you'd bring guests."
There were indeed two others at the table Charles had claimed, I recognized Captain Cameron but there was a stolid looking vicar sitting across from him, his ecclesiastical collar freshly bleached and starched. Charles stood, "Will, you'll have to forgive me. I thought it would be good for them to be here. This is Captain John Cameron, and the Reverend Timothy Reynolds. Gentlemen, this is my very dear friend William Murdoch and his fiancée Anastasia Dalian."
"I had been told they were married." Captain Cameron stated, casting a glance at us.
"A necessary fiction to keep their identities hidden from the papers," Charles waved it away, "But hopefully not for too much longer."
Will handed me into a seat across from Captain Cameron, and I couldn't help but smirk. "Charles, it's going to be next year at the soonest."
"Or it could be tonight." He looked to Will sitting across from him, "The vicar here, though Anglican, is willing to provide a service for a Presbyterian, and a-" He shook his head, "I'm sorry Ana, I'm not sure what denomination you are."
"Lutheran."
Reverend Reynolds flinched like he'd taken a blow, but sighed. "Fine. So long as I can keep the room."
"The room was given for you coming here." Charles sniped, then turned to Will. "I've arranged everything as best I can. I would have been content with simply the captain officiating, but I figured you would want a priest. I will gladly serve as a witness, it's the least I can do. If you want we can have it done after dinner, we've got a room set aside and a pile of flowers for her to pick from."
"Charles, what in the world are you talking about?" Will had his hands to his temples, rubbing them.
"I thought you might like to arrive in New York as Mr. and Mrs. William Murdoch." Charles's voice was exasperated, "To deal with the gossips onboard and prevent anything from coming out when we arrive. I gathered what was needed, you could at least thank me for it."
"Dhia air neamh tha thu a' fòghlum amaid-each" Will cursed, standing and physically pulling Charles from his chair. I quietly laughed seeing the two of them move away to a space outside of the lounge, still completely visible through the windows. Charles had his hands out, trying to patiently explain something while Will gestured wildly, his face growing redder and redder.
The vicar looked to me, confused. "What in the world is going on?"
"I believe Mr. Lightoller is playing a joke on Mr. Murdoch." The captain sipped from his wine glass, "He has a tendency to play such jokes to liven up our days out at sea. I hope he hasn't offended you, Miss."
"Not at all," I almost rolled my eyes, "In fact, perhaps we should play along? It would be rather fun."
He tilted his head, considering. "Perhaps, although I am curious as to what exactly Mr. Murdoch said before leaving the table."
The vicar shrugged, "I'm not sure, but it did not sound positive in the slightest."
Our table almost seemed to hold its breath as the two men came back in, Charles almost glaring at Will as he took his seat. Will, for his part, was glaring right back. I took a sip of wine before turning to Captain Cameron. "I think you're right, we should see if some other passengers would also stand as witnesses."
I could see Will blanch out of the corner of my eye as the captain nodded. "Yes, it would do to have more witnesses for the ceremony. Have you decided which flowers you would like? I know that we have roses, tulips and daisies onboard for the cabins."
"Oh, roses are one of my favorites." I sighed, reaching over to take Will's hand. "Would those be alright?"
"Ana, in God's name, we are not doing this." He pulled his hand from mine, bringing them up to cover his face. "I am marrying you in a church, with your mother there, in a proper ceremony."
"It would all be proper," Reverend Reynolds spoke up, "Weddings at sea can be quite romantic. I married my own wife on a ship."
"How lovely," I turned to him, "Was it outdoors?"
"Yes, with clear skies and calm seas. Almost as if the Lord was giving us his approval."
Captain Cameron turned from the waiter he had been giving his order to. "I cannot promise calm seas, but the sky is quite beautiful right now. You can see for miles, and with the stars above it would make a pretty setting."
"See Will?" Charles chuckled, "Doesn't that sound nice?" Our whole table started as Will roughly shoved himself back, storming out of the lounge and leaving us bewildered. I could hear the concern in Charles's voice as he called after him. "Will, it was only a thought!"
I stood, leaving my napkin. "I'll talk to him. Please, if the food arrives before we're back, go ahead and eat. I know you all have duties to attend to." I was following close enough to hear him walking through the passageways, although I didn't call out to him. The anger was practically boiling off him, and I waited for a moment before stepping out on deck to follow him. He was leaning over the railing, his knuckles white on it and his head thrown back. Captain Cameron hadn't been lying, the starry sky stretched above us in an almost endless parade. I let the door close behind me, "Will?"
"Don't." He growled, "For God's sake Ana, don't talk." I kept quiet, instead sitting on a deck chair. The wind blowing along the deck from our passage was at least warm, although I would not have rejected a wrap, the sleeves on the dress were very short and hardly substantial. I could hear Will breathe heavily, staring up at the stars. My gut twisted, a flare of nervousness rising in me. It was a long moment before he spoke again, "We are not doing that, Ana. I refuse."
"I think it was only a joke, Will." I twisted my skirt between my fingers, "At least we were only joking, the captain, the vicar and I."
"Charles wasn't!" He spun on his heel, his face red. "He actually intended for this farce to happen. As if I wasn't good enough to marry you like you deserve, as if I was unable to control myself around you and needed the cover of a fast marriage." The image of him, drunk and pulling my skirt up, flashed through my mind. But then I remembered his face, crestfallen when he realized what he had almost done.
"Will, you can't-"
"Ana! You don't know him, I've known him for years." He stalked to the deck chair, standing over me. "This was not one of Charles's pranks, he actually meant this. He told me so, that he had heard the gossip about us and wanted to solve it."
I reached up, taking his hand even though he pulled it back. "Then maybe he was trying to do you a kindness."
"And to think I was going to ask him to stand as my best man." Will's voice was bitter, but he at least sat when I pulled on his hand. "He's lost that chance, this is intolerable."
"Will, he's your closest friend." I squeezed his hand, "Don't write him off like this, at least think about it. Please?"
I could practically hear his teeth grinding, but he jerked his head in a nod. "I highly doubt I will change my mind. I can't go back in there, I'll try and kill him if I do."
"You will not." I batted his shoulder lightly, "You will at least be polite." He hardly moved, and I reached over, touching his chin and turning him towards me. "For me? Can you be polite to him for me?"
"Only for you." He brought his own hand up, covering mine. "Although you are absolutely rotten for what you did."
"It seems I've been rotten all day," I said as he stood, tucking my hand against his arm. "Cursing, wearing tight corsets, wanting to marry you." He chuckled at that, by the time we had regained the lounge he seemed his usual self. I couldn't help but give a slight pout as I saw our table, Charles and Captain Cameron having left nothing behind but some dirty dishes. The vicar was polishing off a bowl of soup, but he absented himself quickly as we sat. I looked to Will, "Really Will, it was only a joke. Please don't be angry with Charles. He meant well."
"I can be angry with who I choose." He muttered, tearing into his lamb, but there was no real venom to his voice. "And I will be angry with him as long as I like." I wound up poking at my steak, only eating a few pieces. My stomach was too knotted up to allow for more. I had caused this, if I hadn't been so insistent on sharing a cabin we wouldn't have been noticed. If I hadn't played along with Charles's plan, Will wouldn't have gotten so angry. I sighed, setting my fork and knife down. Will looked up from his plate, "Ana?"
"I'm sorry, I guess I'm not hungry." I set my napkin on the table, "Meet you in the cabin?" He nodded, and I made my way there as quickly as I could. Without Will there though I had to call a stewardess to help me undress, and I sat in my nightgown alone, trying to find something to distract myself from the guilt that was coursing through me. Verne proved no help though, and I left him abandoned on the nightstand as I curled up under the blankets in the dark.
It was only a short while before Will entered, the light cutting through the open door. I couldn't see him, I was turned away and didn't feel like rolling over. I didn't want to fight anymore, I just wanted it to be over. I closed my eyes, listening to hear what was happening. The bed shifted as Will sat on it, taking off his shoes. He didn't need any help to undress and don his pajamas, sliding underneath the blankets. I still didn't move, hoping he'd think me asleep. The bed shifted again, and I felt a hand brush over my shoulder. "Ana?" His voice was thick with emotion, but I didn't respond. I just breathed, long and deep. I felt his hand move up from my shoulder, tracing through my hair and brushing a lock back from my face. It was replaced by his lips in a brief kiss, "Good night, love."
It took me along time to fall asleep, but I kept my back to him the whole time. It was necessary so he couldn't see my lips curl as I felt the guilt rise in me, again and again. It seemed endless, and every time I thought I had shoved it down enough to allow me some rest, it rose back up stronger and fiercer. I was the cause that Will was angry with his closest friend, a friend he was going to ask to stand by him on our wedding day. In the dark though I vowed that I would fix it, that by the time we reached New York they'd be faster friends than ever before. It was the only way for me to fall asleep.