CHAPTER 1
You ever felt like you just wanted to punch everyone you see right in the eye?
MAY 25
“Look dad, mom I really don’t wanna go there! I don’t even know the people there. Come on, New York’s my home. Cant you understand that?! Just..please.. let me stay. And besides, you’re not going with me, are you? Is it too hard for you to understand that I cannot live alone.”
This sucks. Bigtime.
Whatever their reason is, they cannot make me do this. I mean, who on earth would want to leave New York? The place where everything was going well for me. I rolled my eyes and my hands clenched into fists. Dad took a step forward and held my shoulders. My eyes were dropped on the floor, avoiding to make an eye contanct with this evil, very evil persons in front of me.
“You have to understand, we cannot just leave the company, ok?”
"Oh yeah, right. Sorry, I forgot about that little detail," I said sarcastically.
He cannot leave the company. He cannot leave the business. He cannot leave everything but he can leave ME. I looked to my mom with begging eyes, but she just shook her head. I know what that means.
Not that I'm judging her but what kind of mother is she? I mean, couldn't she look at me for 10 straight seconds and tell me she loves me and she doesn't want me to be away from her for a long time? Can't she?
Again, she shook her head. And again, I truly understand what that means.
That means, I'm screwed for life.
I took a deep, shaky, very frustrated breath as my frown deepened. I spoke, “I can't leave New York too, ok? Do you even know how this makes me feel?! I have the most perfect life here. You can't just send me somewhere I don't know a thing about.”
So, maybe that's kind of exaggerated because I've been there once or twice? Don't really know. But who cares?!
My mom shot me a warning glance. She doesn't like it when I talk back to dad. But hey! It's me we're talking about so I have a say in this. Dad sighed and everyone knows what that is. He just made up his mind. Frustrated, a tear rolled down my cheek, but I was not running away this time. I'll do everything I can to convince them not to send me there.
Everything. And by everything, I meant kneeling down.
"If I ever did something wrong to you. If I ever did something that disappointed you or made you want to disown me... I swear, I swear, I'll make up for it. Just don't do this to me!"
I tried to cry, but I'm really not much of an actor, so I may have looked like a spoiled brat who throws tantrums because of an ungranted wish. And maybe I do look like that right now. A lump formed in my throat as a light bulb flashed in my mind. Why don't I...
I stood up and held mom's hands. I tried so hard to make more tears vacate from my eyes. "Mom, you're a woman. You know how scared we are from the big bad world. What if some psycho murderer went after me and chop me piece by piece and then throw my chopped body somewhere—"
"You're overreacting, baby. That will never happen to you," says my guy who would not want any other boy to talk to me. Great irony. My God!
I pulled out my hand from mom's. I tilted my head twitched my lips. My heart was racing in anger and chagrin. "Mom. Dad. I'm serious. Why are you doing this to me?"
My mom tried to take my hand again but I swerved. My jaw was tight as tight as my fists are. I willed myself to calm down and remember that these guys are still my parents. I took a deep breath and so did mom whos said, “Look, we are just preparing you for your life. You have to be independent. You’re gonna have your own house, your own everything. Don’t worry, we will visit you…”
"Ok, now leave my room." I uttered through my gritted teeth. I exhaled.
"Nicolle, watch your manners," dad warned.
"Ok," I countered. "Mom. dad. leave my room. Now."
I saw mom blink a few times as she tried to stroke dad's back to calm him down and stop him from kicking me right in the stomach. I turned my back on them and dropped my whole body on my bed. I heard the door shut as I closed my eyes.
I reached for my pillow and reached for my phone. I called Vincent.
"Yo," he greeted the moment he picked up.
"Hey," I greeted back lazily. "You win," I murmured, aware of the fact that he might not understand me because I was speaking with my mouth taped on the bed.
"What?" he asked.
"You win. I'm leaving." I could almost see him jumping in delight. See, Vincent loves and will always love wager. And he always wins. And now, he wins again.
"See? Told you so. There's no stopping them." I heard him chuckled at the other line. If I could just punch him straight through, I would. I rolled my eyes at my brother's very mean attitude.
As if, sensing that I'm in the deepest pits down in the dumps, he pointed, "Know what, Jot. You're gonna love it there. Yeah, New York's the best but..."
"Thanks, Cent but I don't think I would be needing your words of adive." I butted in, sticking emphasis on the last three words.
I hung up.
And I became, hopeless. And hopless. And hopeless. And hopeless.
***
I was there. Standing. Waiting for other words to be spoken by my dad. I can't do anything about it since… yeah, since my dad is the ace of the house. He’s the boss, you know. We should always, always go his way. Otherwise, you’ll lose your allowance which is about worse than this situation.
"Nicolle, just go," my mother said softly. She wiped my tears with his thumb then kissed me on the forehead. She used to be on my side but then dad convinced her that I should do this. It's a family tradition, he said. They also sent Vincent away 2 years ago. The only difference is, Vincent agreed and I didn't.
I sighed at my father’s final decision. I’m leaving for Philippines.
Alone.
Two guards were assigned to watch for me during the whole flight. Actually, they were assigned to guard me and make sure I do not run away. I was all packed. It was my mom who did all the packing.
The trip was silent. No words from me, except of course when talking to the flight attendants. I kept my earphones right in my ears as I did not want to face or hear the cruel, annoying, really irritating world.
I am grumpy.
After about 20 hours, tops, of traveling in air, here I am in the Philippines. And yet agian, alone, because the job of the two guards are done. I scratched the back of my head as I paced down the tiled floor of the airport.
And could I just add? It's boiling in here.
So damn.
JUNE 13
I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I hate my—
OH!
It is hell in here.
Literally.
Can anywhere be hotter than here?
So, today is my first day of school. It's June but it's the start of the school year. June is summer. Isn’t June supposed to be the three month vacation? It’s like that in US.
But then again, I'm no longer in the U.S. of A. I'm in Asia. Philippines, in particular. Then I remembered what my mom told me about the weather here. It's a tropical country so obviously, there would only be two seasons : hot or very hot.
I groaned as sweat exited my pores.
I was walking down the street, half asleep. Obviously, alone and still wondering how people live here; how I wil live here, also. How do I make friends? How do I negotiate with people here? And most importantly, how do I survive?!
I could hear people talking. In Filipino, of course. I do understand them though. See, my mom is a Filipino and my dad is an American. So, basically that made me half Filipino and half American. FilAm as they put it. Anyway, Mom had always taught us how to speak Filipino that's why we understand it well. Vincent and I were also taught on speaking it, but whenever we tried we just sounded so stupid. So very stupid that we would just laugh about it then give up learning.
As I ferret out everything around me, I felt the phone inside my pocket vibrate and heard it rang. I fished it out and answered without looking at who the caller was. Anyway, there's only gonna be like three people who would call me: dad, mom, Vincent.
“Hey! Dad. What’s up?” I greeted. It's a wild guess and fortunately for me, I was wrong.
“Hey. It’s Vincent and I think maybe you should start speaking in Filipino.”
I rolled my eyes. "Are you crazy? You tryna make me look stupid, aren't you?"
"That's what I'm good at." I could almost hear his very rebarbative smirk.
"What you want, Cent? You mind it or not, I'm hanging up. I'm about to cross the road."
Then I hung up. I continued walking, silently. Every step was heavy and really, it's confusing because it was only my third time to step out of my condo unit. I still don't know which way is which and which way leads to my school. I asked people and luckily, they all answered correctly.
I stopped in front of a very huge school and read the name.
Perez International School.
It's a huge one, yeah. But why do I have the feeling—
A rally of students wearing the same clothes passed by me, giggling and greeting each other 'cause you know, it's the first day of school. Hold on a second. God, I didn't know we are required to wear school uniform. And we are expected to wear that shit?
I shook my head and went inside dodging as much as people as possible and looking down to avoid making eye contact in case some of these people are you know, freak. And I hate dealing with freaks.
I went straight to the office of the school head and asked for my classes. There were people guiding me. Well I don’t understand but I think I was expected by some people to be here 'cause they were like waiting for me. Not that I'm bragging about it, but I'm like a VIP. Fuck yeah, baby.
I thanked the school head before I stormed out of his office. I studied my schedule. It's not like back in US. I only have one room and I don't have different classmates in different classes. Same faces, same classroom everyday. I could put up with that. What I can't put up with is, there's this Filipino subject.
I composed myself. This is it. I made my way to the classroom which was on the fourth floor of the Senior and Laboratory building. Again, dodge, avoid eye contact and keep calm.
When I opened the door, I saw everyone talking so noisy. I tried to fake a smile. Everyone responded with a stare. I cleared my throat and noticed yet againt that everyone was wearing a school uniform. Everyone but me. I was wearing a three year old pink Chuck Taylors, a white shirt with a printed word in front that read Darn and a fitted blue jeans.
I twitched my lips then removed my eyes from them, but that didn't make the staring thingy less creepy. I mean for the love of life! Every person inside the room was staring straight at me! And I can barely keep calm. All I want to do is run with my hands in the air and scream for help.
I adjusted the strap of my body bag and sighed. Everyone got back to minding their own business and detached their stares from me. I scanned the room for a vacant seat. Front row, no. Second row, occupied by giggly giggly giggly school girls. Third row, sleepyheads. Fourth row, one vacant seat. Fifth row, only three seats. Sixth row, only one seat.
I guess I'm gonna have to sit on the only vacant seat on the fourth row. I made my way. Dodge people. Avoid eye contact. When I was just a few feet away, someone stole the seat from me. I looked at her. She smiled.
"Sorry," she said it like she doesn't give a shit then shrugged. I narrowed my eyes.
I won't let you through the next time, I swore to myself.
I went on to sitting at the next row. Unfortunately, each seat was 'reserved' as written. There's a special treatment here. What the?!
Then I went on to next and las row. There was only one seat. Maybe it was just for emergency, like when someone break his chair. Whatever. Luckily, there was no 'reserved' written, so I guess I'm free to sit.
When I settled down, I noticed people had their eyes locked on me. Some of them had their mouths open. Did I do something wrong? I raised my eyebrows. I noticed them whispering, shooting looks at me. This is starting to creep me out.
Oh, don't mind them, I thought to myself. I plugged my earphones then just enjoyed the music. I was enjoying the chorus of The Fray's Look After You when two guys entered. Don't mind them too, I thought. Then a girl hurriedly approached me. The same girl who took my seat. "Hey! Alis dyan," she half shouted then left with the same agility.
I raised an eyebrow. “Uhh. What?” I tried to ask but she was long since gone. I shook my head and noticed that more eyes were locked on me. I discreetly rolled my eyes. What the hell are they doing?
The two boys who were entering just now came nearer to my seat. And that made me wonder even more why everyone was still looking at me. One of the two looks good. They both looked good. The first one looked an angel kind of handsome and the other the devil kind of handsome. But what's the difference, right? They looked good. But, so what?
They were both wearing jeans and shirts and sneakers. Their hair were dip died and they look really, really handsome. The only difference is the other guy have piercings while the other one was clean as heaven.
And yeah, they don't look like their whole blood is just a Filipino blood.
When they got nearer, I felt something for the devil kind of handsome guy. It was... it was... Natural hatred as I wanted to put it. He haven't done or said something to annoy me but that doesn't make him any less irritating. Or maybe I was exagerrating. Or, I don't know. I don't like his face?
He looked at me and smirked.
Yep, I hate him.
"Bago ka lang ba dito?”
It took a few seconds before I understood what he meant. Hey! I wasn't an expert in Languages! I removed by earphones.
"What?" I asked, trying to sound cool. And I didn't have to try.
He bent his head down at me which made our faces, maybe just a foot away from each other. "Tanong ko, bago ka lang ba dito?" he said cockily and silently.
I rolled my eyes. Need I say something? Of course I am! “Yeah, of course. Isn't that obvious, coco head?"
His eyebrows furrowed. Right, sarcasm doesn't really work good here. Was it a wrong move or a very wrong move? ]
"Hey, American girl, you don't know who you're messing with, do ya?"
I almost chuckled at his seriousness. For Chipe's sake! That level of my sarcasm wasn't even at the lowest rate but he's already shooting me dirty looks! "No. What I know is you look like a monster I mean, piercings all over your ears? And dip-died hair? Gosh, you look like some Z-rated monster."
Everyone gasped. I was trying to contain my guffaws. This was much fun. His eyes darken even more along with my every breath. He moved his head nearer. "I'm a monster?" he asked, quite challengingly.
Is this the moment that I should realize that he may be a son of some Mafia Lord who could order my murder anytime? Is this the moment that I should regret saying that? Is this the moment when I should be afraid?
Well, shit.
I have two options left:
1) Leave crying.
2) Annoy him more.
Option 2 activated.
"That, I know. But I didn't know that Z-rated monsters do not have brains either. Maybe you had an encounter with a zombie and it decided to eat your empty brain?"
Tell you what, I don't think this was a good idea. Maybe I should shift to option A? But why do I have a feeling I should keep on doing this?
"You are so dead." he whispered, his head now just less than a foot from mine.
I saw a hand tapped his shoulder. I looked up and saw the other guy. The Angel-looking one. “Paps, bago lang siya. Ako ng bahala.” His voice was smooth as silk and deep as a cliff. It was like music to my ears. The Z-rated monster backed off and the Cupid took his place.
His lips settled into a soft innocent smile.
“Hey, guess you should pick another seat... 'cause you're uhmm... occupying his space."
His perfectly shaped eyebrows raised on their own as he was waiting for my response.
And why do I have a feeling that this Cupid is actually practicing a bit of archery right on my heart. Got it? Oh, I totally do. I bit the inside of my cheek and when I was about to say 'ok', this was what exited from my mouth...
“Oh did he buy the chair? Sorry, I didn’t know every student is required to buy his own seat.”
I didn't want to but I talked sarcastically and that made him laugh. And it like, tickled my heart. Cheeseballs! He backed off and the monster guy looked at me very closely. Again, he advanced his head towards mine. Just an inch separates our faces. He smirked and threatened me.
“You’re dead.” he warned haughtily and I tried hard to stop myself from kicking him where the sun don't shine.
“Why, are you a hired killer?” I retorted.
I peeked over his shoulder and saw a class perfectly still.
With that, I just concluded that everyone was in shock. Perfect shock. I looked as his fist formed but he can't do anything, since I am still a lady and he cannot just hurt me in public. Go girl power! And since he cannot do anything about it, he just pulled an armchair and sat beside me.
This, I don't think I can do.
The classes started a few minutes later. I was still in my iPod. I was feeling the creepy stares of this guy beside me. For the first three periods, I was trying to scoot far away from him as possible but he will counteract it by scooting closer to me. We didn't speak a word, though. And I was so glad I didn't have to introduce myself in front of the class except in the third period.
And in that moment, the monster took his opportunity.
While I was standing in front of all of them, I saw him took my bag and zipped it open. "Hey!" I shouted. I pointed at his direction and looked at the teacher expectantly. He just shook his head. "You're not gonna do anything?" I demanded.
"Thanks for introducing yourself. You may now go back to your seat."
A lump formed in my throat and I was so irked that if I could kick him out the window, I undoubtedly would. I stood in front of him.
"Please, sit down, Ms. Lee."
I did.
He was keeping watch on me as he holds my bag so tightly. I let him. It's just a bag. It's just a bag, I told myself.
Minutes later, the bell rang.
Break time. The teacher exited. Everyone hurried outside. Then this guy threw my bag on the floor then walked away like he couldn't care any less. I didn't have any choice but to pick it up. I scratched the back of my head and hung my now dirty bag over my shoulder.
I was about to go outside of the classroom when three girls blocked me.
“Stupid American girl.”
Then they laughed. After that, they went on and bumped me on the shoulder. Each of them, but the last one gave me a hard bump. Real hard that it caused me to bump another person.
Lucky me.
The guy I just bumped is that Cupid who saved my ass. Well, kind of.
"You okay?" he asked as I steadied myself. I nodded and left him there alone. I thought that if I talk to this school heartthrob (which was a wild guess), then every girl will eat me alive. And no, I don’t want that.
As I was walking away from him, he called out. “Hey New Girl!”
I stopped and to my surprise he’s already walking beside me.
Very lucky me.
On our way to the school cafeteria, we weren't talking. Just walking together, but girls are started killing me in their own minds.
“So, you’re the best friend of that monster huh?” I coughed out trying to break the silence and the awkwardness.
He nodded then laughed. “Unfortunately, yes.”
Right. Unfortunately. You know how life could be ironic? You were a good guy and suddenly your best of a friend is so evil.
As soon as we reach the cafeteria, I earned more of every death glare of every girl. Uh oh.
“Well, don’t mind them, New girl.”
“I don't, really.”
I said confidently. I really don't mind. Well, I actually do but not a lot. Who would not mind people giving you death glares here and there and it's only your first day in school. Will I ever survive here?! There was silence. And I just like to keep the conversation going. So I just let a question spill out my mouth.
“So, uh.. this is a very awkward question but do you have a .. you know a girlfriend?”
And that question, dear people, shows the very gullible side of me. Why do I have to ask him that kind of question when I only met him like 3 hours ago?
I checked if his facial expression changed but it didn’t. And I was alleviated.
“Nope. Never had one. And that’s because I don’t want the her to suffer from those insecure girls around her." His eyes widened suddenly before checking his wrist watch. "Hey, I gotta go now. I cant be late for my training.”
He ran hurriedly.
“TRAINING FOR WHAT?!” I shouted, hoping he would hear me.
“TENNIS!”
Great, I play tennis too. But shoot, I didn't get his name.
I ordered my food and sat on an empty table near the counter. I was all alone, eating my sandwich. Then some familiar girl sat across my table. She was panting and I guess somebody is chasing after her.
The girl started to talk to me as I just kept staring at her like she grew a second nose.
“There are five people you should know in this school. First, yourself. You should know where you go, who you talk to, how you act. Well, you know, the common know yourself thingy. Second, that guy you just called ‘MONSTER’ in front of the whole class. His name is Blake Perez. He’s a monster, I agree but he is a rich type of monster. Don’t be shock, if I say his family owns the school. He’s a volleyball player and a very famous guy inside and outside of this school. Third, that guy you talked to just now. Andrew Bailey. He is half Canadian. A tennis player and the best friend of Blake. He’s rich, you know and very famous too. He’s a good guy. Fourth, Luke Sy. Half Chinese. Surely, you still haven’t seen that guy. He never attends classes on the first week. He is richer than Blake and Andrew combined. You seen those malls and convenience stores and every establishment outside this school? His family owns almost all of those. And that’s just only one fourth of their businesses. Those three boys are just princes of this school. Tha's why usually, people call them 'Prince'. You never should go on their way. And in case you still don't know, those are like the greek gods of this town. Heartthrob as you know it. And the last person you should know is… OH SHOOT!"
Then she was gone in thin air.
What the hell was that? Talking on a spur of moment to some girl who was quietly eating her sandwich, telling her people you should know about and leaving you hanging? That was a great impression you're leaving!
I was left there, speechless. Why does everyone leave me?! Is there no one here, even just anyone I can talk to for a very long time?
Anyway, in case you still don't know. I'm Nicolle Lopez Lee. And I'm 18 years old. Legal age, yeah. But my stituation right here, is the farthest thing from being legal.
Then I remembered my bag. I opened it and then saw garbage. Candy wrappers, papers.Gritting my teeth, I did my best to stifle myself from assassinating someone today. Guess, that could wait.
Right now, I had to go back to class.
And wait, the one I just called monster is actually the owner of this school?
Great, I'm fucked up.
***
Second day of classes. June 14. After that incident inside the classroom earlier, I thought I do not want to attend classes. I know I still can’t cut, but I do not want to see his face again. How can I escape from this class?! As I was walking slowly through the hallway, I saw a tennis racket. TENNIS? Good idea! I ran off to find the tennis court and I signed up. This will be a good way to save my ass from that class.
After I signed up, I saw the only person I know in school. Andrew. How I knew his name? Easy, that weird girl from the cafeteria yesterday told me so.
“Hey! I signed up for Tennis!" I shouted as I walked stride forward to him.
“You play tennis?” he asked before drinking his water.
“Uh.. yeah, not being conceited but I’m a bit good at it.”
“That’s cool.”
Then it was his turn to train. I was just sitting, there watching him. Watching his moves. He’s really a good player. 10 minutes later, he stopped playing and sat beside me on the bleacher. Wait, whoa.
“Can I ask you something?”
My heart started to beat so fast. That question he asked gave me a mini heart attack. What if he asked about the incident this morning? What if he told me to leave this school? Because I definitely would and just go back to New York.
“Hindi ka ba marunong mag Tagalog? Kase, nosebleed na nosebleed na ako eh.” Oh, that was his question. I understood that. We both laughed. After we rolled in the aisles, I cleared my throat and composed myself.
“Well, I can. It’s just that I sound so stupid whenever I do.”
"So what? Stupid naman lahat ng tao ah."
I shook my head and turned my nose up.
"Come on. Wala akong kaibigan na nagpapanosebleed sakin."
And what does that exactly mean? I raised my eyebrows. He held his hand out and his next sentence made me smile.
“Hi Friend!”
I breathed out. I shook hands with him. He's such a nice person. He considered me as a friend, even though it was only yesterday that I met him. And given that his best friend hates me. A lot.
“Andrew Bailey.” he introduced.
“Nicolle Lee.” I countered. We let go of each other's hands and I looked down. Maybe I could give it a shot, speaking in Tagalog. It won't hurt, will it?
“Bakit pala lumipat ka dito, Nicolle?” he asked out of the blue.
“Ahh… hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sayo yan. It’s a private matter.”
“Ok. Nirerespeto ko ang privacy mo,” he said between his guffaws. Whatever he's laughing at, I didn't have a clue.
“Oh yeah. That's so sweet. Thanks. By the way, do you know that girl with red hair? Kinausap niya kasi ako kahapon eh. Sabi niya I have five people to know in this campus.”
He was staring at me, still stifling spills of laughter. Hey! What's he laughing about?!
“Ahh… yung red hair? Oo…” he started. I was about to ask about that redhead's name when he resumed, “…hindi ko kilala yon.”
Was this some sort of a prank? Answering my question improperly while stifling laughter? I tried not to roll my eyes at his Vincent-like attitudes. He continued, “…ang dami kayang babeng red ang buhok. Pano ko naman malalaman kung sino yon?”
And finally, I gave in and groaned a bit. "What are you laughing at?"
“Eh kase, nakakatawa kang mag Tagalog eh.” Then he cracked up. Have this guy been smoking pot? I rolled my eyes.
“Hey, I grew up in New York, you know?”
He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Namimiss mo na no?”
“Yeah, of course. I mean, who would not? I grew up there. It's just so life changing when they sent me here.”
“Ang drama mo ha?”
I rolled my eyes, but laughed along with him, nonetheless. How lucky am I? I mean, my first friend here is actually someone I like. I wonder. I wonder if he's like this to every girl. Flirty.
“Hey, I think I'm gonna have to go to the ladies' room.”
He nodded and finished his bottled water.
“Tara, samahan na kita.”
And I thought that was kinda weird. But, ok, I'll go with the flow.
We walked together talking about tennis and he's not bragging about it, but he accidentally told me that he's gonna be playing for national competition this year. Wow. That's a huge thing.
“Pupunta ako sa cafeteria. Hintayin na lang kita don, ok?”
I nodded, then went inside. When I exited the cubicle, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“WAAAAAAA!”