Shiva had lost it.
The error 404 which ran in his mind years back, kept running in his mind again. What was he doing and what was happening? Everything that happened past Dev's wedding, especially that night where he held a crying Raavi in his arms, that incident changed everything. He was getting more insane by the second, because an old Shiva Pandya would never go to Prafulla's house, never get desperate to search for someone, never fumble with words.
And then, those two ghostly Raavi and Shiva were adding fuel to the fire by being around and bringing Shiva back to the past.
"Shiva?" Gautam yelled, throwing the pen on his brother and Shiva looked at him. "Dhyaan kaha hai tera?"
"Su che Gaumbi?" He asked, confused.
"I told you to help the customers, but you nodded and sat there, playing with rice." Shiva looked at his hands, dipped in the rice sacks and he got up immediately, making Gautam chuckle, "Dhara ka asar tujhpe toh nahi hua na? Even she has the habit of zoning out like this. Like bhabhi, like devar."
"Accha?" Dhara stopped at the entrance, hands on her waist, eyes narrowed at Gautam who was caught red handed. "Gaumbi?" She asked and Shiva now smiled, taking the few steps towards his sister-in-law, "su bole che?"
"Haan, Gaumbi su bole che?" Shiva asked, wrapping his hands around Dhara who held his chin, "tell me again?"
Gautam gulped, hesitating and thankfully few customers walked in on the same time and he pointed at them, "Kaka, kaki," He said aloud, walking past Dhara and Shiva, addressing the customers, "thank goodness for you two." He mumbled, helping them while Dhara sat back on the counter, reading the accounts book. Her mental math would always be her second best ability.
Her first best ability was of course, reading Shiva's mind, just as an open book.
"Shiva, did you forget to take this with you?" Dhara asked Shiva who was arranging the sacks for deliveries, he looked back and bit his tongue. He had forgotten in all the haste to take the one thing he was supposed to, the kheer ka dabba. "Shiva, kharab ho jayega."
"Main kha lu?" Gautam asked from behind the shelves.
"No," Dhara glared at her husband, "not after what I heard you talk about me."
"I was appreciating your ability of zoning out," Gautam tried to pacify Dhara by his sweet words but Dhara was too smart too fall for that, "Dhara, please."
"No,"
In their cute bickering, Shiva smiled, arranging the cereal boxes in the shelves after he was done with the sacks. They were an ideal couple for him, they were what he wanted if in case he did get marry to someone. But then, he was no Gaumbi, with all his rage and impulsiveness and no one could be Dhara, with how salient she was.
The only girl he had in his life was his childhood was the one he fought more than India must have fought for its freedom.
Raavi
His mind was spiraling into those unnamed, unsaid emotions again, his heart singing a melody and his eyes once again finding the little chaotic demons, this time they were here in this store. Little Shiva behind the counter where Dhara was right now, and little Raavi was seated on the counter, like she owned this shop.
Shiva tilted his head, trying to guess their age, they looked somewhere around fourteen this time, both of the kids now growing through puberty. Shiva had his angry face all the time, and Raavi had grown a step more closer to being the most beautiful, her hair were always playing with the wind. Fourteen year old Shiva was listing down the shop's goods that had arrived that day since Gautam was nowhere around and fourteen year old Raavi was smelling the raw mangoes she had in her hand.
"Shiva?" Raavi smelled the raw slices of mangoes, smacking her lips, "please pass me the salt and mirchi powder?"
Shiva looked up from his book, shaking his head as he pushed her off the counter, taking Raavi by surprise but she landed on her feet. "Tere massi ka naukar nahi hu," He grunted, as Raavi glared at him, "and ye humari dukaan hai, tujh jaise fokat logo ke liye nahi hai."
To that Raavi rolled her eyes, flipping her hair back, "Shiva, why do I even talk to you?"
"Trust me, I have been asking this question since the day I came across you." He replied, eyeing her and instead of frowning, Raavi smiled. "Abh kyu battesi dikha rahi hai?"
"Gussa karta hai na toh bilkul woh paagal kutte ki tarah dikhta hai." She teased him, making him more angry, "suit karta hai tujhe, abh sab mere Dev ki tarah toh nahi ho sakte na."
Shiva banged the desk with the pen and placed his hands on the counter, "stop with this Dev chant, until I am alive, I am not going to let you marry Dev." He pointed his finger at her, "so stop dreaming about this because to get to Dev, you have to get through me."
On that note, Raavi chuckled, shrugging, "you will see, Raavi will marry Dev and Shiva will have nothing to do but dance at our wedding," She teased him more, "dekhna, Pandya Niwas toh mein aake rahungi."
"Roz toh aati hai, teri sadi shakal leke." Shiva ranted, their eyes locked, "kabhi kabhi lagta hai mein hi tera...." He made the action of strangulating her neck but Raavi burst into laughter, and uncontrollable laughter as she held the counter for support. "Why are you laughing?"
"You want to kill me?" She laughed, shaking her head, "Trust me, if I die, you are going to be the first to cry." She shook her head, chuckling as she took a bite of the slice, the sourness soothing her.
"Why would I cry?" Shiva was confused, "I hate you, you know that right."
"There is a thin line between love and hate." Raavi winked, opening the salt bottle herself and sprinkling some on the slices. But before she could take a hold of the spices, Shiva stood in front of her.
"There is no thin line between hate and love," Shiva argued, not allowing Raavi to get the mirchi powder, "there is Shiva Pandya between them and I will never let you cross it."
"What if you cross it?" She asked mindlessly as she smelled her slices, "phir kya?"
That made Shiva silent, not knowing what he could reply to that and Raavi leaned closer and took a sniff of his t-shirt, and then ate her mango slices. Shiva thought she had lost it, because again, Raavi sniffed him and then had another mango slice.
"tu paagal hai kya?" He asked, stopping her from sniffing him again, "gadhedi toh thi, abh dimaag bhi ghaas khaane gaya kya?"
"Gadhedi nahi, smart." She replied, sniffing him again, "tere kapdo se masalo ki smell aati hai, mirchi, haldi, and tel ki bhi, toh bas, uss smell ko mehsoos karke ye kha rahi hu." She shrugged, "de toh nahi raha, smell toh kar sakti hu na."
Shiva laughed, as he looked at the duo, Teenager Shiva was trying his best to keep Raavi away from him but she kept smelling him until Shiva had to give her the mirchi bottle and Raavi got what she wanted. Shiva smiled, that girl somehow always got what she wanted, and she had different ways to achieve it.
"What are you laughing at?"
Shiva snapped out of it when he saw Anita and Raavi look at him from below, Raavi had asked him who he was laughing at and he did not want to tell her that he was laughing at them, when they were kids. But, he looked at Raavi, she had worn a simple salwar, her dupatta playing with the wind but her tired face was still weary and she carried no radiance.
"Nothing," Shiva shook his head, jumping down, "kuch kaam tha?" He asked, and Anita nodded, telling him that they needed a particular kind of tea and although Shiva tried to take his eyes off Raavi who had lowered her gaze, he could not. All this while he only kept looking at her, admiring her and hoping she would raise her eyes at him again, like she would do when they were kids.
"Shiva?" Anita snapped in front of him, "Shiva?"
He snapped out, lost, and Raavi looked at him, confused as well.
"Kuch kaha aapne?"
The aap took the girls by complete surprise, and Raavi furrowed her eyebrows, while Anita had her mouth ajar. Not only the girls, Dhara and Gautam who were bickering also stopped to see whether their Shiva had treated Anita with respect.
"Ye kya ho gaya hai isse?" Gautam asked Dhara, nudging her with his arm.
"Shhh," Dhara shushed him, with a hand wave, "sirf Shiva ko dekhna Gaumbi, kaise nazar nahi hatt rahi hai uski Raavi se, jo." Gautam sighed, but he looked at the trio, especially Shiva who was blanked out.
"Shiva tu theek hai na?" Raavi asked, tilting her head, her soft voice made Shiva's anxious heartbeats to relax. "ajeeb bante jaa raha hai tu."
"woh..." He found no words, it was like he was a stuck like an old record. "woh..."
Anita slapped her forehead, "isska woh woh wapas shuru ho gaya..."
"Woh?" Gaumbi asked, looking at Dhara but she tsked, slapping his hands away, fully focused on them.
"Woh?" Raavi asked, ushering Shiva to speak further. "Woh kya?"
Shiva shook his head, what was happening to him. He looked behind Raavi, the teenager Raavi and Shiva were also shaking their heads at him, disappointed. "Woh..."
He just left from there, baffled at himself for having no words to speak and busied himself with the shelves behind, hitting his head so that it could work properly.
They all watched him go, especially Raavi who was not understanding what in the world was happening to this guy who never thought once before speaking and now could not speak without thinking.
"Rehne de," Anita held Raavi's shoulder, "look, that cart over there, kaka has our favourite raw mango slices. It's been ages since we had some," Raavi shook her head per usual, "chal na Raavi!"
Raavi shook her head, clearly not interested as Shiva kept an eye on her, Dhara and Gaumbi busy with the other customers who walked in. "Let's just take the tea powder and go," She softly said, holding her head, "my head feels heavy."
Sighing, Anita approached Dhara and asked for the tea powder while Raavi looked around the store. This was the store where she would come in the hopes of seeing Dev and spend time with him, but always ended up fighting with Shiva. She loved fighting with Shiva, because that would get Dev to defend her and for Shiva to scrunch his nose.
Suddenly she felt her breathing rise, her head heavier than her feelings and the store spinning faster than a top. She held the shelf nearby as she could see the entire thing shift, upside down and sideways. Feeling both pukish and giddy, she fell, thinking about a good sleep right here in the middle of the store and her eyes shut, as darkness enveloped her and she gave up fighting.
However before her lighter self could hit the floor, Shiva held her in his arms and his speedy action caused ruckus in the store as they saw Raavi faint, lying on the floor, and held by Shiva. Dhara, Gautam and Anita quickly rushed towards the girl, as Shiva held her, tapping her face, rubbing her hands.
More than being scared at Raavi who fainted, all of them, including Anita, were shocked to see Shiva.
That man was restless, calling out to Raavi, rubbing her hands, tapping her face, as he kept her head on his lap. They were all still, shocked to see someone like Shiva lose his mind, holding Raavi close to him and tears hitting his eyes.
Shiva on the other hand had no idea what was happening to him when he took Raavi in his arms, he felt his entire life came crashing down with her as he held her. He tapped her face, "Raavi," He kept chanting her name, "Raavi," He yelled, but the girl was not responding at all. When Dhara and Gautam gathered, Shiva looked at his bhabhi with teary eyes, "bhabhi dekho na, Raavi ko kuch ho gaya," He tapped Raavi's face again, "Raavi!"
Shiva never cried, he never felt the need to display his emotions out in public but his heart and his mind, were betraying all his principles as he looked at the lifeless Raavi. "Chipkali, please," He tapped her face, holding her closer to his chest, "bhabhi, please kuch karo."
They snapped out of their shocked trance, Anita got on her knees while Gautam got a glass of water quickly and Shiva sprinkled some on Raavi, the girl did not respond. "Please, please," Shiva begged, helplessly, "please uth jaa," He sprinkled some more water and Raavi shivered as she struggled to open her eyes.
When she did, and met Shiva's teary eyes, he felt like someone breathed fresh air into his lung and he sighed, helping her sit back. Dhara made Raavi drink water as Raavi held her head, surprised to see Shiva this close to her.
"What happened?"
"What happened!" Shiva yelled at her, as she gulped, "kitne darr gaye the hum," He said, more like he was scared, "what happened to you?"
Raavi rested her back on the shelf, everyone giving her space to breathe and Shiva got up too. "Woh, suddenly I felt so weak... everything turned black..." She gasped for breath, crying, "and I thought I died," She said, shaking her head and wiping her tears as Anita side hugged her. "I really thought I died..."
Shiva's hand fisted on hearing her say such words, but he kept his calm.
"And then..." She stopped, looking at Shiva, mouth opening and closing like a fish, "and then..."
"then?" Dhara asked.
Raavi looked at Shiva, not wanting to disclose what happened, "and then I smelled something strong," She told the half-truth, "strong spices, mirchi, haldi aur tel, and the scent brought me back, snapping me out." She said and while Anita hugged her, relieved while Shiva looked at the girl, and realised how his nightmare actually came alive.
Once Raavi was okay, seated under the fan, and being surrounded by Anita and Gautam, Dhara held Shiva's hand. "Kya hua Shiva?" She asked, shaking her head, "What are you hiding?"
Meanwhile when Gautam went to fetch some juice for Raavi, Anita held Raavi's hand, "kya dekha tune?" Raavi gulped, looking at Shiva, "what are you hiding?"
_
A/N
what are they hiding?
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I need prayers, for what, I cannot tell, but if you read this, just utter a small prayer for me <3