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listen to: youth - daughter
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After our little conversation, Jennifer no longer had to drag me everywhere she went. I kept to myself and stayed silent, following her through the Beacon Hills Hospital like a lost puppy.
Her words were right. After all the death and grief I had suffered through my horribly long life, my heart had grown used to the darkness that shrouded it. But no matter how many times I tried to convince myself, I couldn't get it out of my head that I was no better than Jennifer herself. I had never killed innocent bystanders, no, but I had killed plenty of supernatural creatures. Not to mention the humans that decided to join some of those creatures' armies that lost their lives to my hands as well.
I was a paradox in the flesh; I was born to protect, but to protect I must kill, and to those I protected, killing was a sin.
I was made to protect and destroy.
But this time, in Beacon Hills, I was unleashed into a different era: one where the pack I was protecting was used to Death. I had been given a new life, a new identity by the power of the Nemeton in this town - for a reason. And that reason was to protect Scott and Derek's pack.
Now was not the time to grieve for the lives that I've taken in the past.
"Blaise, can you pick up a scent to see where the group is at?" Jennifer asked. We stood in an abandoned hallway. The emergency backup lights flickered throughout, causing an eerie glow to be cast among us.
"I can try." Closing my eyes, I focused on the one scent that I was most familiar with. Thankfully, his scent wasn't too far away. "This way," I said, and started to make my way through the empty hallways.
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Jennifer didn't stop me when I walked at least ten yards ahead of her. She and I both knew that even if I tried to run from her, she would just make me vomit up the black poison in my bloodstream. And I wasn't in the mood to be weak again.
My ears picked up on multiple hushed voices coming from behind a pair of blue double doors. I didn't even hesitate to push them open and walk into the conversation going on between Stiles and Derek.
"-so my dad, Cora, and Blaise are all dead!" he snapped at the Alpha, his hands balling up into fists by his side.
It saddened me that he thought I was going to die, but I shook the feeling off. Instead, I got the boy's attention.
"Stiles."
He turned away from Derek, his face contorting from an expression of hatred and fear to a look of love and relief.
"Blaise," was all he said before he crashed into me, wrapping his arms around my torso. I was startled at first, my arms stiff by my sides, but I eventually relaxed into his embrace. He held on to me so tightly that it was a little painful, though I didn't say anything.
"And where have you been? Scheming with Jennifer?"
I broke away from Stiles' embrace to see Peter Hale looking at me with judgmental eyes. Ugly, boring, judgmental eyes, to be exact.
"Have you forgotten who is the stronger one between us, Peter?" I asked, a small smirk tugging at my lips. "It seems that you don't remember how old I am." At that, he backed off, focusing on his dying niece once again.
I averted my gaze to Cora as well, who lay on a metal slab, her temperature rising and breaths quickening. She looked horrible to say the least. I suddenly grew self-conscious, wondering if I looked the same.
Scott was the first one to speak up. "Is she really dying?" he asked, hovering over Peter's shoulder.
The former Alpha actually looked worried. "She's definitely not getting any better."
Scott frowned at his answer, growing desperate. "There has to be something we can do. We have to help her."
"You can't," a new voice said. "Only I can help her."
Finally, Jennifer walked in, entering the conversation. I wonder what took her so long to get here. She looked a bit crazier now than when I last saw her in the hallway.
"I can save her and Blaise, and I can tell you where Sheriff Stilinski is," the druid continued. "But there is a pack of Alphas in this hospital who want me dead. So I'll help you, but only when I'm out of here and safe." She folded her arms, showing us that she was serious. "Only then."
I was about to say something, but Derek was already trying to attack her. Thank God Scott held him back, because I definitely wasn't going to stop that battle from happening.
"Wait!" the Beta yelled.
"She was trying to get out of here!" Derek reasoned.
"I was trying to keep from getting killed. You can't blame me for that," Jennifer snapped. "I only took Blaise with me to ensure that if something were to happen to me, she would face the consequences of your actions."
Stiles stepped up next, a scowl prominent on his pale face. "Well, if you want to really show us you're one of the good guys, then heal Blaise and Cora."
Jennifer shook her head, giving him a dangerous look. "Not until I'm safe."
I could see Stiles was getting more and more frustrated, so before he lashed out again, I grabbed hold of his hand. He paused to look down at it, then glanced at me. I squeezed his hand, letting him know that it was going to be all right.
For now.
"I'd like to volunteer a different method of persuasion," Peter piped in, his voice a low growl. "Let's torture her."
I was all for the idea, except that I knew I would surely face consequences if Jennifer got hurt. My eyes trailed towards Stiles, who pursed his lips in deep concentration, probably thinking the exact same thing I was.
Before anyone could say anything, a voice blasted over the loud speaker. "Um, can I...have everyone's attention please?"
My eyes widened at the familiar female tone. Melissa.
"Mr. Deucalion," she started, then stuttered, "uh, I mean, just Deucalion, requests you bring the woman calling herself Jennifer Blake to the E.R. reception. Do this, and everyone else can leave." She took a shaky breath. "You have ten minutes."
My heart dropped. First, Jennifer took Stiles' dad, and now Scott's mom was being Deucalion's hostage. It seemed that there was no right way out of this situation.
"He's not going to hurt her," Jennifer said, shaking her head.
"Shut up," Derek snapped.
"He won't!" she argued. Then, turning to the Beta, her expression softened. "Scott, you know why. Tell them it's true."
I hung my head when Derek looked at the tan boy with curiosity. Scott's secret was finally out, and I didn't exactly know if that was a good thing.
"What does she mean?" Derek questioned, but it didn't look like Scott was in the mood to answer him.
Jennifer beat him to it anyway. "You're not the only one he wants in his pack, Derek." She looked to me, her eyebrows raising, a twisted smile on her face. "Tell us why, Blaise."
I scowled when all eyes turned towards me. Stiles was supposed to be the only one who had knowledge of my past endeavors with Deucalion, but of course Jennifer had to know too. What didn't she know? Her spirit was about as old as I was.
With a sigh, I turned my gaze on Derek and Peter. "Duke doesn't just want an Alpha pack. He wants perfection." I was reminded of Morrell's words from earlier. "He's an obsessive. If he can't have you, he'll destroy you."
"And what does that have to do with Scott?" Derek asked.
"Duke wants to add the rarest of Alphas to his ranks," I said with a shrug. "Scott is one of those rare possessions."
"A True Alpha," Peter muttered, as if he finally understood. Derek looked to his uncle for more clarification, so he continued. "A kind that doesn't have to steal his power from another. One that can rise from the force of his own will."
Peter tilted his head to the side, studying his Beta like he was a lab rat. "Our little Scott," he murmured.
I stepped up, breaking the three apart before the tension got any higher. "All right, boys. Let's not get creepy," I said, pushing them away from each other. "Why don't we think more about how the hell we're going to get out?"
Scott gave me a nod. "We need to get Jennifer out of here first."
Stiles was bewildered, rushing up to his best friend. "Scott, your mom -"
"My mom said there's one more ambulance coming in twenty minutes and I don't think we've been here that long," he said. "So if we can get down to the garage and get the last ambulance...we can get out of here."
"The twins aren't just going to let us walk out," Peter reminded him.
I smiled, cracking my knuckles. "That's what I'm here for, right?"
"Blaise, you're weaker -" Stiles started, but I interrupted him.
"I am not weak." He flinched at my snappy remark, his face contorting in hurt. But I couldn't feel guilty now. No, I had to focus.
I looked back at Jennifer. "I can still draw power from you, right? To get you out of here?"
She was a bit hesitant, but from the look on her face, I knew what the answer was.
"Good," I said. Then, clasping my hands together, I faced the group again. "Who's going with me?"
"I'll help distract them," Scott said.
"You mean fight them," Derek corrected.
The Beta shrugged. "Whatever I have to do."
"Great!" I interjected. "What about you, Derek?"
The sour wolf gave me a frown. "Fine. I'll help."
"Um...sorry, but I'm not going anywhere without you, Derek," Jennifer interrupted. "If I can't take Blaise with me, it has to be you."
"I'll do it," Peter said, stepping up. "I'll go."
I looked back, my lip curled back in disgust. "Really?" He nodded. "Fine," I sighed. "Just don't get in my way. I'm going to have to go full-blown Shadow Phoenix on these guys to be successful. Got it?"
"Yes ma'am," all three werewolves said.
I smirked a little, then turned away to lead them out. "Well, c'mon now. We don't have all day. Let's tear up some Voultron wolf, shall we?"
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The lights flickered dramatically throughout the narrow hallway. I stood in front of Scott and Peter, who were snarling like savages when they laid eyes on Ethan and Aiden.
"Let's rumble," Peter muttered, his icy blue eyes shining.
The boys went on ahead of me, taking on the Voultron wolf first while I stayed back. I watched with a smug look on my face as Peter got thrown to the wall right as he approached the Alpha. I felt a twinge of guilt for not helping them right away, but Peter got whatever he deserved.
"Et numquam sine," I whispered to myself, curling my hands into fists, "hoc iter valent. Journey without it and you will never prevail." Then, louder, "Morte dificere sis nimis habes!"
As soon as the last words came out of my mouth, I was levitating off the ground with my wings fully extended. Power flowed through my veins. It felt so good to not feel weak anymore, but I knew the feeling would only last so long.
Ready to get my taste of flesh, I dove straight for the Alpha monster.
It was so focused on throwing Scott to the ground, it didn't even see me coming. I was at my maximum velocity in the air when I collided with the Voultron wolf, shoving him into the wall so hard that it made a nice, deep hole in the drywall.
I quickly backed away from the fallen Alpha, focusing on regaining my strength again. It slowly got up, not as affected from the blow as I had anticipated. In less than a second, it was charging towards me, ready to take my head off.
But I was quicker.
I slid under the werewolf as he lunged for me, wrapping my hands around his ankles so his face met the ground again. He fell with a thud, an angry growl emitting from the back of his throat.
My feet helped me stand again, ready for another attack. The Voultron wolf stood in front of me, his body almost blocking the entire hallway. I glanced behind him to see Scott and Peter hurrying the opposite way the group was going. Why were they doing that?
The questions that raided my mind made me lose my focus. The Voultron wolf was making its way right towards me and this time, I was too slow.
His arms wrapped around my body as he threw me to the side, my neck getting whiplash from hitting the wall so hard. I slid down the wall, pieces of plaster getting tangled in my hair. But before I could reach the ground, a sharp pain erupted from my stomach.
Looking down to see where the pain had come from, I saw that the Alpha's claws were ripping through my flesh.
My mouth formed an "O" shape, for I was shocked that the twins would go for such a low blow.
My shock faded when the Voultron wolf took his now bloody hand from my stomach, causing me to slide all the way down the wall and slump on the floor.
The blow made me lose all the power I had gained through Jennifer's mantra. Now I was weak again.
I thought the Alpha was just about to finish what he started, but instead of ending my life, he split into two. Ethan and Aiden stood in front of me now, clearly just as shocked as I was.
Ethan was the first to speak, turning to his brother. "We weren't supposed to touch her! Deucalion specifically told us not to hurt Blaise, Aiden. What are we going to do now?" The twin was clearly furious; probably scared to death just thinking about the many ways Duke would punish him.
Aiden looked passive. "She was the one who came at us." He squatted down to my height, a small smirk on his lips. "I know you'll heal, won't you? You always come back."
A small trail of blood escaped from the corner of my lips as I spoke the truth.
"Not always."
His smirk faded, and he stood tall with his brother again. "Well, it's too late to help her now, Ethan. Let's just go and pray she doesn't die."
At that, they walked away, leaving me alone.
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Blood was everywhere: on the floor, on the walls, on my hands. The color was something I had become accustomed to. Wherever I went, blood was spilled.
But this time, it was my blood.
The red was staining my hands made it hard for me to drag myself along the tiled floor. Casting a quick glance behind me, I saw the smeared trail of blood I was leaving.
I shook my head, not being able to look at the vivid red color any longer than I needed to. From now on, I could only look forward.
Only one thought was getting me through the pain: I have to reach Stiles.
Honestly, in the condition I was previously in, I didn't know if I would live another five minutes. The blood...it was more than normal. And with the mistletoe in my system, I couldn't heal.
Maybe this was it.
I grunted as I pulled myself up, my hand holding onto the door handle with a tight grip. The pain was immense, but it had been going on so long now that my brain was numb to it.
With a hard shove, I opened the double doors. The cool, outside air hit my face, stunning me a little bit. I was expecting rain, not the cold.
My eyes lazily moved to where an ambulance sat ten yards away. A scent filled my nostrils, and I knew right away there was someone in there. I couldn't tell who though, because my brain was currently numbed by pain.
My hand tried to plug the wounds in my abdomen, but it was no use. I had already lost an astonishing amount of blood, and without the help of medical treatment, I was a goner.
I stumbled towards the ambulance, using all of my willpower to take each step. Hopefully whoever was inside the emergency vehicle could help me enough so I could make it through the night.
Finally, I reached the back of the ambulance. Before I was close enough to open the doors and get inside, my feet tripped over each other, and I fell right into the ground.
Tiny pieces of gravel dug their way inside my wounds, making the pain even worse. But I felt nothing; I was numb.
"Blaise?" a soft voice said from above me. I was too exhausted to look at who it was, but my ears already knew. The voice belonged to the boy I loved; the only voice I wanted to hear at the moment. "Oh my God, Blaise!"
I tried to form words, but all that escaped my lips was a groan.
Two arms looped under my armpits, half-dragging and half-carrying me into the back of the ambulance truck. I tried to get my feet underneath me, but my balance was horrible to say the least.
My body was thrust onto a metal bench, the cool touch of the surface perking up my senses a little. I fully opened my eyes for the first time since the Voultron wolf clawed me. Stiles' worried face loomed over me, his beautiful eyes scanning for the source of my pain.
"Blaise, what happened?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
"Help me sit up," I said, but it came out more like "hell m' stup."
He seemed to understand my slurred language, taking my shoulders and swinging my legs over the side of the ledge, propping me upright. His eyes traveled from mine down to where my white shirt was smeared with blood.
"Oh my - Blaise." He tilted my head up to look at him. "Blaise. You have to tell me what happened."
I slowly blinked, trying to make sense of his rambling. My brain was moving quite slow at the moment, and it didn't help that Stiles was in panic mode.
Glancing behind him, I caught sight of an unconscious Cora. "Is she all right?" I asked, my body slightly swaying to the side.
Stiles caught me before I fell. "Blaise. Look at me," he said, a serious note to his voice. "What. Happened."
His dark eyes mesmerized me for a moment, entranced by their beauty. This may be the last time I ever saw them...
"The twins," I managed, silent tears slipping down my cheeks. I looked away from his eyes, not able to look at him as I spoke slowly. "The mistletoe...won't allow me to heal." I closed my eyes tight, squeezing the remaining tears out of my eyes. They spilled over pathetically. "I'm dying."
I didn't know what Stiles' response was because I wasn't looking at him. He was just silent for a moment, taking in my words. While he was quiet, I took a personal inventory of myself. I've lost a lot of blood, my wound was deep, I wasn't healing, and I didn't know if the Burning would be able to bring me back.
"All right," Stiles finally said, "okay. I'm going to stitch you up. There has to be some bandages in here, yeah?" He moved away from me, taking his hands from my shoulders. "I always have a Plan B, right? That's my job. To be the backup."
I listened as he started to rustle through the shelves of the ambulance, closing my eyes slightly.
The pain has gone on for so long that it was just a dull ache, almost nonexistent. And now that I was thinking about it, the thought of death didn't really scare me anymore. Maybe I was truly going to be taken from this world this time. The Universe may not need me anymore.
But now I understood why I shouldn't have gotten attached to anyone.
There were too many people I loved, too many people I didn't want to leave behind. I would be alone in Bardo, stuck there forever, waiting for Death to greet me as I entered Hell.
I would be there forever, nonexistent as I watched the people I loved too much live out the rest of their lives without me. I would watch helplessly as they went through their struggles, not being able to say or do anything to comfort them.
That was my eternal suffering; the true curse of the Shadow Phoenix.
Suddenly, I was jolted out of my dreary thoughts.
"Blaise!" someone shouted. "No, no, Blaise, you have to wake up. You can't - you have to...please, Blaise."
I opened my eyes to see I was laying down on the bench again, Stiles' hands pumping my chest up and down as he muttered to himself. "Wake up. Please wake up."
"Stiles," I choked out, just loud enough for him to hear me.
Once his eyes met mine, his face relaxed. "Oh my God," he said, breathless. He ran his hands through his hair, even though they were smeared with my blood.
I lifted my head just enough to see that Stiles had sewed up my wounds. He didn't do the greatest job, but it was something. Honestly, I was surprised he could stand just looking at my wounds. He was so squeamish most of the time.
I suppose anyone would do anything for the person they loved.
"Blaise, don't ever do that to me again," Stiles said, brushing his trembling fingers over my face.
"What?" I asked, my voice slurring slightly.
"Leave me." He cocked an eyebrow, holding onto my hand for dear life. "You can't leave me. Okay?"
I nodded, still a bit dazed by the whole situation. "Okay." After a moment, I scrunched my eyebrows together, deep in thought. "I'm sorry, Stiles."
He shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "Why the hell are you sorry?"
"I thought I was strong enough," I murmured. My chest felt heavy as I realized something that Stiles had been trying to tell me all along, "I thought I was strong enough to beat them, but I wasn't. I am weak." My eyes watered again. It was pathetic, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't the best at letting my heart out, even if it was to Stiles.
"I'm weak and I let people die. I let Boyd die, I let Castor die, and I'm letting Cora die...and I don't even know where to start looking for your father." I shook my head. "Stiles, the person I used to be is dead. The person that was worth saving is gone. Now I'm just a Phoenix that causes too much death."
Stiles squeezed my limp hand, his dark eyes filled with pain. "Maybe you just need to remember who you used to be."
I felt a little déjà vu, my mind remembering the hallucinations I experienced back at Motel Glen Capri. Arro, my Old Russian price, had come to me in the form of a ghost and said the exact same thing.
Maybe I did believe in doppelgängers.
Stiles was the one to break the silence. "Just hold on a little longer, okay?" He helped me sit up, even though when I moved, every little muscle screamed at me. A soft groan slipped from my lips. "Sorry," he muttered, "sorry sorry sorry."
I leaned my head against the wall. "'s fine, Stiles," I assured.
His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you going to be okay? Be honest with me."
I looked down at my bloodied shirt, lifting it slightly to look at my new stitches once again. It had stopped the bleeding, that was for sure, but my body was still aching and weak.
And I doubted that Jennifer was still letting me feed off her power.
"I don't know," I replied, looking back up at Stiles. "But if I don't make it tonight, your face is the last one I want to see." I placed a hand on his cheek, though it was shaking uncontrollably from the emotions running through me. "You got that?"
Stiles leaned his cheek into my hand, closing his eyes. "Yeah."
I bit my lip, watching him react to my touch like it was the only thing he ever wanted to feel. "I love you," I murmured.
I didn't think he heard me.
I was content with just saying the words though, because I didn't need him to say it back. I was simply saying them to the Universe, hoping it would hear me and let me live through the night so I could stay with the ones I loved.
But I'm not sure the Universe ever hears me.
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this made me emotional lol why do i do this to myself #bileeeeeessssssssssssssUGH
beautiful readers!!!!! burned has reached 32k reads!!! OH MY GOODNESS RIGHT?!?!?!!?
for that, i have you guys to thank. so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
honestly i only started writing to let out my emotions and feelings. i try to relate blaise's character to myself and how i would react to certain situations, so if you want to get to know me, just read about blaise! haha
again --- thank you so much for all the reads and votes and support. special shoutout to @-lookingforalaska and @karjo2 for being my biggest supporters...love y'all <3
don't worry, blaise isn't over yet. just wait till 3b.
comment, vote, everything :)
-kati