X • Incubi • Nightmares
I woke up covered in sweat, my heart pounding. I buried my face in my hands with a sigh. The nightmares were vivid, so realistic that it was hard to believe that they really were nightmares. The way the wind whistled through the open door, the crimson blood on the wolf's muzzle, the smell of blood in the air-
"Oh my God," I mumbled to myself, knotting my fingers in my hair. Usually, I forgot the nightmares, but ones like this always stayed. The graphic ones that felt too real and put me right back in time, back to that night when I was so helpless.
I climbed out of bed and checked the clock, seeing that it was the middle of the night. There was no way I was going back to sleep, not after what I had already dreamed. I had expected nightmares after the Boggart but I was hopeful that they wouldn't be all that bad.
With a sigh, I dragged myself into the bathroom and splashed my face with frigid water, gasping at the shock. I dried my face and returned to my bedroom, lighting a candle and setting it on my desk.
If I couldn't sleep, I would at least do something productive. I pulled out one of my many books in Latin and held it close to the candlelight, whispering the words to myself as I read.
***
"Goodmorning," I mumbled tiredly as I entered Professor Lupin's classroom.
"Goodmorning, Miss Y/L/N," he said, not looking up at me from his desk. "I asked around and found a spare desk for you so that we don't have to share one anymore." He inclined his head toward a smaller wooden desk, which had a mismatched chair pushed up behind it.
"I don't know if I should be grateful or offended," I said and approached the desk, dropping my bag beside it.
"Thankful, I'd hope," he said. "Feel free to make it your own. Then you won't have to carry your bag around anymore."
"Thanks," I said with a small frown. "So, is this the way things are going to be now?"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"You haven't even looked at me since I've arrived. I understand if you don't want much to do with me, but I didn't think it was going to be this excessive," I said.
"It wasn't intentional," he said, looking up at me momentarily. "I was busy grading."
"Never have you spoken to me without making eye contact," I said. "I seem to recall you taking issue with my lack of eye contact."
Lupin sighed, pressing his fingers into his temples. "What exactly do you want from me, Miss Y/L/N?"
"I want you to be mature about this. You were the one who decided this was how things had to be, so you should be the one being mature," I said, sitting down at my desk and pulling out my things from my bag. The chair creaked.
"I see," he said. "I apologize."
I shook my head and scoffed, opening my textbook.
"Ah, now that's mature," he commented stiffly.
"Excuse me?"
"Scoffing like a temperamental teenager," he said. "That's really just the height of maturity."
"And the petty comments? Can I just compliment that? Because that is certainly mature."
"I'm sure," he said snippily, shooting me a sharp look. "Merlin, did you even sleep last night? You look exhausted."
"Why would you care?" I asked, meeting his gaze challengingly. "Don't get too invested, Professor. It could be bad for the kids."
"Miss Y/L/N, please be reasonable."
"I am," I said and looked away, uncomfortable under the weight of his stare. "And for your information, no, I didn't get any sleep last night. It happens to the best of us."
"I'd like to be civil," he said slowly, "and I understand why you're upset with me. But I do care about you and-"
"Please spare the sentiment. I'll be civil so long as you stop bringing your feelings into this. I don't need you to care for me. I need you to work with me and not be so... so awkward about what happened. All I meant about maturity was that you chose to end things, so you shouldn't be the one feeling awkward. You weren't the one who was rejected."
"It wasn't rejection," he said, a crease forming between his eyebrows.
"Wasn't it?"
"It wasn't meant like that," he said.
"It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be uncomfortable for the entire year."
"Neither do I."
"Okay, so let's just try to be normal," I said.
"Okay," he said.
"Can I help you with grading?" I asked after a moment of silence.
"Sure," he said, halving the stack of papers on his desk. I stood and took them, bringing them back over to my desk, frowning as I sat down on the creaky chair. I was unaccustomed to having so much room to spread the papers out. I wasn't sure if I liked it.
An awkward, heavy silence filled the room as we graded. I missed the pleasant conversation that I had taken for granted, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. The urge to speak was smothered under a thick sheet of anxiety, hanging heavy in my throat as the silence thickened.
When the classroom door opened, I perked up in my seat, but it was only Hermione, not an actual class.
"Hermione," Professor Lupin greeted.
"Hello, Professor," she said, glancing at me with a smile and a small wave. I smiled back. "I did some of the extra-credit assignments and I was hoping I could hand them in early."
"Of course," he said, accepting a small pile of papers that she produced from her bag. "This is quite the pile," he said.
"Well, there was a lot to be said," Hermione responded with a smile.
"Thank you, Hermione. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, that's all. I'll see you on Monday, Professor."
"Yes, thank you, Hermione," he said and added the pile of papers to his stack.
As she left, he leafed through the stack of papers she had delivered, blowing his cheeks out as he noticed how long it was.
I stood and gathered the pile from my desk and approached his desk.
"How about I grade that and you try to work your way through Goyle's half a page of nonsense," I said, holding the paper out to him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I rather like reading Hermione's papers," I said. He took Goyle's paper and handed me Hermione's. "And I believe I'll grade in my own room, if you don't mind. I'll be back after lunch for class."
"Oh, uh, sure," he said. "Is there something wrong with the desk?"
"No, it's fine, thank you, Professor."
"Remus," he said. "You may call me Remus, if you'd like to."
"I'd rather not," I said, "but I appreciate the gesture."
When I was back in my room, I read through Hermione's report on Boggarts, impressed at the amount of detail that went into her writing. She was a gifted writer, her descriptions vivid and her tone concise, yet engaging.
I decided not to write directly on her report, but added a paper on the top of the stack with a note, complimenting her writing and her research, making sure to draw a smiley face on the top of the paper.
I then worked my way through the rest of the grading, keeping a close eye on the clock. After lunchtime, I returned to Lupin's room with a considerably smaller pile of ungraded work.
As he lectured, I transferred the grades into his grade book and organized the pile by grade. He only needed assistance a couple of times until he split the class into two groups, and then I led half of the class through a discussion as he did the same on the other side of the room with a silencing charm muffling the two separate conversations. It was wholly unnecessary, but considerate nonetheless as it gave me an opportunity to instruct, which I hadn't yet gotten.
The class regrouped after about twenty minutes while he assigned a homework assignment. He then dismissed the class.
"Thank you for your help," he said.
"Thank you for making it interesting for me," I said and took a seat at my desk.
I began to grade the dwindling pile of papers, feeling my eyes growing heavier as time passed.
I didn't remember falling asleep, but I woke up with a start to a thump.
"Ah, did I wake you?"
"Merlin, did I fall asleep?" I asked.
"I believe you did," Lupin said, leaning against his desk and watching me.
"I'm sorry," I said and rubbed my eyes with a yawn. "I didn't mean to."
"It's alright," he said. "There were no more classes so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let you sleep."
"What time is it?"
"Seven."
"Merlin," I muttered, burying my face in my hands. I had slept for about four hours, from what I could gather. And despite it all, all I wanted was to fall back asleep.
"You should go back to your room and get some rest. You seem to need it," he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me with a small smile pulling at his lips.
"I hope I didn't keep you from getting things done," I said sheepishly, gathering my things.
"No, you didn't prove to be too much of a disturbance, although your snoring was a bit distracting at times."
I looked at him, mortified.
"I'm only joking, Miss Y/L/N. You're as quiet and graceful in sleep as you are awake," he said.
"I'm really sorry," I said. "I didn't finish all of the grading. But I'll get them done tomorrow."
"Whenever you get to it is fine."
"Thank you," I said and smiled, gathering the papers and tucking them into my bag. "Goodnight, Professor."
"And," he said, stopping me in my tracks, "I got you some dinner since I figured you would sleep through it." From off his desk, he handed me a covered plate. "I'll see you soon, Miss Y/L/N. Try to get some rest before Monday."
"Thank you, I will."
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