I wake up and see a message from Ryujin asking what happened last night then I see another message from an unknown person. Being the curious kitty that I am, I open it. It's from someone with name of liayah saying that I stole her girlfriend.
I ignore it thinking it must be a wrong send but it's kik and they have to know your username to message you so instead I reply to ask what she's talking about.
kitty_purrfect: I didn't steal your girlfriend. I'm not even into girls
liayah: who are you lying to? I know everything. I've seen your messages. How do you think I got your user for this app
kitty_purrfect: I don't know what you're talking about it. Who's your girlfriend?
liayah: It's Ryujin. Are you dumb? Are you just playing with her?
Ryujin is a girl? I don't reply because I'm too shocked. Ryujin is a not girl. He wouldn't lie to me. I take a screenshot of my conversation with I'm assuming is Lia and send it to Ryujin.
I quickly get off the bed, thankfully Dana is not home because Ryujin calls me right away after seeing the message.
"What's this Ryujin? Are you really a girl?" I ask.
"I'm sorry" he says or should I say she.
"You lied to me? Why would you do that? I trusted you!" I say, angry now.
"I'm sorry, Yeji. You don't like gay people. I didn't want to lose you" She says and I can hear her start crying now.
"I didn't want to lie to you. I wanted to tell you the truth when I found out you assumed I was a guy but then you said you would stop talking to me if I was gay. I'm so sorry" she tries to explain.
"That's not an excuse to lie to me! I fell for you! I trusted you! What else did you lie about? Do you really have a nephew or is that another ploy so I would think you're good with kids huh?"
"I do have a nephew. I didn't lie about anything else. Everything I shared with you is real and true. My feelings for you, how I want you, how I want to spend my life with you, how I want to be there for you and Eva. They're all true. I only lied about my gender."
"I can't believe you. I wanted a life with you too. Raise kids with you. Be a family. I was willing to move countries for you!" I say now crying too.
"We can still have that Yeji. Don't throw this away because I'm a girl. Every feeling we felt for each other is real. Please. I know I hurt you and I can give you space but please just don't leave me" she begs.
I cry even harder, "I'm not gay, Ryujin. I can't be with you. You're the third gay person now that has hurt me. I guess me not liking gay people is valid now."
"So it doesn't matter if you feel something for me? You're just gonna leave me?" She ask.
"My feelings for you were based off a lie!" I yell.
"Then let's start over. Get to know each other. Get to know me as another female" Ryujin suggests.
"I can't. I can't look past what you did. I'm always gonna wonder if you're telling me the truth. I don't trust you."
"What can I do to fix this? For you to give us a chance?" She ask.
"Leave me alone. Don't talk to me again. If you really care about me then respect my wish" I say to her.
"So this is goodbye?" She ask.
"Yea. Forget me because I will forget you. I hate you for lying to me and for breaking my heart."
"I'm sorry Yeji. I'm so sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you."
"Bullshit! You had time to tell me! You shouldn't have let me fall for you since you lied from the beginning! We talked on the phone, video chatted, I let you talk to my daughter! You chose not to tell me! I don't care if you were scared I would stop talking to you. What you did was selfish! Being afraid to tell me in the beginning might be understandable but every day after that was your choice to not say the truth" I snap.
She's quiet now. I'm too angry. I want to hurt her the way she hurt me. I want her to feel the pain she caused me.
"You really hurt me Ryujin. You ripped out my heart and stomped on it. After this phone call, I'm blocking you from everything so don't bother trying to contact me."
I hear her cry even harder. I want to tell her it's okay. I still care about her. She still helped me a lot but I'm too angry at her to see the good she did for me. All my head is saying is that she's a liar.
"Goodbye Ryujin. Thank you for everything but I don't think I can forgive you."
"I was okay with just being friends with you. I was okay with hiding I was starting to like you. I was happy with just that because you had a boyfriend. I didn't try to make you fall for me. It's something that just happened" she says.
"I liked you when i thought you were a guy. It doesn't matter to me that everything else you said was true. You still lied about something big!" I spit out feeling so angry at her.
She didn't say anything. I just continue hearing her cry. I hang up the phone and let all my tears out. I block her from everything. I cry for a little bit more but I had to stop and pretend I'm okay. I still have to take care of Eva.
I guess I'm stuck with Dana. For some reason, I wanted to send Lia one last text.
kitty_purrfect: she's all yours now. I want nothing to do with her
liayah: that was easy
I honestly feel like I hate her. I couldn't believe she was asking me to give us a chance.
All day, I would find ways to distract myself. Take short breaks to cry then continue with my routine so Dana won't suspect anything.
When Dana came from home work, he's been so clingy to me but I just let him. Maybe I can learn to love him again. Even if I feel like I still have feelings for Ryujin after knowing she's a woman, we still won't work out. My family probably wouldn't approve.
I decided to sleep back in Dana's room. Trying to go back to normal like from before I met Ryujin. She's mainly the reason why I noticed the changes with my feelings to Dana but it doesn't matter now. I need to move on.