{Zayn's POV}
"It's about your wife, Perrie," Angela tells me and I nod my head, although she can't see me. I feel my body starting to shut down, immediately thinking the worst. Angela's next words are the words that break me. "I'm sorry to call you out at this time of the night, but I thought you might want to come to the hospital." Angela suggests.
"Wh- why?" I respond. Are they getting me to come and see her before they give her life away peacefully. I'm not giving them consent to do that! But what if it's for the best? I can't let go just yet! I cannot let them take my wife, or my children's mother. My family.
"Mr Malik?" I hear Angela's voice question.
"Pardon, what?" I ask, realising I completely ignored what she just said before. Do I even want to know what she said? It can't be good... nothing has been good.
"Perrie, she's awake." And just like that, my world stopped spinning. I can literally feel my heart beating out of my chest. I start breathing like there's no tomorrow and notice everyone giving me seriously confused looks.
"She's wh- what?" I start to shake, my voice cracking and my eyes swelling like a bath filling with water, soon to overflow and flood the whole damned placed.
"Perrie's awake," Angela repeats. "I guess I'll see you soon," she adds before the line goes dead. I let out another deep breath and shove my phone into my back pocket, missing the hole a few times because of the amount of shaking happening throughout my body.
I look up at the people at the table again. The girls are all looking at me, panic spread across their faces, tears swelling in their eyes. The boys are all wide- eyed and standing up, their knuckles white from their grips on the chairs. My Mum is giving me a panicked, heart broken look. Zuri and Asha are giving me confused looks, Rosie and Lillie are just watching absentmindedly and Ellie... well she's still eating.
"Zayn, what's wrong?" Leigh- Anne asks, her voice breaking a little from the nerves. I go to speak but nothing comes out. My whole body is too shocked to actually comprehend what I've just been told.
My eyes wander back to Ellie, Lillie and Rosie and I look at them, just sitting there. My hands shakily rise to my face and I use the sleeves of my jumper to wipe away my tears and try to knock some sense and feeling back into my face. Perrie is awake. She isn't in a coma. Perrie's awake. Perrie. Awake.
"Perrie," I manage to get out and I watch a tear silently roll down Jade's face. They all give me questioning looks as I force the next words out, not believing I'm actually saying this. "Awake. Perrie's awake," I choke out.
The screeching sound of chairs against wood is sounded throughout the room as everyone shoots up out of their seats.
I just watch as coats are grabbed rapidly and shoes are pulled back on. Ellie comes over to me and I squat down to her height, holding back my tears and letting out a cough to clear my dry throat.
"Can we go and see Mummy?" Ellie asks me. I nod my head and scoop her up, my long arms holding her close to my cold body as I watch Louis grab Rosie and Mum grab Lillie.
Everyone rushes out to their cars, but I just walk, still trying to process the actual reason we're going back to the overly cleaned building.
I strap my daughters in and Mum decides to go with Louis. I push the keys into the ignition and place the gear into drive, but not actually moving. I wait for the others to leave the driveway and then drive out, followed by Liam who had to lock up his home.
The whole drive to the hospital is silent, only sounds coming from Lillie and Rosie to be heard. I find a spot in the hospital car park and meet everyone at the doors to the hospital.
Mum takes Lillie and Rosie from me and then they all head in the doors, slow steps masking our trail towards the desk.
Once we're granted acceptance to go and see Perrie, the others rush ahead, but I feel my feet only taking me at a certain pace.
I feel a small hand entwine with mine and look down to see Ellie looking back up at me, a toothless smile giving me a little more hope about this.
We all stop outside Perrie's door and I watch everyone turn around to face me. I can't do this. I want this so bad but I'm not strong enough for it. But for Ellie, Lillie and Rosie, I can be. I have to be. I want to be.
We all walk into the room and Ellie goes and stands behind Louis' legs whilst I stand towards the back of our crowd, but still so I can see Perrie.
Perrie who is looking at the ceiling and hasn't noticed us yet. I watch as she puffs her cheeks in and out, sitting up straight in her bed as she is obviously bored.
Liam coughs and Perrie's head shoots back down to its straight ahead position, her bright blue eyes looking at us all, not one emotion on her face. oh fuck no...
{Perrie's POV}
(The parts in italics are Perrie's flashbacks.)
I look at them all standing there, all just looking at me intently, waiting for me to say or do something otherwise they will. I look down at Ellie as she hides behind Louis' legs. I notice the blue cast on her her arm but apart from that, Ellie is okay- thank The Lord.
In that moment, that the other car hit mine, I know I was knocked out cold immediately. But I did see the car in a flash second and the last thing I heard was Ellie. As soon as I woke up my mind immediately went to Ellie and I was nagging the nurse about her. Angela told me that she was fine and only suffered a broken arm. Angela also told me how cheery and excitable she is and all the other nurses and women were swooning over her and the twins.
Jade walks over and stands next to me. Can I be really, really mean? I've been told that they suspected possible amnesia from me, because the doctor keeps nagging about if I remember things...
"P- Per," Jade stutters and I just look at her blankly. Jade goes to hug me but I back away, making her stand straight up again. I try not to give in at the sad look on her face. I kind of am being really mean but I just want to see how she reacts. "Perrie, I'm Jade, remember?" Jade asks me quietly, her voice cracking a little.
"No." I shake my head, trying so hard not to smile. I bite down on my bottom lip so I don't smile and I can see Louis' giving me a 'seriously' look out of the corner of my eye. He knows I'm just mucking around with Jade.
"No! You're not allowed to have amnesia! No!" Jade exclaims and Jesy goes to rush over to Jade but Louis' arm flies out and stops her. Louis looks at me, a smile playing on his lips. I smile back and then watch Jesy's jaw drop and she starts to laugh. "Wh- what?" Jade asks and I look back at her.
"Jade, I know who you are," I tell her and her eyes grow wide as she starts to cry. I smile at her and Jade's arm whacks across my shoulder, I wince a little from the pain- just cause nothings broken doesn't mean it's not sore!
"Bitch," Jade mutters before pulling me into a tight hug. I hug her back, trying to release some of the pressure on my aching body. I feel Jade's body shaking through the hug as she sobs, her breathing coming out in small fragments as she cries.
"Thank the heavens you're awake," Jade says through the tears. "I love you," her restricted voice whispers in my ear. I hug her in return and tell her I love her too.
I've only been in a coma for six days, not even a week- which is rare- and still they all look like absolute wrecks. I know I shouldn't say that, but I'm the one trapped in a hospital bed and had an oxygen tube threaded through my nose when I woke up... I'm just happy to see them all again.
After Jade came Niall, Ella, Asha, Danielle, Liam, Zuri, Tricia, Jordan and Jordan, Jesy and Leigh- Anne- who we're full on bawling, Harry- who I'm still pissed as hell with for what he's done, but he told me he's fixing it- and now Louis is making his way over, holding Lillie and Rosie.
I look at the water in Louis' eyes and feel my heart aching a little. I know things aren't good for Louis at the moment, and he's like my brother, so me being out cold probably wasn't helping.
Lillie starts squealing and Rosie gurgles excitedly as Louis lowers them down to me. I take Lillie to my arms as she kicks her legs around and giggles happily, her small hand slapping against my face. I smile and place a gentle kiss upon Lillie's cheek whilst Rosie scrambles off down to the other end of the bed. Wow, thanks Bab- WAIT!
"She's crawling!" I exclaim at Louis and he nods his head, wiping his eyes.
"Yeah, and so's Lillie," Louis replies. I missed it, but that doesn't make me any less proud. So much can happen in a week and it's truly incredible how much has happened. Louis scoops up Rosie and holds her whilst he rests his knee against the bed, leaning in close to me and kissing my forehead firmly.
"She's gone, hasn't she?" I whisper to Louis and he nods his head as tears stream down his cheeks. Louis engulfs me in a hug and I hug him back as best as I can with Lillie in my arms. "It's okay, it'll be okay." I whisper again and Louis nods his head.
"You don't know how happy I am, to see you awake and alive," Louis mumbles in response. "I love you so much, Little Boo," Louis presses another kiss to my forehead and then takes both the twins walking off. I look down at the blue blanket on my bed and take in a deep breath.
Can we really convince ourselves? I mean, we can convince other people that it's going to be okay, but do we ever really know ourselves that things will be okay?
"Mummy," Ellie's voice breaks me out of a trance and I look down to the right of my bed where Ellie is standing, her left arm with the little blue cast wrapped around it, Duckie being clutched against her chest with her right arm. "Mummy," Ellie lets out a cry and I bend over, grabbing her up and holding her on my lap.
Ellie immediately wraps her little legs around my waist and grabs at my hospital gown, holding on tight as she buries her head into my chest. I rest my chin against her curly hair and close my eyes, holding back my own tears as Ellie cries into my chest.
I nearly lost it. I nearly lost them all. Every single one of them. My friends, my family, my husband, my gorgeous daughters. I should've seen that car. Ellie could've lost her life. If I hadn't have done up her seatbelt in time...
Ellie pulls back and I look down into her little face and I can see Lillie and Rosie in the background, not a care in the world. Ellie's eyelashes are coated in tears and her cheeks are flushed red.
"Hey, Baba, don't cry," I say to her and place a gentle kiss upon her forehead, letting it linger there a little bit longer. Ellie's forehead rests against mine and I look into her bright blue eyes as she looks right back, her little nose sniffling. "I'm sorry," I whisper to her.
"No," Ellie shakes her head. "It don't matter. I love you, Mummy."
I feel my eyes stinging and a small tear trickles down my cheek, only one tear. One tear of happiness and joy. Being a Mum is something I cannot put into words. It might be tiring, challenging, nothing I ever expected, but the day I found out I was pregnant with Ellie, I have never looked back.
I would jump in front of a bus for them. Lillie, Ellie and Rosie are my world. It is truly inspiring, being a mother. I will be forever grateful for the gift of children. They mean more than the world.
"I love you too," I reply to Ellie and she shuffles back on my shins as Ella walks over again, looking confused. "What?" I ask Ella, now getting worried by her facial expressions.
"Okay! It just doesn't make sense!" Ella shakes her head looking at the clipboard that was attatched to the end of my bed and then at me. "I know miracles happen, but someone who gets full on hit by another bloody car doesn't just come out like you have!" Ella exclaims, more flustered with herself than anyone else.
"I mean! I've worked in the A&E for years and not once has this happened! There has to be something wrong!" Ella shakes her head, her eyes wide open as she looks at me, absolutely in shock.
"Ella! Stop being a freak!" Jesy laughs at her and so do the others. I laugh too and Ella looks at my legs, her mouth suddenly turning upwards into a smile.
"Can I feel you?" Ella asks and the others laugh again as Ella realises how that sounded. "I mean, can I, like, you know?" Ella nods at my body. I nod my head and Ella walks forwards, handing Ellie over to Jesy and then pulling back the covers, revealing my pale legs.
Ella starts at my toes and bends them back and forth, moving up and prodding at my legs. When she gets to my stomach Ella stops and looks me in the eyes. I can see the fear in her eyes and I look back, knowing what the next question is going to be.
"Truthfully, where does the feeling stop?" Ella asks me, looking worried.
"Above my knees to my hips, it's numb," I reply to Ella and hear Jade make some noise in distress. I'm sure it's nothing! The rest of my body is fine, I just cannot feel my upper legs and my back is aching.
"Is that bad?" Leigh's voice comes out panicked and weak. I look at Ella and she shakes her head. "How can having no feeling in her legs be good?" Leigh squeaks and I try not to laugh at how funny that sounded. But, Leigh- Anne does have a point. I don't think having any feeling in your upper legs is good.
"It'll be fine," Ella replies to Leigh- Anne. "Per, let's just move you forward a bit," Ella says and I move forwards with some of her help. Ella lifts up the back of my light blue hospital gown and then starts pressing around on my back, starting at the top and then moving down.
I let out a whimper sound as Ella presses in the middle of my lower back, where my spine is. Ella lets out a small laugh and then leaves me alone, stepping back and helping me back to my original position.
"Right, you have a lump on your lower spine, which indicates there's something wrong with your spinal discs," Ella tells me. I'm not going to be paralysed am I? I give Ella a worried look but she's smiling. "Don't worry, it's probably just a herniated disc. Depending on how bad it is, you most likely won't need surgery and it will just require exercises for a couple of weeks to heal it."
I let out a sigh in relief and so do most of the others. "As for the leg numbness, once you're out of the bed and your blood starts pumping again, you'll be fine," Ella smiles and writes it down onto the clipboard. I don't understand how doctors just do that?! Like what the hell?
"I'm going to go and book a MRI for you!" Ella smiles and then heads out of the room. Right then. I look back at the others and they all smile back and Leigh stops hyperventilating...
"We're just, gonna, go and you know, dissapear," Jesy nods at the door and all of them scurry out of the room. I just watch the door close behind the group of them, unsure of what just happened? What was that about?
I turn my head back straight ahead and it suddenly clicks why they all left, well, all but one of them left. My eyes connect with the hazel coloured eyes ahead of me, eyes duller than normal. My heart feels like it's moving faster and I feel my eyes starting to tear up.
I open my mouth and let out a deep breath as my body starts shaking. Everything, I nearly lost it all. Including Zayn. After everything we've been through, every moment, every kiss, every fight, every tear, every smile, every rumor, fucking everything! And all of it was almost taken from me.
I throw my blankets off me as he stands still, his own body shaking as he tries to speak but nothing comes out. I use my arms to push my legs over the left side of the bed and then I grip at the edges, lowering my feet onto the cool, tiled ground.
My fingers still grip at the sheets as my upper legs feel as if they're going to give way. I try to take a step forwards but shake too much and stumble. In a panic I push forwards the next leg and take a step, closing my eyes and expecting to fall onto the ground, except I crash into something before hands.
I grip onto it and realise my fingers are holding onto cotton and I have arms holding my lower back gently. I look up and open my eyes, meeting the hazel set belonging to Zayn again. I pull my body up straight and my legs start to feel a bit stronger. Zayn's fingers gently rub my lower back, being careful of my 'herniated disc' or whatever.
"Thanks," I whisper and then rest my forehead against his firm chest. I close my eyes and can feel his chest coming in and out as he breathes, a small thumping noise present from inside his chest. A calming heart beat that has always been a was of calming me down.
I feel Zayn rest his chin upon my head as my arms wrap around his waist, hugging him tightly, not wanting to ever let go.
"Happy Birthday," I add in and look up at him as he releases a small chuckle. We both just look at each other in silence and I watch as he starts to full on cry, his eylids closing as the tears continue to soak his cheeks. I start to cry myself, silently as we both just stand there, not wanting to let go.
"I'm so sorry," Zayn's cracked voice speaks. "I love you so much, so, so much. I love you, I love you, I love you," he looks back into my eyes again as he continues to cry, his voice all broken and strained. "I should've told you, I love you, you know that, I always wil, I love you so much," Zayn tells me and I nod my head, not quite understand why he's sorry but still agreeing that I know.
I rest my head aginst his chest, his body heat providing warmnth to my cold body. After all these years my words have never been so truthful. I close my eyes as memories of us over the past four years flood through my mind, like a picture book that will be never ending.
....
"Do you, Perrie Louise Edwards take Zayn Javaad Malik to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death do tear you apart?" The priest asks me and I feel my heart almost beating out of my chest. There is no doubts behind my answer.
"I do." I reply, looking into Zayn's shining eyes and smiling out of utter happiness.
"Do you, Zayn Javaad Malik take Perrie Louise Edwards to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death do tear thee apart?" The priest asks Zayn and I watch Zayn nod his head slightly.
"I do." Zayn replies and I feel my heart about to explode. Within about five seconds we will be married, and I'm more than freaking out.
"I now pronounce you husband, and wife," the priest smiles, closing his book. Those words. Nothing more incredible in this moment than that. "You may now kiss the bride," the priest says. Zayn smiles and places his hands on my lower back, sending tingling feelings through my skin. Our lips touch and I feel more than energised. Everything inside me feels electric and so hot that they're sure to melt. We're married. Husband, and wife.
....
"So what's wrong?" I ask. Dr. Erica smiles and pulls out something that makes me stare in shock. Liam is in shock too. Oh no! No, no, no! This cannot be right! That has to be the wrong test to perform! I swallow deeply as I look down at the pregnancy stick before me.
"Wh- what does two lines mean?" Liam asks pointing at the two little pink lines. I'm pretty sure I know what that means and I'm about to fucking piss myself.
"You're pregnant, Perrie." Dr. Erica says.
....
"I hate you." I tell him. "I really hate you." I say through gritted teeth to Zayn. He just nods his head smiling a little as Dr. Erica laughs. The amount of pain I'm in is probably why I just said that. I don't really hate him, I'm just happy he's here.
I turn to face Zayn who's already looking at me. "I'm scared." I mutter to him. He kisses my forehead to try and calm me down.
"It's okay Boo. I'm right here." He smiles and I nod my head, squeezing his hand from another f**king contraction. I groan in pain and Dr. Erica checks how it's all going. I just want the pain to stop, oh my goodness.
"Ten centimetres. Next time you're going to have to push Perrie." She tells me. I nod and Zayn kisses my hand. Since the day Liam and I found out I've been dreading this and now it's happening but if I think about the outcome from this it will make it easier, hopefully...
My next contraction comes and Dr. Erica yells 'push'. I cry out in pain and squeeze Zayn's hand so hard my own hand starts to hurt.
"Head." Dr. Erica tells us. F**king hell baby get out! "And...." Dr. Erica says. Suddenly there's no more pain and there's a baby's screech. Oh my goodness! My heart melts at the sound that our baby is alive. "It's a girl!" Dr. Erica holds her up a little so we can see.
Zayn lets out a laugh in relief and I take a deep breath out.
"A girl." I turn and smile at Zayn. He chuckles and places a rough sort of kiss on my forehead. They cut the chord and the midwife goes to make sure she's okay and cleans her up a bit for us. I watch them as our little girl stops crying.
Dr. Erica brings our daughter over. "Congratulations! She's all good and you did fantastically." Dr. Erica places the tiny baby into my arms. Oh my goodness she's so light and beautiful. I cradle her so she's facing Zayn as well.
I feel tears run down my cheeks and turn my head to look at Zayn. Zayn's crying too and he wipes his eyes before looking up at me, smiles and then looks back at our baby girl. She's so light and beautiful and, I can't actually believe this.
"A beautiful little girl." Zayn runs his pointer finger gently down her tiny cheek. I look at her beautiful little face. She has some hair that's Zayn's colour, his skin tone, a tiny little nose and my head shape.
She makes a funny noise and then blinks a few times before revealing her eyes. I look at her in shock and Zayn smiles. Big, bright blue eyes. She looks into my eyes and I smile at how beautiful she is.
"Got your eyes Pep." Zayn chuckles. I look across at him and he is smiling at me. "Congratulations Boo." He says before moving so our lips are touching. Fireworks and butterflies inside me right now. Fireworks from Zayn, butterflies from our daughter. Our Daughter.... that's special.
"Congratulations." I reply to Zayn once we've parted. "Want to hold her?" I ask him. He nods immediately and I carfeully pass our baby girl over to him. He stands up and cradels her gently in his arms. They display the cutest thing together! I think, actually I know I've just fallen deeper in love with him, if that's possible....?
....
"What's up Pep?" He asks smiling. I doubt you'll be smiling in a minute lad... "Perrie?" He asks, probably noticing the fear in my face. I really don't want to tell him this, but I have to.
"There is nothing right about what I'm about to tell you. Nothing deflects on you because you are just amazing and I love you so much-"
"I love you too." He smiles. Hmmm.... we'll see about that in a minute love.
"This is going to hurt, it's really going to hurt because it matters so much to both of us and the other person but I sware I feel like going into a hole and dying because I know I've hurt the only man I've ever loved Zayn." I nod at him. His face drops and he looks confused.
"Perrie?" He asks worried. I feel so sick but here it goes...
"Harry and kissed." I say it as calm as I can but it comes out rushed and stressed. Zayn's face suddenly turns to hurt and sadness. I watch his eyes fill with tears. No! Mine start to fill with tears and he nods his head.
"Why?" He asks obviously really upset. "When? How?" He demands. I'm a f**king stuff up! He doesn't deserve this at all.
"Two nights ago. He was making sure I was okay after Dan tried to strangle me and I don't know, one second he was kissing my cheek, the next my lips." I explain.
"He kissed you?" Zayn asks, gritted teeth. No Zayn! I start to move slightly so I'm blocking the door. Zayn turns and doesn't realise what I'm doing. I know Harry is out there and I really do care about him as a friend so that means I'm not letting my muck up get him hurt.
"No Zayn. We kissed each other. It takes two to share a kiss."
....
As Ed starts to play Lego House, Ellie squeals out Dadda as she looks behind me. I turn around and Zayn is standing there. He rubs Ellie's head and looks at me. This is closest we've been in over a week. Even in bed we seem miles apart.
"Hi." I say to him.
"Hello." He replies and we stand in awkward silence for a minute. How things change so fast will alway bewilder me. I just need to fix this.
"Zayn," I mumble. "I know sorry probably isn't enough but please, let me times it by billions because that's how sorry I am. I don't even know why I kissed him back and I am so sorry I ever hurt you and ruined our relationship." I apologise. Shitty apology really.
"Don't apologise Perrie," Zayn shakes his head. "I got over it quickly. Neither of you knew what you were doing and I love you more than anything, bar Ellie," he smiles at her. "I've fallen deeper in love with you if anything. The fact you told me right away, gave me space and made sure you protected everyone over yourself, proves you're the most amazing person I've ever met Boo." Boo. He called me by my nickname.
I sniff and the tears are rolling from my eyes.
"I'm sorry I've been a crap husband. I should've protected you because you were bringing yourself down. I don't blame you or hate you at all. I love you Pep." He whispers.
"I love you too." I reply and he hugs me tightly. I feel his chin on top of my head and then we both break away, resting our forehead together.
....
I take his right pointer finger and put it just below my bra, running it down the scar that goes from just below my bra in a line down to my belly button. "See this?" I ask him. Zayn nods, knowing he's seen it multiple times before. "I was afraid of showing it, scared of what people might think," I tell Zayn. "But you just got to learn how to deal with them. Your scar and my scar are no different. Sure we got them in different ways but they both prove that we're all a little broken. And that's okay." I tell Zayn.
He smiles and pecks my nose. "You're so adorable, amazing and I love you so much." He tells me and I smile before climbing off him and lying down under the covers.
Zayn flicks off the lamp and jumps in behind me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. "I had a great time tonight. We should do it more often." He says cheekily. I go red and Zayn chuckles, as if he's seen me go red in the pitch black room. "I love you very much Perrie." He mumbles.
"I love you too Zayn." I whisper and then drift off to sleep, safe in his arms.
....
"I have to show you something," I tell Zayn and reach for my back pocket. I pull out the ultrasound picture and hand it over to Zayn, watching his eyes almost pop out of his head. I hand over the little square and watch Zayn look at the picture, obviously trying to comprehend it.
Zayn looks up and smiles at me and I smile back. That's good. A smile is good. He looks back down at the scan and then I think he realises how many babies are in the photo.
"T- twins?" Zayn stutters and looks back up at me. I nod and Zayn looks excited, and shocked, but still pretty excited at what he's looking at, which is a better reaction to what I was thinking.
"How far are you?" Zayn asks. I hold up two fingers and Zayn lets out a deep laugh. Two months again. We had sex just before he went to America, back in October, obviously a condom was forgotten. "This is good, isn't it?" Zayn asks me.
My eyes fill with tears and I nod. Of course it's good. It's seriously scary but so was having Ellie. Zayn pulls me into a big hug and then I fall backwards with Zayn landing on top of me. I crack up and so does we as we just lie there.
"Congratulations Boo," Zayn smiles and kisses my lips gently. This is actuallty getting pretty exciting, and real. And, very scary. Zayn gently pulls away from my lips and just smiles down at me, moving some hair out of my face, making my skin tingle under his touch.
"Congratulations Zayn," I peck his lips back. "Ready to go through it all again?" I ask, referring to having another pregnancy and then the aftermath. "Sleepless nights, nappy changing, stubborness, poop, vomit and all that stuff again, except there will be double, plus Ellie?" I ask. Zayn just smiles and I know it'll all be okay.
....
"Okay Perrie, this time!" Dr. Erica smiles and I nod before looking at Zayn. We're about to have our second and third child... shit.
"As much as I hate you," I mumble to Zayn. "I love you." I whisper and he gives me his wonky smile in return.
"Love you to Boo." He replies just as the contraction arrives and I groan in pain, pushing as fucking hard as I can. Dr. Erica keeps encourgaing me and Zayn holds my hand, just being silent as I scream in pain.
"One more push Perrie!" Dr. Erica instructs and I push with all my fucking might to get this bloody baby out. I finishing pushing when we hear a screech. I feel my heart burn with immediate energy from that noise. It's alive! The first one is alive!
Zayn presses a kiss to my temple. "One more." He whispers and I nod, waiting for the next contraction as I watch them checking the baby. What's the gender would be a nice thing to know... but I guess they're waiting for baby number two.
"Okay Perrie, once more." Dr. Erica smiles and I feel the most painful thing I've felt in my life right now. HOLY MOTHER OF DOGS THIS IS NOT NORMAL! I groan from the pain and in one, huge, straning push I feel relief immediately and another screech. Oh my goodness... the relief and joy!
"Another what seems to be healthy baby!" Dr. Erica smiles and takes the baby over to the other one so they can check them both and give them a quick wipe down.
I turn to Zayn, still panting like crazy and he just moves hair out of my face. I look down into his deep brown eyes and he gives me a smile. I smile back and in this moment it feels like we're infinite. We hear Dr. Erica coming over.
"Well done again!" Dr. Erica beams and I smile back. "Here's your beautiful and healthy baby girls." Dr. Erica smiles and places one into Zayn's arms and one into mine. Girls. Two tiny little baby girls.
I look down at the baby in my hands and my heart melts away. Nothing in the world is more amazing than the feeling of knowing that the child in front of you is your child. Half you, half the person you've loved forever.
I turn to Zayn who has tears streaming down his face, much alike me. He looks up from the tiny brown hair, dark skinned, practically Ellie look alike baby, who looks exactly like the one in my hands, except, the baby in my hands has lighter hair.
"Three daughters." Zayn smiles and me and I nod my head. I feel his lips touch mine and I kiss him back without hesitation. We're the luckiest people in the world it feels like right now. We have three beautiful daughters and I'm beyond stoked.
....
After just looking in the living area of the new home for Jonnie and Gemma, I decide to go and find Zayn. I'll look at the rest of the house later.
I venture back out the front door and see him sitting down on the step outside, his hair quiffed up, tattoo on the back of his neck partly visable and his back muscles prominant through his top. I walk over and sit down next to him. Zayn locks our hands together and I rest my head against his right shoulder, enjoying the moment as I hear noises from inside.
"Whose idea?" I asks, referring to the idea of building the house. I have a feeling it was Zayn's, but it could've been someone elses.
"Mine," Zayn replies quietly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
I nod my head aginst his shoulder and then, inhale a deep breath before exhaling it again. Zayn's hands slide under my body and he lifts me into his lap and we just sit there, me facing fowards as Zayn holds my waist tightly.
"You know how amazing you are?" I whisper to Zayn. "How fucking lucky I am to have a guy like you?" I say with a hint of disbelief in my voice. I truly am lucky to have Zayn, I somtimes have to pinch myself to make sure it's all real. I turn around in Zayn's lap and him, resting our foreheads together.
"I'm the lucky one." Zayn replies, and I feel my cheeks burn a deep shade of red. "I love you so much, Boo." Zayn whispers right before our lips connect and we kiss, just gently, eyes closed, sparks flying.
"I love you too." I mumble in response into his lips, before we hear Ellie's squeal and both jump up, turning around to see Ellie running towards us as everyone else follows behind, thanking all the people who did this for Jonnie and Gemma.
I get lost in between the crowd of people and jump up and down, trying to find where Zayn went. I find him eventually and our eyes connect, my heart beating a little faster like always. This means a lot to my brother and I'm so estatic. Zayn is truly amazing and I don't even understand where he came from?
"Thank you," I mouth at him and he gives me a small smile in return.
....
I watch Zayn shuffle over next to me and rest his arms back, one on the ground behind me, allowing me to rest back a little and place my head on his right shoulder. "Have I ever thanked you?" Zayn asks and I look up into his eyes that are looking back into mine, a little confused at what he means.
"I mean for all of this?" He asks. "Giving me your number, going on dates with me, getting to know me, being honest, kind, caring, amazing, sexy," he chuckles and I laugh a little. "For sticking around and being so supportive and then for saying 'yes'." He continues. I said yes because I loved him and I couldn't imagine my life without him.
"Then being amazing for the years until our wedding, and proceeding to be amazing after that, still to this day being amazing," Zayn places a kiss on my forehead as I blush. "Thank you for our daughters." He says and I close my eyes as I rest my head on his shoulder and he rests his chin against my forehead. "Thank you for loving me." He whispers and I feel a wet drop hit my cheek, but it's not my tears.
I pull back and see tears, slowly but surely falling out of his beautiful brown eyes. Oh my goodness. No, don't cry. I shuffle right up to him and cup his face in my hands, resting our foreheads together.
"No you haven't," I refer to him thanking me. "But you don't need to because you are the most amazing guy in the whole world. I swear nobody I've ever met compares to you. I could scream thank you to you in front of the whole world but that wouldn't matter because you, Ellie, Lillie and Rosie are my whole world." I tell him and more tears flood from his eyes. "I love you so much." I whisper as tears roll down my cheeks.
I feel our lips touch and then the fireworks explode. Seven billion people in the world, but he's the only one who makes me feel like this. I feel our kiss start to break due to the fact we're both smiling and then we pull away, resting our foreheads together.
"I am completely in love with you." Zayn whispers and I watch more tears roll down his cheeks. Making me let out a sob and a shaky breath. Zayn chuckles a little and I just look into his eyes. I never knew that the first time I saw his eyes, I would fall in love with them, with the person behind them- but I did and I don't regret one moment of it.
I press my lips back against his and he kisses me back, sending sparks throughout my body. That sense that he never will stop sending the sparks. It's the most amazing feeling, still after nine years...
We pull away and just rest our foreheads together again, stifling laughs between the two of us. I sit back a bit and sniff, wiping my eyes on the end of my coat. Zayn rubs his eyes dry and we turn back to where we expect to see Ellie but instead she's sitting on the grass in front of us, Lillie and Rosie in her lap, just looking back at Zayn and I.
"You two are cute." Ellie giggles and Zayn and I both laugh, moving over towards Ellie. We both sit opposite her, cross legged just like she is, except we don't have twins in our laps. "One day I want a family." Ellie speaks up and we just look at her. I look at her little braids coming out her beanie. She's so cute! "I want to have three kids like this," Ellie continues. "And a nice hus- berend like you Dadda," Ellie looks at him and he chuckles whilst I smile. He is the most amazing husband.
"And I want to be a good Mummy like you, Mumma." Ellie turns to me, making my heart burn from the comment. She actually thinks that.... that means so much. "And I want to always be in love, just like you Mummy and Daddy." Ellie says adorably. I turn and look at Zayn, tears swelling in my eyes again as he takes my hand in his bigger hand. God, I love him.
....
By now the tears are flooding out of my eyes like a never ending waterfall, crashing at the bottom and vanishing into a rapid of rough water, the rough water being the pain in my heart. My picture book of simple memories that are life changing and so important to Zayn and I.
I look back into Zayn's glassed over eyes and I sniffle. One of his hands are removed from my lower back and he uses the sleeve on his top to wipe away my tears. I let out a small laugh and then a smile forms on my face. Zayn smiles back and rests our foreheads together again.
"I- I kept thinking things th- through. Like, what I was going to d- do I y- you d-didn't make it," Zayn whispers, stuttering as he speaks. "But nothing, nothing came into my mind. B- because it just didn't seem right without you," Zayn's voice tells me, weak and strained. I feel more tears leave my eyes and I just nod my head gently against his. "Don't ever leave me," Zayn's shaky voice demands. "I love you so, so, so fucking much."
"If we could only have this life, for one more day. If we could only turn back time," I whisper to Zayn and his eyes meet mine for what feels like the millionth time in five minutes.
"You h- heard?"
"Yes," I nod my head in response. "It's the only thing I remember from the coma, and it hurts so fucking much." I add quietly. Zayn's tears hit my nose and I feel mine drop right off my face.
"I didn't tell you that I love you that day, and I am so sorry. I'm sorry for not sitting by your side the whole time, and for not being a very good Dad the past few days, and for pretending to be strong, I'm so sorry for pretending to be strong," Zayn cries out quietly. "It was killing me and I should've admitted it, but I couldn't. I am so fucking sorry."
Without any hesitation I connect my lips to his, both sets cracked a dry but full of emotion. My eyes clamp shut and I can feel the wetness across my eyelids. Zayn's hands grip at my lower back and pull me into him, our hip bones knocking together as my hands find the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me.
Zayn's nose squishes against mine and my forehead feels like it's going to crack from the tension between it and Zayn's forehead. Our lips continue to move in sync and my skin staet tingling, my heart almost about to jump out of my chest and my knees start to feel weak, and not from the herniated disc.
I start smiling and so does Zayn, making the kiss start to crack and muffled laughs escape past our lips that are just resting against each other's now.
"Keep it G- Rated," Zayn mimics Ellie and I laugh again as he releases a deep laugh too.
"Shut up," I reply and blink to remove some of the water intruding my eyesight. I study the hazel and brown colours of Zayn's eyes, the way there's dark brown, lighter brown and a bit of green all mixed together in a pattern that makes them absolutely incredible.
"Fuck," Zayn mutters and I raise my eyebrows in confusion. Zayn chuckles a little and pecks my lips before speaking, "I love you."
I don't even pause before my reply, because my answer is the same answer I have been using for years and will be using until the end of time.
"I love you too."