Author's Note: As of this chapter, the fic is 3/4 done being released. :D
~ Amina Gila
Anakin doesn't see or hear from Dooku until the Count shows up to the mid-afternoon meal. "If you have the time, I can work with you for an hour," Dooku informs him as he sits down.
There's not even anything to think about. "I'm ready," he replies determinedly.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka follow him and Dooku down to the training rooms once they've finished the meal, and Anakin can't quite conceal his excitement. This is – it's very different than the training he's done in the past, because now, he's working towards becoming a Sith. Also, he has no idea what Dooku will be teaching him which only arouses his curiosity that much more.
"We have spoken about your mental state at length, especially with regards to yourself," Dooku begins, standing a distance away from Anakin in the middle of the room. He looks him up and down as if trying to assess something. "Now, you need to understand that emotions are, by nature, transient. Which is not to say that they aren't yours, because they are. There is nothing wrong with what you feel. Ever. But even if you are feeling a strong emotion, you mustn't lose sight of the fact that the feeling will not last indefinitely. In time, it will change."
Conceptually, it makes sense, and Anakin quickly realizes that it will take him some time to remain consciously aware of what Dooku is saying at all moments. It is sometimes hard for him to remember that what he is feeling will change from second to second.
"You must learn to find the place inside of you where you will remain calm. You must be mindful of your feelings," Dooku says, a flicker of amusement on his face as he repeats the commonly used Jedi phrase. "By that, I mean you must be able to acknowledge how you are feelings; your emotions are never wrong. We've been over this before."
They have been. Dooku taught Anakin a few of those techniques to allow him to use his emotions to fuel him, but this is something different. He tries it tentatively, looking inwards at how he feels. Excitement. Anticipation. Worry. Fear. Those emotions are dominant right now, and he tries not to look at them too deeply lest he lose himself in them. They will change, he reminds himself. He's never been able to meditate the way the Jedi do, because he feels too deeply, but this is something else entirely.
"Focus on them. Watch how they change with time," Dooku instructs, unclipping his lightsaber and holding it in his hand. Anakin nods, and he continues. "Now, let's have a brief spar. Do not draw on the Dark Side. Right now, you need to focus on centering yourself and becoming accustomed to how you experience emotions."
Anakin makes a face. "Isn't that what Jedi do?"
The Count inclines his head. "Yes, but we have to start somewhere. You have already learned what the Jedi have to teach, and you must work on unlearning everything you have learned. With your current knowledge and experience, this is the best place to start." He doesn't wait for Anakin to reply, igniting his lightsaber and striking.
He's the Sith, Anakin supposes, and he knows what he's doing. If this is the best way to learn, Dooku will know. He draws his blade, blocking Dooku and taking note of the rush of excitement that surges through him, dampening the fear and worry which he felt only moments ago. The spar is slow-paced, Dooku obviously giving Anakin time to focus inwards. It's a moving meditation of sorts, and it's working. He's able to focus single-mindedly on countering Dooku's blows as the Count tests his defenses while separating himself from the emotions he experiences.
"It may take you time to master the technique," Dooku warns as their blades clash. "You must simply try your best and that will be enough."
Anakin smirks slightly, amusement creeping through him. "Yoda always says –"
"I am well-aware of what my old master says," Dooku replies dryly, "And he is wrong. If you will not at least try, you will never succeed. Not when it comes to this."
He steps back a few minutes later, gesturing for Anakin to disengage. "Let's try this again, but this time, draw on the Dark Side. Let yourself remain focused and centered, even while you use it. If you do not, it will be far easier for it to control you than for you to control it," Dooku cautions. "It will be more intense than channeling your emotions the way you have previously, because now, you will be willfully embracing the darkness."
Always in the past, Anakin's encounters with the Dark Side have come when he experienced a powerful, dark emotion. Never has he intentionally pulled on the Dark Side while in a state of calm. He inhales slowly, reaching out with the Force, tapping into what has long been forbidden to him. The Dark Side comes with a rush, whispering promises of power which it may never be able to keep if he loses control. But Dooku is teaching him how to remain in control at all times, and he refuses to disappoint the Count.
It will not be easy for him to keep his mind unclouded by emotions, but apparently, it's something that is as important for the Sith as it is for the Jedi. At least Dooku is explaining it in a way which makes sense. He is not simply preaching about "letting go."
The Dark Side feels different than it has in the past, maybe because before, Anakin has only touched it by drawing on the innate power of his emotions. This is different. This is power, raw and untamed. If only he had had access to it when fighting Sidious. Had he known how to control it, the Sith Master would have been dead already, Anakin is certain of it.
"Do not let it delude you," warns Dooku. "You may have embraced the entirety of the Force, but the boost of power is not as great as you might be led to believe. You must learn your limits now. This is a dangerous time for all Sith apprentices. Now, center yourself, and we'll try this again." He reignites his lightsaber, the humming of the blue blade seeming different than it did before. The un-bled kyber crystal is a source of Light, while Anakin is emersed in the Dark Side.
Dooku is right. Realization dawns slowly, and Anakin struggles to wrestle his uncertainty and fear under control. He doesn't want to lose control – and himself – to the Dark Side, which means that he must learn how to be a Master of it. His only hope now is listening to Dooku and following him without question. There is no turning back.
The Dark Side pours through him, and Anakin can feel it bleeding his eyes yellow as he reignites his own lightsaber, bringing it up to a ready position. There's something almost like pride in Dooku's eyes as he begins his attack. This time, their spar is fast and furious as Anakin lets go of himself, keeping his emotions restrained in a durasteel fist as he figures out how he can control them. Once he grasps the idea, it's easier than he might have expected, at least for now.
Their spar continues, Anakin slowly beginning to experiment with using the Force, the Dark Side. It's stronger than he might have expected, different than the Light Side, more inclined to resist him. But at the same time, it's almost more fulfilling. It feels as if he's finally found a missing piece of himself, and when he pulls back from the Dark Side, balancing between the two Sides of the Force will be far easier for him; he knows it.
Dooku skids backwards as Anakin Force shoves him, and he uses the opportunity to lunge at his unprotected side. He pulls back before actually hitting him, of course, but the knowledge that, in a real fight, Dooku – or whoever the opponent is – would have been gravely injured is incredibly satisfying. Anakin wins the spar, leveling his lightsaber at Dooku's neck. He came close to losing many times, and perhaps the only reason for his victory is the fact that Dooku left an opening, possibly even intentionally.
They step away from each other, extinguishing their lightsabers. Dooku looks... proud. "Well done, Skywalker," he praises as Anakin relinquishes his control of the Dark Side, letting it flow out of him as he reaches out to the Light Side, balancing himself. For the first time in his life, Anakin feels complete, whole, significant. He's never felt as calm and content as he does now.
"Keep practicing," Dooku adds, "And you will learn how to master yourself. It won't happen immediately, and don't get frustrated if you lose control sometimes." He gives him a meaningful look, which says even more. Dooku is cautioning him against blaming himself or otherwise letting himself become depressed if he doesn't achieve the standards that he thinks he should. Anakin respects that Dooku didn't say any of that in front of Ahsoka.
"I won't," Anakin promises, and he means it. He'll do his best because that's all Dooku expects from him. This time, he doesn't feel like he's living up to impossible standards.
***
Over the next several days, Anakin's practice sessions continue, even if Dooku doesn't always have much time to spent with him. Anakin is proud of the fact that his control over himself is improving, far faster than even Dooku had anticipated. He even commented on how Anakin is a far faster learner than anyone else he has known in the past, a high compliment. Anakin chalks it up to his firm, sturdy determination to succeed and become a true Sith Lord without losing control of himself and becoming a monster like Sidious is.
In addition to practicing his control over the Dark Side, Anakin also begins working on his lightsaber forms. While he is a master of Djem So, he knows that Sidious, being an expert at all lightsaber forms, Form VII, in particular, will be hard to defeat with that one form alone. And so, Anakin and Ahsoka are brushing up on their knowledge of Form III. Obi-Wan, who is a renowned master of Soresu, is drilling it into them, until Anakin swears that he could probably work through it even in his sleep. Dooku, who is a master of Makashi, is also guiding them in Form II if he has an opportunity.
When they fight Sidious next – it's not an if; it's a when – the Sith Master will be more than prepared for them. This time, he'll likely be fighting to kill, so they all need to be at their best. If one of them makes even a small mistake, it could likely cost all of them their lives. Their ability to work flawlessly together is what will keep them alive.
Anakin knows that Obi-Wan is still highly apprehensive about him training as a Sith, but he hasn't said anything else about it, even though Anakin probed lightly on a couple occasions. Most of their conversations – everyone's conversations – recently have revolved around the political state of the galaxy, their situation, and the hunt for and inevitable confrontation with Sidious. They are all understandably on edge given that they have heard nothing from Sidious since he left Coruscant. It's as if he's vanished, though the traces of his presence are more than apparent in the opposition they're getting from the group which split away from the Separatists.
At least the two sides are working on opening peace talks; Anakin had been worried that the Republic Senate would not be willing to talk with the Separatists on equal ground, especially since he and Obi-Wan have publicly been labeled terrorists. If either of them is seen on Republic territory, they'll be arrested and/or killed on sight. It stings far more than it thought it would, but he knows that their status will have to change if the peace talks are to be concluded successfully. More than likely, a proper resolution will result in pardons for the military officials of the opposing side. Besides, Dooku will probably go to Coruscant, something he can't do if Anakin and Obi-Wan are unable to accompany him. The knowledge that the Count will ensure that they not suffer for supporting him is incredibly relieving.
During this afternoon's practice session, Dooku is having Anakin spar against Obi-Wan. In many ways, it's far more thrilling than fighting Dooku, because Obi-Wan is a master of Soresu, a defensive form, while Anakin's form replies more on aggression. And this time, unlike every other time, Anakin is drawing heavily on the Dark Side. He knows what he looks like with yellow eyes: unsettling would be an understatement, but the rush of power is thrilling. The more he practices, the more he's able to sense the way the Dark Side whispers to him, trying to convince him that he's more capable than he really is.
He knows how to refrain from becoming too overconfident. His humiliating defeat at Dooku's hands during their second session more than convinced him of the importance of learning how to judge his own limits. It will take time to fully see through the deceitful whispers of power, but he's learning, faster than Dooku anticipated as well.
The spar against Obi-Wan is incredible, and after over an hour of going back and forth, they call it a tie and take a break. There is a reason why they are called The Team; they work together flawlessly, especially now that they're rebuilding their relationship. Sidious won't know what hit him when they attack. Hopefully.
"That was awesome, Skyguy," Ahsoka congratulates, radiating excitement into the Force as Anakin and Obi-Wan sit down to catch their breath and cool down. They could easily have sparred for many more hours before the exhaustion would have caught up with them, but Dooku had other obligations, and he doesn't want Anakin to explore the Dark Side too deeply on his own without guidance.
"I want to learn what you're doing," she announces, her determination apparent.
Anakin glances at Dooku, who seems more pleased than surprised. Obi-Wan's uncertainty is expected; Anakin can feel it filtering through their bond, despite his former master's shielding. "If you are certain, Snips," he replies, giving her his full attention. "Yoda wasn't wrong when he said that the Dark Side will forever dominate your destiny once you start down that path. There is no going back."
She frowns slightly. "Do you regret it?" she wonders curiously.
There's not even anything for Anakin to think about. "No," he replies, shaking his head, "This is what I needed, and I think that maybe I was always meant to walk this path. But I don't want you to follow me unless you are convinced that it is what you want and need."
"It is," she assures him, and from her tone, Anakin knows that she has already made up her mind.
"Very well," Dooku interjects, "Then welcome to the Sith Order, young one."
Ahsoka grins, her eagerness powerful enough to nearly be contagious. "What do I need to do?"
Anakin glances at Obi-Wan, seeing his resignation, though he's clearly not planning to argue; obviously he's already accepted that this is where Ahsoka would end up. Maybe he realized it long before she herself did. Anakin wouldn't be surprised. "What now?" he echoes Ahsoka, meeting Dooku's brown eyes.
"I can lead you in naming your Padawan," he tells him. "It seems fitting that you name her, and if she is to be one of us, then she deserves a name of her own."
Anakin couldn't agree more. He rises, moving to Dooku's side as the Count gestures to him. Ahsoka's anticipation and curiosity is palpable. "Embrace the Force in its entirety," murmurs the Count. "Let it tell you her name."
He inhales, letting the Force flood through him, suppressing the call of the Dark Side. The lure is almost irresistible, and it takes all his self-control not to let it in fully. He's been working towards achieving absolute control and that means knowing when he can and cannot give in. Anakin reaches into the Force itself, asking it silently what an appropriate name for Ahsoka would be. The responding whisper strikes him with the rightness. Veritas.
He meets Ahsoka's eyes as she watches him with bated breath. "By the will of the Force, your name shall henceforth be Darth Veritas," he declares, noting how his voice sounds more like Vader's than his own. He pulls back from the depths of the Force as quickly as he can, disliking the way he feels like he's about to be devoured by it entirely.
She mouths the name, exuding a pleased satisfaction. "Thanks, Master," she says almost shyly.
"Master Kenobi, are you certain you do not wish to join the Sith?" Dooku inquires. Anakin smothers a snort at the question because this is Obi-Wan. He's always so light; the thought of him agreeing to embrace the Dark Side is simply ludicrous.
Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow at him. "Why, I hope you are not trying to mock me, Count," he states pleasantly. "If you are all driven to madness by the Dark Side, I would very much like to be in my right mind enough to say: 'I told you so.'"
"Very funny, Master," drawls Anakin, amused. He knows Obi-Wan is only joking – despite his reservations, he doesn't actually think that any of them will go insane. Probably – so the comment doesn't sting the way it might once have.
"If you are quite certain of your decision," Dooku replies, lips quirking into a small smile. "You can feel free to change your mind anytime."
"Oh yes, I will be sure to remember," Obi-Wan says dryly, and something in Anakin loosens at this display of light-heartedness. He knows that his former master isn't exactly pleased with him training to become a Sith but seeing him joking with Dooku is... oddly comforting. It means that maybe he won't always have to fear that Obi-Wan will mistrust and dislike the Count. Dooku is a mentor to him now, and he'll never be able to replace Obi-Wan – nor does he want to, of course – but he's still important to Anakin.
Anakin is smiling when he turns to look at Ahsoka. "Well Snips, it's time to introduce you to the Dark Side."
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