Hey everyone! I have a few words to say before hopping into this one. First, I really appreciate all your guys' support and love that you have shown me. I absolutely love reading all your comments and knowing I made just a few moments better for y'all. I hope to continue to do that for everyone, which leads me to my second point. I apologize for my lack of activity recently. I have been working and went through a major writer's block stage for a while but I have gotten back into it finally. I am writing a separate fanfiction right now that has become a really big project for me. It's something I am super excited about and I hope you will be interested, cause I will need your help. It's a Criminal Minds story. I have gotten caught up in the show and binged, another reason I haven't been posting that much, but also that I have been working on that story. What started out as a simple idea that I decided to turn into a small imagine, has grown even bigger than I thought it would, and now I've got big plans. It's something I am super excited for and I want it to be recognized. I don't have a title for it or a cover because I have been nonstop writing it and trying not to distract myself and lose motivation. In just 2 weeks with super late nights, a crap ton of research, and a lot of coffee, I managed to write almost 10,000 words on a document, and I still have plenty more to do. This little story is my exception because I am trying not to rush it. I have grown as a writer and I can tell by re-reading my first couple of imagines in this book. I want to make it enjoyable for the readers and I love the idea. Speaking of, I actually need a name for the main character so if anyone has ideas, please let me know. Names are hard for me which is why I stick to Y/n, but I don't want to do that for this one. Anyways, my last point, I do still plan to write my imagines and I am working on people's requests right now. It's just going to take me a little longer to get them out because of this story. But for now, have this little imagine. I have too many fictional crushes and Spencer Reid just got added to that list so now that I am done with my speech, let's get on with the story. Btw, trigger warning. there will be mentions of death, blood, and murder.
The BAU was everything I had dreamed of, but also everything I feared. The job put me on the field, saving people and catching the bad guys. It was something I had wanted to do since I was a kid watching crime shows with my mom. I told her one day "I wanna be a hero just like them, mom," to which she responded, "I know, you would be great at it, honey." I always thought being on the FBI would have been incredible, and my interest in psychology and behavior led me to the idea of the BAU. I studied and gathered all my necessary background and credentials to get there. The consistent college stress I endured was worth it the day I walked into that building for the first time.
I was nervous, to say the least. I didn't know what to expect or what everyone would think of me. I was younger than most were to join the team. While I was no genius, I was determined. My credentials exceeded their requirements, they didn't have to think too hard to transfer me.
The team was probably a little skeptical of me at first. I didn't seem the type to be on the FBI, but we quickly warmed up to each other. I met my boss first, Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief. While scary and daunting, he seemed easy enough to get along with. He gave me the run down, the typical daily schedule. When to arrive, what to expect, and lots of paperwork. He reminded me that everything was unexpected around here. I needed to make sure I was always ready because, at any given moment, a case could come through. We needed to be on our game the whole time, reminding me that there would be lives at stake while in the field. I understood my job and my role on the team. He welcomed me with a firm handshake, which I returned along with a smile.
"Thank you so much for this opportunity, Agent Hotchner."
"The pleasure is all mine Y/l/n. And, please, just call me Hotch." He gave me a small welcome smile. To be honest, he didn't seem much like a person who smiled that often. His demeanor was very serious and professional, but I knew I would be able to get used to it.
I finally got to meet the rest of my team after that. Hotch brought me around and introduced me. After only meeting the team, I already felt welcomed and like this would be a place I could belong. It was like a family here, something I hadn't had for a long time.
He introduced me first to David Rossi, then Jennifer Jareau, or J.J. The meetings, were super quick, more of a formal greeting than anything else. They were both busy so we didn't get down to small talk. While the conference was short, they still were delighted to meet me.
Derek Morgan was sweet but an immense flirt. The way he spoke to the females around here was interesting, but not bad enough to raise concern. At least not within the group, out of context I could see where people might think some things. He gave me the name pretty girl, told me it fit me. I laughed and asked, "Why's that?"
"Oh, you'll see," he said giving me a wink. I definitely didn't know what he meant by that, but I had faith in the fact that I would, indeed, find out sooner or later.
I met Emily Prentiss next. She was calm and welcoming and had such a professional look. Her outfit was simple. Not too dull in color but not too bright. It was something one would typically wear to a job interview. She told me she had been anticipating meeting me since she heard there would be a new transfer. I told her a little about me and how I ended up here, how it had been my dream to be on the FBI one day. I liked her, she was easy to get along with and I hoped that it would stay that way. She didn't seem like someone who would raise that much conflict.
Penelope Garcia quickly became one of my best friends. She was kind of eccentric and had the least formal greeting on the team. She hugged me and told me how excited she was to have me here. She had done extensive research about me. She knew all the schools I had gone to and had seen all the work I had done and published. She somehow even managed to find out that I volunteered at an animal shelter when I was 12 and told me she highly respected that. I was super impressed with her technical knowledge and abilities. She was persistent on the idea that there weren't enough girls around here, even though the male to female ratio on the team was now 4:4.
"Seriously though, let me tell you, coffee will become your best friend here," she said smiling. Her blonde and fluffy hair was tied up and she had an adorable bow right on top. She wore a lot of colors, bold and vibrant. You could tell she had confidence and didn't care what anyone thought. She was herself and I admired that.
"I don't know, I'm not a big coffee drinker. Never have been," I responded.
"You are now." I laughed. Coffee was really not my thing. I never understood how one could drink it straight, it tasted like living death. Anytime I did drink it, I was heavy on the sugar and any sort of cream I could get my hands on. I loved the energizing effects it had on me and that was the only reason I would ever drink it.
"I've got one more person for you to meet," Hotch said, turning the other way. I followed, giving Garcia a wave. He lead me to a man who was sitting at his desk writing something in a notebook, looking very deep in thought. "Spencer, This is Y/n Y/l/n. She's our new transfer."
Spencer looked up at us, looking slightly startled. He regathered himself and stood up, with an awkward smile. "Y/n, this is Dr. Spencer Reid-"
"Hotch," J.J. called from the upper level of the room. She looked like she had something important she needed to talk to him about.
"Excuse me," he said before heading up to her, leaving me with Spencer.
I looked back at him, getting a good look at the man standing before me. He didn't appear to be much older than I was, but he was much taller. His eyes were a honey brown and his wavy hair grew well past his ears. He was very cute, I would admit that. I couldn't help but smile at him as we made eye contact. He seemed kind of shy, somewhat nervous. I couldn't imagine meeting people was his forte.
"Hi, um... I'm Y/n," I said, reaching out my hand. He just looked at it for a few seconds, hesitating before reacting.
"You know, the number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss," he said looking back up to my eyes. His comment shocked me. My eyebrows shot up and my mouth dropped open slightly. I had hardly even met this man but it shocked me that those were his words of choice. Morgan, sitting at his desk nearby, heard what he said and laughed. Spencer looked down, seemingly surprised he had said it himself, but he didn't apologize or say anything else on it, he didn't regret it. He had to be messing with me so I flipped the cards.
"I mean, I just met you but uh, I'm sure that can be arranged," I joked. He looked back up at me, looking surprised at my answer. Blush was covering his cheeks and based on the way he glanced over at Morgan who was dying by now for a split second before looking back at the ground, he was definitely embarrassed. I could see he was holding back a smile, even from my angle.
"You better watch it there pretty boy. Don't go losing your head already. You just met the girl," Morgan said, a very amused smirk plastered on his face. Reid rolled his eyes slightly, trying to hide his smile. He then reached his hand out to mine, gripping it firmly. I smiled at him as I realized this was the reason Morgan called me pretty girl.
I settled into my desk in the bullpen. I knew I would love it here. And I did, for the most part. As I said, it was everything I dreamed of, but also everything I feared. We couldn't save everybody, I knew that but it never stopped me from feeling so guilty, thinking of how differently things could have gone. For days, weeks even, I would spend reminiscing. The team would keep telling me that I can't keep dwelling on it. What matters is that we could have saved who knows how many more people by what we did. And that was my consistent reminder throughout the job. As much as it hurt me, we were doing the right thing and saved a lot of lives.
After my meeting with Reid, we found out why Hotch got called away so abruptly. In only a few moments, we were all sitting in the conference room going over a case we were called to. On my first day, not even settled in for half an hour, we had a case.
"Sacramento, Cali, 3 prostitutes were reported missing over the course of 2 months and five days after their abduction, their bodies were found," J.J. announced. "They were all found at the same location, a desolate river east of a popular campsite. Their throats were slashed and bruises and cuts were found all over their body."
"Anything in the toxicology reports?" Hotch asked, looking through his case file.
"Nothing came up. They believe he is sleeping with them, paying for them but not letting them go. Then, obviously killing them."
"If he was sleeping with these girls, shouldn't they have been able to identify his DNA?" I pipped in. I was nervous to speak up, and Morgan looked over at me, seeming a little surprised I said anything on my very first day, but seemingly it must have been a good question. Everyone looked back to J.J. expectantly, waiting to hear what she would say.
"That's the weird thing, they couldn't find any and there were no tearing or bleeding that would indicate some form of rape, but there was definitely penetration. He must have cleaned them up well enough to completely erase any evidence he was with these girls." She explained.
We quickly finished up the briefing and headed to grab our things. They were getting the jet started, we would be heading out immediately. I didn't have a lot to grab, just my go-bag, my credentials, and my case file. Oh, and my book. The jet ride would be pretty long. I shoved it in my bag, heading towards the rest of the team.
We boarded the jet and soon headed off. The pressure in my ears built up quickly. I had always had problems with bad ear pressure, with driving or flying. As I tried my best to make it go away, forcing a yawn, stretching out my jaw, swallowing, I saw that everyone else was just at ease. Everyone was just looking through their files, trying to find something else in them. It seemed this was something I would have to get used to.
"Okay, so he's sleeping with them, taking care of them, then killing them. Why would he take so much care over them if he's just gonna kill them anyway?" Morgan asked. We all leaned into the middle to hear everyone out.
"Maybe he doesn't want to kill them," Spencer suggested. He looked up from his case file, making quick eye contact with me. He gave me a small smile before looking back down.
"Then why does he?" Morgan responded, his hand popping up in a questioning gesture.
"Maybe he's not getting what he wants," Hotch suggested. "He might have an overbearing need for control, that when it is no longer satisfied, he lashes out. Usually controlling tendencies arent taken as far as murder, this would be extreme."
"So... OCD?" Morgan added again.
"Not necessarily," I said. The team all looked over at me, making me feel a little insecure. I no longer wanted to say what I had in mind, but it was too late to back out now. "uh... well a need for control could have gone back to his childhood where any form of control or freedom was missing. His parents restricting him, an older sibling taking charge, a harsh school he could have attended. He might have felt like he had no say in anything that happened to him, leading him to be overbearingly controlling as he got away from it."
The team nodded, making me feel much better about my idea. The team tried to bring up a few other points, but nothing certain we could go off of. We would have to build more of a profile after we saw the crime scenes and got some more information. In the meantime, everyone went back to themselves, enjoying the long ride we would have ahead of us.
I pulled out my book and began reading, figuring I had nothing else to do really. Morgan got out his headphones, J.J. was reading a magazine and it looked like Prentiss was taking a nap. I began reading, but shortly after I cracked open my book, someone came and sat next to me.
I looked up to see the smiling face of Spencer. I was surprised but smiled back. His hair was tucked behind his ears and I could see a small hint of blush on his cheeks. "Uh, what are you reading," he asked shyly. I showed him the cover of my book. "The Iron Trial? Haven't heard of it. What's it about?"
I felt the blush creep up on my own cheeks this time as I smiled a little. "Um, magic basically, a magic school sorta. These kids go through a trial if they possess magical abilities, if their magic is strong enough, they are admitted into the school and train on their magic throughout five years. If not, their magic is bound, memories taken away and they are sent back home," I explained.
"Magic school. Kinda like Harry Potter?"
"It kind of is, but it's different. The main character doesn't want to go to the school so he- It's a lot to explain," I interrupt myself, not wanting to feel stupid by ranting about my book.
"We've got plenty of time. I wanna hear about it," he urged me to continue. I smiled and gave a nervous laugh.
(There will be spoilers for this book)
"Okay, but you set yourself up for this one," I laugh. "So it's based around elemental magic. People who possess this magic can make the elements bend to their will. It's really cool. The main character, Callum Hunt, doesn't want to go. Explanation, both of his parents were mages, they both attended the school, but shortly after they got out, a war happened. His mom died in the war and so his father blames the school for her death. He tells Callum about how horrible the school is and all that so he tries to fail the tests but gets in anyway.
"Later in the book, one of his best friends turns out to be one of the few mages that can wield magic that is very rare, called chaos magic. Later, he finds out that he is basically the villain. During the war, the "bad guy" was dying and he could also wield chaos magic. With that, you can also manipulate the soul. He had been testing all kinds of things with soul magic because it was so unexplored and feared in a lot of places. He had been trying to raise the dead because his brother died due to his own carelessness but never figured it out, but he managed to transfer his soul into a baby so he could carry on. That ended up being Callum but he didn't remember ever being this bad guy.
"Long story short, considering there's a whole five books in this series, he hides it, ends up telling his friends, does stupid boy things, and lots of things happen. It's a lot to go into but that's a basic explanation I guess," I finished with a nervous laugh. I realized I had been speaking really fast. I tended to do that a lot, especially when I was nervous, and something about Spencer made me nervous. That and I had a hard time dealing with all the focus being on me. I could never really do public speaking for that reason.
When I looked back over at Spencer, he was smiling at me. "What?" I asked, starting to feel insecure and nervous again.
"Nothing. That was just adorable," he admitted. I was definitely blushing this time. I smiled.
"What was?"
"I could tell you were excited. Your face lit up, your hand movements, your eyes. But you got nervous at the end. You rambled, you began talking faster, you were sort of shaking." he explained, looking at me expectantly.
"You noticed all that?" I laughed, still nervous. "Well, cats out of the bag now I guess." he snickered.
"Why were you nervous?" he asked quietly.
"Um, I-I don't know... Um, I don't do too well with... uh speaking I guess." I sputtered. He gave me a knowing look. A small smile tugged at his lips and his eyebrows were slightly raised. I felt my face heat up even more in embarrassment. I was sure he knew that it was him that was making me nervous. I felt my hands get sweaty and my heart start racing. "Well anyway um... what... um, what do we... uh nevermind."
He laughed but I was too embarrassed to laugh with him. I would have gotten up and walked out if he weren't on the outside. I was stuck here for the time being. His hand came to rest on mine. Slowly I looked up at him, making eye contact, a small heartwarming smile forming on his lips. I felt the blush from earlier rise to my cheeks again. I just met this man an hour ago. I didn't need to be falling for him.
I cleared my throat, pushing my bundle of nerves and feelings beneath me and pulling my hand back slowly.
"Sorry," he apologized with a small laugh. I just shrugged my shoulders, brushing it off.
~~~~
The next day, we had already visited a few of the crime scenes, or more the drop spots. We managed to conclude he was a sadist, mid to late '30s, an altered belief of morality. My guess on the jet ride was mostly right. He was raised in a very controlling home with little power or say in his actions. The way he was raised, he was put under the belief that having control was your right when someone owed you something. He believed that after sleeping with these women, he literally owned them and that they owed him their lives. Not only that, after having no control or power in his own life, he was desperate to have it. He got off on the control he had over his victims, and once he felt he was losing control or it just simply wasn't enough, he killed them. After the first kill, he got addicted to the power he felt in the moment and continued, trying to recreate that feeling.
Of course though, as usual, it's never the same feeling as the first, so in desperation, his killings began to become closer together, and shorter time between abduction and murder. And he would keep going until he got the sexual release he craved. Until we caught the bastard.
I stood by the side as Hotch and the team gave the local police the profile. When Spencer spoke up, I couldn't help but fall into his voice. The way he spoke with confidence and certainty, his hand movements as he voiced his knowledge, was just too adorable. On the jet ride, I had learned about Spencer's eidetic memory and his exceptional IQ. I listened to him talk for nearly an hour, spitting out random facts and running on these long tangents. With every word, I swore I became more mesmerized by him. His voice, his knowledge, and even his looks. I began to wish I had an eidetic memory for the sole purpose of memorizing each and every one of his features to hold with me when I wasn't with him.
Again, I had to push those thoughts aside. I still had only known him for a day and we were on a case. I was certain it was unprofessional to be thinking about that on the job, even if nobody knew about it.
The profile was given and now it was time to get on the hunt. Find anything and everything we could to pinpoint exactly who our unsub was. We had Garcia looking into records of any sort really, Reid was on the geographical map, Morgan and Hotch were going to the crime scenes, and J.J., Prentis, and Rossi were interviewing witnesses. Because I was new still, they had me stay with Spencer at the precinct on the maps.
"There aren't any specific patterns to the drop spots, but they were all dropped within certain parameters in the city, around here," he pointed to the area he was speaking of on the board. There were marks in a red expo marker where the bodies had been left. "The unsub likely held them within this area. He wouldn't have gone to great lengths to take care of the bodies, considering how they were dumped. He doesn't care for them once they're dead, so he wouldn't have traveled far, which leads me to believe he's holding them somewhere around... here," he said as he made a small circle within the mess of red dots with a blue marker. "That only narrows it down to about 10,000 homes."
"So not much to go off," I asked. He looked over at me with a thin-lipped smile.
"Not really. But we can probably say he lives in low-income housing of some form. If he is holding them in his own home, we could narrow it a little from there." He looked back at the board as if trying to analyze it further. Like our unsubs address would just pop out if he looked hard enough.
"How do you know?" I took a few steps closer to him, taking a look at the board alongside him.
"Considering the desperation he had to get away from his family and the prevalent mental issues he is most likely suffering, he probably hasn't held up much of a stable job since he got away," He explained still trying to focus on something as his eyes were narrowed like he was reading. He placed his marker down and stood back straight again, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"But didn't we say he went to college because of his parents? Wouldn't he have at least something?" He was forced to attend college by his parents. Probably even paid his full tuition. The overbearing control would have lasted into his mid 20's until he left.
"Yeah, but I think once he made it away from home and was left on his own, he didn't know where to go and he wouldn't go to his family for help. And then his overwhelming need for control wouldn't allow him to hold a job like that. He would have had to settle for the bare minimum but still consistently was switching his jobs." He looked over at me as I nodded my head in understanding. It made sense. His drive for power would have been consuming his thoughts, and holding a job he didn't have control over would be a stressor of some sort. He would lash out. Probably the reason he was switching between jobs. Either quitting or getting fired.
Reid called Garcia to have her look into low-income homes within the area he pinpointed and who had a record of many basic jobs and possibly even some petty crimes. The absolute goddess our technical analyst was managed to find a guy who fits the profile. He went to expensive private schools in his childhood and went to a prestigious college within the area. Worked in multiple fast-food restaurants and some other small businesses and had minor offenses for reported assaults. We called Hotch and told him we might have our guy.
And we were right.
We went to his apartment and found the DNA of our victims all over the place. He killed these women in his own home and was in a horrible mental state when we arrived. He was taken away but not easily. He fought back. He was angry and was even angrier once he was cuffed. The sheriff told us he would be getting the help he needed once he got an evaluation.
As we finished up, we were told to go back to the hotel to grab our things. We would be leaving that night but wouldn't be getting home until way late so we would be finishing up our case notes first thing in the morning. Hotch had to finish up a few things at the station while the rest of us were free to head back.
So I sat in my hotel room. My first case was... interesting to say the least. It was kind of overwhelming. I was able to fit in pretty easily, present myself where I needed to be, but it still felt wrong somehow. I mean we won, but our unsub was really in horrible condition. He did these things having virtually no control over himself. It still felt as if we lost somehow. All those lives we couldn't save, even though a small amount, they were still gone. What if he had managed to get more victims before we caught him? And not only that, there were still so many people out there dying, people we will never be able to save.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door. I was pulled back into reality abruptly, realizing I hadn't even started packing my stuff back into my go-bag. It was probably Morgan or Prentiss telling me we were leaving in ten minutes.
I stood up off the bed and walked to my door, opening it swiftly to be met with the anxious face of Spencer Reid. His eyes lifted up from the ground as the door opened. He was fiddling with his hands and his hair was falling by the sides of his face, free of products so it was curling slightly. He did seem pretty anxious. His eyebrows scrunched together slightly, his eyes avoiding mine, his posture making it seem like he was trying to sink back into himself.
"Hi," he mumbled meekly.
"Hey," I replied, worried that something was wrong. "Is... everything alright?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to... come check up on you," he said unconvincingly. I raised my eyebrow in suspicion, knowing this wasn't just about checking up on me.
"Oh, well, I am... doing good," I replied uncertainly. He slowly nodded his head, giving a thin-lipped awkward smile.
"Yeah, It's just... your first case you know," he tried to recover himself, but it didn't seem to be working. He knew that too, his face began to turn a shade of pink, likely out of embarrassment.
"Yeah, I'm aware," I said, fighting back a smile.
"I just... you know, wanted to see how you're... uh, how your feeling." I smiled and looked down. This was certainly about something else. I think he just wanted to see me and thought he needed an excuse. One thing for sure, he needed no excuse to see me. I found myself getting a little crush on him over the small time we knew each other. Maybe I was crazy, but he was attractive and adorable. Who wouldn't fall for him?
Anyone sensible. But I was not.
"Oh. I'm feeling... I don't know how I'm feeling." I looked at the ground again, leaning against the doorframe. "It just doesn't feel like we won you know?"
He nodded his head and raised his eyebrows for a second. "Yeah. That's quite common in this job. You just can't save everyone. People will die no matter what we do."
"Yeah. And I mean, obviously were saving lives, were catching the bad guys, but I just keep thinking that no matter how many people we save, there's always gonna be more people dying. More people than we can ever save. Like you said, people are gonna die no matter what. It's the reason we have a job in the first place, but there's always gonna be more people dead than saved."
"Yeah... It really sucks. Almost impossible to fathom," he nodded his head slowly. I could really see how much this job left an impression on him. He looked sad and sort of traumatized. He had seen more death than an average person should ever see, and it really left a mark. "Oh, it's almost worse when you have to break it to the family that someone they loved is dead. Especially when it could have been prevented somehow."
"Oh, I can imagine. I was on the receiving end of that conversation once..." I said quietly. Spencer's eyes were almost instantly shot with concern and worry. "I um... my brother he uh... he was killed while at a party with some of his friends. The police almost had the guy too. He was 16 when it uh... when it happened." I could feel my eyes brimming with tears as I spoke. "I was only 13-" My voice cracked, but I cleared my throat to try to hide it.
Spencer was looking at me, compassion in his gaze. I wasn't sure if he wanted to hug me or if he wanted to leave, but he proceeded to stand there awkwardly looking sad, not knowing what to say.
"I-I'm sorry... that that happened. I..." he nervously laughed a breathy sigh-like laugh. (What the heck is that called?) "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I... don't really want to talk about it." He nodded, his expression back to being almost unreadable. I could tell he was deeply thinking, but about what exactly threw me.
There was an awkward silence between the two of us for a few minutes. Spencer rocked back and forth on his heels while I started messing with the chain on the wall that locked the hotel door. We stayed like this until I could muster some courage to speak. "Do... do you wanna come in?"
He made eye contact with me, a small smile he tried to hide began to creep upon his face before nodding his head. I opened the door wider, following inside my hotel room after him. His demeanor was very shy like he wasn't sure what to do. His hands were in his pockets and he was very stiff. But on the other side, his hair was falling in his face, the top button of his shirt was undone, and the shirt was almost completely untucked. He had hardly changed his clothes before coming to see me, only getting as far as taking his tie off. He was just completely adorable, and despite the awkward moment we were having for the second time, I couldn't stop myself from checking him out.
Unfortunately, he noticed. His lips upturned into a knowing smile that eventually turned into a laugh as has his eyes were locked on mine. I felt my face heat up quickly. To try to hide it, I turned around and started gathering some of my things.
"If you think I'm cute Y/n, just tell me," he took a step closer to me. I hadn't realized how close until I turned around and saw him about a foot from my face. My eyes were wide and my face was probably a really dark shade of red. A small smirk was still plastered on that adorable face of his and he wouldn't take his eyes from mine.
I tried to hold eye contact but kept looking away awkwardly. I knew he could tell how this was making me feel, what position I was in. I couldn't move or speak, it was like I was stuck, doomed to be in that awkward stance for eternity. I had absolutely no clue where this confidence came from, but it was hella hot and yet left me completely frozen.
"Do-do you uh... you wanna help me pack up?" I stammered, trying to rush my words out and completely ignoring his statement.
"Sure," he whispered, not dropping his smile.
So he did. All of his things were already packed and in his hotel room. He helped me with grabbing all my things and unorganizingly shoving them into my go-bag.
The plane ride home was much less awkward. Spencer had gone back to being himself, his confidence not nearly what it had been half an hour prior. We had another long ride home and we wouldn't be getting back until pretty late. We were all resting, trying to catch up on ourselves after the case. Spencer had come and sat next to me while we both silently read, him drastically faster than me.
The next few weeks were pretty calm. We had new cases pretty often, mostly abductions, and a few serial murders. Even an arsonist. That was fun.
Not.
Spencer and I came to be pretty close. He didn't have a lot of friends other than the team and neither did I. It was the perfect recipe for best friends.
And that's what we became.
After only a few weeks, we ended up spending a lot more time at each other's apartments. I would sometimes go have a girl's night with Penny, J.J., and Em, but when I wasn't with them, I was with Spencer. Even when the group decided to go to the bar after a long boring paperwork day, Spencer and I would always just end up hanging around each other since neither of us really drank.
He wasn't much for dancing, but I was able to convince him to get up and dance with me for the sake of it. He was really not a good dancer and it was hilarious watching him make a fool of himself on the dance floor. I was also pretty sure Derek got a video of him tripping over a random stranger.
One night, a Saturday night at the bar, they were holding a karaoke night. It was hilarious to see all the drunk people singing songs they hardly knew. The team had tried to convince me to get up there and sing something but I refused. That was until Spencer went and signed me up anyways. He said it was out of revenge for pushing him into that stranger (which I did not do by the way).
Of course, the team was cheering me on but I felt really embarrassed. I tried to sing a popular Maroon 5 song, and it would have gone well if I hadn't almost had a panic attack on stage. When my song was over, I sat back at the table with my hands in my face, ignoring everyone's comments about how good it was or how I did such a great job. My hands were shaking and I was lightheaded, which always happened to due stage fright and performance anxiety but it is what it is I guess.
And you know what? Spencer didn't even apologize. He just kept saying "Everyone is too drunk to even care. Plus, you didn't sound bad anyway. You did great."
To which I replied, "Yeah? Why don't you get your ass up there? Maybe ill sign you up without telling you." I was laughing, mostly out of nerves. I hated singing in front of people. I knew he didn't know that, but that was just a little uncalled for. Afterward, I felt better about the whole thing, almost found it a little funny. Other than the mortification.
He spent the night at my apartment that night, sleeping on the couch like he insisted every single time, even in his own apartment. No matter how much I tried to convince him to stay on the bed while I took the couch, he wouldn't take it. It was flattering but the poor boy was gonna be suffering some back problems.
Even in just those few weeks, I found myself falling harder and harder for him. I had to learn how to control my blush, otherwise, he was too good of a profiler to not know right off the bat. Or he would be totally oblivious either way. I knew he wasn't the best when it came to social cues, especially about love, but based on what he said back in the hotel room, he might have already guessed.
The rest of the team probably knew how head over heels I was for him. I just had to hope they hadn't told him already. Derek had given me a few knowing glances while stopping by Spencer's desk or while sitting next to him on the jet.
I found myself analyzing every aspect of him, memorizing his facial features and his different moods. I loved hearing him go on tangents, spitting out the random facts he just knew off the top of his head. I loved hearing how excited he would get while saying them, but he would often be shut down by the team. I always put my hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting smile as he was a little saddened. It seemed to make him feel a little better.
His voice was almost like a drug for me. I could listen to him for hours. We could hardly ever make it through a movie because he would always start talking about something and I wouldn't stop him. He would go on, and I would listen, hardly comprehending what he was even saying because I was so entranced. By the time he would finish, the movie would be almost over.
"Sorry," he said once he realized the credits were on. He had come over to my house again after a boring paperwork day. The sun had long set and it was past midnight. I had been trying to get him to watch the classic Disney movies because he had never seen them, only read the fairytales. That's what he had gone on about. He started talking about the origin of the Snow White tale. We ended up on the topic of Disney production and animations from the Great Depression where a lot of it started.
"What are you sorry for?" I asked sitting up.
He laughed slightly. "We missed the whole movie."
I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder. "Don't be sorry, Spence. I love hearing you talk. I really don't mind." I could feel his cheeks move against the top of my head as he smiled. His arm wrapped around me and he then laid his head on mine.
I was getting sleepy, almost falling asleep in his arms before he moved. "Are you tired?"
I nodded. "A little."
"It's almost 2 am. We should probably go to bed."
"But we don't have work tomorrow. I wanna stay here with you," I said quietly, putting my head back on his shoulder.
"But you need sleep Y/n. You're significantly less likely to function normally with sleep deprivation. Seratonin levels drop in the frontal cortex which affects a lot of your voluntary actions, like speaking, moving, focusing. You won't..." I ended up losing what he was saying after that, beginning to fall asleep again. "Y/n," he woke me up. "Let's get you to your bed."
"Okay, fine. I'll go to sleep, only if you take the bed this time," I bargained. He rolled his eyes slightly, a small smile on his face.
"It's fine Y/n. I really don't mind the couch," he tried to counter.
"Well, I do mind. You sleep on the couch whenever we're together. Which is almost every night. You take the bed tonight."
"Y/n, it's your bed."
"Mhm, and I make the rules. Get up there pretty boy," I said as I laid my head on the arm of the couch, closing my eyes and preparing myself for rest. He sighed and stood up. Just as I thought he finally admitted defeat. I felt his arms slide under me, swiftly lifting me up. My eyes shot open in surprise as he carried me bridal style to my bedroom.
"Spencer," I laughed. He placed me on my bed, smiling before turning to leave. "Nuh-uh. Get your butt back over here." He paused and turned around. "At least share the bed. It's big enough for the both of us." I patted the side next to me, inviting him to come over. He looked as if he were considering it. "Pleeeeeassse."
He gave a look of defeat and walked over to the bed. He got in next to me and got comfortable. I smiled in achievement. We laid face to face for a little as I found myself getting more nervous at his closeness. He was looking at me with what looked like adoration. Or maybe that's was just me wishing, but either way, I began blushing, unable to fight it this time.
I was looking into his eyes when he laughed quietly.
"What?" I asked, quickly getting embarrassed.
"Nothing, it's just..." he trailed off. I couldn't tell what he was thinking as he brought his hand up to my face, brushing some of my hair behind my ears. His eyes glanced down at my lips momentarily, then back up to my eyes. "I really like you Y/n."
His confession made my breath catch immediately. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you-"
I cut him off as I impulsively pressed my lips to his. His hand rested on my cheek, pulling me closer to him. Our kiss started off shy, like both of us were almost scared to move, but Spencer lifted himself up onto his elbow pushing himself further against me. My hand trailed into his hair, deepening our kiss as we became more confident.
I had wanted to kiss him for weeks, and now that I finally was, I was savoring the moment as much as I could. My tongue brushed against his bottom lip and he sighed, now moving his tongue against mine. My head tilted, trying to pull him closer to me. His chest pressed against mine as I wrapped my leg around his.
I knew we needed to stop before we got too carried away, but I didn't want to pull away from him. We held the kiss for a few more seconds before he probably got the same idea and slowly pulled back.
We looked into each other's eyes for a while, breathing heavily. My face was flushed and in the dark, I could see that he was too. Slowly, I broke into a cheeky smile, laying my head on his shoulder. "I really like you too, Spence," I said quietly as I buried my face into his neck, my hand still in his hair.
His arm wrapped around my body, keeping me close. I could feel his heart racing and his breathing heavily. He probably had wanted this as long as I had.
We stayed that way for a few minutes before I began to get sleepy again. I pulled my head from his shoulder and laid against the pillow as he did the same, only inches from my face. He was still smiling with his arm around me.
"We agree to not tell the team right?" I asked, beginning to feel sleep take over.
"Definitely," he answered quietly. Only seconds after, I fell asleep in Spencer's comforting arms, his face the last thing I saw before drifting away.
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Okay, that was a little rushed but still cute. I think I want to write another imagines book but with Spencer. I already have ideas, but I wanted to ask a quick question. How would you guys feel if I wrote some smut chapters? I had been thinking about it and I wrote one for my other story, but how would you guys feel if I wrote a few on here?
I hope you all have a great day! Please vote and comment! Love you guys!!