The journey home was much shorter than their original trip had been; the checkpoints waved them through after cursory examinations, since it was highly unlikely they had left the heart of Homeworld's space with anything threatening. The biggest problem they had to contend with was boredom. The worst had already happened; there was nothing to anticipate, nothing to plan for, Sabrina felt. She did not let herself hope that Mara might achieve Scotty's restoration. Another disappointment would shatter her.
Ford was unusually quiet, and she wondered why but was too listless to ask. When she had time to adjust to her loss, she knew she would find in him some of what she had depended on Scotty for, but for now she was still trying to wrap her mind around the concept of life without her brother. That she had been right to oppose the download was no comfort at all; in fact it seemed to add to her grief, as if she had somehow brought disaster on him by predicting it.
She would go home to Earth, she decided, for a little while. Not to her old life, which would hold no comfort, but to see Cynthia, who would look after her with a friend's gentle care and grieve with her for a young Scotty only they were left to remember. And when she felt strong enough, she would go to Aunt Euphrasia and tell her that Scotty was dead. And after that....
She didn't know. Except that she had to come back to Praxatillus eventually. That was where her duty lay, and her family, including the wreck of what had been her brother.
On the third night of their journey, she woke screaming from a nightmare in which she was trapped in the shuttle in a Pharon Way again, but instead of Tirqwin's corpse in her arms, she held Scotty's lifeless form, staring sightlessly up at her. She lay still for a moment, concentrating on breathing and calming herself.
The door to her room slid open, and she lifted her head, expecting to find Ford there. But it was Rudolf instead. "Do you require assistance?" the little android asked her.
"No. No, I'm all right," she said. "Where is Ford?"
"We are preparing for emergence," Rudolf replied.
"Oh. Good. Tell him I'll be right there," Sabrina said, sliding out of bed. Rudolf departed, and she had a quick sonic shower and got dressed. When she was halfway down the corridor to the control deck, she felt the moment of slight disorientation that signified they had emerged into normal space.
"We're there?" she asked as she emerged onto the control deck. Ford was at the main console, looking tired. He gave her a brief smile, nodding, and went back to the controls. Sabrina took a seat out of his way and watched as the wallscreen displayed their progress through the Praxera system.
"It looks so peaceful from here," she sighed.
"That's because it is," Ford said, sounding surprised.
She gave a little hmph. "I have to get used to the concept. I remember this space as being a hotbed of galactic turmoil. If not Xoentrols, then Homeworld, and if not Homeworld, then Reissians."
"Those days are over," he said.
"I know. They have been for your lifetime. But it's not so long ago for me," she said. She thought about that for a while. "I wonder if it would have been easier then. To lose him. I was adjusted to the idea back then. Loss was something we all dealt with almost daily. I was prepared to die myself, and I certainly knew he was in a high-risk job. Nine years of relative safety spoiled me, I think. I never expected this."
"I don't think anybody really ever does expect it, Sabrina. But you certainly did have a right to expect better from your return to Praxatillus."
"This wasn't Praxatillus' fault. I blame Varla—and Malvarak." She hugged herself, suddenly cold. "He's still out there somewhere, isn't he?"
"Probably," Ford admitted. "It's...one of the things Homeworld said they would probably use me for. To track him down. On the theory that my setup would be less familiar to him, and therefore less susceptible to him, than a normal Wayship and Tirqwin."
Sabrina sighed, then sat up straight suddenly and looked at him. "Ford," she said.
"What?"
She waited until he actually looked up from the controls and met her gaze before saying, "Insist on full disclosure from Homeworld before you let them send you after him. He has...resources that would be far more—more dangerous to you than to a Tirqwin and Wayship."
"But he doesn't know what would be dangerous to me," Ford assured her.
"He knows enough. He spent time with us, Ford, while Mara was still learning. He knows a lot about Miahns, and about her abilities. And about crystal." She hesitated, then sighed. "Just...don't go after him without telling me, okay?"
He sounded amused. "Sabrina, I'm sure Homeworld would give me any pertinent information."
"I'm not," she retorted. "Nobody would give it to me when I needed it."
"Things have changed."
"Yes, and the secret's just gotten older. There are fewer people who remember. Promise me that you'll tell me if you ever go after him."
"I'm sure Mother or Father would—"
"They weren't there!" Sabrina nearly shouted. She took a deep breath and tried to get herself under control. "Look. I'm just trying to—to prevent another tragedy. I can't—I've had all the loss I can stand for a while. A long while. You've been so good to me; please let me return the favor."
"All right," he said after a moment, clearly patronizing her. "I won't go after Malvarak without letting you know."
She picked up on the vague wording immediately. "I'm not talking about leaving me a message, Ford. You have to talk to me and let me tell you—warn you about some things."
"Why don't you just do it now?" he demanded, exasperated.
"Because I can't. I promised."
"What will be different if I come to you later?"
"I'll get permission to tell you."
"What if I don't have time for that? Any sighting of Malvarak is going to demand immediate attention."
She took a deep breath. "Then I'll break my promise, and try to get permission retroactively. Ford, this is important."
"All right," he sighed. "I'll make sure I talk to you in real-time before I go after him. If I ever do. Homeworld may well deal with him in some other way, after all."
"I doubt it, but I hope so," she said. She looked at him and tried to imagine what Pharon crystal contamination would do to a Miahn. It was bad enough in a Wayfarer—she remembered Tirqwin's illness clearly—but it had to be ten times worse for someone whose entire life had been permeated by the Great Crystal. What would happen to him if he were contaminated? He would die, perhaps, or be driven permanently insane. Like Scotty.
As she gazed at him, his expression softened. "Sabrina," he said, gently chiding. "It's going to be all right."
"I don't know how you can say that," she muttered, and then realized that her cheeks were wet. "Not even Mara can accurately predict the future."
"It wasn't a prediction," he said, smiling wryly. "It was more a desperate attempt to get you to stop looking at me like that. I can't bring you home crying. Mother would have my head on a platter, to use an Earth phrase. Where does that come from, anyway? Cannibalism?"
"No. It's a Biblical reference. John the Baptist, I think. I'll look it up for you when we get home," she promised wearily.
"Well, we're almost there," he said. "Just coming into orbit."
She looked at the screen again, at the blue planet swathed in gentle wispy white clouds, and smiled wistfully. It was a good cause, she thought. If Scotty had to give his life—or his sanity, which came down to the same thing—at least it had been for something worthwhile. Not just piloting some fast new jet or playing war games or any of the innumerable things that could have killed him on Earth. It meant something, and would be remembered and honored.
"We've beat Father and Khediva home, evidently," Ford remarked. He spoke briefly with Praxatillus Control before moving into a parking orbit. "Where do you want to go? Directly to your apartment?"
"Actually, I'd like to take a walk outside. I've been cooped up in artificial environments too long. I want to feel dirt beneath my feet and breathe fresh air and look at a wide horizon."
"Sounds good to me," he smiled. "Reissach's Cove?"
"Wonderful."
——————————
So they stood on the rocky beach and watched the waves roll in, enjoying the feel of being outdoors. "I always forget about the smells," Sabrina said. "Whenever I've had to be on a Wayship or something like that for a long time, I forget how wonderful planets can smell. And the sea...that's the best of all."
"I know what you mean," Ford said. "And your home planet always smells the best."
"Probably an evolutionary thing," Sabrina remarked.
"Nah," Ford said. She turned to look curiously at him, and he grinned. "I think it's just sentiment, myself."
She realized he was teasing her and resisted an impulse to elbow him. "I thought you were supposed to be a scientist."
"That doesn't mean I have to take everything seriously, you know."
"I guess not."
"You sound surprised."
"I guess I just think of Miahns as people who take everything seriously."
"I told you I was the black sheep of the family."
"Well now that I'm back, you can stop usurping my role."
Ford burst out laughing. "You were never the black sheep of anything, Sabrina Devon!"
A shout on the wind caught their attention, and they turned to see Marie flying across the beach toward them. She launched herself at Ford with alarming velocity, and Sabrina took a step back as Ford caught her and swung her around, both siblings grinning wildly.
"What did you bring me?" Marie demanded as he set her on her own feet again.
Ford laughed. "Nothing, brat! Well, except Sabrina."
Marie pouted at him for a second, then turned to Sabrina and gave her an enthusiastic hug. "I'm glad you're back, Sabrina! Even if it means I have to give Tristan back."
"How is he?" Sabrina asked.
"He's great. He's been sleeping on my pillow!" Marie reported proudly. "That means he likes me, right?"
"Definitely," Sabrina confirmed. "Did you sleep in my room, then?"
"No. We took him to the nursery 'cause they were working on your rooms and he didn't like the noise and smells."
"The redecoration! I completely forgot," Sabrina said.
"It looks nice," Marie said. "Come and see!" She tugged at Sabrina's hand. Sabrina and Ford exchanged amused glances as they followed the girl up toward the palace wall.