Warning: Sex Scene coming up in this chapter.
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Ava felt more like herself on the third day after the curse was broken. Other than that she felt weak and unsure of who she was meant to be now. The only constant was Raoul and even her feelings towards him had dimmed.
She didn't have time to wonder why, as the festivities were in full swing. Decorations were hung at every corner and snow began to fall just outside her and Raoul's bedroom window.
Raoul walked into the bedroom from the ensuite bathroom and looked at his mate lying on her stomach in the huge king size bed.
"Are you getting up today?" Raoul asked rubbing her back.
"I don't know."
Raoul kissed the back of her head and moved to get dressed.
"There will be a feast tonight. Lots of food and drink, even dancing. You don't have to participate, Ava, but your presence is important tonight."
Ava turned to look at her mate. He used to seem more appealing to her but now, it was like she was moving through the motions. She sat up and looked at him. He was perfect. The kind of mate anyone would kill to have. But she didn't feel anything. There was just numbness.
Raoul walked back to the bed and looked at Ava. He knew what she was thinking. They had both been thinking it since she came back from the ritual.
"My father told us you wouldn't feel like yourself for awhile. It's what happens to werewolves when they lose a part of themselves. You've just lost a part of you, that wasn't even meant to be for you."
Ava nodded. She understood it logically but when she looked at him she didn't feel love just blank numbness.
"When do I get to feel like I love you again? Because I don't feel that."
Raoul looked at her, a sad smile forming on his face.
"When these feelings pass and when you start to feel like yourself again. Maybe if we start looking at the gifts the Moon Goddess actually gave you. You may feel some of the pieces come back together."
Ava kissed Raoul's cheek before she sunk back into the bed.
"Maybe tomorrow."
Raoul watched as Ava picked up his pillow to hug close to her, but turn away from him burying herself as deep as she could go in the bed. He stood and walked to the door to go down stairs for breakfast. He was worried about her, but knew they would get through this. He would hold onto her even harder every time she took a step back from him. He could feel their wolves holding on, but the human parts of them were in separation.
He loved her more than he loved himself, so this was the only thing he knew he could do.
As he walked into the dining hall, the long stretch of table and chairs were overflowing with people, as every body in the castle had come to feast on the holiday breakfast.
Raoul made his way to his family who were seated on the far side of the table being served piles of food, coffee or tea and juice. His cousins had piled stacks of pancakes drenched in syrup on a plate before shoving large bites into their mouths. It was always the same every single holiday. Nothing had ever changed, until this holiday. He had a mate.
Raoul sat down next to his father who looked over at him in greeting, smiling widely so that his white teeth glinted with mischief.
"Good Morning, son, how did you sleep?"
Raoul shrugged his shoulders and started piling food onto a large plate.
"How's Ava?" His mother asked.
Raoul sighed and poured syrup over his food.
"Still not sleeping and yet, sleeping too much."
"She's recovering. What she went through was enough to shake her equilibrium to its foundation." His father murmured.
"It's going to take time. A mate can't stop loving their mate over something like this. It is just temporary." His mother smiled kindly at him.
Raoul nodded and force fed himself the food on his plate. It was good food and didn't taste like cardboard to him anymore.
The first day after the completion of the ritual had Ava yelling at him, screaming at him trying to hurt him or push him away. She was heard throughout the castle. That day had many giving him sympathetic looks. What they didn't see was that Ava had broken down, apologising, asking for forgiveness for a long time after that. He had held her and let her cry. He then had lifted her into his arms and taken her into the shower to wash away the tears and pain down the drain and losen any stiff muscles she had.
The second day, Ava didn't bother getting out of bed. At the end of the day, Raoul had picked her off the bed and dumped her into a hot bath while maids came in to strip the bed and change the sheets.
After he scrubbed his mates back and stayed with her as she scrubbed her body, he waited with her while she stepped into the shower to wash and rinse off her long hair. He had wrapped her in a clean, fluffy robe and dried her hair. But after the bed was made, she climbed into it naked wrapping the sheets around her and closing her eyes. She had stayed like that until he got in with her later that night.
"It doesn't feel temporary. I just hope tonight might bring her some joy. Even if she just laughs once or smiles. It doesn't even have to last very long."
Raoul finished his breakfast and sipped on his coffee. His family didn't talk to him after that. It wasn't something you could help a person with, you could only be there to watch over them as they went through it.
Raoul stood, said his goodbyes to his family and went back to his room.
His father watched on until he disappeared around the corner.
"We will watch over them both. No matter what happens now." Vittoria said.
*****
Back in his room, Raoul could see his mate laying wrapped in his sheets. A fire was burning in the fireplace and a small breakfast tray had been left on the small antique table he had by the wall length windows.
Ava snored softly still holding onto his pillow. He toed off his shoes, pulled off his shirt and pants and slipped into bed again. He reached for the pillow and put it behind him before he reached for his mate. Settling her in his arms he breathed her in and held her tightly to him. She stirred in her sleep but wrapped her arms around him tightly before she calmed down again. Raoul smiled and closed his eyes.
There wasn't much he could do for her. He didn't know if his presence offered her any comfort, as she did for him. It was what he needed right now. Hopefully, Ava would and could start to feel his feelings for her and in turn feel her feelings again for him. He would wait. She loved him deep down, so he would wait.
"Raoul?"
"Yeah, baby, what's wrong?" He peered down at her, squeezing tighter.
"Nothing. I'm just glad your here."
Raoul heard her sigh before she settled deeper into sleep again. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, hoping they would find each other in their dreams.
*****
Later that day as the festivities started, Raoul and Ava slept on as sleep was the only place that brought them any comfort away from the pain.
Music echoed, drinks were poured and the biggest celebratory feast had been laid out. But still they slept. None the wiser, and at peace.
The Moon Goddess kept her children with her. For one night only. And then she would send them back. She watched them play as wolves, then as children and then as lovers. She watched as Ava began to heal and the joy she had come back through. It's the ease and healing of dreams.
The Moon Goddess walked to them, holding out her arms as she did so. She held them close for a moment as she contemplated what to say next. They stepped back to look at her.
"What is it?" Raoul asked.
"The war is not over."
"How so?" Ava asked.
"Nyx was never one to give up so easily. She may have lost her connection to you, Ava, but it doesn't mean her plans would have been forgotten."
"We have to go back, don't we."
"Yes, you were always meant to go back. But maybe when you wake, you will feel more like yourself. Pure, innocent but still very powerful. You will know how best to help in this next stage, Ava. All is well."
Ava hugged the Moon Goddess close to her for a moment before stepping into Raoul's arms.
"It's time to wake now, Ava, Raoul, go now."
As the Moon Goddess began to fade, Ava and Raoul felt themselves drift downward before they felt themselves merge with their bodies. Awaking and holding each other close, they started to laugh. Ava climbed on top of Raoul who was now wearing nothing like her and kissed him. As she felt their bodies begin to merge, she felt warm inside. Raoul shifted until he had Ava on her back and pressed himself deeper into her. As they moaned together he started to move, building the pace slow at first before moving faster.
Raoul kissed Ava as she came hard, swallowing her screams, while moving inside of her until they both stilled and collapsed on the bed.
Raoul turned to breathe in Ava and stopped a moment to sniff the air again. He smelt blood. As he quickly moved off the bed, he tore off the sheets to look down at the bed and then at Ava.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I wasn't thinking. I...it...didn't feel as painful as I thought it would."
"Ava, that's not an excuse."
"It's true. We already did stuff while we were dreaming...this didn't feel any different and then I just forgot."
Raoul climbed back on the bed and lifted Ava into his arms.
"Your having a hot shower and then I'm drawing you a bath and dealing with these sheets."
Ava laughed and held onto her mate tighter.
"You know what's funny?"
Raoul glared down at Ava, not finding the situation in the least bit funny.
"What?" He said.
"I feel a lot better. Maybe I just needed to be with you to feel like myself again."
Raoul looked down at Ava and kissed her hard on the forehead.
"Hmm...you still should've said something. That's not how I imagined your real first time to be."
Ava laughed as he placed her in the shower and turned on the cold water. Screaming she dragged him in the shower and kissed him.
"Then my second time will just have to be more special."
Raoul grumbled under his breath, but left the shower stall drenched to deal with the bloodied sheets. All the while listening to his mates laughter.
She was starting to feel more like herself again.
And he was glad.
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