𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 || 𝘉𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦
THERE HAD BEEN A BUILD OF SILENCE IN THE APARTMENT BESIDES A FEW SOUNDS. Natasha had settled at the kitchen table, nibbling on the tip of her finger. She could hear the tap in the bathroom running, a deep sigh coming from the room as she tried to wrap her mind around everything happening at once. Swarming her mind like the Chitauri invading New York a year ago.
She hadn't made any move to tell Fury or anyone of Jaxon's sudden arrival back in her life. There was no telling what type of problems if she did considering the man down the hall was supposed to be dead. No one just comes back to the land of the living when presumed dead. There had to be some reason behind it, a reason behind how he couldn't remember anything beyond the helicopter crash. A deep stab to her heart, staring at a man she knew all too well, but not having that same sight reciprocated by the man she had never stopped loving, even when he left.
Jaxon had found a way to carve himself into the veins belonging to Natasha and slip himself into the woman's bloodstream. Becoming the cause for Natasha's rapid heartbeat whenever they saw one another, once upon a time. Becoming the serotonin that always made her grin like a lovestruck teenager. He was the oxytocin that released whenever they shared a bed every night and showed their love to one another. Always be filled with dopamine when they harmlessly flirted before they had even considered a relationship together, for good reason. Never caring to be out in the open as long as they had one another. Jaxon had become the drug that Natasha had needed day in and day out when they were together.
But after so long of them not seeing one another, it felt foreign. Everything about Jaxon felt different, even more, different than when they were together, clearly on the opposite teams as he was an assassin and she was the person a part of an organization that hunted people like him down. Nothing about his entrance back into her life felt the tiniest bit of normal like he once gave her. And when he stared at her, confused and lost, she knew that she needed to help him remember. Help him remember her.
The bathroom door opened, her gaze lifting from the ring sat around her finger and to Jaxon who walked down the small hall entering the dining room connected to the kitchen and living room. A black t-shirt hugging his chest with a pair of shorts around his waist. She had offered to go grab him a razor to shave the grizzly beard, but he declined. As bad as it was, Natasha was warming up to the look.
His shaggy black hair was wet from the shower he had taken, a few strands clinging to his forehead as he brushed them out of his vision. Arms covered in old and new scars that a pinkish white to them as they had heeled over and tried to blend in. Everything about him seemed the same besides his mind. But his eyes stayed connected to a photo that had Natasha sitting up in her spot. It had been of them in Italy in their hotel room, both naked under the blankets with Jaxon pressed against her back, nipping at her shoulder with his eyes focused on the camera.
There was a small smile on Jaxon's lips as he stared at the photo, something about just the photo bringing that memory to him. Remembering how Natasha continued to whine, begging him to look up at the camera, which he grudgingly did so. Not able to help the smile that had formed on his lips when seeing the large one on her lips.
"Thanks for letting me have a shower." He smiled, finally looking away from the photo and up at her and Natasha felt those forgotten bubbles of love pop in her gut. There were two things that she was certain of, the smile hadn't changed a single bit, still as genuine as before. And his voice still had the softness that always managed to put her to sleep after a long and tiresome day.
In some way, the man that stood in front of her was the same person who she loved. But there were pieces of him chipped off, his usual gracefulness that he had moving around the apartment was gone. Now, he was cautious, occasionally glancing around, scanning to make sure there were no threats. He was paranoid.
"No problem." Natasha smiled shakily, sitting up in her chair as Jaxon pulled out a chair in front of her and took a seat. Sighing as he placed the clothes he had been wearing in the duffle bag that held weapons, passports and cash. The source of them was still unknown to Natasha, but she wouldn't try and pry too much into it. With how Jaxon's old line of work went, he often liked to keep all that at the back of her mind.
"So, you don't remember anything before you woke up?" Natasha continued the conversation that they had started after the man got the jump on her. Jaxon shook his head. "Everything is a blur beside you. I ran into a Harry Brogan, I'm guessing I knew him as well."
There was a hint of relief that washed over Natasha as she shifted in her seat. Well, at least something about this situation was good. "Do you remember who was on that helicopter with you?"
A frown formed on Jaxon's face, instantly giving the answer Natasha needed. Sighing as she rose from her seat at the table and placed her hands on her hips. "Were you followed?"
Jaxon let out a short chuckle, standing to his feet as well. The sound had caused Natasha to inhale sharply, having missed that sound. A shiver ran up and down her spine, remembering how his raspy and husky chuckle would wake her up from her slumber some nights. "If there was one thing I know Natasha, it's the fact that my old skills are second nature. So, no, I wasn't followed." He reassured her, crossing his arms over his chest as she turned to him.
Their eyes stayed fixated on one another, seeming to go back to their old ways of trying to read one another. The process usually being a success for Natasha, but this time, neither of them were getting the advantage. They were both on the same ground now, let with the questions brewing in Jaxon's mind and the very few answers Natasha had in a locked box in her mind.
Under his warm gaze, Natasha hugged herself, still feeling the cold wrap around her. "What do you know so far?" She whispered, walking around him and in the direction of the kitchen. Needing to use the island to divide them, the space she needed so she didn't feel like she was suffocating under his eyes and presence.
Jaxon's eyes followed her, feeling the constant and inconceivable pull towards the woman. It became borderline painful, not being able to just grab her and hold her. He knew it wasn't right, a lot of himself was gone, waiting to be unlocked. And before he could hold her, comfort her, reassure her that he was still the man that left for whatever reason who still loved her, he needed the truth. With or without her help. In the end, he would always end up coming straight back to her.
"I was an ex-HYDRA agent, an assassin then." Natasha nodded in confirmation of his words, happy that Fury hadn't known of her relationship with the man. "You were a part of the Quantum program for a while when you met me. You never told me much and I didn't pry because I trusted you."
Licking her lips, she tasted the salty tears on her tongue. Something in the way her words came out made her sound bitter. All because this man had decided to push her away when he probably could've used her help. Now, it left her crying over what could have been. Making a quick movement to wipe them with the back of her hands, but Jaxon saw them. Closing the space between them, making his way around the island to stand by her side. As cautious as possible, he grasped one of her hands, earning a sharp inhale as she froze.
The touch was electrifying, but it didn't enable her to pull away. Only melt under it as she let her emerald eyes meet his copper ones. But he was more focused on her hand, turning it over and tracing the centre of her palm with his fingers. She held in a breath as he dragged his fingers across her palm, up her slender fingers, then off the tip of her nails.
A small smile was on his lips as he laughed softly. "Right before I ran into Harry's after I broke into his house-" a tiny and soft laugh escaped Natasha as she pursed her lips, trying to hide the wide grin on her lips. "-your fingers nails were all I could feel across my back."
There was no stopping the knowing smile to form on Jaxon's lips as he let his eyes flicker to Natasha's. Smiling wider at the faintest pink that warmed her cheeks as she fully turned to him. Hesitantly cupping his face and brushing a few strands from his eyes. Brushing her thumbs against his cheekbones as she smiled sadly, more tears brimming in her eyes.
If this was all some dream - although she knew it wasn't - she didn't want to wake up. Staying here, with Jaxon was better than whatever awaited her in the real world. Her being here could allow her to make up for old times missed between them, help him remember everything that he didn't. Everything she wanted and needed was right in the palm of her hands. "I wish I didn't let you push me away."
Hearing that, Jaxon couldn't help himself but pull the woman by the waist into a warm embrace. A long-awaited one that Jaxon didn't know how much Natasha had needed for so long. Her chest found itself in the centre of his chest, still smelling the fresh pine from him. The same shampoo she hadn't gotten rid of, just waiting in the shower for when he got back to use so she could be in a slightly drunken state of his scent.
And for this moment, everything just seemed right between them. Jaxon felt the familiar feeling that he'd been craving and Natasha was given a second chance with the man she loved. And neither was willing to give that up, even if it killing someone to keep it.