Georgia's POV
The world convinced me that love was beautiful. That the intoxicated high of falling in love was worth it.
I entered a world of romance novels, rom-coms, love songs and spider-man movies. All things which made me think I would find my 'soulmate'.
I wasn't supposed to believe in that stuff. Growing up I never did.
And then I met him. He was wild and boyish. When he laughed a smile enveloped his face, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. He had this infectious spirit and a way with words.
He could always captivate people on the silliest things. He enthralled me, I had never met a soul quite like him. It was fate, the chance that our two distinct paths would merge into one.
The two of us were inseparable since the moment we became friends. I thought no matter what happened in each of our lives, we would always be friends. Until right now.
Our undying friendship was suddenly ending? Was it ending? In my mind it was. Who knows where his head was at. It had to be ending. How could I let it go on like this?
I hated myself that I let it get to this point. I hated now that I had to wonder what he was thinking, but couldn't ask. We used to just tell each other everything. Times had obviously changed.
Getting over him is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The pain and tears I spent on him were well worth it, but I also looked forward to a life without the toxicity. Without the fighting, crying, then making up. If this was goodbye, maybe it's for the best. I needed a break.
I tried to convince myself that I could manage without him, but I was lying to myself. I have no idea who am I without him. Before I knew him, I didn't know me.
When I met him, I found me. I found a me I liked. I found a me I wanted to be.
And now that he hasn't been around to inspire that same me, she's gone. I am broken without him.
It's hard to look back on the memories we shared and let them fade to dust. Knowing that from my point of view, there was nothing in this world I wouldn't do to be with him.
Maybe it was time for me to say goodbye to the times we shared. Even if it was hard to say that word, even if he didn't agree, even if he thought I was out of my mind, it had to be done. I couldn't go on, not like this.
Not seeing with her, as they slowly fell for each other. I didn't want to constantly be thinking, that should be me.
For the first time in a long time, I was putting myself first.
It wasn't my job anymore to try and fix everything that went wrong between us. It never was. But I did it anyway, only because I cared so much about everything being perfect. I was done trying to do that.
Just like this party. As it continued to go on, I wanted to leave so badly. But Marcus and I kept talking in that isolated bedroom as I hashed out all my unopened feelings. All he did was listen and nod assuringly, but it's what I needed.
It felt like hours had passed in that room when it had only been minutes. After all that time, still no one had even come down the hall, maybe it really was the most secluded room in the house? I hoped that was true.
It wasn't. Classic me, I always thought too soon. So as the door opened wide, I wasn't surprised.
I was in fact surprised by a tipsy Pat standing there, with his arms wrapped around her. Their hands entangled in one another as they entered in a rush.
I jumped back with a hand to my heart, having gotten a fright from the sudden disturbance.
Nothing could describe the feeling I got when he walked in. The ache in my heart. A hand twisting my chest into knots at the thought of why they came into this room.
Pat turned to make eye contact with me. His fist were clenched around the doorknob, making his knuckles turn white. His eyes stone cold, glaring at me, daring me to make my next move.
He was so enraged, and I didn't understand why. I was the one who should be angry with all of this, and with him. Not the other way around.
I stared at him, searching for an answer to explain his attitude. And when his mouth opened, he did that on his own. The words he hurled at us were doomed from the beginning.
"What the hell is this?" He yelled through rage. As he did, he signalled for her to leave the room while it was still peaceful.
"What do you mean?" I fired back at him boldly, unimpressed with the attitude directed at me.
"You two are a thing now?" He questioned.
Now it made sense.
"What, no. Marcus was just comforting me" I said back in shock.
"Bullshit " He growled at me with rage I never knew he had inside him.
Even in the dim light I could see his eyes flickering like embers. He was a different person entirely. Aggressive and overly intimidating.
I couldn't understand where this was coming from. I didn't see a problem in our proximity, we're only friends. It even slightly offended me that Pat would even suggest such a thing.
Neither Marcus or I were happy about the accusations being thrown our way. This was made very clear as he decided to chime in.
"Mate you don't know what you're talking about" Marcus spoke in defence of him and I. He then stepped toward Pat with a hand which met his chest, in an attempt to calm him down.
No. There was no way I was going to let him think it's okay to come storming in, throwing accusations at us. I had done nothing wrong, so why should I be made to feel like I had.
"You know what, you're one to talk" I stepped up to defend myself. Even if Marcus and I were together, which we weren't, why would he care? He made it clear he was taken.
"What did I do!" He yelled back.
"You brought that girl tonight Pat! How is that supposed to make me feel!" I shouted at him with hostility. I wanted to put on a brave face, but inside and out, I began to shatter.
"Well you're here with Marcus!" He howled, pointing at Marcus with disgust.
"Marcus and I are not together! He was cheering me up after I saw you and that girl all over each other" I cried out.
"What? Why would you be upset about that" He quietened down in response.
"You know what, I can't do this right now" I shook my head, and sped out of the room.
"Georgia! Wait!" Pat called out as he ran after me.
I walked past the commotion of people still dancing away. I pushed my way through with great struggle. Nobody wanted to move, not even after seeing me in tears.
That was until Pat followed me through, calling my name over the music. Only then did the party quiet down as everyone listened in intently.
Full of embarrassment at the attention, my face flushed red. I began walking even faster, dreaming of the space and fresh air there was outside.
Once I pushed open the door, I walked speedily down the driveway. I didn't end up making it very far. I only got half way down when Pat grabbed my wrist and spun me around swiftly.
Now, standing only meters apart on the front lawn of this unfamiliar home, there was no words. As he reacted to my tears, the words left his head.
"What Pat!" I shouted at him, waiting for something, anything.
"We need to talk about this" He suggested, using his arms expressively.
"There is nothing to talk about. Just leave me alone" I told him sternly in an attempt to walk away from him, but he never gave up.
"Is that what we're doing now? We have one bad conversation and we don't talk for days?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders.
Why didn't he understand?
"Pat you brought another girl to this party, and if I wasn't in that room when you walked in, who knows what would have happened" I lashed out at him, my emotions getting the better of me. Again.
I focused on his face in front of me, but behind him I noticed a group of people who had followed us out. Josh and Marcus stood on the steps waiting to see what unfolded. While Zac, Jack and Bella stood further back, also watching on worriedly.
"How can you be mad when you told me to go for it!" He responded emotively.
"Because I thought that's what you wanted me to say" I answered with intent.
"Why would you think that?" Pat asked, his eyes turned downward in an attempt to show confusion.
This was not good. I could feel, deep down in my gut, this was not good. It was the conversation I had been avoiding for good reason. Of course it wasn't going to end well.
"You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter anyway" I tried to end it there, but Pat persisted with the argument, even after seeing how much it was hurting me.
"Georgia what is it. You can talk to me" He declared, trying to reach forward for my hand, but I snatched it back.
"No I can't Pat. I can't talk to you about anything anymore" I explained to him with a strain in my voice.
"What? Of course you can" He moved his head back, reacting to the words which had cut him deep.
"No I can't!" I yelled once more at him. Why didn't he get it. We weren't the same anymore, I thought that was clear.
"Why not?" He urged in a softer tone.
"Because you walk in the room and all I want to do is avoid you. I see your face, and I instantly feel like crying. Pat, of course everything has changed" I told him hesitantly, refusing to let on too much. "It was always going to change" I added.
"I don't feel that way" He shook his head in disagreement.
"Come on Pat. After Brownlow night, everything changed" I hinted at that night, hoping his lack of awareness would change.
"But it didn't have to change George" He suggested naively.
"Then why did you kiss me? You had to have known that was going to change something" I demanded an answer from him. Maybe this was the clarity I needed to let go.
"I've already said that was a mistake. If I had known it would lead us here, I wouldn't have done it" Pat proclaimed, his distress becoming clear. I knew he just wanted to fix this, but I was afraid we were already too far gone.
"Right. Well I think we've got that all sorted then" I gave in, wanting the pain of the conversation to end there.
"Georgia no we haven't. We need to talk about this"
Why was he so relentless? I just wanted him to leave me alone before it went too far.
"There is nothing else to talk about" I spoke coldly.
"There is. Clearly you're upset. I want to know why" Pat persisted, stepping closer again, in an attempt to reconcile.
"Because you kissed me Pat. You kissed me and then you left. I just thought, maybe, that it would have meant something to you, the way it did to me" I told him, realising I might have let too much slip.
The pressure of it was starting to get me.
The first signs of the panic arrive. It's a discomfort in my chest, a feeling in my brain like excess caffeine...then it sets in deeper. I feel the urge to run, escape, hide. The constricted feelings just grow, as if I am strangled by just the air about me.
I don't think I can hold this off much longer.
"What do you mean?" He looked stunned at my words but still, he hadn't caught on.
"Are you that stupid" Marcus piped up in the background.
Oh no.
Leaving the stairs behind, he shook of Josh who gripped onto his arm, trying to hold him back. Marcus's frustration was clear as he strutted over and joined my side.
"Marcus don't" I pleaded with him, panic in my eyes. It wasn't his decision to make which left me frustrated, and once he got angry, I couldn't stop him.
At first, I thought to myself, this couldn't be it. It's not how I wanted to tell him, or where. But, I did agree that this had to come out. And if not now, when?
I tried to be angry at Marcus for ruining it, but the other part of me felt relieved that it was out. Even if I now had to deal with the damage done.
I watched as Marcus stared violently toward Pat before opening his mouth to reveal the truth.
"It's because she's in love with you Pat! How can you not see it" He shouted out, my head shot down instantly. Knowing it was coming hadn't made it any easier.
"W-What?" Pat stuttered, trying to understand what he had heard.
"Georgia I'm sorry, but enough is enough. I can't watch you two like this anymore" Marcus apologised, I nodded at him understandingly.
"George?....Is that true?" Pat questioned, fumbling over his words. The state of shock he was in worsened his ability to speak.
I struggled to look him in the eyes, as water filled mine. How do I explain this?
"Um. Well yeah. It is" I gave in to the fears I had.
"You love me?" He responded in disarray.
"Yeah I do Pat. I've always been in love with you" I surrendered. My words broke up and all I could say were stuttering sounds. My watery eyes closed and a single tear, as clear as spring water flowed down my cheeks.
"Why are you telling me this now?" He responded quickly. I read his face and all I could see was pure disbelief.
"I'm sick of keeping this to myself. I'm not scared anymore Pat....of ruining our friendship or you not saying it back. I just....love you, and I've wanted to tell you that for the longest time" I declared after all of this time.
My clear tone was undercut with a choking heaviness that forced me to pause several times. Hot tears streamed down my face, and I squeezed my eyelids shut in the hope the tears would stop.
I made direct eye contact with him, hoping it would draw us closer to one another. Yet his eyes were snatched away once again at the sound of the front door opening.
Steph stepped out, placing herself in between the two groups of my friends. She stared at the two of us confusedly, adjusting to the sombre mood in the air.
"Pat are you coming back inside?" She asked, succumbing to a worried tone.
"I'll be in in a second" Pat answered her, forcing a smile.
"Ok well, just come find me I guess" She replied and left to go back inside.
His chest rose and fell as a deep sigh exited his mouth. I focused on him as he processed it all. His stress became clear as he rubbed his forehead back and fourth with his thumb and index finger.
"Pat?" I asked, but my hope was quickly evaporating.
I saw something change in his eyes. The look that made me hopeful was slowly disintegrating into guilt. It was a sign. My heart sank.
"Georgia.....I-I can't" His speech faltered, lowering his volume for only my ears.
Regret took human form in that moment, and it was the face staring back at me.
I freeze, trying to comprehend what just came out of his mouth. Then my anger formed into more tears.
I knew it was too late, this was the fate I had been avoiding.
........
A/N
Ok ok ok....I know it's bad. Actually it's worse than bad, it's pretty awful. Absolutely a heartbreaking end to this chapter 💔
But honestly, poor Georgia. She finally said I love you and Pat didn't say it back. I can't even imagine how painful that would be for her. I'm sure you're all wanting to hug her right about now 😔
You probably also want to yell at Crippa for making this mess. But you're probably not surprised that he has stuffed up, AGAIN. He's broken her heart AGAIN, and it's hard to understand why when you know he loves her too.
But don't give up on this slow burn yet 😂
Regardless of all of that, I hope you still enjoyed! See you on Thursday!
Thanks again!