The air in the research station felt funny to Sabrina; the atmosphere had a slightly different composition than Ford's ship, which was set to Praxatillus normal. Ford had assured her that it wouldn't harm them, and that she'd adjust to the slightly lower level of oxygen gradually. Sabrina remembered reading once about a team climbing Mt. Everest and how they had made camp for a couple of weeks partway up to give their bodies time to adjust to the thinner air. She supposed she'd be tired at first, but she'd adjust.
Ford led her through the little antechamber off the airlock and into a larger room, where two people awaited them. Tirqwin was nowhere to be seen; Sabrina didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.
"Sabrina," Ford said, "this is Hatmashetu Bakuri, director of station operations, and Dr. Shekeri Renkayta, head of the genetic research department." He switched to the Wayfarer language, which Sabrina didn't understand well, and introduced her.
"Khediva, are you there? Can you translate for me?" she murmured, panicked at the thought of not being able to talk to Scotty's doctors herself.
"I'm here, child," Khediva's voice said. Sabrina heard her as if she were in the room, but none of the others seemed to. Suddenly she could understand what Bakuri was saying.
"—but you should have discussed it with me before you left."
"Yes, sir," Ford said. "I apologize for not consulting you. But I was afraid if I brought it up through official channels, I'd get an official 'no.' I thought once she was here it would be harder for them to deny permission."
"You made a mistake," Bakuri said, his voice stern but dispassionate. "If we had not already been pushing our request through channels, you would have been denied, and your attempt could have cast doubt on the wisdom of this experiment. But, it is done."
Renkayta said, "It's not quite done. I'm glad I do not have to be the one to inform the Tirqwin. You had better get that over with before you come to the lab; I won't allow that sort of scene to interrupt my team."
"Yes, I agree," Ford said. He looked down at Sabrina. "Did you understand any of that?"
"Yes," she said. "Let's get it over with. Where is Tirqwin? Does he know we're here?"
"No," Bakuri said. "Unless his Wayship has told him."
"She hasn't," Sabrina said.
Bakuri and Renkayta looked at her, astonished. Sabrina glanced at Ford, wondering if she'd made a blunder, but then Renkayta said, "Of course. You lived aboard her along with your brother. She speaks to you."
There was a note of respect in her voice. Sabrina wondered if speaking to Wayships was considered unusual.
"I will ask the Tirqwin to come here," Bakuri said as he and Renkayta left, obviously unwilling to witness the scene they were expecting.
"Khediva?" Sabrina said aloud.
"Yes, Sabrina. It will not be pleasant, I am afraid," Khediva said.
Ford heard her too this time. "I'm sorry, Khediva. But I knew he'd never let me if I told him what I was going to do."
"I know," Khediva sighed. "And you were right, Niavar. But do not expect him to admit it."
"I won't argue with him. I promised Sabrina," Ford replied, grimacing.
Khediva was silent for a moment. Then she said, "Well. This should be interesting in more ways than one, then."
Sabrina heard footsteps in the corridor and grabbed Ford's hand. They shared a quick glance and then moved apart, facing the door as Tirqwin entered.
"Ni—" He stopped in mid-word, focusing on Sabrina in shock.
Sabrina's own gaze was hardly less astonished. She'd never seen him look so gaunt, so disheveled. She realized in a moment of horrible clarity that part of his refusal to let her come was rooted in the fact that he didn't want her to see him like this. We should have warned him, given him a few minutes, she thought, even as she stepped forward, her arms outstretched, and cried involuntarily, "Tirqwin! You look terrible!"
It was exactly the wrong thing to say, she knew as soon as the words left her mouth. "But I'm glad to see you," she added, dropping her arms as she realized he was not going to submit to, much less return, an embrace.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded, his gray eyes flashing with anger.
"You know what I'm doing here," she replied, as calmly as she could.
Tirqwin's gaze turned to Ford, anger heating to fury. "I told you not to bring her here! You disobeyed me!"
"Fa—" Ford began, before catching Sabrina's eye and breaking off. He bowed his head, taking a deep breath.
"Well?" Tirqwin demanded.
"I'm sorry for disobeying you," Ford said sincerely.
"But you are not sorry you brought her!" Tirqwin said bitterly. Ford remained silent.
Sabrina stepped forward. "Tirqwin, this is not about Ford."
"This is between me and my son. Do not dare interfere in that!" Tirqwin snapped.
"Why not?" Sabrina retorted. "You've been interfering between me and my brother!"
Tirqwin's head snapped around to look at her, finally granting her his full attention. Something in her quailed at being the focus of so much anger, but she plowed ahead. "I made the decision to come here because my brother needs me. Ford had the grace to respect my decision. So did Mara. I expect no less from you."
"You do not know what the situation is here, Sabrina. You do not have the information to make this decision. You should have trusted that I was making the correct one for you!"
"I did," Sabrina said. "I never doubted that you were acting for my welfare. Even to the point of it interfering with Scotty's."
Tirqwin's voice trembled, more with hurt than anger now, she thought. "How can you say that? How can you accuse me of not acting in Scotty's interest? Do you think for a moment that he wants you here, witnessing this?"
"No," Sabrina said. "He'd do exactly what you have done. And I would have fought him on it, too." She stepped closer to him, hesitated, then reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "Tirqwin, you don't remember when you were so sick on Allyria, do you."
He shook his head. The anger was seeping out of him, replaced with confusion and hurt and resignation. He really was exhausted, she realized. "They wouldn't let us see you. I fretted and I stormed and I pleaded until they let us. I didn't give up. And when I did see you and you didn't know me, I cried. It hurt. It hurt a lot. But I kept going to see you, even though it hurt. Do you know why?"
"Why?" he whispered.
"Because knowing was still better than wondering, no matter how painful."
Tirqwin looked at her, as if struggling with an idea. Sabrina continued, "The tears I cried after seeing you weren't nearly as bad as the ones when I had to wonder how you were. I'd imagine the worst and blame myself, think maybe it wouldn't have happened if I'd been faster, smarter, something. But when I saw you—you didn't know me, didn't know Scotty or even Mara or Khediva or anybody. But you were alive. You were alive." She gripped his other arm too and swallowed against remembered grief and pain. "There was that hope, to give me hope. Can you understand? This is why I have to see Scotty. I have to see that he's alive. I have to let that give me hope. I can't wonder anymore, Tirqwin. It hurts too much."
Tirqwin lifted a hand to her face and gently stroked her cheek, looking down at her with his old affection. "Sabrina," he said softly, "I would never deny you balm for your pain. Never. But this is different. There is a long way to go before Scotty is well, if he ever is. I cannot watch you lose him piece by piece, day by day. Come and see him, and then go home and wait. Please."
Sabrina looked down, swallowing tears and taking a deep breath to steady her voice. Then she looked up at Tirqwin and said, "Tirqwin, when I was back on Praxatillus, Mara said to me that I'd never loved her enough to let her make her own decisions. Don't let me think that about you."
She held his gaze, willing him to understand, until she saw a tear slowly trickling down his cheek. She didn't think she'd ever seen him cry before. She had not meant to hurt him like that. A little sob of sympathy and regret escaped her.
Tirqwin drew her into his arms and held her tightly, one hand resting lightly on her hair. "Can you doubt how much I love you, Sabrina? You are my family. You taught me how to live. I would never withhold anything from you, anything that you needed. I would give my last breath to keep you safe, to shield you from pain."
"I know," she choked. "I know." She pulled back so she could look at him again. "But I need to face this pain, Tirqwin. I need you to let me do it. To help me do it. Please."
"Ask me for anything else, Sabrina," he pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Tirqwin. But this is the sacrifice I need from you."
Tirqwin let out a long, heavy sigh. "All right. You may stay, as long as you wish it. As long as you can bear it."
"Thank you," Sabrina said, and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. She smiled at him, then frowned a little. "When was the last time you ate anything, Tirqwin?"
He frowned, then shrugged. Sabrina said, "Khediva, when was the last time he ate anything?"
"Two standard cycles," Khediva replied.
"And how long since he's slept?"
"Four standard cycles."
"Well," Sabrina said, "I don't know what a standard cycle is around here, but that sounds far too long on both counts. Tirqwin, let's go see Scotty, and then you are going aboard Khediva to eat, rest, and let her take care of you—and no arguing about it, or I'll have you sedated. And don't you think I won't!"
Tirqwin managed a wry chuckle. "On the contrary, I am certain you would! You will be running the station by the time I wake up, I fear."
"I don't care about running the station," Sabrina pointed out. "All I care about is getting my family well. Come on, take me to Scotty."
Tirqwin nodded and began to lead her from the room. Sabrina turned and stretched out her hand toward Ford, who was standing awkwardly in one corner. "Ford?" she called softly.
He looked a question at her, and she nodded, keeping her hand outstretched. He walked forward and took it, and the three of them left together.