Mitsuya's POV
"I'm pregnant," Hayami suddenly said as she entered my office. We haven't seen each other for two weeks after I went public with what she did.
I looked at her, "is this another lie of yours? If it is, I'm sick of it."
"No, I'm really pregnant Takashi," she pleaded, "please, come back to me. We will build our own family!"
"You really have the audacity to say that after what you did?" I scoffed
"I only did it because I love you!" she pointed out but I just shook my head, "I swear to God, if you'll leave I will abort this! This is your own child!"
That's how she made me stay. I may be mad at her but she's carrying my child. My own blood. But I had my doubts, I regret cheating with her in the first place, and now, a physical reminder of my mistakes. Will I ever be a good father?
Somebody sent me an unknown text message which made me doubt even more
From: Unknown
Are you sure you are the father of Hayami's child?
I tried contacting it but nobody answered me. I don't know if she's been with other men as everybody knows how obsessed she is with me, but I won't be shocked if she asked someone to get her pregnant to push me to the corner. As far as I know, she was on pills too. But even so, I don't want to leave her alone, especially because there's no guarantee yet that it's not mine.
"I don't want that child to carry my surname," I straight-up told her which made her shock, "if that's really mine, you won't mind, right? As long as I'm around her."
She gulped and nodded. She'd do anything I'll ask her to do just so I won't leave.
But the first time I held Yua in my arms, I admit, I immediately got attached to the child. She looks so vulnerable while I'm holding her, making me want to protect her from this cruel world. Mine or not, I grew to love her with every single day I spent with her.
"Honestly though, she looks nothing like you," Yuzuha pointed out, Hakkai's sister, "not even a single feature of her looks like you."
"You're so mean, Yuzuha," Hakkai countered, "she's still a toddler, she'll probably look like Taka-chan when she grows up."
"Dumb motherfucker," Yuzuha rolled her eyes, "that's not how it works."
I stared at Yua who got busy playing with her dolls and sighed, "it doesn't really matter if my blood runs in her veins, right? I love her as my own."
"Aren't you curious? Why don't you run a DNA test?"
I contemplated on Yuzuha's question, but decided against it. Does it really matter anyway? My life's fifty shades fucked up and Yua is the only good thing that kept me sane, or so I thought.
I thought I've accepted my fate of being miserable and fucked up, not until I saw her again, with a child who is everything Yua is not
"Y/N?" I clarified, although aside from the fact that she looks more mature now and prettier, nothing much changed with her physical appearance
"I'm sorry again," she simply said and walked back to their table and there I saw everyone. I walked outside the restaurant since Hakkai is waiting for me in the car
"Hakkai, she's back," I said while spacing out
"Who?" Hakkai asked innocently, how I wish Yuzuha was sitting beside me now. She gets things easily, I don't have to explain.
"Y/N, who else? Your brother?" I rolled my eyes and started the car
"Oh," he nodded, "OH?! DID YOU TALK?!"
See, slow as ever.
It didn't stop there. In a toy shop, while looking for a toy for my friend's child, I saw a kid with the same hair color as me. If Luna and Mana were still kids, I'd mistake her for them.
I went to her and bent down, "hey, what's your name? I'm your mama's friend, uncle Mitsuya."
Uncle, that shit hurts.
"My name is Miwa! Are you also friends with papa Miwey?" Papa? Mikey? She looks nothing like him, I guess Mikey stood beside her as her father, huh? Something I should have done myself.
"Yes, I am," I smiled although it hurts being this close to her yet feeling so far from her. I don't even know anything about her except her name. She's more likely four years old, if I did my math right, "you like mermaids?"
She showed me the toy she is holding, "this one is fwom bawbie mewmaid she swoosh through the watew! I want to be mewmaid too!" she explained and I just smiled while listening to her
"Mika," we both looked at her and she tried avoiding me, as if I wasn't there. So, Mika is her name, I see.
"Bye bye, uncle Mitsuwa!" she enthusiastically said before leaving and I swear I'd give everything to have her call me her papa instead.
"She's mine, isn't she? She looks just like Mana and Luna before." she is, I know she is.
"No. You only made her, but you are never her father because if you were, you would have been there!"
Right. It was I who wasted the years we worked together. All for one girl, all for empty pleasures and stupid temptations. I would have lived happily now, waking up beside the girl I love and the daughter we have, but I blew that up.
I drove to Hayami's place to visit Yua and saw that the child was left alone again. I guess I should really start hiring a babysitter for her. Lately, Hayami's been going out more often but I didn't mind. I don't really care about her anyway.
"Daddy, can we go to the park? I want to play," she asked and I smiled and nodded at her request
"Yua!" I called when she tripped and worse is, it was Y/N who helped her up, "I told you to wait for me!"
She looked at me and smiled, like it's such a normal thing or something she expected. She's probably thinking I ended up with Hayami and Yua is our child.
She left and I saw her call Mika, and Mikey hugged both of them. I tried to focus my attention on Yua but I always ended up spacing out so she got mad and asked me to drive her home. Hayami was already there when I dropped Yua off and tried to make me stay for dinner.
"Hayami, is Yua really mine?" I asked her, now that Mika is here everything just feels different between her and Yua
"What kind of question is that, Takashi? Of course she's yours!" she answered defensively but can't look at me straight in the eyes
Liar.
I shook my head, I know her too well and her little mannerisms whenever she gets caught in the act, "you deceived me, again. Stay the fuck away from me, Hayami. You disgust me."
She chased after me but I left right away, I wasted four years and wasn't even beside Mika because of her sick game
"Try visiting them tomorrow, I don't think Y/N is the type to keep Mika away from you just because you fucked up as a boyfriend," Yuzuha said, "I don't know her personally but she's not as bad as Hayami, so I'll give her that."
So I did. I was so happy when Mika came out and recognized me, she even left her toy with me.
"Uncle Mitsuwa!" she called while coming down the stairs. I stood up and carried her, she's still struggling going down on her own, "thank you!"
"You're welcome, princess," I sat on the couch and placed her on my lap, "so what's your favorites?"
I want to know her better. I want to know her to a point I could finally say I'm really her father. I want her to be a part of me.
"I like Wapunzel! I also like, hmm, Elsa! Let it go!" she cheerfully talked about the things she liked – from disneys, to colors and shapes.
I fell in love with her right away, aside from the fact that she's definitely my child, she was raised well by Y/N. I fell in love with how she talked about the things she loves, how she sees the world with her little eyes. She reminds me so much of Y/N way back in middle school.
"She has a weak heart," Y/N told me and my heart shattered
It must have been hard for her to hear that news before, huh? I wish I was there and held her hand as we take it in together.
"We won't lose her, right?"
I don't mind her looking for Mikey because I know he was there from the start. I don't mind her talking about disney as if I never saw it myself. I don't mind her asking for chicken or tucking her to bed to make her feel safe.
I don't mind, as long as I'll get to see her grow up into a healthy girl. I want to see her reach her dreams and spend the rest of her years with me. I want to walk her down the aisle if she falls in love with someone. I don't want to lose her.
"What are you doing here?" Mikey asked as soon as he came inside the house
"Gonna cook breakfast for them, why?" I answered as I walked inside the kitchen
He walked faster and quickly took the frying pan, "I can cook for them, you can fuck off now."
I glared at him, "didn't ask you too, I can cook for my daughter."
"Oh, suddenly she's your daughter?" he laughed sarcastically and pointed me, "where were you for the last four years?"
"None of your concern, now move," I answered
We fought until we saw Y/N while carrying Mika, "get out of my kitchen and play with Mika instead."
I immediately walked to them and carried Mika, "let's watch disney, love, you want?"
"Yes!" she immediately flashed her most beautiful smile which makes my heart melt
We sat on the floor as we played Moana. We sang the songs together while Mikey is frowning, hah! He probably doesn't know the lyrics to this one!
Draken came and took Mika, and even left the door open for us if we want to bicker more. Mikey closed the door as we head towards the kitchen and I heard him say, "love, I'm hungry," and Y/N fed him with a whole pancake.
I looked at them, are they together? I sighed and looked away. I guess I should just be satisfied with being Mika's father. After all, I don't deserve it but she gave it to me. It's stupid to even ask for more, right?
It hurts whenever I Mika and Mikey get so close to the point they really look like father and daughter. One would really mistake it if they have no idea but I swallowed the pain away. As long as I get to be a part of her world, that's enough for me.
"From now on, it's not uncle Mitsuya. It's dada Takashi," Y/N said and I bit my lip to contain my smile. Damn, I earned it.
And I feel so alive whenever Mika calls me that. Whenever she asks for cuddles, or hugs or hands me her dolls to hold it for her. I feel like she finally welcomed me to her world as her father and that means so much to me.
Y/N and Mika are definitely my dream come true and if I could give everything I own to have them in my arms, I would. Without any doubt, I would.
"I don't know what happened between both of you but go fight for her, Takashi. You might regret losing her too."
I don't regret anything except losing you. It's you, it always has been.
"Hayami and I were never a thing. She was just.. there."
Because that was the time when I felt lost. I don't know if I'm happy with what I am doing, I felt pressured by my mother, I was filled with responsibilities as the eldest. And Hayami, she was there, and I gave in.
"I was there, too." she said, her voice now broken and I just wanted to punch myself for hurting her like that
How could you ever hurt someone who gives their one hundred percent just to save you? I don't know too, I was just plain dumb.
"Hi," she greeted, her tone higher than usual. Is she drunk? "I just.. I miss you."
"Y/N, who are you calling?" my brows furrowed, who was that? "Let's go, I'll take you home. You're so drunk."
I immediately grabbed my keys from my desk and ran out, "Y/N, who's that? Where are you? Are you drunk?"
I tracked her location and saw that she's only a block away from me
"No! I want Takashi!" she started yelling like a kid, "I don't like you!"
"He wants someone else, now let's go," I heard the other person say which made me almost punch my steering wheel
"Fuck. Stay there, baby. I don't want anyone else, I only want you," I assured her
Ryuguji Y/N, it's you. It's always you. Yesterday, today and tomorrow will always be you for me.
I carried her to her room and wiped her with wet towel. I went out just to check on Mika and saw that she's sleeping peacefully. I went back to Y/N's room and took one pillow and laid on the floor so I could take care of her in the morning. It caused me severe back pain as soon as I woke up but I got up so I could cook.
"Dada?" Mika asked while rubbing her eyes and still holding on the door knob of her room
"Good morning, princess," I bent down and fixed her hair with my fingers, "my baby's sleepy?"
She shook her head, "want disney."
"Okay, you watch while dada cook, hmm?" I asked her and she nodded
I carried her downstairs and made her sit on the couch and played Tangled. She fell asleep after a few minutes, I just chuckled and went to the kitchen. I made her hangover soup and just got Mika some cereal.
While I was stirring the soup, I heard little footsteps going to the kitchen, "dada, hungwy Miwa."
"Is cereal okay, love? I also made soup for mama," I told her and she nodded
"Want ceweal and mama," she sleepily said making me chuckle. I turned off the stove and settled everything on the tray.
"Well then baby, can you carefully go upstairs and go to mama's room? Dada will bring the food," I told her and she nodded
"Dada, go park later with mama. I want play slide!" she demanded before walking away, not even giving me a chance to decline. Not that I would anyway, she's the boss now.
She got upstairs first since I checked again if I had everything I need to cure her hangover. This should do it.
When I walked inside her room, they were lying together which made me smile. God, what I would give to wake up to this kind of view every single day?
"How dare you steal my daddy?" I looked up and saw Yua's eyes full of sadness
Y/N tried to take Mika away to give us some space but she pulled Mika and pushed her, making Mika cry which makes it hard for her to breathe
"Yua, you're too much!" I yelled, but I tried to tone it down somehow, "say sorry to Mika."
"No! Mommy said they destroyed our family, I will not say sorry!"
Y/N took Mika away to help her calm down while I held Yua's arms, "Yua, this is too much. Daddy already told you that you have a sister, right?"
I met up with her once to tell her about Mika, but I never saw any hint of happiness since then.
"You don't love Yua anymore, you only love her," she cried and tried pushing me off, "you hurt me!" she screamed as she ran away
I looked at her as she disappeared from my vision, Hayami did well feeding her with anger and lies.
"Is she.." Y/N started and bit her lip but I saw how her eyes glistened as she was trying to hold back her tears, "is she yours?"
I don't know either. I could never find it in my heart to do some DNA test on her, whether or not she's my daughter, I love Yua. I spent four years with her, and she's too much to handle but I can't blame her. She spends most of her time with Hayami and who knows what she fed Yua just to make me not leave her.
I've always had my doubts, I never voiced them out because to me, it was unnecessary. Not until my own daughter is in a critical condition because of a situation she isn't to be blamed while I am holding a piece of paper that confirmed everything.
Ryuguji Mikaela and Hayami Yua, 0.00% match – negative.
My world fell apart, regrets kicking in. How could Hayami do this to me? How shitty is that?
She held me so tight as I weep my heart out. She made me feel whole even though I was crumbling to pieces. Fuck, this is such a sick game to play.
When the doctor told us the news about Mika, I couldn't handle it anymore and went out. I drove to Hayami's place with the paper still in my hand. I saw Draken's bike tailing my car and I couldn't care less.
I knocked on her door harshly, she opened with a smile which angered me more. I threw the envelope on her face, "seriously, Hayami?"
She looks confused and read the paper, she immediately felt scared and I can see it through her eyes, "Takashi, I–"
"I lost four years! Four fucking years with my daughter because of your fucked up lie!" I screamed, I saw Yua peeking but I went on anyway, "it's not about who her father really is, goddamn! I love her as my own but how the fuck could your conscience handle this?! I stayed away from Y/N because you told me you were pregnant!"
"Takashi, I love you, I.." she sobbed so hard, "I can't live without you. We were happy, right? Before she came back, we were happy!"
"You're delusional," Draken said from the back, standing with Mikey
"Nii san," Hayami called out and went to him but Draken only stared at her coldly, "please, I don't want to lose Takashi–"
"Did you ever think of that when you slapped Mika and told her insulting words?" Mikey asked, "she's just a child, you stupid shit. And yet you dragged her into this mess!"
She tried holding Draken's arm but Draken pushed her, causing her to fall on the ground, "I only have one sister, and that's Y/N."
"No, I am your sister, too," she cried, "Takashi, Yua is your daughter too.."
"I have no anger towards Yua, if that's what you're pointing out," I said as I walked to my car, "but keep your shit away from me and my family or I swear to God I'll make your life a living hell."
"And I'll be Satan to rule over it," Mikey said with a smirk
We waited for Mika to finally wake up and thank God, she did. It was a relief, I could finally sleep peacefully again but Y/N woke me up because of a call. I mindlessly answered it and heard Yua right away.
"D-daddy," she sobbed, "mommy, b-blood. Help."
Suicidal, she is suicidal. I know that, I always did. But how selfish could she get to let Yua see this?
I rushed to her place and went upstairs. She was on the tub, full of blood while Yua is sitting in the floor, crying. I hushed her and carried Hayami while Yua followed us. They immediately took her to the ICU as she is critical. I hushed Yua who was about to faint now because she can't stop crying.
"Yua?" Y/N called her and gave her a hug. She even carried Yua to calm her down
I looked at my blood-stained clothes and decided to wash myself up. A part of me blames myself for what she did and for Yua's trauma. I went home and cried in the shower, don't I deserve to be happy?
I went back to the hospital and saw that she was taking care of both Yua and Mika. I sighed, how could I drag her into this?
"It's not your fault," she whispered while hugging me, "it's not your fault, baby. Please don't blame yourself too much. This is not just your fight, but also mine. Let's face problems together now, hmm?"
She cupped my face and stared deeply into my eyes. I nodded and rested my forehead on hers. I hugged her waist, pulling her close to me.
I'm home, I'm finally home.
"Together, my love," I whispered, "we'll fight together this time."
Even if one day the sun will decide not to shine its light on us, I would still choose to fight with you. Even if the world will throw us reasons after reasons not to be with you, you'll always be my sole reason to stay.
Y/N, you are my light. Without you, I am nothing but an empty void. A dark circle of sadness. You turned it all around and gave me a reason to keep on going.
My love.
My raison d'etre.