I was awoken by Marie in the morning, despite the light that had apparently been streaming through my windows. She was brisk in terms of getting me up and moving, and spoke little except to ask me to raise my feet so she could button my shoes on. She bobbed and left, and I tried to distract myself from my thoughts. I had been unable to sleep for most of the night, my mind whirling as fast as Zachary had spun me around the reading room. I had heard my parents having a discussion throughout the night, their words muffled but I could hear when their voices were raised, when Mother broke down in tears, when Father left the room and slammed the door.
Needless to say, my night had not been very restful.
I sat at my vanity, trying to find something to occupy my mind. I did not travel with many cosmetics, some powder and a light rouge. My pot of rose cold cream, a small bottle of Florida water and a hairbrush. I picked up the Florida water, pouring a little into my hands and running it through my hair. I brushed it in, the citrus scent perfuming the air. Just a slight scent though, I had always heard from Mother and the other older ladies that heavy perfume was the mark of a loose woman.
I jumped when a knock sounded, the brush clattering out of my hand, off the edge of the vanity and onto the carpeted floor. I dropped to my knees to grab it. "Just a moment!" I called out, standing and reaching for the shared door. Mother was still in bed, but Father had made his way to their table and begun eating. "Father, I am going to breakfast."
"Anastasia, we need to talk about what happened last night." He set down his fork, blotting at his face with his napkin. "I have half a mind to lock you up here to keep him away from you."
"Father, please, I have promised Mr. Murdoch an early breakfast. Zachary is probably sleeping off his hangover."
"Mr. Murdoch, that would be the officer escorting you, correct?"
"Yes, Father and he is here right now to take me up." I looked back over my shoulder toward my own cabin door. "Please Father, I cannot leave him waiting."
Father stood, coming over to look down at me. I tried to summon a brave smile, as if last night's events had been put firmly behind me and would never bother me again. I felt him pick up my hands, bringing them up and kissing them lightly. "I will not keep you. When he goes on watch your mother will meet you at the officer's promenade, you are to stay with her all day until he can come back." He brought his hand up to my cheek. "He must be enjoying your company quite a bit if he's willing to take you to breakfast."
"Father, Mr. Murdoch has been nothing but kind to me these past few days and I have enjoyed spending time with him. He even helped me back to my cabin last night, and what does it matter if I enjoy his company? You've never tried to limit who I associate with."
He held up a hand to interrupt my tirade."I jest my dear, but we shall see how kind he is after he watches you devour half the breakfast table." Father chuckled, "Go on, enjoy yourself." I spun back, letting the light white cotton of my skirt settle before opening the door. Will was standing there, running his fingers through his hair while he held his cap in the other hand.
I closed the door behind me as I stepped out. "Good morning, Will."
"Anastasia, I hope your ankle is better." He offered me his arm.
"Much, although I will be glad to lean on you a bit." I replied, letting him walk us, slowly, up to the dining saloon. It was fairly empty, early rising was not a habit of most of the ton. We ordered our food and were assured it would come quickly due to the lack of patrons at the moment. I took a drink of water before I spoke again. "Thank you for last night, you didn't have to stay."
"It wouldn't have been right to leave you like that." Will said, his voice gentle. "Besides, I just couldn't stand to see you that way. Not over him."
"Yes, well, I'm afraid I was a bit more upset at myself."
"That's foolish." Will placed his cap on an unoccupied chair before continuing. "You did nothing wrong, he was the one who acted beyond what he should have." I could see him bite his lip before muttering, "If only I could have grabbed the Master-At-Arms from what he was doing."
"Pardon?"
"There was an incident last night that necessitated the Master-At-Arms to intervene. After I left you I went to go find him to determine if something could be done about your situation but he was attending to that, so I was unable to."
I leaned forward, "That was nice of you, but tell me, what happened? Nothing serious, I hope."
Will cast a glance around, pitching his voice low so that I had to lean even further in. "Miss DeWitt Bukater and a steerage passenger were caught on the stern deck. She said he saved her when she fell over the railing while looking at the screws, but from what I hear he was found on top of her, lying on the deck, with his shoes and jacket removed."
"No, you must be joking." I couldn't help the little gasp. An engaged society woman, possibly about to be violated by a steerage passenger and she invents a whole rescue story? By God, was he actually trying to force himself? Or did she actually fall and almost die? It made what happened to me last night seem so trivial by comparison. An unwanted dance had sent me quivering like a jelly.
"I hear they even invited him to dine here tonight." Will grinned, "You'll have to give me a report on how everything goes, the other officers are quite curious about what exactly went on." Our waiter then showed up with the food and conversation fell by the wayside as we set to. The steward paced a bowl of oatmeal and a plate of smoked salmon in front of Will, with a glass of orange juice. My order wound up taking up the majority of the table; bacon, grilled sausage, fried eggs, cornbread and honey, with a glass of milk.
Will looked up from his oatmeal. "Will you eat all of that?"
I had already polished off the plate of bacon, "Oh yes, I quite enjoy breakfast."
"I'm amazed you can eat anything the rest of the day."
"Sometimes I forget to eat lunch, so I find it better to eat a large breakfast." I swallowed before smiling at him, reaching for the fried eggs. Delicious, perfectly seasoned and they went well with the grilled sausage I paired them with on my fork. I saved the cornbread for the last, sopping up the last bit of honey with it. The steward fairly goggled when he came back to our table, plates clean and stacked for him. We sat for a few more moments, and I almost fell asleep before I heard Will's chair move back.
"I hate to interrupt your nap, but my watch begins soon. Shall we?"
I took his arm, "That is the drawback to a large breakfast, all you want to do is go back to sleep." He gave a laugh at that,
When we reached the boat deck, a ways away from the officer's promenade where I could see Mother waiting, I pulled Will aside. "I think I am going use your method to help myself avoid a re-occurrance of my spell last night."
"My method?"
"Distraction, I shall find various tasks to distract myself all day and keep my mind away from thinking about it. I shall write a letter, and take tea, and read a book. And perhaps a nap."
"And if your unwanted admirer shows himself?"
"Well, I certainly won't invent some story about him rescuing me while I was looking at the propellers. I shall find my parents, my Father specifically, or run to my cabin and shut myself in." I tried to sound confident, to be sure of myself.
But I must have given something away, for Will gently took my hand. "If only there was something we could do to have him locked in the brig for the rest of the voyage. As it is, I cannot have him locked up because he was making you dance with him."
"Perhaps if I hit him?"
"Then it might be you in the brig." Will chuckled, leading me back out onto the promenade. The day was breezy, and slightly chilly. I was glad for the wool jacket I wore, and the layer of petticoats protecting my legs, the wind blew right through the thin material of my skirt. It was a short walk until we reached Mother by the gate to the officer's promenade. Will tipped his cap. "Mrs. Dalian, your daughter to be returned to your custody."
"Thank you Officer Murdoch." She nodded, the stuffed bluejay on her hat straining to stay upright against the wind. "I was hoping Mr. Murdoch, in light of the service you provided for Anastasia last night, you would accept an invitation to the restaurant for dinner tomorrow night."
Will stepped forward to the gate, "I would enjoy it, Mrs. Dalian. Please, send a steward for me when you have the time and I will be there." I gave him a wave as he stepped around, back toward the bridge.
A similarly dressed man exited, coming towards us. "Excuse me, ladies."
I recognized the voice. "Second Officer Lightoller, I hope you're doing well."
He stopped, looking at me. "Ah, Miss Dalian. A pleasure to see you, Mr. Murdoch has been filled with nothing but praise for your daughter, Ma'am." He said turning to Mother. "I can certainly see where she gets her good looks from."
"Why Mr. Lightoller, you flatter me." Mother demurred. "I do hope Mr. Murdoch has not praised my daughter too highly. I should hate for her to be thinking too much of herself."
"Not at all, he speaks only of her beauty, wit, and kindness." Lightoller caught my eye as he gave a crooked smile. I could feel heat rush to my face and ducked to hide my blush.
"Well, give him my thanks for his compliments." Mother said, "We will not delay you any longer."
"Ladies." Officer Lightoller touched his cap, moving down to what I could recognize as the mess.
We had already started back down the deck when she turned to me. "Have you made the acquaintance of all the officers onboard this ship?"
"Only those two Mother, I spoke to Mr. Lightoller yesterday morning when trying to find Mr. Murdoch."
"Mr. Murdoch reminds me very much of Captain Hector. Do you remember when your father took him, fresh off the boat, hadn't even changed his clothes yet, and sat him right down in Sherry's for dinner?"
I laughed. "Mrs. Guggenheim wouldn't even look at you for a month."
"And when we went to her party she complained of the smell of fish the whole time she was near us." Mother chuckled. "It is rather fun to tweak her nose."
"I wonder how everyone will react to the young Miss DeWitt Bukater's guest tonight." I mused, looking out toward the horizon. Now that was a major faux pas for ths first class, associating with the lower classes, especially on a ship like this where everything felt even more stratified than back on land.
"Her guest?" Mother paused, looking curiously at me. I quickly filled her in on what Will had told me, and her face grew rather pale at hearing about Rose's trials. "And she is bringing him to dinner in the saloon tonight?"
"Yes, I wonder what he will do."
A more snobbish woman would have refused to even consider being in the same room. But Mother had come up to her current status from being a shopkeeper's daughter, lucky to have been noticed by Father on a train switch. So in terms of inviting the lower class to her table, she was very forward thinking. Our ship captains, and even some crew members, received invitations to family dinners almost as soon as their ships tied up. The ladies from much older families often gave her grief, asking how she could stand to be around men who smelled of sweat and coal. Mother let them have their fun, but she always reminded me. These men leave their families behind and risk their lives for our company, it is so little to offer them a warm meal and a willing ear.
Mother stepped back from the rail to continue on. "I am sure he will do quite well. Now, shall we return to where we were so rudely interrupted last night?" With that we set off for the reading room, which this time was actually filled with women quietly scratching away at letters. I myself took a sheet of paper and a pen, setting down in a chair to write.
Ezekiel,
I hope you are doing well, and your family too. This letter should reach you fairly quickly I hope, after all I am writing it on the mail ship! I hope you will have time to come see the ship before she leaves again. She is so grand, and everything is beautiful. Even the lavatories are beautiful! The food is far beyond even what I am used to, I shall have to get our cook to try and copy something the next time you come over.
Are you still setting out with Abraham? I thought I had heard something about him finally judging you worthy of your own vessel, but I cannot remember. Even so, I am glad to have you close for the moment. To have a friend to speak to about everything that has happened. I told you briefly of what we wanted to accomplish on this trip, and I must report that we were unsuccessful. The most knowledgeable doctors we went to could find nothing wrong with Father, physically or emotionally. And I have more bad news, the Reichsters are onboard this ship and he still refuses to accept defeat.
If you meet us at the dock, do you think you could accidentally throw him into the harbor?
I hesitate to write this, but I know how much your family has tried to set us up despite our reluctance. I have met someone onboard. He is an officer, and he has been kind to me and I feel that he might fancy me. I find that I already fancy him. I am unsure of how to proceed, I have so little experience in these matters. Perhaps an offer to come visit our home while the ship is docked? But please, tell your mother that she can stop pushing you at me, that I consider you far more a sibling than a suitor. I know we agreed to that with each other long ago, but your mother is nothing if not persistent.
Your loving friend,
Anastasia
P.S Give your love to your Mother and siblings for me.
I folded the letter up, obtained an envelope and dropped it into the Royal Mail box. More than likely this letter wouldn't get opened until Ezekiel and his father returned from their latest trip. His little brother Joshua might have already started out with them. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the Fields family and their Biblical names. A paternal tradition, apparently, it had lead to Ezekiel, Joshua, David, Rachel and Mary receiving endless rounds of teasing from the other children. Abraham had been sailing for Father since before I was born, the two were quite close, and I had latched onto his children as a substitute for my lack of siblings.
We were rather wild when we were young, and I provided the backing for our crazy trips. Father didn't notice when I took a few dollars from his billfold, but Mother did notice when I didn't show at the dinner party she was holding. And when a police officer brought us back from Coney Island, dropping us off in shame at the front door.
Ezekiel, David, Rachel and I had wanted to go to the place for so long but our parents had forbid it. So we did it ourselves, we rode the steeplechase and saw the wild animals and ate ice cream until we were sick. But an officer had cornered us, demanding to know where our parents were and we broke immediately into tears. Confronted with five crying children, his solution was to haul us back to my house and leave us for our parents to deal with. We had all received a rather firm spanking and it had almost led to a split between our families.
Us children were forbidden from seeing each other, but two weeks later Ezekiel had rowed a boat up to the docks near the house, snuck up over the wall into a courtyard, and managed to get inside. He had come straight to Father and presented him with full payment for what we had taken, and told him that he was so sorry but he wanted to fix things between our families, so could Anastasia come out to play right now?
Father had melted like butter, and our families were soon the closest of friends again.
Mother had apparently been roped into taking tea with Mrs. DeWitt Bukater and her group, the Countess of Rothes and Lucille. So I found myself in the Parisian Cafe again, nibbling on a tea sandwich while listening to them prattle on. We had only made a brief stop in our cabins to grab a hat for me, a delightful white confection of silk and lace, with a small veil across the front edge. Of course, one couldn't take tea without a hat. We had barely sat down before Mother excused herself, saying she had forgot something in her cabin. I placed a small amount of sugar and cream in my cup, watching those around us.
"I have seen Zachary Reichster onboard, do you know each other?" Mrs. DeWitt Bukater inquired as she stirred her own tea. "I would think with both of you being in the New York set and your families engaged in the same business you would."
I almost dropped my cup. "We are acquainted."
"He would be a good match for you, I would think. A chance to combine your family businesses." Mrs. DeWitt Bukater gave me a smile and I'm sure she expected me to simper and gently beg for her assistance. After all, what single society girl wouldn't want a helping hand in snaring a rich, handsome man?
"Oh I don't know, Mrs DeWitt Bukater. Zachary has so many women chasing after him, I'm sure I would only be another nuisance." I tried to pass it off with a chuckle.
"He seems perfectly charming. I shall speak to him for you. It is a shame to see a woman of your age without a suitor." She took another sip of tea. "We do get the New York columns up in Philadelphia, I haven't seen any mention of you with a suitor for a few years now. Plenty of parties, yes, but no carriage rides with the eleigible young men I am sure teem around you."
I scrambled for something. "Oh, well, I have been considering continuing my education." A flat out lie, but something I could spin. "I thought to enter university and study, perhaps something to assist my family's business, economics or something to do with maritime studies. After all, I am my parent's only child, I feel it is only right to learn as much as I can for when I have to take it over."
"Surely you'd expect your husband to take over the business when the time came?" Lucille set her cup down, "I would think such matters would be too complex for a young lady of breeding."
"Really, my dear, why would you ever think of joining a university?" The Countess laughed. "Next thing you'll be marching with those suffragettes!" That set off a gale of laughter from the three, and my mother quickly found us.
"What ever is so funny, ladies?"
Mrs. DeWitt Bukater turned to her, "Your daughter was thinking about joining a university!"
"Would you not want Rose to go to one if she desired?"
"Of course, but the purpose of university is to find a husband, Rose has already done that." Mrs. DeWitt Bukater simpered, clearly expecting her barb to affect Mother in some way. Mother simply sipped her tea, smiling blandly at the others.
Lucille started. "Here comes that vulgar Brown woman."
They quickly rose, Mrs. DeWitt Bukater hissing, "Quick, before she decides to sit with us."
But Mrs. Brown was nothing if not tenacious. Their excuses about taking the air were brushed aside and Mrs. Brown quickly fell into the group as they moved off. I watched them leave, Mrs. Brown's laugh loud and easy as they went outside.
Mother set her tea cup down. "Since when have you been considering university?"
I drained my cup before I answered. "I had to distract her, she was dead set on creating some kind of match between Zachary and I."
She pursed her lips. "That woman is like a dog with a bone in terms of matrimonial matters."
"I think it comes from all that old blood in them, rearranges their priorities."
"Marriage is a priority Anastasia, we do expect you to marry at some point."
"I know Mother, but nothing has come along." I dropped by eyes, trying not to think of Will's blue eyes and the touch of his hand on my back. "At least for the moment."
"Anastasia, look at me." She commanded, and years of training made me look into her hazel eyes. She could find anything out with that command. "Have you come across someone on this crossing?"
My mouth suddenly went dry. "I-I may have, but I am unsure at the moment."
"Would it be Mr. Murdoch?" I tried to look away, but her hand was quickly on mine and her voice firm. "Answer me, my dear."
"Yes." I kept my answer short, not trusting myself to elaborate.
"Well, I cannot say it was unexpected. Especially after last night." Mother quickly released me, rising from her seat.
I followed her. "Mother, I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."
"It seems much like how your father and I met, a chance meeting, a few days of companionship. I will keep this to myself for now but you must speak to your father about this before we dock, the last thing we need for him at the moment is a sudden shock of Mr. Murdoch showing up at the front door to escort you somewhere."
"Then, you do not disapprove?"
We had gained the promenade deck, enclosed from the wind blowing along the other decks. She stopped at a window, looking out toward the horizon. "We agreed to let you make your own choice in this matter. At the beginning, we were worried about your judgement, but you have proven your judgement sound over the years. But this will not proceed at a rapid pace, we are not going to be reserving a church for your wedding in a few months. And I expect you to continue to be of upstanding character." She looked back at me, "Is that clear?"
I nodded quickly, the lace veil flipping in time. "Yes, Mother. I will make sure there is nothing that goes beyond what is proper."
Mother nodded, pointing at a steward with a trumpet who had just emerged from a door. "Then I suggest we go change for dinner, before that men deafens us with his playing." We proceeded down to our cabins, meeting Marie and Violetta outside. Quickly we were stripped of out day dresses and our donned our evening gowns that had been pressed and steamed. Tonight's dress was a light lavender, a small strand of pearls the only ornament I wore. Mother, as always wore the pearls Father had given her at their wedding, a large triple strand with matching drop earrings.
Edward may have had to get Father into his tails but it did go far quicker than our dressing, it must have taken twenty minutes and my hair was filled with pins and a single white feather by the time we were done. The dining saloon was rather crowded as we entered, and Father quickly led us over to greet the Astors, including JJ's new wife Madeleine who was looking distinctly green. The two of them set to conversing about some events back in New York while we tried to be kind to her. There was quite a scandal when he divorced his first wife, and the fact that his new one was 29 years his junior and now pregnant of all things. It never paid to dismiss the Astors though, regardless of how scandalous their behavior was. They were one of the top families in New York, Mrs. Astor had ruled the social scene for years before her death and the competition to replace her was fierce.
I was patiently speaking with the new Mrs. Astor about how she had found Paris when I spotted Rose walking alongside a young man with slicked back blond hair. She beckoned me over, and reached out a hand in introduction. "Jack, this is Anastasia Dalian. Anastasia, Jack Dawson."
I nodded at him. "You must be Rose's savior." He was rather handsome, in a babyfaced sort of way. I could tell he was uncomfortable in the clothes he had on though, his throat working anxiously around the tie.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." He smiled, "Rose here tells me you family owns enough boats to make your own navy."
"Well, when you're trading across five continents, it is rather necessary."
"Five, wow. Which five?"
"We have offices on both of the American coasts, some in Canada along the Great Lakes, down in Brazil, one in Egypt, of course a few in France and England, and our offices in China and Japan. We're well represented."
"And you could just, take off on any of those boats? Hit all five continents?"
I considered his question for a moment. "I suppose you could, the accommodations are not nearly as luxurious as these, but my father did do his fair share of boat hopping when he was my age."
"He must have quite a few stories then."
"If you get some brandy in him, he would be more than glad to tell you all of them." I chuckled, then noticed my parents moving off. "Oh, I must be going. Enjoy your dinner Mr. Dawson, Rose."
Their table was clearly the most popular, to the point where they were moved to a larger table to fit the rapidly growing group. We kept to our smaller table, and I could hear Jack quickly charming the vast majority of the group. Rose's mother proved a hard nut to crack, quickly bringing up his steerage passage to let him know that despite his presence tonight, he was nothing more than a piece of mud clinging to her daughter's skirts. The only interruption of our dinner was a steward appearing with a message.
"For you, Miss." He said, holding it out on a silver tray. I quickly read it and placed it into my gloves, tucking it inside the sleeve of them.
"What is it, dear?" Father asked from where he was dipping his lobster into a small bowl of melted butter.
"Oh, Mr. Murdoch has been asked to assist Mr. Andrews with something tomorrow, so he sends his regrets that he will not be able to take me for a morning promenade. In fact, he says that he will be busy almost up until dinner."
Mother looked up from her salmon. "How disappointing, but at least he will be able to come to dinner."
"Yes, I am quite looking forward to it." I said, turning back to my meal. After we finished, Mother and I excused ourselves straight back to our cabins, not taking any chances on an incident tonight.
My cabin seemed rather stuffy though, and I opened the window slightly. The breeze that blew in was cold, and I quickly hurried into my bed, drawing the blankets up high. I was excited for tomorrow, looking at the small collection of items I had accrued from my trip. The matchbook, the message that Will had quickly scrawled. As soon as I got home, I would place them in my hope chest. It contained the usual bridal trousseau collection, clothing and embroidered items that I had worked on over the years, but I also kept mementos in it. Not to mention the fact that it was an old battered sea chest, bequeathed to me by my grandfather, and far from the usual cedar chests that most girls had.
If Will agreed to a courtship, then I would keep these items and any letter from him there, where I could pick them up at any moment. I knew well enough that you cannot keep a sailor from the sea, Mother had only succeeding in grounding Father once his health had started to deteriorate. So more than likely we would spend a lot of time exchanging letters, with only brief visits when he was in port.
But letters, you could reread letters a hundred times and find something new every time.