2 weeks later.....
Blessen
The past two weeks have changed a lot for my family. My scars were almost completely gone but that didn't change much about my feelings. My emotions were all over the place and being pregnant made it even worse. Sometimes I hide away from everyone and cry. I had so many amazing things on the horizon for me but I can't truly be happy until I have peace.
Peace is something we all take for granted. For me, if it wasn't one thing it was another. Banks never let me out of his eyesight and I love it and hate it. I'm such a free spirit and sometimes I needed alone time to settle the thoughts that roam my brain. With Banks, Blu, Onyx, Kelsi, Mega, and Carter always in my face, dealing with my demons became harder. If I told them how I truly felt, they would smother me even more.
I've become a person that I don't even know. I was truly smiling but dying inside. I was scared for my life as well as my family's. I had made the decision to make Blu home schooled because I was terrified of something happening to her while she was away from me. I am now projecting my own fears onto my daughter. I want her to experience everything in life but because of my own anxiety I was blocking her from being a three year old. Blu's safety as well as my unborn was my main priority. What else am I supposed to do?
Times like these are when I craved my mother's love even more. Nobody can truly comfort me the way she can, although they try, I'd hate to admit to them that it would never be enough. My mom meant the world to me and I knew with all the shit I've been dealing with she would be the one to bring me pure peace. She always had the right touch and the right words. She was my person and it kills me inside every day knowing that I can't get that back.
I fight everyday to find my joy because now that I think about it I don't remember a time after my mother's passing where I was truly happy. I have so much to live for in Blu, in my unborn, and my family. I can't give up no matter how hard life gets. I've been down but I still have a lot of fight left in me and I will continue to fight until my days are over.
I opened my eyes and welcomed in the morning's sun as I stretched my arms out before raising myself up as I rested my back on the bed frame while mindlessly rubbing my belly. I wasn't showing but my belly was becoming hard in some spots. I smiled a little thinking about how beautiful Banks and I's baby would be. I was hoping for a boy since I already had a spoiled baby girl.
My smile grew wider as I noticed the pink balloons that were touching my ceiling. Some silver balloons stuck out to me that said "Happy 23rd Birthday Beautiful". My eyes grew teary as I reached up to grab one.
I heard some noise as Banks and Blu entered the room. Blu held a tray of breakfast as I laughed a little. The pancakes were a tad bit burnt but they held a pink candle that read my age on it. Today, I've endured twenty-three years around the sun.
"That's so sweet, mama." I smiled as she sat it on my lap. I looked over the eggs, burnt pancakes, burnt bacon, and fruit.
"Mommy, Banks burnt everything." Blu whispered loudly as we all shared a laugh.
"Baby girl, why throw pops under the bus like that? I tried bruh."
"It's okay baby. I love it." I said as he reached in for a kiss.
"Happy birthday beautiful." He stated while pulling away and placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. Forehead kisses are top tier. They are so much more intimate to me than any other kiss, especially coming from Banks.
"Not fair I want one too." Blu whined. She grabbed both of our faces and planted a kiss on Banks' cheek as well as one on my lips.
"Your kisses are sweeter than Banks." I teased.
"I told him don't compete where you don't compare."
"Today is not a good day to hate." He said as I laughed.
"Babe, how did you get all of these balloons in here while I slept?" I asked before taking a bite of watermelon, which was the only edible thing on this plate.
"It was easy mommy you sleep like a bear."
"Sound like one too. You sleep all day and still sleep like you never slept before." Banks added as I rolled my eyes.
"Oh no sir. Don't come for me."
"I mean mommy did he lie?" Blu questioned as I rolled my eyes.
"Period." Banks said as I busted out laughing.
"I really would like for y'all to leave me alone for the rest of the day. I feel attacked."
"Don't feel like that mommy we love you." Blu said as she got in bed, wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head against my own. "Happy birthday!"
"Thanks baby girl." I said while holding her face.
"Y'all so cute." Banks cooed as he snapped a picture of us.
"I probably look all crazy Banks I literally woke up two minutes ago."
"You're beautiful. Be quiet." He said softly as he planted another kiss on my lips. He looked into my eyes and it felt like he was reading me and I looked away just as Blu began to speak.
"I think it's time to give mommy her gifts." Blu cooed as she hopped off the bed.
"I wanted to go first Blu." Banks teased as he ran behind her. I laughed at my two big babies.
I placed my "breakfast" to the side as Blu ran back in.
"Ouuu I beat Banks." She laughed while joking a small, pink gift bag. "Here you mommy. Happy birthday again."
She hopped on my legs and handed me the gift bag with the biggest smile ever. I kissed her forehead as soon as Banks came back into view.
"Go ahead and open her lil funky gift." He said as I laughed. I pulled out the gift paper before finding a tiny box. I opened it and became teary eyed. It was a silver charm bracelet that consisted of the word "mom" and multiple pictures of Blu and I in the shape of a heart. It was engraved, "Thanks for being the best mom. Love, Blu."
"Aw thank you baby this was the best gift ever." I said pulling her into my arms as she helped me put it on. It fit perfectly and I vowed to never take it off. "How did you get this?"
"I used Banks' money but it was my idea." She said as I looked at Banks and he nodded. I laughed once again and thanked her once more. It's the thought that counts.
"My turn." Banks said walking over with four gift bags, a Manila folder, and an envelope.
"Open this one first mama." He said handing me the smallest bag. I opened it and tears streamed down my face.
"This is beautiful baby."
I held up the custom diamond chain that read my mother's name as he secured it around my neck. It wasn't too heavy and it felt so good against my chest. This meant the most to me because my mom meant the most to me.
"I love it baby." I said as he allowed me to open the other bags.
I also was gifted a Rolex in my favorite color and two Chanel tote bags that I had been crying for but never went out and purchased myself. It's like I had been buying every other Chanel product besides the ones that I wanted the most.
"You always pay attention baby." I smiled big while holding up my tote bags as he held out an envelope and manila folder to me.
I looked at him weird before opening the folder as I gasped.
"Miracle Cosmetics is now an LLC?" I questioned as he nodded with a smirk. The shop would be up and running in a week or so but I had recently been talking about creating my own makeup line once I was settled in my suite I had chosen to name it after my mom but I had never put any real action into it and my baby went ahead and made it real for me. Now I knew exactly what to do.
I was still in shock as he handed me the envelope and I opened it as cash spilled out.
"20k, to start you makeup line."
"I guess you won with the gifts." Blu mugged while folding her arms.
"Stay in a child's place." Banks teased while roughing up her hair as she giggled a little but still trying to hold her stank face.
"Thank you so much baby." I got up as we shared a hug. "This means the world to me. Thank you for believing in me and paying attention to me. The fact that you're investing in my brand is everything. I love you so much da."
"I love you more. I'd do anything for you, you know that."
"Yes, I do." I smiled big as he kissed my lips.
_________________
"Blessen, you still not ready?" Onyx bursted into my room as I put finishing touches on my makeup. I was still wrapped in a towel but my hair and makeup were finally done.
"Almost." I said plainly.
"You okay?" She asked grabbing my hand causing me to give her my attention.
"I'm fine. You know I just really wasn't in the birthday mood." I said. She knew I didn't care about celebrating my birthday with everything going on but Banks and Onyx insisted on me celebrating my 23rd in some kind of way. I didn't want to go out so they planned a small poolside birthday dinner for me with a few family and friends and I obliged.
"Wait until you see how pretty it is. You'll get in the mood." She said as I giggled a little.
"Thank you sis. For everything. I love you."
"I love you more." She said as we shared a hug. She wired 23k into my account this morning. A thousand for each year of life. I am forever grateful.
"Can you help me slide into this dress?" I asked as she nodded grabbing it from my walk-in closet. She knew which one because she helped me pick it out. I was very simple today since I still would be in the comfort of my own home and so was she.
She slid it up my legs as I shimmied into it while looking in the mirror. She zipped me up while I held my stomach.
"You look beautiful." She said adjusting my chain.
"Thank you. So do you."
"You ready to head down there?"
"Yeah, everyone here?"
"Yup. Just waiting on you." She said as she held her hand out and I took it. I thank God everyday for Onyx. We lost our mom and she took her big sister role ten times more seriously. She's been there for Blu and I just as my mother would be and I am forever grateful for a big sister like her. I can't imagine where I would be without her.
She led me down the stairs as I heard the commotion from the chef and his crew as they prepared a three course meal for my guests tonight.
"It smells so good in here." I cooed as Chef Christian greeted me.
"Appetizers will be ready soon." He assured me. Banks hired a black chef who specializes in Southern cuisine because that's the food that I was in the mood for.
"Thank you." I smiled as Onyx led me outside.
"It's beautiful." I cooed. It was so simple but so perfect. It is truly beyond what I had expected.
Blu ran over to me as I smiled.
"I'll go check on your guests." She said as I nodded.
"Hey my Nu. You look pretty." I smiled.
"You look soooo pretty, mommy."
"Beautiful." Banks said catching my attention. He looked good enough to eat.
"Everything looks so beautiful baby. I can't thank you enough for making today so special for me."
"You deserve it."
"I love you." I said while wrapping my arms around his neck as we shared a kiss.
"I love you too, B." He said pecking my lips once more before getting close to my ear. "The staff will be filling everyone's glass with champagne except for you."
I only nodded before going around greeting my guests. Banks' mom, grandmother, and sister were here. Carter was out on business with his father which is why they both weren't present. Dani, Dani's mother, Shai, Anyah, Elijah, and Prime were here as well as Maya and Teish. Indya and Brooke were also in attendance. I hired them recently as makeup artists who would be renting the other two booths at Beauty by Blessen. Their work is impeccable and I definitely was more than happy to have them apart of my team. Mega, Kelz, Lex, and Milani just made it.
"I'm sorry we're late I had to pump for this one." She said pointing at my Milani. She looked so cute on her god mommy's birthday.
"Girl, y'all didn't miss anything. I'll tell the chef to start bringing the appetizers out. I'm hungry."
"You always hungry." She said as Milani reached out to me.
"Hey nanny baby." I cooed as I picked her up. Banks grabbed my waist as he greeted Kelsi and Mega. Lexington ran off with Shai and Blu while Banks' mom warned them about running around the pull. They nodded at her and began to run again as I shook my head.
"The chef will be bringing the food out in any minute." He said as I nodded. Kelsi took Milani back as we all began to take our seats and simultaneously the food came out.
The appetizer was shrimp and cheddar grits garnished with green onions and bacon bits and a creamy sauce. My favorite.
We began to eat and talk and laugh. I hadn't laughed like this in a while. Between the drama at Onyx's shop and Banks shop, my stomach was hurting from laughter.
The main course came out which was lobster tails, salmon with a honey and garlic glaze over dirty rice, steak, macaroni and cheese, asparagus wrapped in bacon, and seafood potatoes. This was on the menu but my guests got
To order what they wanted. I got everything on my plate because this is all the stuff I felt like eating.
We talked some more over dinner as Banks' mom told us about how Banks couldn't stand Khaia when she first came along but now, out of everyone, he loves her the most.
"Cause, man, I was the baby. I didn't want her to take my mom."
"Awww my mama's boy." I said pinching his cheek as everyone laughed.
"Stop playing dude." He pushed my hand away as we shared a laugh.
"This food is so good." I said out loud.
"Okay big mama." Maya teased as I playfully rolled my eyes while finishing my plate.
It's Your Birthday by R Kelly played in the distance as I smiled noticing the chef coming out with my beautiful birthday cake.
Lately, I've been feeling black. Although pink is my favorite color, black has become my go to for everything.
Everybody got up and began clapping as Banks grabbed my hand to dance and soon everyone else was dancing. Blu was even dancing with Banks' grandmother. I looked around at everyone and smiled happily. As much as I wasn't worried about celebrating my birthday it was everything and more. I love it here.
One dance with Banks turned into three as my favorite song Sweet Thang by Chaka Khan played.
I laid in the crook of Banks' neck while he held me and I softly sang the song to him, meaning every word.
Oh, sweet thang
Don't you know you're my everything?
Oh, sweet thang
Don't you know you're my everything?
You, you are my heat, you are my fire
Make me weak with strong desire
To love you, child, my whole life long
Be it right or be it wrong
"I have one more surprise tho baby."
"Really, Banks?" I smiled pulling away from him so that we were face to face but I still remained in his firm grip. "You've done enough for today baby. I can't thank you enough."
"I'll be back." He ignored me. He walked over to the DJ and stopped the music before grabbing the mic.
Blu ran over to me and tugged at my legs as I bent down to her level.
"I hope he's not about to sing because I'll leave. I don't feel like being embarrassed." She said seriously as I laughed.
"I don't know why he's up there but I'm sure he's not about to sing Blu." I laughed once again as she shrugged. I grabbed her hand as she stood beside me while we waited for Banks' announcement.
"I want to thank you all for coming tonight and spending today with Blessen. I know it means a lot to her but it means a lot to me too. I've never met someone so caring and loving before. She puts everyone before herself so I was determined to make today about her. You're deserving baby girl because you give so much so purely and wholeheartedly. I love you." He said as everyone cooed at his heartfelt speech. I knew the first time I laid eyes on this man that he was the person meant for me. He shows me how much he loves me every single day and he still managed to make my birthday special. This is what love is supposed to feel like.
"I love you too." I mouthed back fighting back tears.
"Can everyone follow me to the front of the house? I have one more surprise for Blessen." He said as everyone followed his lead to the front of the house.
I squealed as I saw the black meet Jeep parked in front of my home with a black bow on top. Banks paid attention to detail down to the black bow seeing as I have been obsessed with that color lately.
I ran to the front door and surveyed the interior. It was all black just like I had mentioned before casually. It was crazy how much this man paid attention to every word that left my mouth.
Cameras were going off as people snapped pictures and caught videos of this moment.
It wasn't even about the material shit for me, it was how much he paid attention to my thoughts and dreams and invested into them and made them real for me.
I sat in the drivers seat and played with the switches.
"You like it?" Banks asked me.
"I love it!"
"All the paperwork is in here. You own it. It's yours." He spoke. "I felt so bad about what happened to your car and you casually mentioned wanting a Jeep so I made it happen for you."
"You always make everything happen for me baby. I can't thank you enough." I said as we shared a hug. I could hear a plane but it sounded too close for comfort as I gave it my attention. It was flying around but it was leaving actual words in the starry night's sky.
"What is that?" I asked as Banks pulled away and gave the plane his attention as well as everyone else.
I paid attention until I could make out the words.
(Imagine it being at night lol)
"Wait what? Banks?" I said looking at him kneeling down before me. "Baby? Are you serious?"
"Blessen Elise Baxter, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" He asked as I looked around shocked. Everyone was smiling and staring at me awaiting my answer.
As much as I love Banks I hadn't even given marriage a thought. I knew we were damn near inseparable but being his wife solidified everything for me. I'm his and he's mine. Forever.
"YES!" I squealed as he pushed the beautiful rose gold engagement ring on my finger. He raised up as I jumped into his arms and cried tears of joy. Coming from the hurt and pain I've dealt with no one could possibly understand how important this moment was to me. I believed what other people thought of me; the ugliness they saw in me and here Banks came and loved me and made me learn to love myself. He saw the beauty in me. He sees my worth. He knows I'm special and deserving.
"I love you so much, B. I want you in my life for the rest of my life."
"I love you so much more baby. You made me love myself and you brought out everything that I knew that I had. We're 4lifers." He said as everyone shared a laugh.
"How does Blessen Elise King sound?"
"Perfect." I said as we shared a kiss.
If I was asked to relive a day in my life over and over again, it would be this day.
This is what love is supposed to feel like.
________________
Blessen in MM
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This chapter was pretty long but I plan on ending this book at the 40th chapter. I'm not sure yet but I do plan on creating a sequel.
What do you wanna see for the next few chapters to come?
Love, ire_goldie💓