Made on: 30th of October 2021
Published: 2nd of November 2021
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Raison d'être means: 'a reason for existing' ♡
(if you get inspired by these chapters/the concept, please credit me!)
also! i'm trying out a new writing style, so tell me if you like it :]
Punz was a simple man, he held onto what he loved and let whatever didn't bring him joy disappear into the void.
He never really found a 'purpose' or whatever kind of bullshit people tried to force down his throat, he lived his life recklessly, drowning himself in whatever interest he could find before it simply couldn't bring him any more joy because he had strangled it for whatever serotonin he could find.
Sometimes it would be baking, or cargo shorts, sometimes skirts, maybe even pretty tall shoes, hair clips, nail polish, hair dye, whatever he could get his hands on.
And this behaviour wasn't just limited to items, it also applied to his friends.
Now, while he was an uncaring man, he wasn't a stupid one.
The items he strangled couldn't leave him all alone or shout insulting words at him, but people could.
So he paced himself, speak to people when he was spoken to, let himself indulge in conversations a little bit too long whenever he could and daydreaming about the next time he would be able to talk to that person again.
But he couldn't help but feel utterly meh like, life was good! It really was! But everyday was the same exact thing; wake up, brush teeth, brush hair, put on the morning clothes, make breakfast and then start doing random shit for the rest of the day.
He loved all of it, he really did! He loved the familiarity it gave him every time he would immediately fall into routine, and the way that he just had this entire life to himself.
And it was great! Until...there was a wrench thrown into the system.
And the wrench was called 'Dream'.
He was the same as the others in the most different way ever, or maybe he was different in the most 'same' way ever. Punz wasn't really sure.
He was kind, like the others, enthusiastic, like the others, encouraging, like the others, loving, like the others.
But there was something just so..alluring about him, something that drew Punz towards him.
It was a stupid reason probably, maybe it was the way that he could match Punz's energy easily or the way his voice softens whenever he thinks Punz is frustrated, maybe even the way that he sends him cute little reminders for him to drink water and eat during his streams.
(He does that for everyone but Punz lets himself feel special every once in a while)
But it doesn't really matter anymore, does it? Because now Punz has a purpose, and he wasn't gonna let it just disappear.
---
It was kinda dumb really, how easily Punz got attached to Dream.
Suddenly someone just pops up out of nowhere, with their loving words and open arms and Punz feels like a starved man, he never realized how much he missed those talks with someone.
The gentle conversations that don't really have a definite topic, but it doesn't matter to either person, as long as they can stay together, they are pleased.
He loved him since the day he met him...well maybe not love him, that's a pretty strong word, hmm admiring him would work better.
He made sure to let his words fill with honey stickiness when he could've, much too shy to just say it out loud, but bold enough to slip in a few crude remarks every now and then.
Past Punz sat in his gaming chair, head tipped back as he breathed slowly, heart aching for a man he knew he could never have.
Hand gripping his hair as he tried to cope with the fact that he was deep in some shit called love when he was younger, he knew all the turns and twists someone could pull on you, dodging them flawlessly and getting what he wanted.
But now since he's started focusing on his career more, he's become his hopeless romantic self again, lovesick for someone who will never know.
Oh well, what can you do about it?
---
Apparently, there's a lot you can do about it actually.
You can let the jokes get a little bit too personal and sweet, let your voice fill with cotton candy as you talk about them, rant about their beauty and kindness to your friends and maybe ...you could get the person's love.
And as Punz laid on Dream's chest, completely content with the world and his choices, he wondered where he would be without him.
He knew that he would still be searching for his purpose, but he knows from the way that Dream oh so sweetly laces their fingers together and kisses each one of his knuckles, he knows that he's found it.
He hopes that one day he could have a ring on his finger, a matching one wrapped around Dream's as well.
Dream was his raison d'être.
Word Count: 882
i like the style, it's much more laid back :]
but gimmie feedback on it!
...i forgot to upload the chapter 😭