Waking up slowly, I instantly smiled. I had a dream about mine and Harry's wedding. It was beautiful. Everything I dreamed it would be. Although Niall had gone against the dress code and warn a powder blue tuxedo. i would have to have a talk with him to make sure he ordered the black one, just in case. There were white roses everywhere, just like i wanted. My mother walked me down the aisle, but we didn't make it all the way. As soon as i looked up and got eye contact with Harry I ran the rest of the way, smiling from ear to ear. I awoke before we were wed. or. atleast I thought I did.
I usually wake up cuddled up with harry. the bed was empty. his side cold. even when we werent together as a couple, we often found comfort in eachother and sleeping in the same bed.
"Shit..." I mumbled to myself. Remembering my fiancee was no longer here. I fell back onto my pillows. I would cry but i seem to have run out of tears. Rubbing my eyes I heard a crinkle of paper. There was something on my forehead. Reaching up I slowly peeled it off. It was a yellow sticky note.
It read: I have read your song you wrote for me.. i loved it and i love you .xx
"Is this a joke? Seriously? Fuck you guys."
I cant believe the lads would do something like this. Read my personal thoughts. Swinging my legs off the bed I put my head in my hands and breathe in deep. This is going to be a long day. Wait. There was another note, this time stuck to the carpet.
It read: Your hand fits in mine .. like its made just for me - but bear this is mind, it was meant to be ♥
"What the..." I shake my head. Its Harry's handwriting but hes gone... Niall has shitty handwriting so it cant be him? Walking a little further, i can see more sticky notes leading to the door. Im dreaming. of course i am. that explains alot. as for the sticky notes, Of course, i read them. might as well enjoy this dream while ive got it. they read:
I know youve never loved the crinkles by your eyes
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs but ill love them endlessly
You cant go to bed without a cup of tea and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep and all those conversations are the secrets that i keep though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape .. although I'm not sure why. you sing like an angel. one direction would be nothing without you.
im in love with you and all these little things
You ll never love yourself half as much as i love you
There were hundreds of little sticky notes it seemed. All leading to Harry's door. Once at Harry's door there were even more. All stuck to the door. I'm losing my mind. I have to be.
these ones just say "your lips, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your sarcasm"
I slowly open Harry's door. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst. The lights are off but there are candles everywhere. seems almost like every single color. I open it all the way and can see the outline of a figure. I can already tell its him.
"Is this god playing tricks on me?" I slowly walk towards him. He hasn't said anything. Just standing there like a stone. Once I'm centimeters away from him, i can see his features a bit more clearly. The candles aren't helping much though, they provide minimum light. I reach up to touch him, Jerking away before i can. Almost like he would of went poof or broke if i had touched him.
"You're really here?" i barely whisper. His head nods slowly.He reaches and takes my hand, bringing it up to his cheek. There it rests. That's all i needed. I jumped into his arms. "Harry don't ever fucking do that again." He grips me tightly and apologizes profusely.
"What happened?" I can barely say through my tears.I dont know where they came from. I thought i was all teared out. He is still holding me, my legs around his waist and my hands around his neck.
"I don't even know... I was on the plane, i was going to text Liam and I thought i left my phone in the toilets so i got off and didn't make it back in time to get on that plane. I heard it went down...."
"Why didn't you call!!? We thought you...." I couldn't even bring myself to say the words.
"I hate myself for saying this but i don't know your numbers by heart. Your all on speed dial so i never needed to know them. I would of called but i caught the next flight out. I didn't even know my original flight had crashed until i got home. Niall looked like he had seen a ghost."
"I was going crazy just thinking about waking up without you by my side."
"Louis-" I don't let him finish.
"Why did you leave me?" I let go of his neck and set myself up right on the floor. "What was so important you had to leave DAYS before our wedding?" I violently jabbed his shoulder with each word. he took my wrist and said he would explain it all in a moment.
"This was..." he walks over to the door, digging in his jacket which is hanging by the door.
Walking back over to me, my eyes look him up and down. I never noticed how long and lean his legs were. Hes got better legs than my mum. I wont be taking that for granted again. he doesnt have a bum like mine. sure it looks flat in jeans, but once hes naked, its quite nice. his curls bounce with every step. once in front of me I take a deep breath.
"why didnt you wake me up the minute you got home?" I say quickly, letting out that deep breath just i took. he smiles, but its not like the other times. I can tell hes putting on a brave face for me. "honestly, you looked exhausted. how late were you up? dont lie to me Louis."
"all day pretty much.. once liam had said you were on that flight.. I just ran up here. the tears didnt come till I tryed to call you. I did about fifty times..."
"lou..." I tell him in not finished and then I continue.
"its a lot to take in you know..we were going to get married, we have a band for christ sake.. to have all of that just go poof.. in a matter of seconds. I didnt know how If I wanted to even wake up the next morning. I guess I had already put it in my mind you were gone.. I should of waited. could of saved my self the heartbreak. your never getting on a plane again okay! were traveling by car from now on."
"a car in the ocean.. I doubt our car would um keep afloat. he hands me a pack of paper. "Read."
I skim the paper, "What is.."
"Its our house. I went back to Las Vegas to sign the paperwork. It was supposed to wait until our wedding day but my death moved it up a bit." he chuckles.
"I um.. couldnt leave it behind.. it was the first place we you know...." he smiles at me.
"I don't even know what to say.. Its the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."
"Say youll live with me?" he digs into his pocket and takes put something jingling. keys.
"you think im letting you out of my sight after this?" I grab the keys.
Taking the deed out of my hand. He sets it on the dresser. "This is a place to call our own. Being in a band, we never really have a home, and i know you've always wanted to live in America... so why not in a house were already familiar with? Also.. since its four bedrooms.. that's enough rooms for the lads to visit and sleep in or enough for three kids. If you ever want that."
"Kids? Harry.. we cant...its physically impossible." I wasn't ready for this talk. I thought we would talk about this years and years from now. At least until the band is ready to stop singing.
"Do you think i didn't think about that? I'm only bringing it up because this event .. gave me a second chance. I'm not going to let it slip by. I'm not going to take anything for granted. I don't see why we cant talk about having kids? Were getting married."
"I wish we could have babies the regular way, but there is no way."
"Your wrong. There is a way. There's a new thing doctors are doing, They take our DNA and make the egg needed for woman to have the kids, then they would put our sperm together somehow and have a women carry the baby. It would be our baby... Don't you want that?"
"Of course i want that, could we save this convo for another time? I think were getting in over our heads." My man has gone crazy.
"How about that song you wrote for me...will you sing it for me?" he takes me hand and leads me to the bed. we lie down, this time harry in my arms.
"people say we shouldnt be together ---"
I sing my fiancee to sleep. Even after hes long asleep, I stay up just staring at him. God let him off that plane for a reason. I wasnt wasting any more precious time. you never know which moment is going to be your last.