CHAPTER THIRTEEN |
forever and always
***
RACHEL BERRY KNEW from the second she heard Kayla's mezzo-soprano tone that she was going to be someone important to her. Granted, at the time she thought she would be her enemy and for a time, she was. But then she slowly became an acquaintance and then a friend and then something a little more than that but a little less than a girlfriend.
Rachel's heart skipped a beat the first time Kayla ran to her aid after she'd embarrassed herself in front of Finn. Before that moment, with Kayla's arms wrapped around her tightly, she'd never felt anything romantic towards another woman, but there was something about Kayla that she just seemed to be enthralled in. She was safe. Warm. She kept Rachel on her toes and it wasn't long before her eyes were drifting down to Kayla's lips while she was waxing poetic about something Puck told her earlier in the day.
She couldn't exactly pinpoint the moment that she fell in love with Kayla. Mostly it was just a bunch of little moments to make up her big feelings. It was waking up next to her the morning after a sleepover. It was seeing her jumping around in her room to the High School Musical soundtrack and eating lunch with her. It was hearing her laugh and seeing her cry. It was the way Kayla took care of her when Finn died. It was the way she made her believe in love again. And after all the pain Rachel had gone through to finally keep Kayla, they were finally here at their wedding day.
Mostly Rachel was a mess. As her man of honor, Kurt was running around the place trying to square away the last minute details. She was sitting at her vanity with Dalton on her lap as she played with the curly cues of his hair. He was almost two now and he loved his Aunt Rachel.
Lately she'd been thinking about babies a lot. Having Dalton was the worst pain she'd ever felt, but her mind kept going back to Kayla squeezing her hand before she went in for her C-section—and then Kayla hugging her after her surgery—and feeling more safe than she had in her whole life. She remembered Blaine crowding around Kurt after he picked up Dalton and watching their smiles as they cood at their newborn son and she wanted that for her and Kayla too. She knew Kayla would just be the best mom. She'd taken care of all of them for so long and given them more love and support than some of them deserved. There was no way Rachel could have a baby with anybody else.
"Who that?" Dalton's chubby little finger pointed at the photograph of Finn that stayed on her bedroom vanity.
It was the picture of him playing Brad during Rocky Horror, pulling a funny face. It was probably her favorite picture of him in existence and of course Dalton knew that Finn was his uncle in some odd way that a child knows that someone is family, but Finn passed long before Dalton was even thought of and he never knew him. He didn't really recognize him because Kurt still had problems with talking about his brother. Mostly everything their son knew about Finn came from either Rachel or Blaine.
There was still a sadness to thinking about Finn. She loved him with all her heart at one point and in high school she had always imagined that this day would end with her walking down the aisle to him. But fate was a funny thing. No matter how much she loved Finn, a little bit of her heart had always beat just a bit more for Kayla. In her senior year, she managed to mostly divest her feelings for Kayla, but that had more to do with not wanting to hurt her again. Kayla was with Ollie and things with her and Finn were finally working out, so she just let it go. She never forgot, but she tried to move on as best as she could. It was harder to ignore when she realized that as much as leaving Finn at that train station hurt her, it was leaving Kayla behind that was liable to kill her.
"That's your Uncle Finny," she smiles, kissing the child's forehead as she waits for Kurt to return with her wedding dress.
Despite it all, she's been surprisingly calm throughout the whole wedding planning process. She always assumed that she would be a bridezilla. After all, she already started that streak when she was planning her and Finn's wedding, but with this wedding, there was no anxiety. She knew rain or shine, she was going to be Mrs. Garrett-Berry at the end of the day and she couldn't wait for that.
Most of the surprise came from the fact that Kayla was the real bridezilla in this equation. They've been planning this wedding pretty much since Dalton was born and just two years after Kayla popped the question, the day was here. Unfortunately Kayla is a perfectionist through and through, so small details like what kind of icing is on their cake and wedding chairs are what she's been freaking out over. Most of the time Rachel can calm her down with a kiss or put on some music to dance to, but she's rather worried about what her fiancé is doing now at Kurt and Blaine's apartment with her own bridal party.
They chose not to have a large wedding party for budget constraints. Yes, Rachel is an award winning Broadway performer, but she hasn't quite found a new show since she left Jane Austen last spring, and Kayla lives on a teacher's salary, so budgeting is a big part of their day-to-day lives.
Rachel's side consists of Kurt, Santana, and Mercedes while Kayla's includes Blaine, Brittany, and Tina. Kayla doesn't have a Man of Honor, though. Tina is her Maid of Honor—and this works for them. Mostly Rachel is just grateful that she gets to spend this special day with some of the most special people in her life. It felt like not so long ago that she was standing by Santana's side on her wedding day and now the tables are turned her way.
Kurt comes rushing in the door with Rachel's dress in hand—a flowy cut with a sweetheart neckline, encased in the bag to keep it in mint condition. She smiles at her best friend as Dalton reaches his hands out on her lap.
"Daddy!" Dalton babbles, reaching for his father. Kurt looks so stressed, but he hangs up the dress on the closet door and grabs his son, bouncing him on his hip.
"Hi buddy. Did you have fun with Auntie Ray?"
Dalton giggles. "Ray-Ray."
She kisses her godson's forehead before she goes over to her dress to start getting ready.
"I'm just gonna drop him off with Dad and then we can start getting ready, okay?" Kurt says. She nods in response as she watches Kurt carry Dalton off to the next room where Burt and Carole have been entertaining her dads.
Then she's left alone and she's staring at that picture of Finn again and she can feel herself getting a little weepy. She knows if he hadn't passed when he did, they would've given it another shot, but she's not confident that it would've ended in a happily ever after. Rachel knew what she was like with Finn, and what she dreamed for them was far beyond the reality of who they were together. They were just kids who loved each other, but now she's certain that she's marrying the right person today. She's confident that if Finn was still alive, he would've tried to worm his way into the Man of Honor position.
She's caressing the frame with her thumb when she feels Kurt come up behind her and hook his chin over her shoulder.
"He'd be happy for you, you know." Kurt says.
Rachel rolls her eyes. "He hated me and Kayla together."
"Not towards the end. After you guys broke up we had a lot of lady chats about you."
Her eyebrows raise in interest. "Like what?"
Kurt chuckles, looking back at that picture of his brother. "Sometime around sectionals that year he realized that Kay wasn't the enemy. Said she was good for you."
"She is good for me." Rachel smiles sweetly, putting the photograph back down. "Help me into my dress?"
Kurt nods. "As you wish, m'lady."
-
"Oh, my little Rachela!" Hiram exclaims when Rachel makes it to the front of the church doors. They compromised in having the wedding at Kayla's baptist church with having a Rabbi as the officiant.
Rachel giggles as both her fathers gush over her dress and kiss her cheek. She feels lucky that despite the divorce, her dads have managed to make co-parenting work. They're even seeing other people and Rachel quite likes their new boyfriends.
A knock comes from behind the conference room and Kayla's brother, Aaron, pokes his head out. "Ready to see your wife, Rach?"
Rachel takes a deep breath before she nods, clutching her fathers' hands to her side as she waits for Aaron to pull the door open and Kayla to pop out. She sees Kayla's heels first and then the white leg of her pantsuit until finally her eyes reach Kayla's first. Her hair is newly short and she's wearing a flower crown around her head like it's still 2013, but she's the most beautiful thing Rachel has ever seen and she starts crying.
"Baby," Kayla chuckles sweetly, stepping forward to hold her future wife as she wraps her arms around her.
Rachel blubbers, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just—you look beautiful, Kay-Kay."
Kayla wipes away Rachel's tears, trying to save her makeup at least a little bit. They knew they wanted to do the first look. Rachel remembers how superstitious Brittany was about Santana seeing her before the wedding, and when she did, the day still came together perfectly. Traditionally her dads would be walking her down the aisle, but instead she was going to walk down the aisle with the love of her life.
"You do, too. Most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Kayla gushes, pressing a tender kiss to Rachel's lips.
They're pulled apart by Kayla's parents who tell them it's time to walk down the aisle. Kayla turns to Rachel and holds out her hand, asking, "Ready?"
"More than ready." Rachel answers, grasping Kayla's hand and pulling it up to her mouth just so she can kiss it.
And then their parents are standing behind them, the church doors are opening and their wedding song begins playing.
< turning page, sleeping at last >
Sam is standing next to the altar, a microphone up to his lips as the piano begins. It's the one job he's had in the wedding. He was pretty upset when Kayla didn't make him part of the wedding party, but she made up for it by appointing him the wedding song.
The cool tone of his tenor comes crooning out as Rachel and Kayla clutch each other's hands, their parents following behind them.
"I've waited a hundred years, but I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do."
Sam winks at the blushing brides before he locks eyes with his own wife and the biggest smile forms on his lips. Rachel watches Sam and Mercedes share a look so intimate and it makes her smile just a bit more. Way back when, Sam was a threat to her relationship with Kayla, but seeing how happy he is now, she knows they're all exactly where they're supposed to be.
"If I had only felt the warmth within your touch—if I had only seen how you smile when you blush, or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, I would have known what I was living for all along."
The couple gets to altar just as Sam sings out the last line. "What I've been living for."
The rabbi greets the crowd and asks who is giving the girls away. Their parents answer, letting go of their daughters to sit down. Kayla and Rachel stand across from each other on the stage, hands locked together once again, and yep, the tears are back too.
"We are gathered here today to join Rachel Barbra Berry and Kayla Nicole Garrett in holy matrimony. I would like to start by asking if there is anyone who so objects this partnership that they speak now or forever hold their peace."
The room is completely silent until Puck stands up and states, "I object. Kayla, you should be with me."
Lauren by his side, nearly seven months pregnant now, smacks the back of his head while Kayla rolls her eyes and says, "Sit back down, Noah."
"It was a joke. Please, continue." Rachel gestures her rabbi to get on with it before another one of their friends pulls another joke out of their ass.
"Anyway, I was given very specific instructions by a certain bride to keep this service as short and sweet as possible because, and I quote, 'she would much rather be making out with her wife,'" The room fills with laughter as Rabbi Greenberg continues.
"This room has witnessed the love these two women have for each other since the day they met, so rather than make a long speech, I will let the brides tell you how they feel. Rachel, if you'd like to start us off..."
Rachel nods, holding out her hand for the speech that she's supplied Kurt with. He pulls it out of his pocket and she grabs it, reading directly from the page.
"Kayla, Kay-Kay... you are my best friend. From day one, you've been my best friend. Well, maybe day thirty. It took us a while to warm up to each other, but as soon as we did, I knew you were meant to be in my life. At the time I didn't know how you would fit into my future and I certainly never imagined we would be standing here today, but I couldn't be happier. We've been through a lot, you and me. Boyfriends and girlfriends, show choir competitions and opening nights. Birthdays and funerals. Anniversaries and breakups. We did that all together and there was a time in my life I thought I might lose you, but you came back to me and you chose me despite how many times I've messed up, and I am just so thankful to be a part of your world and I can't wait for what else is in store. You're my first love and here and now, you'll be my last as well."
Kayla wipes away a tear, trying to compose herself enough to say her own vows.
"Okay, if you'll bear with me, I couldn't put my vows onto paper, so I'm going off the dome here. Rachel, I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to make me a better person. Mainly because you were so terrible,"
The crowd laughs as Rachel rolls her eyes and pushes her shoulder playfully.
"When we first met, I wanted nothing to do with you. You were selfish and entitled and so very annoying, but then somehow, someway you just wormed your way into my heart and my life and I haven't been able to get rid of you since. Not that I'd ever want to. Once I fell for you, there was no moving on. You were all I wanted and you still are. I know this isn't exactly the wedding day you planned all those years ago and I'm not Finn, but that every day you still choose to let me love you makes me the luckiest person in the world. He told me something once—he told me that if you two never found your way back that if you and me did, he wouldn't be mad. And I know he's somewhere up there watching us now and wishing he could eat the donut cake at our reception."
Another bout of laughter as Rachel wipes away her own tears, and makeup be damned, she is so in love with this woman it hurts.
"I love you, Rach. Forever."
Rachel whispers , "Always."
Rabbi Greenberg continues on with the ceremony, asking for the rings. Kurt and Blaine each supply one to the brides as they make their declarations.
Kayla goes first.
"I, Kayla, take you, Rachel, to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, so long as we both shall live."
Kayla slides the wedding band on top of Rachel's engagement ring and then Rachel repeats the sentence and slides a band onto Kayla's ring finger.
"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wives. Go on and kiss her." Rabbi Greenberg grins at Rachel and she laughs, pulling her wife in by the waist.
"C'mere," Rachel says, pulling Kayla in and kissing her in front of everyone. The kiss is gentle and sweet. The hardcore they're saving for the honeymoon, but right now they're just happy and completely in love and when Rachel pulls away, Kayla leans in for another, regardless of the hollering coming from their audience.
They're married now.
-
"Introducing Mrs. and Mrs. Garrett-Berry!" Puck announces into the microphone as the newlyweds walk into the reception hand-in-hand.
They're in Leroy's backyard. It's spacious considering he just moved in with his boyfriend of three years and he has a big family, so they've rigged a large tent up just in case the weather fucks them and then they'll just move inside. Overall, they didn't have many guests, just family members and their friends—pre and post New York. Almost all of the New Directions are there and a good portion of the Warblers are too.
Rachel loves their little wedding. When she was just a girl she had all these big plans for her future wedding. There would be a great fanfare. A big church and a glamorous dress. A large guest list, not the least of which would include Barbra Streisand who would sing a song at the reception. She expected the greatest band and the most food and prettiest colors. She wanted the big fat Greek wedding ideal. Then she got engaged to Finn and her plans for their impending nuptials shifted.
She remembers still being anal about the little details then. At eighteen they didn't have the money that the wedding of her dreams entailed, so she was fine compromising with the courthouse wedding so long as they could have a grand reception. But then Quinn got into her accident and they had to postpone—and then Finn effectively broke up with her at that train station and suddenly she wasn't getting married anymore.
If she thinks back to that girl she was then sobbing her eyes out on a train, a hand on the glass as she stared out at the love of her life and her best friend chasing down the track as it sped to life, she never thought this was where she would end up. She never thought Kayla was who she might marry someday. Maybe a part of her hoped that if she married anyone that wasn't Finn that it would be her, but she was well aware that she stopped deserving Kayla's love a long time ago.
Yet here she is at twenty-seven marrying her best friend, and it's so beautiful. She never thought she was deserving of a love like this until she met Kayla. It was only right that Kayla was the one who got to be with her like this.
Right now Kayla is smiling straight at her as she holds her hand and pulls her to their table where their wedding party is surrounding them and preparing for the festivities to start.
Tina comes up to the dance floor and taps on her mic. "Hello all. So in true New Directions fashion, before their first dance, the girls will be singing a song together, but first we're getting a few speeches out of the way because there's a billion of us. Puck?"
Puck comes up and takes the microphone from Tina, raising the beer in his hand. "Hi. So I'm Puck—also known as Puckasaurus, also known as Petty Officer Puckerman, but before all that, Kayla's first love."
"Fuck off!" Kayla yells out, throwing a candlestick from their table at their friend, but he dodges it.
"Well, I'm sure you can see how in love we were." The crowd laughs. "Here's what you need to know—for real, Kayla is my best friend. We did not get along at first. I was trying to get into their pants, they were trying to castrate me. You know, as one does. Anyway, we became friends right around the same time she was falling in love with Rachel and she was so in denial about it too, but I swear she's been up Fanny Brice's ass since the day they met."
"Okay, Mrs. Zizes." Rachel snides him, making him let out a little chuckle and blow a kiss to his pregnant wife.
"Wow, tough crowd." Puck rolls his eyes. "The point here is that I've spent our whole friendship watching these two be hopelessly and obliviously in love with each other. They were such a Will they, won't they, but I always knew we'd get to this day. You guys are made for each other and I love you. L'Chaim." Puck ends his speech, throwing his head back to down his beer.
Kayla and Rachel hold up their champagne glasses, repeating, "L'Chaim!"
Blaine and Kurt come up next, Dalton balanced on Blaine's hip as Kurt speaks.
"Hi Rayla." Kurt grins.
Kayla and Rachel grin right back, greeting, "Hi Klaine."
Kurt chuckles as he starts speaking. "First of all, congratulations. You were both right by our side at our surprise wedding and to be returning the favor today has been an amazing experience. Both of your friendships have defined my life. Rachel, I never knew I could hate and love someone so much, and Kayla, I never knew someone could understand me the way you do. You've both been such great friends and on behalf of both of us, we feel blessed to share this special day with you. Honey?"
Kurt hands Blaine the phone as Blaine hands him their son. "Guys, we love you more than Kayla loves calling Mr. Schue Mr. Slut. I've never known someone who deserves to be together more than you two. You've been through so much. I've seen you both at your worst and despite that, you've always managed to find your way back to each other. It's magical the way you love each other and I hope you never lose that."
Blaine looks at the band and smiles. "That's enough of that. Why don't we let these lovebirds get to their serenade?"
Kayla grabs Rachel's hand and pulls her out onto the floor, taking Blaine's microphone along with her.
"First of all, I just want to send a lot of love to everyone here tonight. For those that know us, this day is years in the making. I think I've been waiting my whole life to marry this girl right here and having you all with us has made this such a fairytale." Kayla greets the audience, looking over to her wife with a bright smile, swinging their entwining hands between them.
Rachel is given a separate microphone by Mercedes. "Being that music has always been a part of our lives, we knew we wanted to sing for you all and after a lot of bickering, we chose this song about friendship—because above all else, whether we were together or not, we've always been best friends. And I never want to lose that."
The music begins and they let go of each other's hands to get into the song.
< between us, little mix >
"When the curtains close and all the lights go down—safe to say I'll stay. I will always stick around, and I will fix your crown. If you're knocked, I'm your rock. I won't stop. You will never be in doubt, doubt." Kayla grins as she sings to her wife and with a smile on her face, Rachel sings the next line.
"Damn, we got history. Shared every misery. Lived every victory. Yeah, we got synergy. If they hurt you, they're hurting me. That's just the way it be." A little giggle falls off of Rachel's lips at the last line as they move into the chorus to sing together.
"We walked through the fire and as the flames got higher, it made us survivors. Yeah, it made us fighters, fighters."
They link hands together, effectively cutting off their visual of the audience, but it doesn't really matter either way because all they want to see is each other.
"So here's my vow, starting from here and now. Nothing comes between us. Nothing comes between us. I swear that we won't lose this thing we've found cause love will never leave us. Nothing comes between us."
The song fades out and applause sweeps in, but like the newlyweds they now are, the only thing they see is each other. They're still clutching hands as they move back to the table and Kurt announces a few more speeches.
The first comes from Hiram and Leroy.
"Oh, our little Rachela. You look gorgeous. So does our new kid-in-law Kayla. We honestly couldn't ask for anyone better for our little girl." Hiram nearly squeals into the microphone and despite their divorce, Rachel's parents still act like they're married and Leroy is behind him trying to subdue him.
Leroy pipes up then, trying to budge the mic away from his ex-husband. "We remember the first time Kayla came over to our house. She was just so nervous the whole time—very polite, always addressing us as Mr. Berry. When Rachel was little we just always had this feeling that she was going to be a little gay,"
The crowd laughs and Rachel boos her fathers. "Heterophobes!" she heckles them and everyone laughs again.
Hiram takes the mic away from Leroy again with a chuckle. "No, no. What your father means to say is that we definitely knew you were a little gay, but only after Kayla came over for the first time. We'd just never seen you smile so big or listen to someone so intently. Honey, I swear it was like you were wrapped around their finger from the first week. And now we're here and you two are married and we're just really happy for you, my boopie."
Rachel groans at the childhood nickname, but she still tears up and gets up to hug her fathers. Tears fall over when Kayla comes up with her and cuddles them as well. Kayla has always fit into her family. Before they were ever anything, they would hang out in Rachel's bedroom and sing songs together, and then when they definitely became something, they would lock the door and make out, thinking they were so smart when her parents knew the whole time. They just didn't care. Kayla sat through multiple Shabbat dinners without understanding a word of their prayer and even if it seemed sacrilege, sometimes Hiram would let her model a yarmulke and show off like she was Jewish too. Hiram and Leroy were a second family to her and even when Rachel was in New York, Kayla would visit them often. They understood her and she understood them. This was her family before she even dreamed of being anything more than Rachel Berry's best friend.
"Okay, okay. I have like two things to say." Aaron steps up next, a little smile on his lips. Rachel pulls Kayla back to the table to listen to her brother.
"Hi," he addresses the audience. "I'm Aaron, Kay's brother. I know, I know. You're wondering a brother? That's crazy. Kayla never talks about him."
Kayla glares playfully at her brother and he laughs into the microphone. "I'm joking, of course. I graduated many moons ago, but I was part of that original New Directions crew and Kay was the one who convinced me to join. That was also coincidentally the year that Kayla and Rachel started their sordid love affair. The night they kissed for the first time, Kayla busted into my room and literally tackled me, going on and on about how in love she was. I knew then that they were going to be forever. Even when Rachel started dating Jesse, then Finn, then Kayla, then Finn again. And when they finally figured it out in New York, I knew this was the one that would stick. They've always been made for each other. I swear. I guess I just want to say that I'm really excited to welcome my new sister, Rachel. Welcome to the family."
Rachel smiles brightly, raising a glass to her new brother-in-law. She feels just as lucky as part of Kayla's family as Kayla does in Rachel's. She's always been welcome with the Garretts. There were a billion sleepovers, multiple dinners and parties. Aaron had always welcomed her with open arms anytime he was in town to visit. Kayla's parents gave her advice and they housed her for the first few weeks after Finn's death when she just couldn't bear to be at home. It had always been her second home and it's only just started to hit her that now she and Kayla get to make their own version of home.
Rachel wonders what the next lifetime they get to spend together is going to look like. She's already thinking about the dozen kids she wants to have with Kayla. She knows they're both set on adopting because they were both adopted and that means a lot to them, but she thinks she'd also like at least one biological child of theirs. Mostly she just wants a baby that looks exactly like the love of her life. She hopes their kids tell them everything and their house can be shelter for all their friends and that their children's partners come visit them. She wants exactly what her dads got when she met Kayla.
Kayla leans in as the speeches wind down and Kurt announcing that their first dance is up. She whispers, "dance with me?"
Rachel grins, taking her wife's hand and pulling her out to the dance floor where Sam is doing a reprise of his song, only with the addition of Mercedes this time. Kayla's arms wind around her waist and Rachel's hook over her shoulders, leaning her head on Kayla's chest as they dance together for the first time as a married couple. A few lines in, other couples are welcome to join them and they smile, watching their friends slink in next to them to dance.
"Promise me something?" Kayla asks as Rachel raises her head from her shoulder.
"What?" Rachel's eyes are bright and happy in a way they haven't been for many years.
Kayla grins. "Promise to love me forever."
Rachel laughs, ducking her head before she presses a chaste kiss to Kayla's lips and responds, "And always."
___________________________________
[A/N: oh I'm so sad. This is it. The culmination of 3 years of tears and laughter and so so much more, but I'll try not to get weepy just yet. Wrote this while listening to my Kayla playlist and it really did something for me. I just want to thank everyone who ever gave this silly little fic a look through. You mean more than you will ever know. The thank you note with a bunch of mush and dedications will be coming on Tuesday. I love you all. Forever and always.]
~ Emilee