The porcelain sink took up his whole field of vision. He did his best to catch his breath. His aching body rested against the man behind him. They stood there for a moment while the person from behind pushed the hair sticking to Simon's forehead out of the way.
"Look at yourself." JJ commanded with his gravely voice in Simon's left ear. A hand propped up Simon's head only for his neck to wilt once more. "Stop avoiding the mirror. Why're you doing that? I said look at yourself." He pushed Simon's face up by the chin. A resistant head sneered at the face in the reflection. "Do you see that beauty? You're so beautiful."
To Simon he didn't see beauty. An exhausted bruised boy, exasperating for peace and respect, pinned to the counter with his head under control. A cracked face revealing displeasement with his position watched back like an apparition. There was no beauty in his lack of autonomy. That's what made him so hard underneath the sink. But his brain and his heart knew this was wrong. Being forced to feel a certain way by someone else who's in a position of power left Simon spiraling into a panic. He didn't want to ruin the fantasy. He wanted his sexual frustration released. More importantly, he wanted the overwhelming guilt that made him believe he deserved this treatment to go away. For years now Simon had lived it out through degrading sex waiting for the wound to heal over itself. Perhaps the trauma can't haunt you if you confront it now.
"Am I deserving of love?" Simon muttered.
"Of course. Everyone is." JJ let go of his head. He looked to the mirror to watch Simon's face. Which refused to acknowledge either person's reflection.
"Can someone love for me for more than my body?"
"Yes."
"Then maybe I need to start treating myself with respect." his voice cracked.
"You've always been treating yourself with respect. You are in complete control of your body. You choose who can and can't touch you. You know what you like and don't like." JJ consoled.
"Then I no longer choose you."
"Huh? You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do." he confirmed.
"Now isn't the time to bring up your emotions. I really don't care. I'm rock hard and I will get off by the end." JJ thrusted against him.
"No." Simon boldly said. Whether or not JJ would respect that demand, Simon would get one of the two things he wanted: to be free or to cum. JJ let go of Simon's chin and grabbed him by the scruff of his hair instead. His mouth was forced open. Against his will, JJ explores the inside of Simon's mouth. Simon tried to push him off but had no strength in comparison to the more muscular man. So he succumbed to the inevitable gratification he would be subjected to.
Once in the elevator, he didn't even have the chance to reflect on what had happened before the tears dripped down either cheek. His vision became blurry from the salty water. The pain can't be held inside any longer. The lightest breeze blew by just enough to knock over the glass bottle holding the tears, pouring them across the floor of his mind. How did he end up here again? After he promised himself once was enough? He spent two years convincing himself this was different. Saying he wanted this, he's okay with it, and that JJ wasn't taking advantage of him. At the time they met, that was the only love Simon had known. So it makes sense to fall into it again. Still, Simon couldn't believe he let this happen to himself. It hurt. So bad. A great emotional pain sat on his chest and punched his face.
Simon longs to make his body a good home for love to settle in. However, the walls weren't up to code and the front door was missing a lock. So much work had been put into the foundation. He couldn't have the rest of house built subpar now. It needed an inspection before it topples upon itself.
But first this construction worker needs a boost. He needs more candy to forget this self retrospection. Good thoughts only.
;
"You can't come back here. It's employees only." Vik's walking speed increased to create distance between him and Simon. A hand grabbed the back of his shirt collar, choking him out, until that same hand switched to his arm once he was within reach. Vik felt himself get dragged into the darkness of the janitor's closet they had just walked past. "Simon! I'm not doing this with people walking around outside."
"What do you mean? No one can see us." Simon huffed, lifting Vik onto a table next to the door. Objects rattled and clanked as the table shook and Vik's flailing arms knocked them over. Before further protest had the chance to escape his mouth, Simon blocked it with a soft interlocking of the lips. Even though he wasn't pulling away, Simon sensed the tension in Vik. So he melted him with whispers such as, "You taste so sweet. I can never get enough of you. Isn't it crazy how easily you turn me on?" All said muttered in between increasingly sloppy kisses. Each lustful comment complimented with flattered giggles fluttering out from between Vik's lips. Even Simon couldn't hold back a smile hearing his lover so happy.
Vik's legs wrapped around Simon's waist. While his hands reached to play in the field of silver locks, he felt another pair of hands begin to rustle in his coat. Not even the knowledge that Simon's whole reason for being there was to get more drugs could dampen the euphoria rushing through Vik.
"Ah-ah-ah. You've gotta earn it." Vik taunted. So Simon backed up against the wall behind him pulling Vik so their hips pressed against each other. Vik's eyes slowly shut as a warm steady breath found itself in the crook of his neck. A tongue met his skin before butterfly kisses smattered his neck. His breath skipped every other beat of his heart.
"Have I earned it now?" Big round marbles stared wishfully. Being his selfish self, Vik shook his head. "It feels like I have." Simon felt the bulge that had been grinding against his thigh this whole time. Simon noticed a begging look in the shorter's eyes to be touched more. He bent over once more to latch himself near Vik's collar bone. There he simultaneously undid the pants while nibbling on the skin between his teeth. A breathless moan of relief leaped out of Vik's mouth when Simon's hand shoved itself into Vik's pants.
Widened eyes attentively studied the mixed pained and pleasured expression on the shorter. His head rolled back as he began to pant. Simon placed his free hand behind to add support. Vik's eyes unveiled themselves to meet Simon's fascinated watchful stare. The sight of the caramel boy was truly magical. Here he was being dominated but there was no exhaustion, or ghostly appearance. There's no need to remind him he should be having fun. Simon didn't have to be brutal to be in control. Simon didn't even care if he himself was going to get-off next. This was the best sexual experience he had in weeks.
"Almost... Keep going..." Vik moaned. His sounds of gratification grew louder.
"Shhh." Simon reminded. But Vik didn't pay attention to him so he had to be muzzled with another kiss.
"Ah!"
But the exclamation squeaked from the wrong person. Florescent lighting exposed the two. Simon's hand still in Vik's pants. A shocked Tobi remained frozen in the doorway. A horrified Vik stared back. Simon lunged across the room to slam the door shut - locking it this time - and to yank Tobi inside.
"Get that hand off me!" he yelped in disgust.
"You didn't lock the fucking door?! Blondes are fucking idiots!" Vik yelled. Simon slumped against the doorframe, burying his face in his hands. He had humiliated him in front of a friend. "This is why I don't do these things in public!"
"This-this isn't the first time?" Tobi struggled to comprehend his confusion into words. This he never would've guessed. Vik always seemed so annoyed by the flirty boy's presence.
"No, it's not, Tobi. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. You weren't really supposed to find out at all." Vik fumed. If only he had stayed strong against Simon's charm. Those lips are too addicting.
"Don't be sorry. Wait... Don't tell me. Is this what you were during tutoring?" Tobi realized. Vik nodded.
"There was no actual tutoring last semester. It was a lie..."
"But why lie? Seems a little silly."
Which is what Simon had been wondering this whole time. All he wanted was to skip the games and strut themselves in front of everyone. There was no one to fear. Sneaking around gets exhausting. Physical touch is Simon's primary love language. Sure, keeping things private made it all special for them two; However, Simon's love is not to be controlled. It leaves him shameful of his emotions.
"Because I'm not comfortable with my sexuality like he is. I didn't want to come out as another toy that has to compete with other more confident guys every time we're in public." He answered looking up at Simon.
"Love... I'm sorry I forgot to lock the door."
"Look, don't- I just need a day to cool off." Vik shuffled out of the room with his head hung low. "And it's still a secret, Tobi." The closet was left in silence and darkness. Until Tobi flicked on the light switch.
"Oh great. Another secret. I can't tell Vik this, or Harry that! These two are ridiculous." Tobi scowled, shaking his head.
"Do you think he's actually mad at me?"
"He'll come around. He's just in shock. There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's his good ol' friend who now knows." he reassured. "Can we do something about him and Harry though?"
"What do you mean?"
"Their friendship is on the rocks." Simon appeared puzzled. Last time he checked they were all good. Never fighting. "If they're constantly hiding things they clearly aren't trusting or comfortable with each other. That's not a true friendship."
"That's not my business. Nor my biggest concern right now."
"Could you at least maybe mention it to Vik?"
"Maybe." Truthfully? Probably not. Simon just wants to know Vik still loves him. A toy would never be texted everyday or kissed with such care. Too concerned about Vik, Simon failed to notice he left with empty hands.