(Axel, adventurer guild, around 6 pm)
Everyone was partying in the guild with the destruction of the Mobile Fortress Destroyer. Because of the large bounty by the kingdom to exterminate the Destroyer, me and Kazuma's party were each given 100 million tomorrow for playing a large part in the extermination.
But despite the fact I destroyed a large part of the forest, basically killing millions of wildlife, which imma check my stats later, I wasn't punished nor reprimanded! And I thought because destroying a bunch of monsters and forests will cause the number of kill quests to plummet destroying the more experienced adventurer's income, whilst also strangling the novice adventurer's who do easy quests like herb gathering. Their explanation for the entire thing was because something like this always happens in the winter, and the adventurer's around Axel getting a livable amount that can last them for a few weeks, it was fine.
(Y/N): Hey, Kazuma? Don't you think you are going a bit... overboard?
Kazuma: WHO CARES (Y/N)! WE'RE STILL ALIVE, EVERYTHING HAS GONE PERFECTLY AND WITH THE MONEY I'VE GOTTEN, I'VE FINALLY CLEARED MY DEBT! LIFE IS GREAT! HEY CUTIE, CAN I GET ANOTHER!
Megumin: Darkness, can't I just have a little! Kazuma and Aqua are having fun!
Darkness: No Megumin, you can't! You are far too young!
Aqua: KAZUMA, I- IS IT JUST ME OR SOMETHING ELSE, LATELY, I'VE BEEN FEELING SOMETHING DEEP IN MY BEAUTIFUL HEART-
Kazuma was drunk off of his feet, Aqua is confessing to him, Megumin was talking to... actually, who was she again? I think... oh yeah! Darkness was preventing Megumin from drinking (which is the good thing by the way). Maybe I should at least interact with her, yeah that seems like a good idea.
(Y/N): Hey there Darkness, I haven't talked to you before, but I'm an acquaintance of Kazuma, so nice to meet you!
Darkness: Hey Megumin, can you please sit still for a moment. Ah- yes, hello there. I am Darkness. A proud crusader for the Eris order!
(Y/N): Eris order? Why the hell- wait... Nevermind. Sorry for my rudeness.
Darkness: Ehem, that's fine. I will let you off with this one time. But, I do have one question though-
(Y/N): I'm all ears!
She seemed normal to say the least, but then again, this is Kazuma's party so this conversation might degrade soon. Also, if she's part of Eris' religion, it might be better if I used her other identity instead.
Darkness: -HOW DO YOU ALREADY KNOW MY NAME?! ARE YOU A PERVERTED STALKER WHO WANTS TO KIDNAP ME AND TO MAKE ME HIS PERSONEL TOY?!? OR WORKING WITH OLDER PERVERTED MEN TO CAPTURE ME, AND CORRUPT ME TO TURN ME INTO A SEX SLAVE?! ALSO, THAT MAGIC YOU USED, IF YOU CAN, COULD YOU USE IT ON ME INSTEAD TO LIFT SOME OF YOUR MAGICAL STRESS!
Ah yes, comedic timing! How wonderful! It seems as if she's a masochistic nymphomaniac! Usually, I'd most definitely want to take her to bed because... ya know? But the fact she thinks in 5-dimensional chess levels of masochistic desire is where I draw the line!
(Y/N): Well, you see. I was the one who saved you whilst you were knocked out when you were attacked by the rookie killer. And how do I know your name? Well, it's because my party member "Chris" told me when I passed out from exhaustion.
Darkness: WAIT- YOU KNOW CHRIS?!
(Y/N): U- Uhm yeah I do know her, we're good friends! Is something wrong?
Darkness: Oh, sorry, I lost my cool there for a moment. Chris was my first friend when I started adventuring, she was, and still is, near and dear to me. The last time I saw her was 3 months ago, and the fact that you know her is amazing! Can I see her?
Woman, you've already dug to the other side of the world.
(Y/N): Sorry, she's busy at the moment. Something to do with... uh... crime? Stealing? Yeah stealing, that's it!
Darkness: Oh, yeah. I see.
(Y/N): So uh... you should look behind you.
Darkness: Oh, why? Do you want to take advantage of me being distracted and tie me up! Raping me in front of the entire guild!
(Y/N): W- what? NO! MEGUMIN HAS ALREADY DRUNK 6 GOBLETS OF BEER! HER LIVER IS GOING TO FAIL HER!
Darkness: W- WHAT. MEGUMIN I TOLD YOU TO NOT DRINK THAT KIND OF STUFF!
(Y/N): I'm just- Uhh- going away.
When I went out of the guild, I saw Wiz in the street out in the crowded streets, looking like she was going somewhere. I decided to call her out because, still, Megumin said she was a lich! But, it looks like she IS a good acquaintance to Kazuma, and she might help me learn a new useful skill!
(Y/N): Hey there! Wiz! I want to talk to you for a minute!
Wiz: W- W- W- What do you want with me?
(Y/N): Hey there, I'm (Y/N), I believe we say each other before have we not? Anyways, during your explosion chant with Megumin and Yunyun, she said you were a-
Wiz: W- W- W- WAIT! P- PLEASE D- D- DON'T REVEAL THIS SECRET OF MINE! I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! ALL MY MONEY! MY PRIDE! EVEN M- M- MY BODY! J- J- JUST PLEASE DON'T LEAK THIS!
(Y/N): Oye, just- I'm not blackmailing you. That's not how I roll, but since you are a lich, can you teach me some magic that is exclusive to liches?
Wiz: Ooh. T- T- Thank you, I r- r- really appreciate it. But I can't s- show any skills right now, so I'll show you s- s- small but useful magic!
A small black hand came out under her skirt.
Wiz: T- T- This is called s- s- shadow hands. It's good to help w- when you need to open doors when your hands are full, or can help fill in multiple documents under a short time, plus, with the fact that it doesn't consume magic-pow, but instead, limited to the fixed amount instead, but because of limitations, a single hand can only hold so much as around 500g so it's not practical for large scale item transportation.
(Y/N): Really, that little? Also, did you just say grams? How the hell does this vastly underdeveloped, magically dependent world have the METRIC SYSTEM!
Wiz: A- A- AH I'M SO SORRY FOR DISAPPOINTING YOU! I NEED TO GO NOW!
(She ran away)
(Y/N): Sigh*
Okay, a girl running from me IS painful, but hey! At least I have a new skill! And to counter the weight problem, I'm just going to use a simple solution I thought of. Use more than one shadow hand.
Which is a good time for me to check my adventurer rank!
___________________________________________________________________________
Adventure Card
Name: (Y/N) (L/N), "Black weapons master"
Level: 48
Experience: 6820/48000
Job: Adventurer
Stats
Strength 4
(31)
Health 3
(3000/4500)
Magic-pow 5
(53)
Dexterity 7
Intelligence 8
(198)
Agility 7
(78)
Luck 9
(2139)
Skills:
Skill points: 310
NEWEST SKILLS:
Active:
Shadow hands: (3 skill points required to learn)
Passive:
Sonic speed: With this skill, the user can go at unimaginable speeds that, before, they can't handle
Complete weapon mastery: Every conventional weapon becomes a completely viable option to choose when fighting.
Intellectual: You are smart enough to understand Rick and Morty
_____________________________________________________________________________
(Y/N): Oh my! Well, I just need some good sleep, so [Shadow hands] carry me to my bed!
(The next day)
The "Mobile Fortress Destroyer", contrary to its messed up name, was feared by everyone in the world and had a bounty on it. With Kazuma's wonderful tactics and commands, and my dismantling of the Destroyer's legs, we were able to repel it safely without any casualties. We were told we could get an award for, so we came to the guild, but...
Law girl: ADVENTURER SATOU KAZUMA AND (Y/N) (L/N)! YOU ARE SUSPECTED OF TRYING TO SUBVERT THE STATE! YOU TWO ARE TO COME WITH ME!
Kazuma: ... Erm... what? And who might you be? And what do you mean when you say subverting the state ...?
Law girl: I'm the Kingdom's Royal Persecutor Sena. State subversion is a crime of which those who cause incidents that shake the state accused. You are aware, are you not? You two are suspected-
(Y/N): IS THAT AN AMONG US REFERENCE?!?
The Sena went silent and looked at me in confusion.
(Y/N): Sorry, a force of habit. Continue on.
Eris: Are you okay?
Sena: Uhm... as I was saying, you two are suspected of being terrorist, or possibly one's that belong to the Demon King's Army.
Everyone in the guild: EEEHHH!?
Kazuma had his party hammering him with countless accusations, whilst my party members decided to discuss with me on what I did.
Eris: (Y/N), do you have any ideas on why you are being accused? Maybe it's your political view that's having you involved?
(Y/N): Oh please, I may advocate for true social equality, and would much prefer socialism, but I'm fine with this non-aligned nation! The only other thing I could think of as a form of accusation is the hundreds of kilos of explosive gasoline all pact under here in small pockets. And even THAT is a stretch.
Eris: YOU HID WHA-
(Y/N): Shh, I didn't want any tyrannical government or enemy to take Axel, so, as a last-ditch effort IF Axel falls, it can do one last major damage to any bastard that takes this! Also maybe the hundreds of posters calling the nobility a bunch of incest filled, corruption fuelled, bigots who believe they are superior to everyone just because they were born in the rich minority...
Eris: What else did you do that can cause State Subversion?
(Y/N): Destroying the environment? Tax evasion? I think that's it. Hey Yunyun, are you doing fine, you look sick!
Yunyun: A- a- ah yes, (Y/N)! I'm doing fine! It's just that... uh...
(Y/N): Yunyun, so you basically can't function in large crowds of people huh? Anyways, that doesn't matter now, Yunyun, what do you think I'm being accused of?
Yunyun: W- w- well, it may be because of our destructive t- t- training, but because I also participate in it, it's strange to see I'm not included.
(Y/N): Hey actually, why not tell her directly!
Sena: Anyway! A large explosion was caused by the orders of Kazuma and (Y/N), when (Y/N) released his strange magic, it exploded the landlord's mansion setting ablaze causing mass destruction to the surrounding!
(Y/N): Great timing as always me.
Kazuma: O- Oh my god... somebody died in such an unlucky way because of me...!?
(Y/N): Thanks for taking one for the team Kazuma!
Sena: HE'S NOT DEAD! DON'T JUST GO AHEAD AND KILL HIM OFF! Fortunately, there was nobody on the premises, so there were no injuries. But the mansion has been blown to smithereens!
Kazuma: SERIOUSLY!? Well, if there were zero casualties, then that's good to hear.
(Y/N): I don't really see what's all the fuss about! I mean, it could be worse?
Sena: WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ABOUT THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN!? YOU HAVE IGNITED AN FIERY EXPLOSION IN THE LANDLORD'S MANSION AND BLEW IT UP! CURRENTLY, YOU ARE FACING SUSPECTS OF BEING TERRORISTS, OR WHO BELONGS TO THE DEMON KING'S ARMY!!
Megumin: Hmph. And there I was expecting something. How foolish... It is true that the one who ordered and the one who immobilized the destroyer was Kazuma and (Y/N)... But that was something that had been done in order for me, Wiz and Yunyun to hit the destroyer with pinpoint accuracy. Who knows what would have happened if I- I mean us weren't able to hit our explosion magic. BACK THEN, WITHOUT KAZUMA'S CLEVERNESS AND (Y/N)'S (in my Crimson Demon approval) DEVASTATING MAGIC, WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF WE'D MISS! IF WE DID, THEN THE ENTIRETY OF AXEL WOULD'VE BEEN DESTROYED! CALLING THEM TERRORISTS IS ABSURD! PLEASE STOP YOUR FALSE ACCUSATIONS!
Big crowd: YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! KAZUMA AND (Y/N) ARE THE HEROES WHO SAVED THIS TOWN!!
Kazuma: Y- You guys...
(Y/N): Why do I feel like a sidekick? I mean, why am I accused of such... I don't know. Poorly placed plot points?
I said at the back of the guild on looking at what's happening.
Eris: (Y/N), you just need to hold on for another chapter, and you would be fine!
(Y/N): Eris! This chapter has gone over 2000 WORDS! Eh, I'll just take your advice...
Yunyun: What are you two talking about?
(Y/N): Eh, just some casual 4th wall breaks.
Sena: By the way, there are cases where a state subversion crime is applied to people other than the principal offender. It would be wise to watch out for your behaviour. Of course, that wouldn't really matter if you don't mind getting jailed.
That's when everyone in the guild went silent, looking at Kazuma with cold stares. They then start piling on things to make Kazuma look worse in the eyes of the law. And it seems he is visibly about to cry.
(Y/N): Goddamit, they aren't siding with us! I mean, both of you are still on my side right? We're great friends, aren't we?
Yunyun: Y- Y- Yes, I would give you my full support. Even if I suffer jail time, if it's to support m- m- my first true friend, then I'm all for it!
Eris: I just... I don't want to be arrested, but I could have my other persona send you items that can make prison life better.
(Y/N): Eh, you do you. I don't want you to get involved with any drama I'm in.
(Y/N): Hey Kazuma, although everyone else, including your friends, may have kicked you off the bus, into a steep hill, onto a jagged beach, and realizing you are still a virgin-
Kazuma: TOO FAR MAN!
(Y/N): At least we have one other person on our side. So at least we aren't fully alone!
Kazuma: Ah, thanks (Y/N), at least we have other people to help us.
As the guards went to arrest us, I proceeded to tell Kazuma something.
(Y/N): Oh yeah, Kazuma, before you get executed, can you write a will so that I could get a share of your property value?
Kazuma: WHAT THE HELL? WHY ARE YOU EXPECTING YOU EXPECTING OUR DEATHS SO OPENLY?!
(Y/N): Wh- What? NO! I'm not giving open arms to my death? I'm expecting your death! So you better write that will of yours!
Kazuma: WHAT THE HELL!!!
[Chapter end]
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Author's afterword:
Hey you, yes you, It's the author! Accidentally deleted half of this chapter because of one mistake so I had to rewrite this entire thing. Also, if you think this reasoning for getting locked up is stupid, you haven't seen any of my other stupid brainstorms just yet!
Also, sorry for not uploading for 5 days straight. as a gift, have a two and a half thousand-word chapter.
Word count: Excluding the chapter end- 2433