I love angst also this may or may not be the 'does he hit u 🥺' cliche but yeah sh
TW: abusive relationship, manipulation, stuff like that
Sakusa was a simple man, bad things didn't happen to him or the people that he loved.
He had never experienced loss, never had trouble in school, never had trouble with relationships, never had any sort of trauma. His mother and father were great people, they raised him well and he loved them. They rarely fought, and when they did it was petty. He never got into any accidents, never broke a bone, never suffered from any serious illness, nothing. He'd only ever been to the hospital once, and that was on the day of his birth.
So why did he suddenly start having this feeling of impending doom?
The feeling was barely noticeable at first, but over time it became more prominent. The more he saw this one person, the more the feeling wouldn't go away. Something about that guy, something told Sakusa that he was going to be the cause of something bad, something horrible.
That man, Hiroto Furukawa, was Atsumu's first boyfriend after he came out to everyone.
Ever since Atsumu introduced him to Sakusa, Sakusa knew something was off about him. On the outside, he was completely normal, ideal even. He had dyed dark purple hair, and despite his japanese name, he was from America.
At first, Sakusa thought that he was getting an off vibe from this guy because he was from America. As his name implied, Hiroto did have a big presence. Whenever he was in a room, everyone knew that he was there. They could all feel his aura from miles away. (an: in japanese Hiroto means big, great, large, command, and other things like that 👍)
For a long time, Sakusa shrugged the whole thing off. After all, this guy seemed normal and he showed no outward signs of being a horrible person. Sakusa often saw them holding hands while they walked, sharing an ice cream, going on dates and other such things. Hiroto was just a cheerful guy who was in love with his boyfriend.
Unfortunately, that was far from the truth.
Atsumu also once thought that Hiroto Furukawa was an angel sent from the gods. He was perfect, he never told Atsumu that he was annoying, never complained about his clinginess, was open to talking about things, loved PDA, was good at cooking, so on and so on. It was these things that made Atsumu fall head over heels for him. Everyday he would be thinking about Hiroto, every second spent with him was like magic.
Well, that's how it started anyway.
"Darling! I'm back!" Atsumu yelled out into his apartment that he shared with Hiroto. After a few seconds, Atsumu heard no reply, so he figured that his boyfriend hadn't heard him.
"Helloooo? I said I'm back!" This time, he heard a noise, but it sounded nothing like a reply. With his eyebrows furrowed and a million thoughts racing through his mind, Atsumu took a few more steps into the apartment towards the noises.
At first, he thought that it was some kind of dying animal, but as he drew nearer, he realised they were moans. A woman's moans.
Atsumu froze. He had to be crazy, he wasn't hearing this correctly. Had he gone into the wrong apartment? No, everything looked exactly like his apartment.
The air was still, the only noises that could be heard were rustling sheets and a creaking bed.
Atsumu's heart sank all the way to the pit of his stomach, and then back up to his throat when he heard his boyfriend whisper.
"Shh, he's home."
Atsumu slid open the bedroom door, and just as he suspected there was his boyfriend over a half naked woman.
His eyes widened and the muscles in his face started twitching randomly. This wasn't happening to him, he was dreaming. This was his brain trying to play a cruel trick on him. Something wasn't right, this wasn't his loving boyfriend who told him every single night that he loved Atsumu with all of his heart.
"Love, it's not what you think, I promise," Hiroto said, getting up from the bed and walking over to Atsumu slowly, "let me explain."
Atsumu couldn't think, he just stared at Hiroto until his eyes felt like they were going to roll out of his sockets and onto the unvacuumed carpet. He bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head back and forth and back and forth. It wasn't true, none of this was real, he was going to snap out of it soon.
"Get out, " Hiroto whispered to the woman. She nodded, took her clothes and rushed out of their apartment. Hiroto led Atsumu over to the bed where he sat him down and stroked his arm. Atsumu still couldn't say anything. His throat felt too tight. He could barely get in a breath before he found that he needed to take another one, and then another.
Oh god, he was having a panic attack.
"Shhh, hey it's okay, you're okay," Hiroto said while rubbing circles on Atsumu's back. Atsumu didn't stop him, he just let him do it. He needed the comfort, he didn't care who it came from.
"Let me explain," Hiroto started then licked his lips.
"I've been having a hard time with work lately, and I know that you're tentative about more...intimate things, so instead of pushing you I wanted to respect your boundaries so I found that woman and now I don't feel so stressed anymore. You understand, right?"
The story was total and utter bullshit, but Atsumu believed it. He believed it because he was in love and right then he needed Hiroto to tell him that everything was going to be okay. Atsumu didn't have anyone else who would do that, so he took it from Hiroto. He forgave him, he bought the half-baked story and he forgave him.
Weeks later, Hiroto had yet to bring another woman home to get rid of his "stress," so Atsumu believed that he had kept his promise of not sleeping with women because it made Atsumu uncomfortable. That said, it's not like their relationship got any better.
"Babe, did you do the dishes like I asked you?" Atsumu asked after he came home from the groceries. He had been asking Hiroto to do little things around the house when Atsumu went out shopping, and recently he hadn't been doing anything.
Hiroto was on the couch eating the last of Atsumu's favourite snack. He paused the TV and looked up at Atsumu, who had a scowl on his face.
"Ohhh, sorry love, I forgot." This was the seventh time Hiroto had "forgotten" to do a chore while Atsumu was out. Atsumu really didn't ask much. Do the dishes from time to time, stay out of him food, take out the trash, it really wasn't anything compared to what Atsumu did around the house. Obviously, Atsumu was going to be angry.
"Seriously? You always 'forget' to do chores while I'm out!" Atsumu said, his voice slightly raised.
"Hey! I'm only human, you can't expect me to remember everything!" Hiroto argued back. Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose and started putting away groceries.
"Fine, you can do them now then." Atsumu started putting some things away in the fridge while he gave the instructions. Hiroto groaned and spat some complaint or another. Whenever he was in a situation like this, he usually said something like 'you ask so much of me', 'I do so much around here, you should start doing more', 'why are you so upset about this?' etcetera, etcetera.
Atsumu squeezed his eyes shut and slammed the fridge door shut. He had had enough of Hiroto complaining about doing the smallest of tasks.
"Oh my god, why is this so hard for you?! It's just some damn dishes! I don't know why you have to whine and moan about some dishes!" Atsumu yelled. He didn't mean to sound as aggressive as he had, but the damage had already been done. Hiroto was staring at Atsumu with wide eyes and an open mouth. Atsumu froze and his heart seemed to stop in place. He wished that he could melt into a black hole right then and there and never have to speak to anyone ever again.
"Jeez, okay okay, just calm down, it's not that big of a deal," Hiroto said, finally getting up and walking over to the sink. He turned on the water and looked over his shoulder at Atsumu.
"You seriously need to get a grip," he spat, and Atsumu wasn't sure if he meant to say it the way he did, but that didn't matter. The only thought that was at the forefront of his mind was 'why am I such a jerk?'
~
It had been months since Hiroto had really become the person he was. He wasn't loving towards Atsumu anymore, and it led him to think that he had done something wrong and he needed to win back Hiroto's love. He would try to buy him presents, let him pick the movies they watched, let him pick the food they ate, but nothing ever seemed to work.
Though, sometimes, Atsumu got random bursts of affection and love from Hiroto, and god, it was amazing. He couldn't get enough of it, and that was what kept him from leaving.
He only really considered the idea of breaking up with Hiroto after he had an outing with him and Sakusa.
"Ommmiiii!! Stop walking so fast! We can't keep up!" Atsumu shouted at Sakusa who was in front of the couple. Atsumu and Hiroto were holding hands, Hiroto was not pleased in the slightest.
"I don't like that you call him by his first name, stop it," Hiroto demanded. It was a reasonable request, Atsumu thought. He would probably get jealous if Hiroto called someone else by their first name, but this was Sakusa. Sure, Sakusa was handsome, and cute when he got sentimental, and gave really good hugs when he was in the mood for it...sometimes Atsumu wondered if Sakusa would ever love someone like Atsumu. Atsumu sometimes thought that he loved Sakusa.
Wait
What?
What was he thinking? He didn't think about being in love with his best friend, that was practically cheating! No, it was just a passing thought that happened to cross Atsumu's minf somehow.
"Aw Hiroto, it's okay, Omi and I are just friends, no need to be jealous!" Somehow, saying that sentence felt like he was lying.
Hiroto scowled and avoided eye contact, keeping his gaze at the sidewalk ahead.
"I still don't like it, so cut it out." Atsumu sighed. It was clear that Hiroto was in one of his moods and the only way to get him out of it was to not argue, so Atsumu didn't.
"Okay, sorry love, I'll do better."
Hiroto smiled and looked over at Atsumu. He rubbed Atsumu's hand with his thumb, and that was exactly the thing that Atsumu needed to forget how Hiroto had just acted. All of his past actions melted away when he started to be his affectionate self.
Though, Hiroto's tricks weren't going to fool Sakusa.
~
They had gotten to the restaurant they were eating at and after appetisers, Hiroto had gone to the bathroom. While they were alone, Sakusa leaned over the table and whispered to Atsumu.
"You need to break up with him, he's manipulating you." Right after Sakusa had said it, Atsumu's only reaction was a furrowed brow and an incredulous look. Sakusa sighed and tried to explain in more detail.
"He doesn't actually love you, he's playing with your feelings and getting off on it. When you act like his obedient little dog...he's taking advantage of you." Atsumu scoffed. There was no way that Hiroto, his Hiroto, was taking advantage of him in any way.
"Pft, what? You're kidding," Atsumu said while waving his hand in dismissal.
"No, I'm serious...he's being a jerk and waiting for you to butter him up and let him do...other things with you and give you attention as a reward. Also, I've seen your apartment. It's clear you're the only one doing the work."
Atsumu paused. That did sound similar to how Hiroto acted, but that was just the way he was. He got into moods sometimes, so what? He couldn't expect him to be his best 100% of the time. And Atsumu didn't even mind doing most of the chores, it made Hiroto happy, so it was worth it.
"No, silly O- I mean, Sakusa. That's just the way he is! We're alright, you don't need to worry."
"But-" Before Sakusa could finish, Hiroto came back from the bathroom and sat down next to Atsumu.
"What'd I miss?"
~
After that experience, Atsumu couldn't stop over-analysing everything that Hiroto did. Every time he was in a bad mood, every time he yelled at Atsumu for small things, every time he acted like Atsumu was crazy when he got mad.
Maybe Sakusa was right, they should break up.
Atsumu sat down Hiroto one night and expressed how he felt. He poured out all of his thoughts onto their poorly assembled Ikea coffee table and let the contents of his heart splash on their floor like drunken vomit. The whole time, Hiroto was defending himself every time Atsumu mentioned something bad that he had done.
When Atsumu finally finished, he ended with the sentence that no one wants to say or hear.
"I think we should break up."
Hiroto exploded.
He shot up from the couch and started screaming about how they couldn't break up, how he loved Atsumu, how everything he did was because he loved Atsumu. Atsumu tried to keep a level head and calm down Hiroto, but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, Atsumu started to scream back.
That was the mistake.
Atsumu didn't remember what he said, all he remembered was the stinging pain on his cheek right after he had said it. He lifted his hand up to where he felt the red hot pain. It was still sensitive from what had just happened.
Hiroto hit him. Square in the jaw.
It wasn't a light punch either, if it were only a little bit harder it could've broken his jaw.
Built up tears started pouring out of Atsumu's eyes. He looked up at Hiroto. He still looked just as angry as he had five seconds ago, but upon seeing Atsumu's face, his own softened.
"Wait, baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean it-"
"Save it."
Atsumu ran over to the door and hurriedly put his shoes on. He knew where he needed to go. He needed to go there a long time ago. He should've been there right then rather than this suffocating apartment.
"Atsu, wait!" Hiroto called, the pain in his voice sounding a bit too forced. Atsumu didn't give him the grace of a response. A moment later, he was out the door and in his car on his way to Saku- no, Omi's house.
Atsumu was the last person Sakusa expected to show up unannounced at 23:30. When he came stumbling through the door, tears and snot running down his face and pathetic gasps of help flying from his lips, Sakusa knew that he needed to be there. He needed to be there for Atsumu more than he needed anything else.
Sakusa held Atsumu up at the front door and let him inside while whispering words of comfort as he led him to the couch. He sat Atsumu down and left only for a second before coming back with a box of tissues. Atsumu took them and blew his nose at least three times before the started talking.
"Ommiii...Omi you- you were right!" Atsumu lamented through sobs, "he...Omi he-" before he could finished, Atsumu burst out into more sobs. Sakusa only sat there, not pushing him to tell him what had happened. If Sakusa had to wait, then he would wait until the end of the world.
"Omi, he hit me," Atsumu cried, more tears falling down his face and on the couch. Sakusa's eyes widened with a rage that he had never felt before. He refrained from saying anything, and instead let Atsumu continue.
"You were right Omi...he..he didn't really love me...Omi I don't know what to doooo!" Atsumu flung himself onto Sakusa, and Sakusa did his best not to topple over. Instead of complaining about germs and such to piss off Atsumu, he rubbed his back. He traced his fingers up and down Atsumu's spine, still whispering words of comfort.
Sakusa had never before had anything bad happen to him, but now that it had, he was furious. He would rip apart the world if he could, and in his blind rage, he felt that he could.
Sakusa was in love with Atsumu, truly in love, and he was going to make sure that Hiroto Furukawa knew what true love felt like. He would teach him what love makes you do. He would do anything to make Atsumu feel better at that very moment.
"You're okay now," Sakusa whispered and cupped Atsumu's cheek in his hand, "I'm not going to let him touch you ever again."
Lololol hope u enjoyed. might make a part two where Sakusa beats the shit out of Hitoro, or i might not idk. this took way too long to write lmaooooo its like almost three in the morning (help) anyway uh see you with the next oneshot at some point.
-Sweetie
word count: 3k