I am standing outside the Magistrates court, a multi windowed, aged brick building that I have walked past several times and for some reason or another have always believed it to be a club. As I walk inside and see the tall walls and far away ceiling, I think it would make a good club and I wonder if they would consider this as an option should people stop committing crime one day. I stuff the remainder of the chicken salad wrap that I brought from the sandwich shop earlier on into my mouth which puffs my cheeks out like a hamster, Gee looks at me and shakes her head. Rain has a breakable looking, gold coloured chain draped between her fingers with a crystal on the end that she is cradling in her palm as if it has the powers to decide her fate. Maybe it does but if she holds on to it any tighter she will have to be more concerned with her fingers tearing apart spilling blood onto this lifeless floor than her fate.
Marcia Ellis is called into the court room. Oh yeah, the whole Rain name change thing was only ever officialised in airy compartments of Rains head. According to her, you don't need to involve the government or any other external agency if you decide to change your name as its your name and your body and "Why do they need to know anyway?" which all sounds good and well except for the fact that you do need to let them know, so in the event you end up in court on assault charges, you don't end up cringing like Rain is doing right now at the sound of your "government name." She walks with her signature lethargic sway over to the court room, me and Gee have been given strict instructions to wait outside so we don't have to see her being publicly humiliated like a common criminal for trying to defend her daughter (her words not mine) and I'm okay with this because this court room is nothing like you see on the TV. There is no semi naked animal rights activist who has managed to bypass security and is holding an illegible sign written in a fading marker pen on the back of a delivery box. There's no rake thin security man running down the hallway after them holding his hat on his small head shouting "stop that man." There's no secret romance between judge and journalist, no mass murderers trying to make a run for it, no barrister causing a stir by openly defying the written rules, in fact, aside from my crunching on these surprisingly bland crisps I don't think I've heard anything for the past three minutes. The vibration on my phone shakes the bench like a sound blaster in a small rusty car tries to break through the speakers.
"You're not supposed to have that on in here,"
"In here?" I point down.
"Yes in here where else would I be talking about, over there?"
"No I'm just saying we aren't technically in the court rooms are we so..."
"Soooo, have it on silent at least, you almost woke that old man up over there, have some manners" she smiles.
I look over at the old man, shoulders slumped and chin resting securely against his chest,
"How inconsiderate of me,"
"Who is it anyway? It' been buzzing non-stop?"
It is William and as I have not yet officially terminated our agreement he is wanting to know what time he can see me Not if, what time. The assertion is slyly attractive but borderline annoying as now I have to break it to him and I understand why ghosting is a thing. It's a shit thing of course and if I were to write a list of all people the people I have been ghosted by it would fill an Argos catalogue, not those flimsy effortless catalogues they do now either, I'm talking the original heavy duty ones, but I get it, kind of. Now I must go through the ridiculous task of telling a man I am not with, that I no longer wish to see him for no real reason other than I don't want to and don't really have to, so I won't. This is probably an area I could use Gee's problem solving expertise in but when it comes to her and Rain I have kept the details of my sugaring to a minimum and weirdly they haven't questioned me much about it either which is out of character, especially for Gee. This makes me wonder if they even believed me when I told them in the first place, probably not, I wouldn't believe me. I mean, dating random men for money but it making no real financial difference on my life. I mean, I'm no longer limited to beans on toast or shop brand noodles but I can't quite order sushi without having to compromise the amount of electricity I put I my metre for the week. Thinking of how to approach the situation is causing a dull pain between my eyes and a change of subject is needed, so I decide to ask Gee,
"You ever thought about working here?"
"Here?" she asks me like what I've suggested is so unreasonable
"Yeah, why not! You need a job don't you and you have a law degree and all that so why don't you just work here,"
"Sis," she shakes her head at me and returns her attention to her phone. I want to remind her that it was only minutes ago she was telling me off for having my phone out but I don't, she has enough on her plate with being unemployed and all. About that, my dear sister Gee. Gee who studied and studied at varying educational institutes, Gee saviour of the working man, rescuer of the underdog, warrior for social justice. Gee who rebukes the consumption of animal flesh, supports the rights of Bee's, actually puts the spider in a cup scoops it's disgusting stalk-like little legs up with newspaper and takes it outside instead of squashing it with an odd trainer. Gee who gives advice (often unsolicited) solves friendship dramas and boldly rides public transport as if it's the only way there is to get around, that Gee, is unfortunately, ashamedly, unemployed. Who knew? Not me, that's for sure which is a true testament to my self-involvement. See, as much as people do for others with minimal regard for themselves, there becomes a need to be seen, an urge to be recognised and in Gee's case, a strong desire to be compensated. She will deny this, of course, but the opportunity arose for her to work for a non-profit for actual profit. The lady who approached her felt Gee would be a great fit to them team, admired her tenacity and felt she "had a calling" to do the right thing. Sounds liked a cult to me but somehow she convinced Gee that there was no doubt she was the person to fill their recent vacancy which involved a similar type of work she did for free but with a salary and expenses paid (not that Gee has many, she basically lives off the land).
So, Gee prepped for the interview, waited in haste for the interview, couldn't contain her excitement for the interview. Gee flunked the interview, turned up late for the interview, mistook the manager for the cleaner at the interview, displayed that perhaps she wasn't the person they were looking for after all, suggested she may as well keep her part time and work for free jobs which she also stopped doing. Gee says she is taking the time to find out what it is that she really wants to do, and I won't even try to understand what the point of studying for millennials is only to become qualified and have to take time out to decide what you really want to do after one rejection. I really am going to have to consider her self-appointed position as CEO of my personal business if this is the attitude she has.
Rain has invited Gee to a Goddess circle, naturally, centered around reconnecting with your feminine divine and reclaiming your confidence. She thinks it's society's fault that Gee flunked the interview for all the unnatural pressures, unrealistic goals and time spans it puts on women and said it's about time Gee truly connected with the Goddess within. I don't know if I agree or disagree, but I was sure to give Gee my two cents on the menu and asked her to look out for my wandering socks (which may well be on the way to Cornwall by now) should she choose to attend.
After what felt like hours, but was likely only a few minutes, Rain comes out of the court room with her court appointed defender and his court appointed face which looked eerily similar to Mr Brick-foot but with 100% less hair. Disappointment and confusion are painted on her face as the defender fumbles around in what looks like a court appointed briefcase muttering something that floats through Rains left ear and out the right.
"Ladies," he nods as he drops Rain off and walks down the corridor in his ill fitted trousers.
"Well you're not in prison so that's a plus," says Gee.
"No, but they've assigned me community service," Rain sighs
"Cleaning up litter, making the community more habitable, I thought that would be right up your alley,"
"It's not the activity I dislike it's the fact I am being forced to do it, humiliated in a bright orange hi-vis all for defending my daughter," I lean in and give Rain a squeeze
"Orange is the new black," I say
"I'm not even sure they make you wear orange," Gee adds
"Hmm I hope I get to pick," Rain smiles, "I'd pick purple, the colour of independence.
"Independence has a colour?"
"Apparently so," says Gee holding the ten ton door open for us. Why it's necessary to have doors that require you to be a body builder to open is beyond me. We take a stroll down through Wolverhampton city centre, past the white paint smudged windows places that used to be banks or used to be shops until we reach the bus depot.
PROSECCO PEASANTS
Yaz, Kara, Liv
Yaz: So what are you gonna say
Liv: No idea, I haven't opened the message
Yaz: You may as well go my girl it isn't gonna cost you anything
Kara: It's costing her her self esteem Yaz
Yaz: It's not that deep Kaz
Liv: LOL yeah its defo not that deep Kara I just cba, been with Rain most the day and not long got back. She wants us to help her make some candles while we catch up on Coronation Street
Yaz: Coronation Street? How old are you, 57? Next you'll be telling me you watch Emmerdale
Liv: OMG is it on today
Kara: Yep
I roll over on my bed and accidentally knock Gee's elbow, I guess she lives here now although it is becoming painstakingly clear that a one bedroomed flat is not enough for two grown women and Rain. I suggested to Gee that perhaps she should move back In with Dad but the motion was denied as a) Gee still actually has a place of her own, she just prefers to be here breathing down my neck and complaining about my cold feet and b). Dad said there isn't any room for her which makes no sense whatsoever as her old room is literally still there. Still painted green and white, still has a door with a wonky handle and still has a small dent in the wall next to the wardrobe from when we though it would be a good idea to play rounders indoors!
The minute I left the interview the other day I'd convinced myself that I didn't get the job I didn't want which is fine by me as I didn't want it anyway, right? I'd settled into the idea that Reena would be my future line manager, even drawn up a long list of mental pros and cons with the pro's being the majority and mainly centred around me not having to worry too much about being on time and maybe even being able to wriggle my way out of weekend working I so detest , so I am very surprised when a number I haven't saved but recognise the 333 at the end flashes on my screen. Rob, the manager, I'd convinced myself that when I was next in work (which is tomorrow) I'd see Reena in straight leg trousers and a baggy supervisory shirt and nobody would need to say anything as the interview went so bad that there would be a general understanding that I didn't get the job and should probably never apply for anything ever again, not even those loyalties cards they try and push you to sign up for at the till when there's ten people behind you waiting to be served.
"God what is it with you and ignoring messages?" Gee mumbles, unwilling to lift her head from the pillow.
"Nothing! I'm gonna answer it now!" I lie. I had no intention of answering it, I prefer my own scenario to whatever this is. This sympathy call skating around all the reasons I haven't got the role. I can just see his head tilting to the side as he...
"Answer it!"
"Hello,"
"Alright Olive, it's Rob,"
Here we go.