Broke-Ish [Completed]

Chapter 12

I cannot believe you have to join a waiting list to be able to then spend thousands on a bag. It just doesn't feel like a purchase that the seller should delay but it's a thing and this girl has two of these wait list bags. One of her coats looks like a sleeping bag yet it costs more than all the cars my dad has ever owned combined. Her profile is dominated by pictures of her at fancy exclusive resorts or villas where the staff come as part of the deal and if I get started on her shoe collection I may cry. She dines at restaurants where they don't include the prices on the menu and where the waiter gives you a hot towel from the end of a silver tong at the end of your meal. This girls got it made. She's legit and she's graduated from Sugar baby High with first class honours. How else would a girl who appears to do nothing every day get to live such a grand lifestyle. And I'm not even asking for that, not anymore. I don't want £450 trainers or boots that cost a month's wages but look like they have been shipped straight from 14th century. Who wants a coat that looks like rags on top of rags, burnt, frayed, dipped in paint that you have to re-mortgage your house to afford – not that that's even an option to me. No, I just need a couple thousand to get me back on my feet and I'm not fussy. I'll except instalments.

I was so mesmerised by her #lifestyle that I didn't see the "No DMs" warning under the bio with big red X's either side until after I'd sent a DM. I redirected a very desperate, a very shameless and a very beggar email to her and three days pass before I get a response. Hard to believe she's really that busy but here goes:

From:SugarCaneElliexxx@outlook.com

To: LivLuvz471@yahoo.co.uk

Subject: Re: Help!!!

Babeeee I wasn't even gonna respond to you but your story is tragic – what the hell are you even doing? These men are here to take care of us they know what they signed up for but sometimes you've gotta be firm hun – make your intentions clear. No fuckin way should you be paying for your own taxi s and you shouldn't be stepping foot on a coach whether you're a baby or not, are you even about this life? Are your lashes done babe and your nails? Cause you sound like one of those girls who doesn't get them done because they ruin your real nails underneath and if you are I cannot deal!!Men are visual creatures you know, nobody wants tot see your stubs, get them done for FFS!

Don't forget, this is a two way thing Olivia so you know, don't be afraid to send a few messages in-between, a few naughty pics maybe but crop your head out. I know that's obvious hun but really feel like I need to mention that, you haven't gotta clue have ya, bless. Oh, but don't be too clingy and defo don't be entitled, they hate that, you've gotta find some middle ground you know?

And I know it's a bit of a ball ache babe but you've kind of gotta get to know them, you know. The more you know the more your bank balance will grow. Most of em are boring as shit but some aren't and when it comes down to getting physical it helps if you don't have many limits but if you do, don't anything your uncomfortable with.

Keep your eyes on the prize hun and you're lucky I didn't charge for this consultation. Let's just call it my act of charity for the year

Ellz xxxx

I am attacked, wholly and deliberately attacked and the worst part is I brought this upon myself. To think she responded to me because my story – also known as my life - was so pathetic gives me jumbled feelings and I don't know where she's from but I read her whole email in a Mancunian accent – just felt like it fit. I read the email a few more times and I start to feel less like I am being told off by a school teacher and more like I have a mentor who is willing me to do well because it will reflect greatly on them if I do. I think I get it now, I think I know what to do. I have to make it clear that I want their money but not sound like a gold digger. Show them attention but not be clingy. Be firm but not entitled. Get to know and pretend to be interested in their boring lives whilst actively trying to survive my own. Be open to weird sex. It's a bag of contradictions and fluff but if she can do it I see no reason why I can't.