Broke-Ish [Completed]

Chapter 19

Well, I didn't die so that's a plus. I did, however have to spend over an hour at the doctors surgery who were running behind their scheduled appointments but would no doubt turn me away had I shown up an hour late. It was also very unfortunate that my usual doctor, Dr Afi, was unavailable leaving me to be seen by Dr Rushma. Dr Rushma was deceptively tall, the kind of person who appears level with you while sitting but towers over and beyond you while standing, an optical illusion if you will. Her face was soft around the edges, sharp in the middle and her expression staunchly dedicated to being unimpressed, unmoved, and unbelieving of your ailments. She started writing the prescription that I didn't need before my second foot was through the door.

"Hello ermm, Olive?" she questioned without removing her eyes from the screen. I couldn't tell if she was asking if I was Olive or if Olive was a real name. No doubt she was reading my past notes and deciding what it is I might be here for. Her lips were pursed and eyelids low. A doctor by force, I don't think Dr Rushma has smiled a day in her life. Then she asked me how she could help, a question which nearly knocked me off my chair. I tried to go back in time and relive the feelings I'd had when I left my Dads that day. How could I explain it to her when all I wanted to do was forget about it. If it wasn't for Kara insistence, I wouldn't have even called the doctors, not that I'm against doctors or anything it just felt a little over the top. I mean, yes there was a moment where I couldn't breathe enough but I have breathed every day just fine since and Google confirmed that shortness of breath can "sometimes be harmless" which is fine by me. I thought about consulting Rain but I can only imagine what concoction she would make up in the kitchen for me to drink, something herby, floral and pungent I'm guessing. Or worse she'd involve me in some sort of ritual, exorcism style and call in Sun, Wynter, Breeze and the other Rain for back up.

I left Doctors Rushma's office with the knowledge that I had experienced a panic attack and I'm hoping that I don't have any more as while some surprises in life are nice, this was not one of them. "Fairly common" she said as if it wasn't a thing, almost sounding relieved that she didn't have to prescribe me anything. She basically just told me I have too much on my plate then directed me towards a rusty leaflet stand in reception and considered her job done. Kara seemed to mirror Dr Rushma's relief as she drove me home from the appointment before lecturing me on how to lead a purposeful life and how life wasn't to be wasted. I suggested she lay off the self-help books then turned the radio up.

As I enter my flat an earthy scent attacks my nostrils. Rain. I head to the kitchen to see what potion she is making this time and I shouldn't be but I am surprised to see, amongst multiple other items, three large margarine tubs filled with murky grey water. I had seen them before, scraped out and washed before being placed empty outside my front door, but as with many of the things Rain does and often says I didn't question it. But now that they are on my kitchen side I have to ask, though I'm not sure which W to start with first. Why? Where? When? I go with,

"What's all this?"

The way she is flitting around the kitchen in her flowing maxi skirt and beaded hair, makes it seem big.

"War water,"

"War what?"

"War water,"

"Okay so, did you raid a puddle or?"

"I collected it," she moves things around on the kitchen side, eyes piercing each item until she finds what she is looking for,

"Collected it?

"From the sky,"

"So it's rain water?"

"No! It's war water!" I sense her impatience with me, her unspiritual, disconnected, consumerist child as she pours the murky water into empty Ragu sauce jars then adds three long nails in before securing the lid and moving onto the next jar. This is why I don't ask.