There can be times in your life when it seems like you’re no longer reacting emotionally to the world around you. You may notice that people or activities that once made you feel happy are no longer making you feel that way. Instead, you might be feeling numb or a sense of disconnection from your surroundings.
Today let's see a short diary entry regarding this feeling of numbness.
12th August, 2021.Thursday
Today isn't the only day I was feeling numb but I have been feeling the same thing from the past few days. I am no longer happy, but I pretend I am. I try hard to portray the world that I am happy and doing good, but the reality isn't the same. It bothers me not a thing or two but everything. I feel that I would lose someone dear to me or something dear to me. The more I try to overcome this feeling it haunts me more just like the ball we throw away bounces back.
Those days were bitter, but I thought I moved on. Maybe I really didn't, maybe I pretended that I moved on and I was more happy. Now I don't even know what makes me happy. I do things for name sake that starts from breathing to escaping from reality.
But then escaping from reality did no good too. It made me even more worse, I don't know who to talk about this. I am afraid they would show sympathy, I don't want any sympathy but a shoulder to lay on and let out things which are bothering me. Sometimes I feel it's just mood swings or I am over thinking most probably.
Sometimes I feel I am just complicating the things which are not that bad but then these are my feelings. I feel nothing not even happiness nor sadness let's just say that this is a phase and I am addicted to it. It would take time to come out of this but I would definitely come over this, and this is what I keep on saying myself from the past few days.
I don't want to bother anyone, I just want to be happy. Will I ever be able to come out of this feeling and happiness in my life? Maybe there would be a day for sure. I would be waiting for it endlessly.
That was it! If you ever have such thoughts or suicidal thoughts without a second thought just dial the help line numbers mentioned below. Life is a journey filled with ups and downs and we all will get new experiences and lessons each day. At the end of the day the only thing which matters would be if you are going to sleep peacefully.
HELPLINE NUMBERS
AASRA - We're Here To Help.
91- 9820466726
Hours : 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages : English, Hindi.