SYNOPSIS
I always feel like I'm floating through life. There was nothing to hold me in one place, there's nothing that has enough weight for me to stay. It was as if I'm just going through the currents with no place to go.
When I was young, I always look at it as if something to be explored. The possibilities are endless and there's so much I've yet to discover. That's how a child look at the world. With eyes full of wonder and heart full of hope that there's something special out there waiting for her.
I just need to always stay on the safe side and don't ever gamble. I just need to be patient and do good to deserve it.
For a long time I believed that. If I smile more people will like me, if I understand them better they will choose me, if I care for them they will love me.
I thought it was that easy because I wasn't asking for a lot. Gusto ko lang maging masaya. Gusto ko lang mahanap iyong isang bagay na matatawag ko na akin. But I guess the simple things are much harder to have.
It was so tiring that I stopped fighting. I just let the currents take me wherever it needs me to go. Letting the dream of the child in me get drowned by the water. Because out there... there's nothing waiting for me. Out there the horizon is just that; an endless sea of nothingness.
I just didn't expect the next thing life pulled for me. An embodiment of uncertainty. A gamble, an unpredictability.
It's a bittersweet risk. The question is... do I have the winning hand or will I end up holding on to nothing?
The answer... I wouldn't know. Because life's deck of cards just threw me something that is yet to be played.
It gave me a wild card. Life gave it to me through the one man that couldn't be mine.
It gave me Blaze Reynolds.