The smell of bacon wafted to my nose, stirring me awake. I blinked my eyes open, rubbing away the sleep from what felt like an eternity's worth of slumber. The rising sun's rays poured into the room, casting an orange hue. Pushing the duvet down slightly, I sat up and watched Velaris wake from its slumber, and the Night City dwellers head to bed.
Velaris would always be one of my favourite cities.
My body ached while I stretched my arms out, reminding me of the trek down to the room from the day before. I looked down at my chest and saw the Chaostrite glowing brightly still, perhaps due to the aftermath of being in contact with what I assumed to be a Stygian, whatever that was. My magic continued to sleep peacefully.
The last thing I remembered was Everild's eyes. I could have sworn they were black for a momentary second, and I vaguely remember Azriel asking Cassian if he saw something - but whether it was the same thing was another matter. It may have just been my eyes playing tricks on me since I had just been in contact with something so magically old and strong that it could take shape of its host without needing a heart or a brain. It was spectacular, really. Amazing but terrifying at the same time. I had no idea what a Stygian was, and I suppose my trip to the library would help.
I dropped the necklace and realised what I was wearing. My purple sweater from the day before had been replaced with a white cotton tank top with straps so thin I might as well not have been wearing any in the first place. Eyes widened, I realised my pin was no longer attached to me until I saw it resting on the side table out the corner of my eye. I clenched my teeth, throwing the duvet over to reveal a matching pair of shorts that stopped mid-thigh. My thoughts raced while I tried to narrow down who had changed me, and if they had seen my back.
In a fury and without care, I swung my legs over the side of the bed nearest to the door leading into the living room and immediately collapsed onto the floor. A groan left my lips when my bony hip met the floor first, followed by my weakened legs. A sharp pain raced from the first point of contact, and throughout my body. I twisted my body slowly to sit on my butt and leaned back, blinking away the tears forming.
Useless. Pathetic. Good for nothing.
My thoughts were racing once again, this time in the voice of the imposter I had the pleasure of meeting yesterday. I pressed my feet flat on the floor, my hands now resting on my knees. I closed my eyes and, for the first time in four hundred years successfully, took a deep breath in through my nose.
Cunt. Bitch. Slut. Failure. Loveless. Alone.
I released the breath through my mouth. I took another breath in through my nostrils.
Bastard child. Unloved. Unwanted. First to die. First to leave. Never thought about.
The screaming in my head had quietened by the time I released my breath. I took my third breath in, waiting for my thoughts to come racing in but it never did. I thankfully took a breath out and steadied myself, focusing on the sounds of the birds chirping outside. They faded into the ether, and so did the clanging of the pots and pans in the other room. All the sounds surrounding me fell into nothing.
My body, too, fell into nothing. It wasn't numbing, but a relaxed nothing, as if I had floated up into the skies. I continued feel the feeling as I felt my aches, and the searing pain in my hip, dissipate into nothing. I continued to breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth, several times. Not a thought entered my brain.
For a moment, I let my mind wander and my body float. In that moment, I took in Velaris as I saw it yesterday. Beautiful and bustling, full of life and love, and protected by the Prythians who took me to the mountain yesterday. The city was still here, and it wasn't going to fall. No one in this lifetime would let it fall.
Just as I floated up into the air, I floated down. I floated through the clouds and sky, through the roof of the cabin and back into my body as I regained the feeling in my body. With a contented sigh at the comforting silence, I opened my eyes to the orange rays now blistering through the window and blazing me with its warmth. I lowered my lashes slightly to take it all in, enjoying the momentary feeling of peace.
Until I remembered what I was wearing.
I slowly hoisted myself up onto my wobbling legs, marched to the door and swung it open. I was fully ready to bombard whoever was in the kitchen with an endless spew of swears and screams only to find Azriel placing a plate on the kitchen island. The burning returned to the depths of my stomach while I looked at him. He was dressed casually today, and not in his Illyrian leathers. He wore a loose blue cotton shirt, with the rolled-up sleeves slightly too tight for his bulky arms. I could see the beginnings of his leather trousers and the hilt of his dagger sticking out of its sheath. His hair fell in front of his face as he placed a knife and a fork on the island, while his shadows danced around him excitedly. His wings were comfortably tucked back, avoiding hitting any of the appliances in the kitchen.
I licked my suddenly dry lips while I stood there, feeling my nipples harden against the thin material. For fuck's sake, I groaned internally. This was getting ridiculous. I was about to turn around to avoid Azriel when he lifted his head up and looked at me through his hair. He ran his fingers through them, revealing his gorgeous hazel eyes that were now burning into mine.
My chest rose and fell heavily as the fire blazed within. Whatever the fuck this was, it needed to sort itself out. His eyes flicked down to my chest and, momentarily, I had forgotten that my shirt left little to the imagination. I cleared my throat angrily, tugging on the shirt to loosen it. Azriel's eyes glanced back up to mine, his head cocked to the side slightly with a smile.
"Did you change my clothes without asking me?" I demanded, stomping into the room, ignoring the fire burning within me. He huffed before turning around and heading to his cooling system. He grabbed a pitcher of orange juice from it, a cup from one of the cabinets and placed them next to the plate on the island. I stopped at the island, my hand resting on the back of the chair as I eyed him. "Do you not talk? Or do you just not talk to me?"
"Eat," was all he said before leaning on the counter behind him. I turned my attention to the plate on the island and my stomach growled loudly. It was filled to the rim with eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes, a couple of slices of toast and a small slice of chocolate cake. My mouth salivated while I pulled the chair out and plopped myself onto it. I leaned over and took a deep breath in, smelling every bit of the plate as much as possible.
I tore into the meal like it was my last breakfast on earth. It was my first proper meal in 400 years and it tasted good. My whole body was on sensory overload while I gobbled the meal up, my stomach aching at how fast I was going but I didn't care. I hadn't realised how hungry and how starved I was until that moment. I scrapped every bit of the breakfast off the plate before turning my attention to the cake. I cut a piece off using the fork and slid it into my mouth, moaning at the decadence.
My eyes looked up to find Azriel with an amused mile, his eyebrow raised at the fork hanging out of my mouth. "Don't judge me," I murmured through the fork before devouring the cake. I dropped the utensil onto the plate and tore off the pitcher lid, ignoring the glass Azriel had placed on the table and drank from it. Gods, I didn't know how much juice was in that pitcher but I just drank it all up.
Placing the pitcher on the table, I wiped my lips with the back of my hand and leaned back onto the chair, my stomach bulging. I smiled softly at Azriel, placing a hand on my stomach.
Azriel had been watching my every move.
"Are we going to the library?" I asked him. He nodded. "Could we stop by the Bank before we head to the library?"
Azriel raised an eyebrow at me. Gods this was going to be a tiring, long day.
"I deposited some things a while back, I want to pick them up." I cleared my throat and pushed the chair out, hopping down. "I...thank you for cooking this meal for me. I'm going to have a bath then we can go."
Azriel titled his head in acknowledgment. I turned on my heels and started making my way to my bedroom but it hit me. Was this Azriel's home? Why would he cook me a meal in someone else's home? I paused at the door, my hand on the handle. "Is this your..." I trailed off when I turned my head over my shoulder. Azriel had disappeared. I hadn't heard the door opposite mine open or close, nor had I heard any keys to unlock the door. The front door was firmly shut, and I hadn't felt a breeze like I did yesterday. "He's so creepy for no reason."
My first bath, in 400 years, was probably the closest I'd ever get to dying and moving onto the next life. I had soaked in the warm tub for around thirty minutes, feeling the aches in my body disappear instantly. With the face towel, I had lathered it with the strawberry scented soap and scrubbed every inch of my body to the point where my skin shone bright red. I took extra care with my back. While the wounds had healed, I always feared they'd tear open and I'd bleed out.
While I sat in the bath, I took the time to look at the bargain on my left arm for the first time in a long time. It was intricately designed with the black swirls creating the three mountain peaks that jutted out of black clouds. Above the tallest top, Ramiel, were the three Holy Stars. I traced Ramiel with my right forefinger fondly, remembering the night Vel snuck me onto the mountain despite the fact that the mountain ranges were off limits when the Rite wasn't on. I smiled softly before I heard several heavy knocks.
I would have happily spent the entire day here if it weren't for the fact that I had a trip to the library today.
Hopping out of the bath, I slung a bathrobe around me and unplugged the tub. I grabbed a spare towel from a hook and began drying my hair with it while walking over to the mirror. The mirror was lit up by lanterns surrounding it, casting a soft orange glow around me.
I took a long look at myself.
The sleep must have done me some good. I looked a bit better than I did yesterday, the dark circles under my eyes gone, and my face had puffed out a bit. In the grand scheme of things though, I was still skin and bones. I tilted my head, positioned my body left and right before sighing and dropping the bathrobe and towel onto the floor.
My breathing faltered. A body that I had flaunted and used for my pleasure had been replaced with protruding hip bones and ribcage. My breasts and stomach were near non-existent, my glowing necklace highlighting how withdrawn my body looked, and my skin was close to being translucent at how pale I was. I bit my lip as I turned around and nearly collapsed, looking at my back. While my shoulder blades were jutting out of my back, the scars on my back stood out prominently against the paleness. They were jagged, bright red and puffy. An unfinished piece of work.
The High Lord who took his dagger to my back started ripping my back up, scoring out my skin and flesh to find the gift Vel had given me all those years ago, didn't have the opportunity to finish it. He was damned close to completing it. I had explained to him that I didn't know how to bring the present forward, to replace my white wings with the black ones, and all he did was scoff and dig into my back. On multiple occasions, he had reached my rib cage so he began his mission elsewhere. One time he had taken so much out of my back that I heard a slab of flesh hit the floor with a thud.
It was one of the few times my Mother had to come in and save me. To this day, I still didn't know who the High Lord was, and if he were still alive, but I would recognise his voice from a mile away.
I picked up the two cotton items from the floor and made my way into the bedroom, closing the bathroom door behind me to stop myself from looking at my naked body. Throwing the towel and bathrobe onto the bed, I made my way to the wardrobe and found a whole new set of clothes. Instead of the long-sleeved jumpers, they were replaced with colourful and flower-patterned tops that ranged from corseted to low cut tops to more tank tops. My white dress still hung at the back, still freshly pressed. I briefly touched it before pursing my lips and picking a blue flower-patterned knot fronted top. Matching the shirt with a pair of black leggings, which I knew were a looser than intended, I walked over to the bedside table and pinned my sun pin to the right side of the shirt.
Leaving the bedroom, I saw Azriel leaning on the pane of the open door, letting the warm air into the relatively cool cabin. He was playing with his dagger and looked up at me when I clicked the door shut behind me. He had changed out of his casual clothing and back into his full Illyrian leathers. His seven siphons glowed gently, and the shadows began to slither towards me until they had faltered and slunk back to their owner. I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed. It wasn't the most welcoming atmosphere whenever Azriel looked at me with fire, and that annoying tug had not helped either. "'Hey, Jez, are you ready to go?'" I mimicked Azriel's voice to the best of my ability. "'Why, yes, I am ready to go and read about Prythian's History! It's what I look forward to every minute in Velaris, such a great welcoming.'"
Azriel huffed, giving me a once over and left, tucking the dagger back into its sheath. My jaw dropped at his audacity. I made my way to the door and yelled out behind him, "Am I going to be talking to myself the entire time you babysit me?"
Azriel turned around on the cobbled pathway with his hand outstretched as I closed the door behind me. "Why yes...yes you will," I said, answering my own question when I stepped into his personal space. Azriel slowly took a step towards me, his eyes barely leaving mine. He lowered himself and wrapped his hands around the back of my thighs, cautiously aware of the fact that his thumbs grazed the underside of my bum. A strand of his hair had fallen in front of his face, blocking his gorgeous eyes.
"I suppose I'll talk for the both of us while I'm here," I told him, ignoring the nagging feeling of wanting to brush his hair out of the way. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself into him while he lifted me up with ease, placing my legs on either side of his torso. "You know," I breathed, pulling my face back to look at him, "This is quite intimate for two people who barely know each other."
Azriel stared at me, his eyes still burning into mine. I smirked softly.
"If you wanted to have some fun, all you had to do is ask," I teased jokingly. Azriel's eyes hardened. If he didn't feel any type of way about me before, he definitely did now. There was a momentary pause before he flew straight up into the air abruptly. I squealed in shock and tightened my grip around his neck, and pressed the side of my face against his. Our hair fluttered around us, my long hair tangled amongst itself and his as we continued to fly upwards, the warm air now cool, and clouds surrounded us until I breathed, "oh my Gods, I'm sorry, I was joking. You've made your point!"
He chuckled into my ear, his breath dancing warmly against my neck causing the baby hairs at the nape to stand at attention. I gasped softly, pressing my body further into his with little resistance while he levelled out. A warmth spread from the depths of my stomach and I was marginally aware of how close we were at the point in time. Azriel didn't seem to mind, or care about the lack of distance between us; but I did.
I turned my head, craning my neck as we flew through a cloud into clear blue skies, with the sun still making its way up, and Velaris in full view. Content filled me as I looked at the city below that whizzed by. It was starting to wake as the boats in the Sidra floated lazily down the river, and the miniature dots starting to bustle towards the markets. For a moment, I forgot about my body's reaction to Azriel.
Wrapping my left tattooed arm fully around Azriel's shoulder, I extended my right, feeling the cool air run through my fingers while he manoeuvred to the left of the Sidra, towards a towering building in the centre. It reminded me of when I flew over the city of Velaris during and after Vel, with...that nameless and faceless Fae. I furrowed my brows unsure who followed me in my thoughts, and disappointed that taking back what was mine hadn't returned the missing memories.
Slowing his descent, Azriel landed in front of the towering marble and gold building. The bank sat atop a levelled mountain top. A beautifully cobbled pathway led to and around the bank with fountains and trees lining either side of it on the flat peak. The building itself had an introductory building that was made out of millennia old stone that stood the test of time, with pillars lining along the front, supporting the roof that jutted out. Behind this was the towering marble and gold structure that held the regular city's people's valuables. For the more esteemed, and generationally wealthy families of Velaris, their valuables rested in within the mountain. The gold ran between the spaces of the marble slabs, as if it were weeping gold from the top down, a stark difference from the rocky entrance.
The people of Velaris were bustling in and out of the bank, paying no mind to the winged Illyrian, or myself except for an elderly High Fae who had been staring at me from her seat on the Illyrian statue fountain. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Azriel either. Azriel took a step next to me, staring at the elderly lady, his wings jutting out slightly. "Is that really necessary? Why don't you be intimidating elsewhere?" I hissed at him.
He completely ignored me.
I scoffed, rolling my eyes at him until the elderly High Fae walked up to me. She looked familiar with her pinned up plated white hair, that stood out against her rich, brown skin. Her back was hunched over making her shorter than I was, and held a walking stick in her right hand to support her. Her eyes were a deep green colour, nearly reflecting the colour of the leaves. The elderly female paused in front of me, looking me up and down before her eyes rested on the pin and bowed deeply.
"It has been a long time, Jez," the elderly female said with a smile. I smiled meekly, still not entirely sure who she was until she finished with, "May the ever-living Gods smile upon you."
"And may the stars and legends of the world beyond gift you, Vera," I replied, my smile deepening. I leaned down slightly and embraced her deeply. A warmth ran through my body as Vera returned the hug immediately. I felt my eyes prickle. "It's been far too long."
"Indeed, it has my child," Vera whispered, pulling away and taking hold of my bare arms. She clucked her tongue as she took me in. "You've lost a lot of weight."
"A lot has happened-"
"No excuses, child," she snapped before looking up at Azriel. Vera sized him up and for a brief second, she faltered. Her eyes widened as she took him in, then me, then back to him. I raised an eyebrow at her before she tightened her grip on the stick, and looked as though she contemplated hitting him with it.
"It's not his fault," I told Vera, unsure what triggered her hesitation. She narrowed her eyes at Azriel who seemed to have slunk back slightly, afraid of the elderly woman's onslaught. A laugh escaped my lips, one that Azriel shot me a glare at. "Something tried to get me, and nearly did, but I fell out of the sky and Azriel found me. He's not at fault here for the way I look."
Vera frowned before looking back at me. "You don't just fall out of the sky."
"I mean, I kind of did," I said with a shrug before winking, "I should've fallen into your arms instead of his." Suddenly, Vera let go of my arms and started whacking me with her walking stick. I yelped and ran behind Azriel, gripping the back of his lower arms and using his body as a shield. Vera tried to manoeuvre her way around Azriel but his wings, which had now sprayed widely, and body proved to be a bit too bulky. For an old female, she sure was spry for her age.
"What happened to you?" quipped Vera angrily as she backed up from Azriel before quietly saying, "I didn't see you. You don't just fall out of the sky." I let go of Azriel's left arm to duck under his right wing and nestled my face in the crook of his right arm. Without thinking, I placed my left hand on the back of his right wing, feeling the softness of it, and absentmindedly started to lightly draw on it like I had with Vel. Azriel shivered softly, enough for only me to notice. I cleared my throat and quickly dropped my left hand to his lower back.
"Could you really not see me?" I replied with a question. Vera's eyes widened in a fury and nearly launched herself at us when a male's voice interrupted her.
"Nana, you have to stop terrorising people," a rustic male voice called out. I moved Azriel slightly to look at the blonde male walking over to us from the bank with a wide smile. He was a tall male and well built, not as muscular as Azriel or Cassian but enough to see that he practiced his fighting. His eyes were a piercing green colour, much like Vera's, that stood out against his russet, reddish-brown skin. His gaze shifted from Vera to Azriel then to mine, his lips forming a large 'O'.
"Oh, fuck me, it's Chance," I muttered. I looked up to find Azriel staring down at me curiously. "Fuck."
"Jez?" Chance asked as he stood by Vera. I gave him a sheepish green before stepping around Azriel and hugging him.
"Sif," I laughed awkwardly. Chance gave me a lazy smile. "I was just telling your nana that it has been a long time."
Chance cocked his head to the side as he took my body in and I cleared my throat, knowing that the Jez in front of him was completely different to the one he had last seen many moons ago. He raised his eyebrows at me, as if asking what happened and I pursed my lips and shrugged. He nodded, knowing now wasn't the right time or place to discuss it before patting me on the shoulder. "If you ever need a place to stay in Velaris, or if you just want to talk or have dinner, our doors are open to you. You will always be welcomed in our home."
"I...I already have a place to stay I think," I laughed nervously, unsure what my sleeping arrangements technically were. Chance furrowed his brows, unhappy with my answer. "But, I would love to have dinner at some point," I quickly added in. "It'll be nice to be with people I know."
Chance smiled warmly at me before darting his eyes up to the male behind me. I stepped aside and watched him bow deeply, his gaze never leaving Azriel's. "My Lord," he murmured. Azriel stiffened and cleared his throat, dismissing him. Chance straightened and placed a hand on Vera's lower back, guiding her away from the two of us. She kept on looking back, her eyes widening as she shifted her gaze between myself and Azriel until I felt a hand fall on my shoulder. I let Azriel guide me towards the bank, my thoughts running.
While Azriel and I walked in silence to the bank entrance, I could feel him behind me bubbling with unanswered interrogations. "A question for a question," I said to Azriel as we slipped through the double doors that was being held open by a short Fae with bright red hair and gorgeous purple eyes. He looked me up and down, his eyes widening at me and his jaw slacking. I raised an eyebrow at him, unsure why the Fae was looking at me like that, until I realised Azriel was a solid 20 steps ahead of me.
I picked up my pace to walk alongside Azriel. High Fae and Fae alike were bustling around us, either to leave the bank or to reach the end of the corridor faster than us.
"How do you know Vera?" Azriel asked after a moment's silence, his voice seemingly cutting through the murmurings and steps. A few female Fae looked at Azriel, blushing at him. I instantly felt a stone drop in my stomach and I wasn't entirely sure why I had felt it. Gods, whatever my body was feeling about Azriel wasn't catching up to how I felt or thought about the stupid, voiceless Illyrian. We had barely said thirty words to each other and I don't think he's ever called me by my name in the last twenty-four hours.
I must have pulled an unpleasant face at the feeling and my thoughts as the women who were gazing at him with awe instantly averted their eyes and hurried their steps. Shaking my head, I turned my attention to Azriel who had been looking at me inquisitively.
"I've known her a long time. I knew her as a travelling Mystic who believed in a world beyond that of Prythian and the continents beyond. She always spoke to the Mother, the other Deities and the Unknowns when she was younger, her third-eye was one of a kind. That greeting she began with comes from the days of Mother when she interacted with the people and Fae of Prythian a long time ago. Vera gave up a part of her powers to have a family and children, she didn't want it being passed on. She's powerful, and the sort of clairvoyance she had doesn't go away that easily. Especially after talking to her, she still sees but something had blocked me from her visions."
I had blocked her from seeing me.
"Did she see something just then?" Azriel probed. As much as I wanted to answer him, I didn't have it at that stage. I had also seen her falter for a brief second, and the way she looked at Azriel had concerned me slightly. Instead, I tutted at him, and wagged my finger.
"Ah, ah, ah – a question for a question," I cooed at him. Azriel huffed before inclining his head at me. "Do you only know ten words or do you just not talk when I'm around?"
"Yes," Azriel smirked.
I pulled a face at him and stopped walking down the corridor while he continued to trudge towards the main hall. "Which one are you saying yes to?" I yelled at Azriel who had now stopped at the mouth of the room. I could see the groups of High Fae queuing up to several high-rising desks. Azriel's shoulders shook as he laughed in silence, his eyes twinkling at me with amusement while his shadows swirled excitedly. I paused for a moment and felt that burning come back to the forefront of my attention.
He looked so different when he didn't have the weight of being whatever he was in Rhysand's court, or even carrying the burden of his silent past. There was a part of me that wanted to know who did burn Azriel's hands, just so my sisters and I could give retribution on behalf of the Illyrian who had saved me. I wanted to know more about him and what made him tick, and I wanted to know more about his friends as well, but I shouldn't. I shouldn't become attached because I had to get home.
"Okay, since you're being an asshole," I said as I walked up to Azriel and stopped right in front of him. "I get to ask you another question and this time you have to answer." Azriel's eyes were still gleaming with humour as he thought. He nodded in confirmation after a moment. "Who did that to your hands?"
The humour instantly vanished, and the cold-shell of Azriel came to the forefront. He cleared his throat before he said, "Ask me something else."
Oh shit, I had definitely overstepped.
I nodded, and instantly regretted changing the mood in the room. I briefly glanced out the corner of my eye and saw a group of nearby High Fae stumbling over their feet, peering over at the two of us in disdain. "What do they call you here?"
"Shadowsinger," Azriel replied coolly.
I laughed and leaned my left shoulder against the wall of the corridor. I had always wondered how Mother worked and what drove her, and there were times where I had cracked it, but the fate of meeting people in a lifetime was possibly one that I could never comprehend. It was as if the invisible forces of a world beyond life knew what a practical joke was, and how to throw you head first into a situation you'd never expected.
"I'm going to call you that," I mused. Azriel's eyes were gleaming again, but very softly. I probably would have missed it if it weren't for the fact he had my whole attention at this moment in time.
"And what do they call you?" Azriel asked.
I tilted my head at him and pondered on whether it was worth telling him. Hundreds of Fae must have passed by us by now, and none of them had paused or done a double take at me. They had for Azriel, but never for me. The only ones who had noticed me had been Vera, Chance and that Fae at the door earlier. It sealed what Amren had said, that the world had moved on and my stories had burned along with it.
And also, I'd have the leverage after losing yesterday.
I moved off of the wall and stood directly in front of Azriel.
"Lightbringer," I told him. His eyes widened as he seemingly came to the realisation I had come to. I patted his upper arm and winked at him. "Just so you know, I now have a question on you."
I manoeuvred around Azriel and took the main room in. White marble was slabbed everywhere, a clear upgrade from the corridor I was just in. It lined the tall walls of the rectangular room and where the slabs met, a gold filling ran in between. Massive windows lined the walls facing the city, letting in as much light as possible. When darkness fell, the lanterns above the windows, and along the walls and desks, would light up an eerie orange glow, aging the room. On either side of the walls were towering elegant, shiny wooden desks, and a glass barrier with orc creatures sat behind them. On the desks itself were pens, mounds of paper, several books, a few stamps and one item that differentiated each creature from one another. Most of the desks had queues of High Fae, all either yelling at the orcs through the glass to be heard, or looking either heated or elated at what they had just been told. In the centre of the room was a boxed in tunnel with a towering glass door that ran up through the roof of the room, and down towards the centre of the mountain.
Peering around the pillar in the centre, I saw the desk I was looking for. I made a bee-line for it, dancing around the crowd; and I could feel Azriel doing the same thing, following each of my steps. Not a single soul paid any attention to me, but they did with the towering Illyrian whose wings may have clipped a few of the High Fae in his effort to keep up with me. Eventually I reached the towering desk with no glass barrier and a towering orc peering down at some paperwork.
I cleared my throat. "Hey Dom, it's been a long time," I called. Dom slowly looked away from his work to me, a massive smile forming on his lips. Dom had velvet green coloured skin, and long bottom canines that curved over his top lip when his lips were pursed. His brunette hair had grown much longer since the last time I saw him; it was now near elbow length but pinned back with a bubble, his long, pointed ears jutting in between strands of hair. His golden eyes were gleaming excitedly as he looked at me, his chin now resting on his right palm. I could see the countless rings on his fingers, and the start to his tattoos, that were now covered by a white button-up shirt.
"Jezzie," he cooed, his fingers tapping his chin. "It's been a very long time. I see the ever-living Gods were not smiling upon you when you came back to Velaris."
I pouted at him. "Am I still not the prettiest sister?"
Dom clucked his tongue. "I haven't seen you or your whore sisters in nearly 400 years." Azriel scoffed loudly behind me. I sent him a warning glare, not needing his two pence thrown into the mix. "Did you bring me a snack? I didn't think he swung my way."
I looked over my shoulder at Azriel whose cheeks had flushed slightly, but his gaze was fully on me. "Do you think he looks like a snack, Dom? He looks like he's been left out for a little too long, personally."
Azriel narrowed his eyes at my jab. I smiled innocently at him.
"What I would give for that male to choke me. You know, I never would have thought you'd pass up on a male to grab you by the hips and fuck the daylight out of you." Dom drawled loudly. Angrily, I swung my head towards Dom who was smirking. "Do we now have off limit males in Prythian? I suppose it's for the best, I've heard rumours that you've been fucking two females at the same time and it's been messy. Have you been able to mate with one of them yet?"
I felt like I was playing a sport with my head now as I looked over my shoulder to find Azriel glaring angrily at Dom, his hand on the hilt of his dagger. I felt a tinge of jealousy run through my body and quickly killed the feeling as fast as it took me over. I'd barely known the male for a day and now I'm jealous over two faceless Fae? Ridiculous.
Dom tsked loudly. "You know you can't lay a finger on one of us in here, Shadow-man."
"Dom, that's enough," I warned, bouncing my head back to the orc in front of me. He looked bored, and slightly disappointed that I hadn't joined in. While it was fun to listen in on Azriel's terrible love life, I wasn't here to gossip about him. "Now's not the time or the place. I need to grab a few things from my vault."
"Do you want Mr. Snack coming with us?"
"I don't have a choice," I sighed. Dom nodded and stood up, towering over both Azriel and I. He finessed his way around his desk, making a beeline to the cube in the middle of the room. I followed behind, Azriel keeping step with me. "And stop calling him a snack, it's weird."
The glass door opened and Dom stepped inside, moving to the back to allow Azriel and I in. Azriel had tucked his wings in to make sure there was enough space between all of us before Dom pressed a button to his right. The doors closed and the glass cubicle started moving downwards into the mountain. The room vanished from view, and we were suddenly seeing dirt and rock around us, lanterns on the roof of the glass cube giving us the much-needed visibility.
"How far down is the vault?" Azriel asked Dom.
"Mine is at the very bottom, I share it with my sisters," I answered. I gave Azriel a soft smile, knowing that he didn't ask me for a reason.
"That doesn't count," Azriel said coolly.
"Whatever you say, Shadowsinger." I briefly raised a peace sign with my fingers, mouthing the number two.
"Vel gifted Jez and his sisters the vault at the bottom," Dom added. "We don't accept any more requests for the people in Velaris to have one of these, unless the High Lord puts one in. I believe you have one in the main building, so if you'd like to have one of these let your High Lord submit a request."
"I'm not particularly interested," Azriel voiced, as if he was disgusted by the idea of having one.
A silence fell upon us for the rest of the descent until the glass box suddenly stopped. I spread my feet apart in anticipation for the stop, however Azriel hadn't realised in time how abrupt it was. One moment Azriel was stood to my left, the next his body was thrown against mine, and pinned me between him and the glass door. Under normal circumstances, and if I had a thing for Azriel, this would have been the dream. Today, however, I couldn't breathe, and the suffocating heat erupting in my body wasn't helping matters.
"Get...your...fat arse...off of me," I gasped, hitting Azriel as hard as could. Azriel quickly backed up, his wings flaring and hitting the glass walls and Dom. I took a deep breathe in, leaning against the glass wall and waved my left, tattooed arm. The glass pane disappeared behind Azriel, the rock lifted to reveal another room.
Azriel's eyes widened.
"This isn't my magic, it's the vault's. It answers to those whose blood has been spilt," I told him.
"Do you want me to wipe his memory of seeing your vault?" Dom asked abruptly.
I considered it, I genuinely did. I thought about Rhysand and how he was a Daemati. I wondered what the repercussions would be if we wiped his memory and if Rhysand could see black spots in one's thoughts, where a thought had been wiped. While my family's vault was exquisite and old, we weren't going to venture deep into it. We were here to grab my book and leave. Having Rhysand potentially question my motives, and wonder what was so special in my family's vault that needed erasing wasn't at the top of my list of priorities.
There were artefacts, tomes, and guarded secrets by magic that were kept down here. If I could make them think my family was just an old, wealthy Prythian family, that was good enough for me until I could leave.
"No," I told Dom. Dom raised his brows at me and I waved him off. He had good intentions, and he had always kept what I had down here a secret from everyone. I gave him a thankful smile, forever grateful for his service to my family. Dom nodded, extending his arm out.
"I would normally say females first, but you're far from one," Dom winked. I coughed out a laugh, hitting Dom's muscular green arm and left the glass cube.
The room we entered was only the entrance to the vault. It was vast and exquisite, a reminder of the days that have passed many eons ago. The floor was made up of incremental emerald green marble squares, with a white pathway down the middle and in-between the squares which led to a domed area that had eight white statues of winged females placed around in a circle. Ever burning chandeliers hung from the towering, smoothed out stone ceilings, casting a beautiful glow in the room, highlighting the beauty of the room.
The walls were white and had thick columns running incrementally alongside it. On the walls, in between each pillar, were magnificently painted artworks that detailed major life moments in mine and my sister's lives. From first battles, to last kisses, it was intimate and ours only. It was nothing like the throne room back home. It wasn't like Mother's study or her gallery. It was us.
We started making our way to the eight winged female statues and I could see Azriel was surveying each part of the room with a mixture of wonder and surveillance, I assumed. While his eyes darted from one part of the room to another, they lingered on the beauty that was in front of him until his eyes stopped on a painting in the middle of the pathway leading to the domed room at the end. I stopped dead at it to find it was a painting of Vel and I.
It depicted a raw moment between the two of us. The first and last time we ever laid in bed together, his black silk sheets covering our bodies as we were an intertwined mess of bodies in the dead of the night, asleep. My head rested on his bare chest, his arms holding me tightly. Vel's black hair was stuck to his forehead, while mine cascaded over his body and onto the bed in messy ripples.
"If I had my magic," I began when Azriel had also stopped in front of it. Dom continued his way down to the statues, having already seen these paintings many times before. "They come alive." I tried to coax my magic away but it continued to sleep peacefully within me, not bothered that I was looking at my most intimate moment in life. "You'd see us breathing, the wind moving the sheets, just everything comes alive. It's like a snapshot into a moment of my life."
"That's Vel," Azriel said, completely ignoring the fact that these paintings would come alive. It wasn't a question but I nodded. "What happened?"
I took a deep breath in, knowing he wasn't asking about how Vel died. "I wasn't his mate." I paused for a brief moment, contemplating if telling Azriel the full story was worth it, and whether he would tell Rhysand everything. "'When light became dark, and the day's end meets the day's beginning, was where we would meet. While these are fated meetings, and so were ours, we were on borrowed time and one that I'd turn back and relive if given the chance.' That was the last thing he told me that night, before asking me if he should go through with the ceremony."
"Did you say no?"
"No."
"Why didn't you fight for it?"
"I didn't want to," I told Azriel, turning away from the painting to find him looking into my eyes with fire. I bit my lower lip as the heat and tug returned in full force. "I reject the idea of mates, I think that if you love someone it should be good enough. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that."
"Did you love him?"
"Yes."
"But not enough to fight for him?"
I forced out a laugh.
"It's not that I didn't love him enough to fight for him. There were expectations from the both of us that didn't include each other. I let him go because it was the right thing to do." I paused, tracing the bargain on my left arm absentmindedly. "I'm not sure what Dom was talking about earlier, and nor do I want to be in the middle of it, but just so you know, Shadowsinger, if it feels right, do it. If you love them you tell them, even if they aren't your mate. We live long lives, and I only told Vel I loved him when he was dying. That is one of my biggest regrets to this day."
"Was it really your biggest regret?"
"I said one of," I tsked at him. I took a step towards him and tilted my head up to look at him. "Would never telling the person you love be your biggest regret?"
Azriel peered down at me with hooded eyes. He didn't say anything, and looked as if he was pondering on the question. Azriel was an interesting character, and the type of male I had never met before. Behind his silence was a curious male who just needed to step out of his shell. Perhaps he was like that when I was around, when he wasn't babysitting or doing Shadowsinger work. Perhaps he went into the city and drank and danced 'til the early hours of the morning with his friends. Perhaps his laugh would shake the city awake. Perhaps he was far more curious about the world around him, than the handful of questions he sent my way.
That was when it hit me that Azriel had asked question after question in the last few minutes. I smiled at him and stepped onto my toes, my lips parted. His shadows tickled around my shoulders, excited by the presence of another person in his personal space – like he normally wouldn't allow someone to casually be in it. I breathed softly onto his bare skin, and he shivered softly. "But just so you know, Shadowsinger, that's six questions I get to ask you," I breathed and hopped away, turning around to avoid Azriel's death glare.
"That doesn't count," Azriel called after me. I could hear his usually quiet footsteps behind me, trudging along in annoyance.
"Oh, but it does, Shadowsinger," I sang, nearly skipping towards the eight statues, stopping besides Dom who was casually leaning against the last pillar.
The eight statues formed a ring in the centre of the domed room, each representing the eight daughters of Mother, with each statue showcasing the six massive wings. While we normally donned two wings, the six came out during official business and war. We were the same height, all colour devoid, dressed up in our war garments, and holding our lost-to-time signature pieces. The statue directly in front of me was Sif, the oldest sister. The white marble had been carved to show her long-flowing hair in the wind, and her signature crown resting upon it. Anti-clockwise, the next statue was Oriana who was holding her harp against her chest, the marble fingers pretending to pluck at the last string. Elspeth followed, her teeth were bared and her arm raised, her signature sword in hand. Celeste was next, she stood elegantly on her podium, her chest seemingly double covered due to the heavy breast plate on her.
Gods only knew how she carried it around for so long.
After Celeste was Mabel who had her arms crossed in front of her face, highlighting the wrist gauntlets that snaked up her arm. Etta was next, but instead of holding her sword in anticipation for an attack, she held it in front of her, the tip of the sword barely touching the podium. Her eyes were closed, as if she could feel the power emanating in her marble form. I was after, my face covered by a mask and a long, curved sword in my right hand. Last but not least was Niamh, who wore a necklace with a massive orb hanging from it. I vaguely remember it being so heavy that Niamh had to support the weight because she kept on doubling over.
Azriel took his spot next to me, his eyes widening at my sisters and I. He flared his wings out, checking out the size of his in comparison to Sif's who had hers out and proud, much like mine were. I giggled softly, patting Azriel on his arm. "They're just statues."
"Who are they?" Azriel asked, taking a step towards Sif and then began to circle around. I watched as he inspected the little details in each of the statues. His jaw continued to drop as he reached out and touched the individually carved feathers on Els' lower wings. His eyes cast over our signature pieces, narrowing at the crown and the harp. "Who are they?" he repeated, stopping in front of my statue and staring up at the masked face.
I couldn't tell him the answer to that, and I gave Dom a look to let him know he couldn't say a thing either. Dom smiled lazily at me before giving me a thumbs up. The statues in front of us were what I considered us to be at our worst. I had only bared my six wings three times in my lifetime because I despised them. I hated how big and intimidating they were. They weren't useful, they were there for battles and killings, and to remind our enemies who they were fighting. I thought they were the ugliest parts of my body, which was why I, and even my sisters, kept our wings to the standard two.
"They're stories from before your time," I replied, stepping towards my statue and planting my feet next to Azriel. "The females you see in front of you had been said to be Prythian's strongest warriors, gifted from the Mother and the nameless Deities to keep order in a tumultuous world."
"I've never heard of them before," Azriel stated. "Have you met them?"
"No," I lied. "Like I said, they're stories. They're what my mother would talk about before she'd put me sleep. Their conquests, their battles, their wins, as well as their failures. But their story in Prythian seems to have died over time, but only the elderly ones will remember them."
"Like Vera?"
"Like Vera." I paused. "In the stories, when you were in distress or needed genuine help, all you had to do was call upon the Mother to answer your prayers. Obviously, this was when the Prythian population was smaller, but the Mother wouldn't come down herself personally. She'd send one of her eight daughters to do her bidding."
"They fought," Azriel stated, nodding at my statues armour. "And wore troves."
"She," I said, patting my statue's podium, "was Mother's Commander. All eight of her daughters would go into battle but she would be the one to lead, and they never lost a war. One that's been lost to time was the last Deity War. She went in swords blazing in Mother's name and dragged the High Lords from each of the Courts, along with their armies, to fight Mother's Deity family. The Deities had a genuine dislike for Mother's love for Prythian, and hated how her daughters mingled with them. From what I remember, many died during that war. Including her lover. They won but she had lost everything that day."
"What about the troves?"
"Hmmm?" I asked, unsure what a trove was. Azriel tilted his head at the mask. "Oh, is that what they're called now? I suppose so. They were lost in time. In the stories, all eight sisters gave up their 'troves' and hid them in Prythian. They brought a lot of death and destruction. Unfortunately, they've been used in the lands since they were given up, from what I heard."
With that I waved my left arm in front of my statue and the empty space between its feet opened up to reveal a sizable, grey trinket box. The design of the lid replicated the bargain on my left arm, with six wings jutting out the side of it as a form of handles. I lifted the lid to reveal a red tattered diary, and four tomes of books. I lifted them out of the box, and grunted at the weight of the five books. I closed the lid and waved my arm again, the podium closing up once again.
I tuned to Azriel, my hands full and said, "those are just stories, though."
"So, why do you have them as statues down here?"
"My family's old, they still believe in this mumbo jumbo," I shrugged, surprised at how easily the lie slipped through my teeth. I turned to Dom and tapped the four tomes of books. "Do me a favour, could you send these to where I'm staying at the moment?"
"Where might that be?"
"Uh...there's a cabin in the woods just outside of the city," I replied. Dom looked at Azriel with a raised brow, he had nodded in return. With a snap of his fingers, the four tomes of books disappeared from my grasp and the removal of the weight had me slapping my diary into my chest. I winced at the pain spreading across my chest.
Dom began his way back to the glass cube, and so had Azriel until I grabbed his arm. He turned around to face me, his shadows snaking down his arm to touch me. I didn't react to the coolness of its touch. "I...I would appreciate if you didn't tell Rhysand what you saw down here. This is...this is not just mine but my entire family's vault. I won't ask anything else of you, and I know you don't owe me anything, but this is beyond me," I quietly begged him. Azriel's eyes bored into mine as his shadow continued to creep up my arm, wrapping itself softly around my forearm.
A silence fell upon us. I bit my bottom lip, knowing my request was useless. I dropped my hand from his arm with a soft sigh, his shadows seemingly begrudging the disconnect as they snaked back to their owner until Azriel gripped my small hand in his abruptly. I blinked at the touch, not shying away from the callouses he had formed in his years of training, or the healed scars from his burnt hand. My breathing had shallowed, and I watched as his shadow slowly moved its way around our hands. "Six questions."
I furrowed my brows, until I realised that Azriel had been counting the questions he had asked while we were down here. I smiled softly at him. "Six questions."