She hadn't been sleeping properly for a few days already. Ever since she confirmed her suspicions. To worsen things up, she had yet had the courage to talk to him. As he slept peacefully by her side with his blond hair scattered over his face and his pillow, Brenda was staring at the ceiling thinking of a way to talk to him. Things on tour were so crazy she didn't seem to find the right time besides the courage to do it. The sun was shining outside and the rays of light were piercing under the blinds. The clock read 9 am and they had gone to bed around 3 am. Jerry was loaded in alcohol, but she was sober for she hadn't had the courage to drink after the big news. Mornings had been hell for she had been sick almost every day for some time. That was what led her to do the test, though she knew her period was late. Brenda felt so trapped and helpless at the same time, that she covered her face with both hands, mentally asking for help on how to bring the subject up with Jerry who she was sure didn't want a baby in his life. He was living his wild days. He was living his dream. As these thoughts travelled inside her mind, her stomach churned just like in every other morning and Brenda knew she had to go.
Slowly, she turned on her side and pulled the covers away. As the churn became more intense, she didn't put her slippers on, she just tiptoed until the bathroom's door and turned the light on. Next, she closed the door gently and turned around to face the toilet. Immediately, she pulled the seat up and fell on her knees. The first vomit came right after and though she didn't have anything in her stomach, the vomits came one after another as if she was throwing up her insides. The nausea was excruciating and she wondered if Ellie had been the same. It had been so intense that she didn't feel him near her. Only when she began to stabilize her breathing, with her head still stuck in the toilet, she felt his presence inside the bathroom. The vomits have been loud enough to stir his sleep and she winced.
"Are you ok?" Jerry asked quietly and still with a sleepy voice.
Brenda just nodded for she was still trying to catch her breath. She raised an arm and flushed the toiled and then pulled back, sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs.
"Are you sure?" Jerry asked crouching behind her and she felt his hand brushing her tangled hair and Brenda felt tears invading her eyes. "You don't seem so fine..." He added.
"Yes." She replied, hoping her voice wouldn't shake for she was sustaining her crying.
Jerry ended up sitting on the bathroom's floor just like her with his back resting against the basin's armoire. He also wrapped his arms around his knees and he stared at her for a few seconds. Though he didn't say anything, Brenda could feel him staring at her and she didn't know what to say nor did she have the bravery to face him.
"Ok..." He breathed a while later. "I think I need to make things easier for you..." He said and that sentence made her turn her face to look at him though she still didn't say anything. Their eyes met for a few seconds and something in his blue eyes let her know he was paying attention to his surroundings and her heart sunk down. "Don't you have anything to tell me, B.?" He then asked. "I mean... I think you do..." Brenda was sure he knew about it and worse than that, she had been hiding it from him for days already.
"I am so sorry..." She said instead with tears in her eyes. "I am so sorry, Jer..."
"That's not exactly what I am expecting you to tell me." He told her, feeling his head pounding from all the alcohol he consumed the previous night.
"Jer..." Brenda cried.
"I am just waiting for you to say it." He insisted. "Come on... is it that hard?" Jerry looked in her eyes and he could see how it was costing her to have that conversation and that broke his heart.
"Yes!" She nodded.
"You're pregnant." He said. "See... I said it..."
"How do you even know?" She asked him.
"I pay attention to you." Jerry blurted. "You have been throwing up for quite some time every morning, but you think I am sleeping and I don't hear you. A few days back, you stopped drinking alcohol and smoking and you avoid places where there is too much smoke which pretty much is our lounge area backstage. You leave early..."
"I wasn't trying to hide it from you, Jer..." Brenda told him, fearing he'd take it the wrong way. "I was just trying to find a way to tell you."
"Fuck... is it that hard to come up to me and say it?" He asked her. "I mean... we are together, B."
"But this was never part of our plans!" She exclaimed. "I am scared shitless!"
"So am I!" He raised his tone there. "But I have the right to know." Then, he frowned. "And it's not even just that... you don't have to go through this alone, B."
"I am sorry I didn't tell you right away." Brenda cupped his face with her hands, piercing his eyes with hers. "But I am really scared and lost..."
"I thought we were doing everything the right away." Jerry commented. "I guess I was wrong and so were you."
"Jer... we have been drinking too much every night. Partying hard... I forgot the pill, remember?" He nodded.
"We wore a condom." He stated. "That ripped apart..." He added in the end.
"And that might have been it." Brenda told him. "Or the other times until it was safe again. I don't know..." She shrugged and shook her head at the same time.
"But I didn't finish inside you." He claimed.
"It's not safe to do so and we both know it." Brenda argued and he nodded.
"I know..." He whispered. "We played with fire."
"We did." Brenda agreed. "Jer, I need to go back to Seattle." She told him. "I need to see my doctor... she knows me... it's the safest thing to do..."
"You're going away?" He asked her and frowned. "I don't want you to go! Is that what you think?"
"No." She rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "No... I don't think that but I need to be checked by my doctor and I think we both need to think about this."
"B..." He grabbed her face with his two hands and pulled her away to look in her eyes. "I want you with me. This doesn't change anything."
"You want this baby?" Brenda stuttered a bit in between words. Jerry shrugged.
"It's here..." He whispered. "You don't want it?" He asked her.
"I am so confused at the moment..." She replied. "My first instinct was to do what's best for the baby... that is why I stopped drinking and stuff but by doing that it confused me even more. We never talked about having a baby. Never, Jer... never even about having kids at all."
"But we made one." He ended up smiling softly and Brenda smiled back.
"It makes you smile?" She asked him, feeling her heart beating so much faster. "Babe... there were drugs and alcohol involved in the conception of this baby." She reminded him. "I fear that..."
"Not heavy drugs." Jerry argued. "Babe, none of us consumed heavy drugs."
"You want to have this baby, Jerry?" Brenda asked him directly and looking in his eyes.
"Why not?" He shrugged. "If everything is fine that is... you don't? You're not ready? I understand. B... whatever you decide I am with you. I love you and this doesn't change anything."
"Jesus..." She gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you so much." She cried.
"I promised you this time it would be different." He whispered into her ear. "There's no women... there's no drugs... there's us, B... only us... the three of us..." This last sentence broke her apart. "...or the two of us..."
"When Ellie got pregnant..." Brenda pulled away to look in his eyes. "... she also got really scared because she and Chris were separated and she didn't know what to do." He nodded letting her know he was following her. "I didn't understand when a few days after she said she felt the need to protect the baby she had growing inside her and how quickly she was saying she was in love with something so small it could barely be seen on a screen..."
"And now you do?" He asked because he thought that's what she was trying to tell him. Brenda nodded, biting her lower lip.
"I want to have this baby." She whispered.
"I think Heaven needs someone her age to play with." Jerry replied and Brenda giggled, cleaning her eyes at the same time. "God damn..." He breathed right after.
"You can say it." She nodded. "Life played a major trick on us."
"I am scared." Jerry confessed. "I am not going to pretend that I am not. I am shitting my pants..."
"You're not wearing any..." Brenda laughed and he did too.
"What a bumpy ride, ugh?" He asked and she nodded. Brenda bent over him and pressed her lips on his forehead.
"Go back to sleep." She told him. "I am going for a shower."
"Does Ellie know?" He asked, getting up and pulling her up with him.
"Yes." Brenda didn't lie. "She has been giving me hell because I didn't tell you right away."
"Let me shower first then." He winked. "And you call her and let her know that we talked. Knowing her, she must be reminiscing on it the entire time."
"She has Heaven to occupy her time." Brenda laughed. "They haven't been able to sleep properly. She is giving them hell."
"Wow..." Jerry rolled his eyes. "And we made a similar specimen." Brenda ended up cracking a laughter.
"Heaven commands their life..." Brenda said. "... their sleeping schedules... their eating schedules... "
"Can't wait..." He said pulling his boxers down his legs and stepping out of it. "Do you want to join me?" He offered as he stepped inside the shower.
"I'm gonna call her." Brenda said. "Do you mind?"
"Go ahead." Jerry said, shaking his head at the same time.
"Are you sure about this, Jer?" Brenda still asked when she got to the bathroom's door. Jerry was opening the water.
"Only because it's with you." Jerry told her. "I wouldn't do this with anyone else."
"Me neither." Brenda smiled, and then she left closing the door behind her. Next, she sat on the bed and grabbed the phone, dialing Ellie's number
In Seattle it was raining. That spring drizzle that every Seattleite is used to, especially if you live in the middle of the forest as they did. It wasn't strong enough to tap on the window, but the glass had drops of water running down and there was a white blanket over the lake giving it a scenario worth of any horror movie but still a mesmerizing view. There were no other sounds of nature but the drops that fell from the tress on the ground, everything else seemed to be put on pause. Chris was having his therapy session downstairs and Ellie was still in bed with Heaven by her side for she didn't want to sleep after sucking her bottle and she was sulking.
"Baby girl..." Ellie whispered, with her hand resting on Heaven's belly and rocking her gently, but Heaven had her big blue eyes opened. "You gave mom and dad such a horrible night. We are both so tired, how come you don't want to sleep?" She smiled and then approached her nose to her daughter's face and inhaled her baby scent. "You smell so good... daddy takes really good care of you." Chris had been the one dressing her that morning and he never failed to put some baby cologne on her.
Ellie pulled away and just watched Heaven staring at nothing and doing her little baby sounds as she breathed. Every day, she looked more and more like Chris. The lips were definitely his and so were the eyes, so vivid, so alive. She had Ellie's nose though. While she scrutinized every little detail of the biggest love she could feel, her phone rang. Ellie turned on her back and reached for it and then took it to her ear.
"Hello." She said, picking up the call.
"Ellie..." Brenda said on the other end.
"Shuu..." Brenda heard Ellie hushing while a baby cry was heard.
"Is she on a bad day?" Brenda smiled, sitting with her back against the headboard of the bed.
"I don't think she has had a good day yet..." Ellie cracked a laughter. "Chris and I are almost dying and she is still not sleeping..." Then, she smiled looking at her daughter. "But Chris put her on a lovely pink dress and a pink ribbon on her head and she looks so cute."
"He is so cute with her!" Brenda giggled.
"He's amazing. Chris is such a great father, I don't think he fully understands it, but he is." Ellie told her. "What about you?" She then asked. "Have you talked to Jerry?"
"Yes." Brenda breathed. "That is why I am calling you..." She rolled the cable of the phone around her finger. "We talked about it..."
"And? Is he alive?" Ellie asked, making Brenda crack a loud laughter.
"He survived." Brenda joked too. "Actually, he was waiting for me to tell him."
"Oh!" Ellie exclaimed. "He figured it out by himself?"
"I have been throwing up every morning..." Brenda explained and Ellie nodded recalling her first trimester.
"I don't miss that part." She told her friend. "But you know there are medicines your doctor can prescribe you to cope with the nausea. That was my life saver."
"Anyway..." Brenda took a deep breath and Ellie sustained hers waiting for what she was going to say next. "... we decided to keep it..."
"Oh my God, B!" Ellie exclaimed excited. "Are you sure?" A huge smile across her lips.
"Well... yes..." She felt tears coming to her eyes. "I wouldn't do this if it wasn't with him." Then, she made a brief pause. "Maybe that's the crazy thing... to do this with him."
"You love him." Ellie told her.
"Fuck... I do..." Brenda smiled. "More and more."
Then, Heaven erupted in a loud cry and Ellie started to rock her sweetly to see if she calmed down, but she frowned even more. She raised her arms above her tiny head and clenched her fists and opened her little mouth so the cry could come out louder.
"Jesus." Brenda laughed. "She has his lungs..."
"B... I gotta go..." Ellie said, seeing Heaven wasn't calming down. "Chris is in therapy and I need to see if she calms down."
"We'll talk later." Brenda told her.
"Bye!" Ellie said and hung up, letting the phone on the bed, and turning on her stomach and resting her nose against Heaven's cheek.
"Come on, my love." She whispered, rubbing the tip of her nose on her baby and Heaven began to quiet down. "You are so tired, baby girl. You should sleep." She continued whispering.
At that moment, she felt the bedroom's door opening very slowly so he wouldn't make any noise. Still, the moment he got inside the bedroom, he noticed Heaven wasn't sleeping. Instead, she was staring at Ellie.
"She's awake?" Chris asked, laying on the bed too. Heaven in the middle of them.
"She's cranky." Ellie told him. "You know, she's tired but she's fighting it..." She smiled. "I will never understand her dynamics." Then, she looked up at Chris. "How was therapy?"
"It was good." He told her. "Hey!" He shot a huge smile at Heaven which caused Ellie to smile too.
Then, Chris took her little hand with his index finger and Heaven closed her tiny little hand around it with her blue eyes wide open. He smiled looking at her.
"You didn't let your mommy sleep my princess?" Chris baby talked to her. "I can stare at her for hours." He turned to Ellie then.
"She looks so much like you, more and more every day." Ellie said and he smiled proudly.
"You think?" Chris asked though, looking down at his baby.
"Yes." Ellie affirmed. "I love how you dressed her today."
"She looks so cute, doesn't she?" He smiled at Ellie while she nodded. "You look so tired, babe." Chris bent over and kissed her lips.
Then, he kissed Heaven's little forehead and took her in his arms then he kissed Ellie's lips again.
"Where are you going?" Ellie asked him, looking up at him as he got up holding Heaven against his chest.
"I'm gonna take her downstairs and try to put her to sleep." Chris said. "You should try to get some sleep as well. You need your nap." He told her.
"I am tired...." Ellie confessed. "But so are you, babe..." She stared at him.
"Don't worry about me." He smiled and started walking away.
She worried about him and she worried a lot and even if Ellie curled under the covers and adjusted the pillow under her head and closed her eyes to try to sleep, she couldn't because all she could think of was that he was also not getting enough rest. Thus, after an hour tossing and turning, she gave up. There was no way she would fall asleep so she got up and went for a shower. She stayed under water for some time just trying to relax. Her head was pounding, exactly because she wasn't getting enough rest. After, she dried her body and came back to the bedroom to get dressed. She grabbed a pair of black leggings and a green loose tank top. Next, she came back to the bathroom to brush her teeth and hydrate her skin with her daily moisturizers and finally, she went downstairs to join Chris and Heaven. Part of her wanted to find them both sleeping but as she approached the living room, she heard the radio playing really low. Some slow music was playing and Chris was so distracted that he didn't see her peeking at the door. Heaven was resting on his knees and he was laid down on the couch talking to her.
"You know my princess... I love your mommy more than anything...." Ellie heard him say and she smiled, feeling her heart melting. She strayed from the door to hear what he was saying.
"I met mommy when I was twenty-four you know, at a party... It's been a little bit more than three years. I love her since then. She was so beautiful... she still is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Well, you are too princess, you're the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life." Chris raised his baby at the level of his face. "You're so perfect Heaven and daddy loves you so much." Heaven began to cry that moment. "No... no... don't complain. I am doing the best I can baby girl." He said and Ellie giggled, but covered her mouth not to be heard.
"Hey, this is the song you like." Chris told her, and Ellie knew he was smiling because there was joy in his voice. A song from Dirty Dancing began to play on the radio, She's Like the Wind. "Wanna dance with daddy? I know you love to dance this song with me." Ellie heard Chris getting up from the sofa. "Slow dancing with daddy makes you really calm doesn't it my baby girl?" He still baby talked.
Ellie couldn't hold her curiosity that moment and peeked. Chris was dancing with the baby leaning on his shoulder and amazingly she was so quiet. Ellie thought Heaven felt like being rocked, but those were all bad vices and still adorable ones. Not containing her love inside anymore, she decided to join them that moment and approached Chris with her heart beating a mile per second from the intense love she felt while hearing him say those beautiful words to their daughter. His words sure warmed up her heart and made her feel happy and special, like he always did. When he saw her coming in, he smiled at her, but he didn't stop moving for Heaven was really quiet.
"Can I join you two?" Ellie asked him.
"Come." He told her, stretching an arm so she could hold them.
Ellie glued her body to his and they danced slow with their baby girl between them. Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and Chris held her by her waist with his free arm, for the other was holding Heaven. They slow danced together. The three of them shared such a perfect and sweet and calm moment.
"This is so perfect." Chris whispered in her ear.
"I love you." Ellie told him gently caressing the back of his neck with the tip of her fingers. "So much my wild boy."
"I love you too." Chris responded.
Then, he pulled away a bit and looked straight into her eyes. His blue gaze hypnotized hers, and Ellie couldn't but stare back at him. Little by little he began to make his way towards her lips, just to stop when their noses touched. Her hand at the back of his neck kept on caressing him, letting Chris know he could move forward. It took him a few seconds but then he made it to her lips. They kissed softly first. Chris placed tiny juicy kisses on her lips first and then his tongue searched for hers. She took it eagerly, and soon their tongues danced to the rhythm of their bodies moving to the sound of the song, slow dancing enjoying every second of the kiss they were sharing. His free hand roaming on her back up and down caressing her. Like always the kiss was tender and filled with love. They stopped when they both needed air to breathe. A smile sealed that quiet moment and then Ellie's eyes fell on their baby.
"She fell asleep." Ellie told him. "Look, Chris..." She smiled.
"Jesus... finally..." He chuckled.
"Yeah." Ellie agreed.
Chris let go of Ellie and put Heaven in her stroller. Then, he covered her with her pink blanket and then sat on the couch and offered Ellie his hand. Ellie took it and he pulled her to him. She took the opportunity to straddle him and made it fast for his lips again. She had all green cards from the two doctors and they still haven't made love and she missed it. This time, the kiss was quicker and rougher for Chris was missing her too much too. Their desire for one another was huge and they kept inflaming their bodies with kiss after kiss. Ellie took her chance by diving her hands inside his shirt, but just like the other times she had tried to do so, he grabbed her hands, stopping her from touching him. Ellie pulled away and groaned of frustration.
"You can't." He told her, looking in her eyes.
"I can't or you are afraid?" She asked him. "Chris... we need to get over this too."
He grabbed her face between his hands and pulled her away a bit more so he could look in her eyes.
"I think we should wait." Chris argued.
"The doctors... both of them... they said it's ok." Ellie told him. "I miss you... I miss our intimacy... I want it back..."
"I think we should wait, babe." Chris told her, then his eyes filled with tears for he knew he was failing her. "I am afraid, it's a fact..."
"I am fine." She said, traveling her lips over his neck. He growled at the back of his throat trying to fight the urge in his body. Ellie was feeling him so ready under her that it made her want him even more.
"I want to wait a bit more, Ellie." Chris insisted.
"You want you so badly." Ellie responded, taking a hand between them, and grabbing his crotch in her hand softly.
"God..." He moaned a bit. "I want it too!" He said, taking her hand away gently not to hurt her feelings. "I just don't think it's safe, that's all." Chris kissed her hand. "Please... don't get this the wrong way." Ellie nodded.
"It's ok." She nodded.
"Ellie..." Chris held her face between his hands and tears appeared in his eyes again. "I know I am failing you as a man."
"No, babe." Ellie pecked his lips. "No... I don't want you to think about it that way because that's not the way I see it." She looked in his eyes. "In everything in our life, we are together and we are together in this too. I don't think you are failing at all. We talked about this. You told me about your fear and I get it. It's not failing, it's something you need to surpass."
"I saw you collapsing in front of my eyes, Ellie. I don't want anything similar to happen again." Ellie understood his point of view. That moment, Heaven began to cry. "And she's not letting us do anything..." He said as they heard her crying.
"We are ok." Ellie said, and then kissed her lips. "Are we clear?"
"Yeah." Chris nodded.
"Now... let me go check on her." Ellie smiled, getting out of his lap. "Oh sweetie, mom and dad wanted to have a quiet moment." She said, rocking the stroller a bit to see if she calmed down.
"I don't know when she's going to give us that, Ellie." Chris told her.
Heaven calmed down quite fast though. Even though he didn't want to go further, Chris pulled Ellie back to him for another kiss but it was interrupted by Heaven again. They laughed against each other's lips.
"She's punishing us." He joked.
"I guess we have to hold her." Ellie said, getting up and taking her of the stroller.
"Can't you sleep for more than ten minutes young lady?" Ellie talked to her. She sat back on the couch holding her and rested her head against Chris's chest.
"We were kissing and bonding, you could have least given us an hour." Chris added. "Mom and dad need time for us little princess."
"I don't think she cares about that." Ellie told him.
"Look at what we've got ourselves into." He said with his eyes shining bright looking at Heaven over Ellie's shoulder.
Heaven looked back at them calm with her tiny blue eyes wide open. She was listening to their voices and she wanted attention like every other baby does.
"Welcome to parenthood." Ellie said. Chris smiled and looked at her.
"You know what we could do?" He asked and she shook her head. "We could go back to bed... it's raining... we're exhausted... no one is coming here... and maybe we can put her to sleep." He suggested.
"I'd love that." She smiled and kissed his lips.
"Let's go then." Ellie got up, holding Heaven in her arms. "Look... she is falling asleep." She showed him the baby closing and opening her eyes and sucking on her pacifier franticly.
"Maybe she does and we can sleep a bit too." Chris wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they went upstairs though it was almost time for lunch.
When they got to the bedroom, Heaven was fully asleep in her mother's arms. Carefully, she put her in her crib and covered her, and adjusted her little head after so she could be comfortable. When she turned around, Chris was sitting on their still messy bed, pulling his sweat pants off his legs, and slid under the covers just in boxers.
"I'm waiting ..." Chris smiled at her.
"I'm going." Ellie stood provocatively at the edge of the bed and stripped in front of his eyes.
She would torture him to the point he couldn't say no anymore and lose his fear. First, she pulled her tank to off her head and then took her hands behind her back and got rid of her bra. She saw his eyes landing on her naked breasts for a while and when his eyes came back to encounter hers, she smiled.
"You are a teaser." He shot.
"I just want you, Chris." Ellie told him, not caring if she was sounding desperate. In a way she was desperate.
"Come to bed." He whispered.
Ellie walked around the bed until she was on her side. Then, she sat and pulled her leggings off her legs, but together it, so were her panties. She got under the covers completely naked. Immediately, he rolled his body closer to hers and wrapped an arm around her waist.
"So provocative." He said, kissing her lips softly. "I love you so much." He whispered sweetly.
"I love you too." Ellie responded, looking in his eyes and pulling a strand of his wild hair behind his ear. "Close your eyes..." She raised her head and kissed him one more time. "Let's try to rest a bit."
"Ok." He agreed.
As usual, Ellie turned on her right side, for it was her favorite position to fall asleep, and soon she felt him dragging his body closer to hers. Chris wrapped a leg around her and an arm around her waist, gluing his semi naked body to hers. Just from pressing his body against hers, Ellie felt him ready for her, and her desire grew even more. It was killing her, and in a sense, she knew it was killing him too. Her body began to ache for his once more. Ellie decided to try again. She wouldn't give up that easily, so she dragged her body back against his and rubbed her ass against his crotch. Chris moaned really low in her ear and tugged his hand around the flesh of her hip. Ellie smiled for she knew she was succeeding.
"Chris..." She whispered. "I am so ready for you, babe..." She instigated him.
"Stay still." Chris responded with his voice trembling a bit.
Ellie bit her lip. The more she felt him against her the more she desired him. She was so wet... it was killing her. She decided to grab his hand that was resting on her belly and slid it down between her legs, making him touch her soft, sensitive, and moist intimate part.
"Fuck... Ellie..." He whispered in her ear.
"I can do this." She told him, turning on her back to look at him.
Then, she freed his hand but he left it there stroking her nicely and slowly. Ellie moaned low as his fingers wondered her. He knew so well how to touch her. He knew so well how she liked it and what she liked. Next, he searched for her lips and she raised her head to kiss him back and arched her back at the same time as he worked on her expertly. Their lips united on fire while his free hand guided her hand inside his boxers. Ellie grabbed his manhood in her hand, hard as rock, and Chris moaned against her lips as she began to work on him too.
"Is this ok?" Ellie broke the kiss to ask him, as she was feeling him relaxing but she didn't want to cross his boundaries.
"It is fine...." He answered her while kissing her neck.
Ellie didn't mind if they would not go all the way. If that was what she could take from him that moment, that was all she wanted. That was already a step forward. A victory, considering they hadn't been intimate at all since she left the hospital. Sure, they kissed and they shared caresses but not touching that way or anything close. So, if he was willing to cross that little boundary, she was ok with it. She just wanted him back.
"Harder, Ellie." Chris asked her, but his boxers were getting on her way.
Realizing that, he pulled his boxers down freeing himself for her. Ellie stroke him harder as he asked.
"Oooh..." He moaned in her ear.
That moment, Ellie realized she missed his uncontrolled moans while they made love more than she thought she did. She missed everything.
"Yeah..." She gasped as he plunged a finger inside her. "Baby..." She moaned too, feeling the pleasure between her thighs escalating.
Chris pulled his finger in and out sending shivers down her spine. She was ready to let go as she began to feel her legs numb. She knew she was losing control over her body; he was the one controlling it. Ellie arched her back to feel him better, but she wanted more, much more. That wasn't enough.
"Baby, please." She begged him. "I want you."
"I'm scared." Chris gasped.
"I'm fine." She told him. "I promise I am fine. I want you so damn much." She tried again.
Chris withdrew his fingers from her and gently took her hand away from him too and stayed still. For a moment, Ellie thought she had pulled him away by pressuring him but then she felt his warm hands on her knees, parting her legs so she could receive him. Chris bent over her and stared into her eyes.
"Is it really safe?" He asked again.
Ellie searched for his lips and kissed him, instead of answering him. His lips and tongue giving away all his desire too. He was so eager it hurt.
"It's safe." Ellie said, breaking the kiss. "It's really safe. Nothing is going to happen to me."
He searched for her lips against and then she felt him making his way inside of her. He made it so softly and gently that she almost came with the nearly new sensation. Chris paused when he made all his way in, teasing her a bit more with another kiss and then taking her softly in his arms and he made love to her slowly and easy.
"Chris..." Ellie moaned as he rocked her at his will.
"Do you like it like this?" He asked her for he was loving her so gently.
"I do." She told him lost in pleasure.
"Oh, fuck baby..." He said, carving his teeth on her neck softly. "Ellie..." He whispered her name fastening his pace.
It had been a long time and they were both so eager that Ellie knew it wasn't going to last long. Chris was already too close, and they had been playing almost to the limit before. They were already too worked up when they started. Her hands roamed on his back, sometimes she fully grabbed handfuls of his skin as her sensations grew inside of her.
"Ellie, I missed having you like this so much. I can't take it any longer." His voice sounded desperate. Chris was as desperate to come just like she was.
"I want to come." Ellie announced. "God... make me come..."
He didn't wait a second. With her hands clutched on his ass, he imposed a faster pace. Ellie was feeling his body subsiding to the ultimate pleasure as much as hers was. Their moans echoing in the room too loud. It was their own risk to wake up their baby daughter sleeping by their side but they forgot all about it. They were just too far gone to remember it.
"Chris..." She gasped his name loud as she arched her back and her body quivered uncontrollably.
Her orgasm making her moan things she doesn't even remember and seconds after he just subsided to his too.
"OH..." His lips opened and his body jerked almost violently "Fuck...baby..." He said, clenching his jaw as he released it all inside of her.
When it was all over, he stayed on top of her catching his breath and spreading sweet kisses all over her face, while her hands caressed his back.
"I missed you." He whispered. "God... how I missed you."
"I missed you too. We have so much to catch up." She said and then she felt his lips opening a smile against her cheek as he kissed her and he giggled.
"If our daughter let us." He said. "I hope we didn't awaken her." He said rolling on the bed to his side to peek at the crib.
"If we did we'd know it by now." Ellie told him. Chris rolled over again and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her cheek.
"You are right." He said. Chris planted tiny little kisses on her face. "I love you my sweet girl." He smiled.
"I love you too." Ellie said.
"I want to do things right, Ellie."
Chris reassured her and she knew he was referring to his therapy and leaving the treatment he needed and drink less or not at all.
"Chris..." She looked in his eyes. "I am proud of you. I hope you understand what I mean. You are wonderful, babe. You are a wonderful husband and a wonderful dad. And I know that having her is giving you a hard time too, because I know you and I know all your fears. You are a wonderful father, babe. I couldn't have chosen a better father for her. Not in this lifetime anyway."
"I want to be a great father, Ellie. I can't even tell what I feel for her, it's an immeasurable feeling. She's so tiny and so dependent on us. We can't let her down. I don't want to let her down, ever."
"You won't." Ellie kissed his lips. "Just the way you take care of her, babe. It shows it..."
Chris was going to answer but Heaven started to whimper. They stayed quiet and silent just waiting to see if she calmed down by herself but after a few seconds, she erupted in a huge and painful crying.
"Here we go again." Chris said.
"Let's stay quiet maybe she'll calm down." Ellie whispered.
"Yeah, and Santa is for real." He whispered back. Ellie tapped him gently, giggling. "What?" Chris curled an eyebrow. "It's true, Ellie!" He exclaimed "Chickens will have teeth when she calms down by herself."
Ellie cracked a laughter at his last remark, but he was right. Heaven's crying didn't subside, it was just getting worse and louder.
"I better go there." Chris said, getting out of the bed. Again, when the baby felt his hands, she stopped crying. "See, this is what she wants." He told her.
"She cries because she knows someone is gonna get her." Ellie said.
"Oh yeah, now it is my fault." He teased, coming back to their bed with their baby. "Hey little girl, we were thinking about getting some sleep here!" He baby talked.
Ellie rested her head on his chest watching their girl. Heaven was not even close to go back to sleep. She was all eyes wide open hearing her daddy talking to her.
"I don't think she wants to go back to sleep. It's not her fault her parents wanted to do dirty things." Ellie joked.
"Ah! And who's fault is that?" Chris laughed. "Mommy!" He said, pointing with Heaven's little arm at her. Ellie tapped him again. "It's true!" He complained.
"Don't teach her things." Ellie complained.
"I am innocent." Chris said. "Daddy was trying to sleep and mommy was provoking." He talked to her. Heaven smiled and they laughed loud. "See, she knows I am right!" He teased again.
"Daddy is an idiot." Ellie talked to her. Heaven smiled again making them laugh until they lost our breath.
"Jesus, we haven't had lunch and she wants to play! I don't deserve this." Chris said in between laughter.
"We got ourselves into trouble." Ellie gasped.
"It's a wonderful trouble." Chris smiled. "God...she's so amazing."
"Look... she is smiling at you again." Ellie pointed out.
"Hi, my princess." Chris smiled at Heaven and she smiled again timidly.
"These are her first smiles." Ellie remembered. "I mean her first real smiles." She said excitedly.
"To her daddy." Chris said proudly. "Thanks, Ellie." He then turned his face to her.
"For what, babe?" She asked, feeling a little lost.
"For giving me her." He said and Ellie felt her eyes welling in tears.
"Oh, Chris..." That was all she could say while she cleaned her eyes feeling emotional.