A/N - Thank you to tasblacc for the request. Hope you enjoy!
TW: Gore, mentions of suicide, swearing
Tommy woke up and immediately fell out of bed, which is how he knew that it was going to be a bad day. He groaned, massaging his bruised tailbone before getting up and picking out what clothes to wear. Baseball tee with red sleeves, or yellow sleeves? He settled on the yellow sleeves.
He spent a little longer than necessary eating his breakfast, but he'd had a bad morning so he figured he deserved the extra ten minutes. Then, he made his way to Tubbo and Ranboo's house.
On the way there, he passed by an orange lump partly concealed by a bush, which he almost walked past before his keen sense of smell noted the tang of blood in the air. He looked over to see that it was a baby fox with deep tooth marks in his side, alive but barely breathing.
Tommy felt sad looking at the poor creature, but he couldn't do anything to help it, so he went on his way. By the time he got to Tubbo and Ranboo's, he had completely forgotten about the fox pup and was knocking excitedly on their door. "Hey, Tommy!" Ranboo greeted. "'Ow do, Ranboob?" He said, strutting past Ranboo into the house. "Ranboo," The enderman hybrid corrected quietly, but Tommy pretended not to hear him and shouted for Tubbo. "Hey, Tommy!" The short boy said as he bounded down the stairs. He quickly hugged Tommy, and the three of them proceeded to go on their walk. They did it every once and a while to spend time with Tommy and for a little break from parenting Michael, who was being watched by Niki.
As most of the times they went on these walks, they naturally formed a triangle formation with Tubbo and Ranboo in the front and Tommy trailing behind, successfully cut off from the conversation. Every once and a while he would make an attempt to join in, but it always drifted away from anything he could contribute to, so he simmered in silence as the two oblivious husbands in front of him chatted and laughed as if he wasn't there. It hurt, but Tommy wasn't going to let the hurt get to him. He was the great Tommyinnit, he didn't care if he was left out of a conversation!
But he felt a pang in his heart when he started trailing further and further behind, and neither of his friends noticed. Did they even remember he was there?
He got lost in his thoughts as he stared at the crunching leaves and dirt below his feet, letting his anger grow. He was pulled out of his trance when he heard a familiar voice.
"Tommy! You're so far back, why weren't you walking with us?"
Tommy just stared at him, feeling his patience wear thin. When he didn't respond, Tubbo just kept talking, and Tommy pursed his lips in a tight line. He was about to burst.
"Ranboo went back to the house to check on Michael. It's just us, do you want to keep going or turn back?"
A quiet voice told him that Tubbo wouldn't want to talk with him, while another voice told him to take the chance for some one-on-one time with his friend.
"If it's all right with you, can we keep walking?"
"Sure!" Tubbo said in his infuriatingly nice and complacent voice.
It took all of two minutes for that ball of burning gas inside him to implode.
"Just tell me if you hate me, okay Tubbo? I know you like Ranboo better, but it's not helping anyone for you to keep pretending you like hanging out with me. I don't want your fucking pity," Tommy spat into the calm silence. Tubbo let out a squeak in surprise, not expecting the venom from his friend, but quickly recovered. "I don't know where your head's at, but I like hanging out with you. I would tell you if I wouldn't want to, okay?" His voice was a conflicting mixture of frustration and concern, like he couldn't decide whether to be angry or worried with his friend.
"Yeah, but you're always hanging out with Ranboo. It's not fair," He muttered the last part. "What's not fair about that, Tommy? He's my husband. We share a child and a home," Tubbo sighed, already knowing where this was going. "Yeah, but he's fuckin'..." He took a deep breath, and Tubbo clenched his eyes shut, predicting his next words. "He's stolen you from me!"
"Ranboo hasn't stolen me, Tommy. I don't belong to you, and I don't belong to him either. You need to understand that my priorities have changed and that I've grown up. You should too."
When Tommy didn't respond, Tubbo felt a tinge of guilt. He knew his words were true, but it didn't mean Tommy needed to hear them from him, and in such a harsh way. "Look, I will make it more of a priority to spend time with you. Would that be okay?" He brought out his peace-making voice, and that was when Tommy decided he didn't want to be there anymore.
With a groan in frustration, he stopped his walking. "I don't want your pity time. If that's the reason you hang out with me, then maybe we shouldn't hang out." With that, he walked away, leaving the atmosphere charged with anger and unresolved issues. He wouldn't be the one to fix them that day.
-
Tommy walked through the woods for hours, not noticing the sun inch closer and closer to the treeline, too lost in his thoughts. He regretted his fight with Tubbo, but he didn't want to take back his words. He was never one for dwelling on his mistakes. He wouldn't apologize; he would just move on and hope Tubbo would too.
His thoughts were interrupted with a flash of pink through the maze of trees around him. Then again a few moments later to the left.
The pink blob revealed itself to be the evil Piglin spawn by the name of Michael. God, Tommy spent way too much time thinking about Michael. Not in a creepy way, he just didn't know how to feel about him.
On the one hand, Michael was an innocent kid who barely had the brain capacity to add single-digit numbers at his age. On the other hand, if it weren't for Michael, there wouldn't be so much of a rift between Tommy and his platonically-married friends. On top of that, whenever he looked at the kid he was reminded of already how much better his childhood was than Tommy's. He had two loving parents who doted on him every second. They built him a huge house, distanced themselves from the conflicts and the people, and loved him so much more than Tommy could even fathom. He was happy to see the Piglin child getting everything he hadn't, but it made him so unbearably jealous.
Unfortunately, this wasn't a good time to fix his one-sided issues with the kid, because he was noticing that it was currently nearing dusk and Michael was nowhere near his home.
He was still a bit far away, so he walked toward the kid. Why was he lying down?
"Michael? Buddy, why are you out here all alone?"
He was met with a groan that pushed the panic buttons in his brain, shooting him into overdrive. He hurried toward the kid, and the closer he got, the stronger the smell of blood became.
"Oh God," Tommy murmured in horror, his shaky hands hovering over the boy's frail body. There was a gaping hole in his abdomen, what looked to be a hostile mob bite of some sort. Zombie, spider, it wasn't concerning to Tommy. What he was worried about was how lightly and slowly the boy's chest was rising and falling.
"Unc' Tom," Michael wheezed. "No Michael, don't speak. We've got to get you back to your dads," Tommy rushed, but he swore time stopped as the boy's chest stopped moving and his eyes drifted closed. He was waiting for time to unpause, but the register of his shaky breaths told him that time was moving just fine. Michael was dead.
He spent many hours that night consoling the grieving couple, along with other members of the SMP. He went to sleep with unbearable guilt in his chest. Oh God, it should have been him.
-
Tommy woke up and was immediately reminded of the previous day's events, but was unceremoniously interrupted by falling out of bed. Why did that keep happening?
He reached toward his red-sleeved top, but something told him to pick the yellow.
He couldn't stomach breakfast that morning, so his walk to Snowchester started earlier. On his way, he saw an orange lump moving behind a bush. With a start, he registered that it was the same bush as yesterday.
The orange lump was a fox, with wound marks in the exact same place as the one from yesterday. How uncanny.
He crouched down next to it, and noticed it was in slightly better shape as the fox from yesterday, but too far gone for him to save. Oh God, why did innocent creatures have to keep dying?
He swallowed his bile and moved on the Tubbo and Ranboo's house, prepared for a day of comforting and tissues. But to his surprise, Ranboo opened the door with a smile, greeting him the exact same way as yesterday. What the fuck?
"What's with the look?" Ranboo asked with furrowed eyebrows. "How are you so... cheerful?" Tommy bristled, knowing something was wrong.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Tommy was about to explain when Tubbo came bounding down the stairs. Again, just like yesterday. "Hello, Tommy!"He squeezed around Ranboo to hug Tommy, who barely had the thought to hug him back, too confused. "Michael is with Niki, so let's go!" Tommy didn't move. "Tubbo... don't you remember?" Tubbo cocked his head in confusion. "Michael's gone. He died yesterday."
"Huh?" Tubbo and Ranboo said at the same time. "Don't know what you're on about, but Michael was perfectly fine when I dropped him off with Niki," Tubbo said with a slight frown.
"Maybe it was a dream?" Ranbo offered. "Awful dream," Tubbo shuddered. "But you don't have to worry, Tommy. Michael's fine."
The day proceeded similar to yesterday, except the walk was very pleasant. Again, he was left out of the conversation, and again, Ranboo left early to check on Michael, but this time Tommy didn't start any fights with Tubbo.
When Tommy kept wandering aimlessly through the woods and stumbled upon Michael's mutilated body in the exact same place, he knew something was seriously fucked up.
-
It took him four days of absolute hell to figure out what was happening. He seemed to be living the same day over and over again, unable to get out of it. Every day would begin with falling out of bed and end with a dead Michael, and Tommy had no fucking clue what to do.
He began experimenting. Some days, he would skip his walk with Tubbo entirely and go fuck around somewhere on the SMP. Some days, he would cherish the time with his friend. Other days, he would insist on watching Michael the entire day, but he always managed to lose him before nightfall, sometimes the mobs even infiltrating the house somehow. Sometimes they would find his body, sometimes they wouldn't, but he would always wake up and fall out of bed, hitting the exact same place on his tailbone.
One fateful day, he did it. Michael survived the entire day. It took him so long to figure out how to do it, but he didn't think he'd ever forget how good it felt to know Michael was safe by the time he got to sleep.
But the next day, he woke up the same. So he did it again. Michael survived again. And Tommy realized, maybe there wasn't a way out of this. Or maybe he just needed to take a different path, a more extreme one.
After that thought was introduced to his head, Tommy tried every possible way to kill himself that there was in Minecraft, and nothing. He always woke up with a bruised tailbone.
It was the exact same nightmare every day, until one night, he had a dream. He had never dreamed before. Er, rather, since the whole... time loop thing... had started.
He woke up the next day with an echo of an unfamiliar voice in his head telling him to think back to the beginning. What beginning?
He started with his birth. Maybe this was about restoring his relationship with his family! That day, he hurried to Technoblade and Phil's home, and that day ended in him getting stabbed. And the next. And the next. Until eventually, he concocted the perfect mixture of words and actions to get his relationship with his remaining family back on track.
But on the day that he didn't think he could possibly do any better, he went to sleep and woke up the same way. And the day began again.
He was brought back to that voice from the dream he had that felt like forever ago. The beginning... maybe the beginning of the time loop?
Oh God, he barely remembered that day. Let's see... he ate breakfast late, found that dead fox, got in a huge fight with Tubbo, and found Michael's body.
Maybe he needed to fix everything that had happened that day. So what did that involve?
Saving the fox, not getting in a fight with Tubbo, keeping Michael alive. Okay. He could do that.
By now, Tommy didn't have many rational thoughts flitting through his brain. He had sacrificed every ounce of pride and logic long ago with everything he did to try to escape this hell the universe had thrown him into, and it was no issue for him to live the day over and over again until he got it right. At least it gave him something to do.
The day that everything changed was the first day that Tommy had felt normal in many, many months. Years? He wasn't sure how many days had passed. But for once, he found himself caring about that, just a little.
He woke up early, early enough to go out into the woods and save a baby fox from getting attacked by wolves. He found its mother and reunited them, getting rewarded with a lead from the mother fox's mouth. Score.
Then, he got to Tubbo and Ranboo's house, had the usual conversation, and they started out on their walk.
This time, he didn't try to change anything. He just let things play out until he knew where it was about to go wrong. And that was the moment before he had blown up at Tubbo that very first day.
"You know, I'm really glad you have Ranboo," He said into the calm silence, a stark contrast to his venomous words on the very first day. "Really?" Tubbo said appreciatively with a smile. "That's nice to hear from you, Tommy. I didn't think you liked him."
"Well that doesn't really matter, does it? What matters is you like him. It's not up to me to decide anything about him; he's your husband, he's the one you share Michael with. And I'm really glad you're happy with him." 'Even if you're happy without me,' but Tommy kept that part to himself. "Besides, he's not so bad," He mumbled, knowing exactly what he was doing.
Tubbo just hummed, a smile on his face. All was well with his friends, and that made him very happy.
"Do you want to keep going, or turn back?" Tubbo asked eventually. Tommy thought for a second, memorizing his words from earlier in case he messed up later and had to say them again the next day. After a few moments, he decided the best course of action and put on a very serious face. He needed Tubbo to listen to his words.
"I'll keep walking, you go back. And Tubbo, you need to do everything I say. When you get home, make sure Michael and Ranboo are with you. Lock all of your doors and windows. Don't let Michael out of your sight; hold his little hand as tightly as you can, and under no circumstances must you let go until the sun has set and the moon has risen and everyone is asleep. Okay?"
"Okay," Tubbo said, becoming increasingly disturbed by his friend's strange tone and words. "...May I ask why?"
"I know something that's going to happen, something very, very bad. Your worst nightmare. I also know that to stop it, you need to do everything I've told you. Then it will all be okay."
"Alright. I'll do it all. Just... take care of yourself, Tommy. Are you getting enough sleep?"
At that moment, something told Tommy to look into Tubbo's eyes and memorize the swirling browns and hazels. Memorize the curve of his horns, his freckles, the comforting green of his shirt. He knew it must have looked quite weird to Tubbo, but he spent a solid five minutes just looking at Tubbo's face, committing the curves and edges to memory. Then he pulled him into a tight hug, the tightest hug he'd ever given. "Take care of yourself too, Tubbo. I love you."
It took everything in him not to keep hold, but he knew he had to let go of his friend. He had to watch him walk away, and he had to turn around and keep walking to a place he's memorized the surroundings of eons ago.
He walked to the area that was usually tainted with the blood of an innocent child, and this time the dirt was dry and brown.
He made sure to get there very early by keeping a close eye on the sun. And then, all he had to do was wait for the mobs to spawn.
As he was slowly surrounded by green, fleshy arms, furry legs, and glowing purple eyes, he knew he had to do this so that Michael could stay safe in his house. So that Tubbo and Ranboo could hug their son and watch him grow up into a fine adult.
He kept this thought in his head with a smile on his face as the mobs ravaged his body. The next day, he didn't wake up in his bed.
(A/N, skip if you're not interested)
Let's not talk about how the ending doesn't make sense. Kapeesh?
Hello! So my chapters are getting longer and longer and I'm just wondering if anyone would be willing to be a beta reader? I spend a lot of time reading these over and over to make sure everything's alright, and I think it would save time and make them better quality if another eye was reading these before I post them. You don't have to deep edit or anything, just read over the final version and inform me of glaring mistakes or parts that need changing. Please let me know if you're interested!
Update: (sorry for the notif) I'm not sure how to phrase it, but the position-thing is closed now. Thank you to the people who volunteered! You all will be a great help :)