(A/N: req as a pic. hmm I haven't touched the verses in a while aha just too many reqs to write aha-
also less of bamf and more of being chaotic nuisances that can fight very well)
"We're going to Walmart," Purpled announced, not even bothering to knock before lifting Tommy up by the scruff, holding him a far distance away as he squawked and flailed around, while Ranboo quickly paused their Mario Kart game, and Tubbo immediately stuffed a remote into the pocket of his hoodie.
"Why?" Tubbo asked.
Purpled finally dropped Tommy down when he got close to kicking his crotch, and cleared his throat. "We're going on a supply run," he said.
"And getting banned," Ranboo added. "Or making a general nuisance."
"Now, what gives you that idea?"
"There's a guy there that Wilbur absolutely hates," Tommy piped up, standing back up with a small scowl. "He's a bitch. So we're gonna ruin his day, right?"
"...you all suck."
"You suck more," Tubbo told him cheerfully, already strolling out. "Now come on, we have chaos to cause!"
As they strolled into the store with their matching hoodies, Purpled grabbed the guns and threw all of them into a shopping cart.
"Get another shopping cart too," Purpled called out, taking out his phone and scrolling through his notes. "I'll send you guys what you need to get. You're free to do whatever else you want to do. All the money's on one of the throwaway cards, by the way."
"Sweet!" he heard Tommy yell, and sighed. He was already half-regretting his decision.
'Although...' he thought, eyeing the knives in the cutlery section, already pushing his cart there and leaving the other three behind. 'Maybe there are some good things that can be gotten from this...'
He could always get the milk and the bread later, anyways.
"Wine, butter, sugar..." Ranboo muttered.
He headed into the dairy section and quickly grabbed the nearest sticks of butter. He wasn't sure how many to get, so he simply grabbed five and hoped for the best.
Next, he moved to... well, he didn't know what section it was, but he simply grabbed two bags of sugar off the shelves, and placed them next to the butter. Then, he was promptly distracted by cereal, and moved over.
"Oh wow, they've got the new edition!" Ranboo whispered to himself excitedly, awkwardly squatting down so he could inspect each and every one of them.
He wasn't sure how long he spent deciding on whether to bring the medium sized or the large sized Crispy Creepers, but he was startled by a cry of his name.
"Hey!" Ranboo looked up from the cereal, blinking at the suddenly large amounts of blood splatters on Tubbo's hoodie.
"...did something happen?" he frowned.
"Nothing at all, big man!" Tubbo laughed, pushing his own cart, which was filled with bags of red liquid. "Just had something to do, that's all."
Ranboo squinted, and noticed that each of the bags had words scribbled on it. "...huh. Did the Podlets come by today?"
"Yup!" Tubbo said cheerfully, and gave no more than that. "Anyways, wanna go around together?"
"Sure!"
Now, Tommy had been raised a patient man.
Well no, he hadn't, but he had been taught to 'use words before violence' which, frankly, was a little weird, but it had gotten him out of more situations than it had put him in, so it was a good motto to follow.
However, right now, Tommy was going to flip a table onto this motherfucker's face.
No wonder Wilbur found this guy a right fuckin' git; he talked like a peacock, and his hair looked like something out of an anime — in the sense that it was horrendous, and should've never been allowed to see the light of day.
Yeah, no, Tommy was gonna punch the fuck out of him if he didn't get out of there as soon as possible. With that in mind, he started to move away, only to freeze when that asshole dared to insult his family.
And it wasn't just him. Somehow, unluckily for the pompous prick, the other three had also been nearby when he insulted their family. Not that he knew what sort of family they had, of course, but did it really matter?
Tommy could see both Ranboo and Tubbo nearby, freezing in pushing their carts. Purpled was somewhere nearby, too, and Tommy thought he saw him discreetly make a text to someone.
Eh, fuck it. They could always pay the bail.
With that in mind, Tommy pushed the cart away, sending it careening into a shelf of cans, and as all the cans toppled down like bowling pins, he clenched his fist and sent a sucker punch to the prick.
It all went to shit soon after, especially for the prick when the other three joined in.
"I blew up his car, we can move now," Tubbo announced to the group of teens all huddled behind a truck, as police sirens wailed and police searched for the 'group of teens who had assaulted a man and possibly killed sixteen more'.
In Tubbo's honest opinion, the 'sixteen more' part should've been credited to just him. But then again, the police might not have known, so he supposed that was a good enough excuse.
"Finally," Purpled groaned. "That was tiring, I'm never coming with you again."
"At least we got the items," Ranboo held up his bag with an awkward smile.
"No, Ranboo, that was only you. Tubbo's bags got thrown at the man."
"...oh."