Ink Stains (MCYT Oneshots)

Weird Human Rituals (SBI)

(A/N: screams. anyways short ficlet that i might turn into a longer fic so like. look out for that ig?)

"What are you doing?" Theseus frowned at the three that were currently doing... something in his ship's kitchen.

Ever since he had picked up the three humans from that wasteland of a planet, he'd been constantly surprised by their weird rituals and habits. Humans fascinated him as much as they terrified and confused him, but over the time, he'd grown attached to these three weird humans. Even if they seemed to have no sense of danger, and treated him like a young one, and did things like- this.

'This' being Wilbur hovering over a basin with a spatula stirring whatever was inside the basin, while Techno poured dihydrogen monoxide into another, smaller basin. Phil stood to the side, fumbling with the controls of the fireplace that Theseus had half a mind to step in and prevent him from accidentally causing a disaster on his ship, but didn't.

"Oh, hello Tommy!" Phil greeted him, which was a new thing too: nicknames. Theseus' name was easier for them to say than any other names that his species had, but apparently humans liked to give other names to those they spent a lot of time with and liked — a thought that made Theseus feel all fuzzy, and send himself to the medical scanner to check his health — and thus Theseus had been christened with the nickname of 'Tommy'. "We're baking a cake."

"Baking?" Theseus repeated the word. That was... not a new one, but it was the first time it had been brought up. "What's that?"

"It's like cooking, but for different things," Wilbur explained, and even though Theseus understood nothing in that sentence, he still nodded anyways.

"Right," he said. "What... are you 'baking'?"

"A cake," Phil said, having finished fiddling with the controls of the fireplace, stepping around Techno's focused form as he cracked two eggs to step in front of Theseus. "Would you like to join us, mate?"

Join them? "Could I?"

"Of course," Phil chuckled easily. "Come on, you can help Techno with the frosting."

Theseus had no idea what 'frosting' was, but the mixture that Techno had in his basin looked marginally more edible than whatever was in Wilbur's, so he took up that chance gladly.

Techno handed him a smaller basin, with something blue in it. "Those are crushed blueberries," he explained, which Theseus mentally translated to 'cyanococcus' — he still didn't know why the humans insisted on calling it a 'blueberry', when it wasn't a berry at all. "I'll tell you when to pour it into the bowl while I stir the frosting."

"What is the frosting supposed to do?" Theseus asked.

"Make the cake taste sweeter," Wilbur said. Theseus felt a rush of heat through his kitchen, and whirled around to see the cake being placed above the fireplace, and the protective door being slammed shut.

"And now, we wait for it to bake!" Wilbur announced. A tap to his shoulder turned Theseus' attention back to the basin of crushed cyanococcus that was being given to him, and Theseus hastily took it. He heard Phil chuckle fondly.

Theseus continued helping Techno with the frosting. Sure, he occasionally poured more crushed cyanococcus into the mixture before Techno said it was ready, but apparently it didn't matter much, and the process was only there to make the stirring go smoother and quicker, which Theseus was secretly thankful for. Then, after all the crushed cyanococcus was added, Techno added more ingredients. Theseus was allowed to stir a few times, and was always careful to not spill the frosting.

The frosting was done just in time for the cake to be pulled from the fireplace. This time, Theseus was given the opportunity to add the last bits of frosting to the cake. Although, it wasn't like he needed to add any more, considering how Wilbur had accidentally squeezed out too much frosting on his turn, effectively drenching the cake.

In the end, even if the cake turned out a little flat, and smelled a little like a mixture of cyanococcus and acid, and it tasted more than a little burnt, it was still pretty high in the list of food that Theseus had ever tasted.