Wishing you godspeed, glory
There will be mountains you won't move
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Still I'll always be there for you
How I do
Lila Rose
I haven't said one word since Harry and Matty found me.
So much has happened, so much it's hard to even think about. Harry told his side of the story to the police with me in his arms, and I watched him with love as he told his story. He told them how he came face to face with Ian, and his scared he was, and how hard it was to finally get him to the ground to run away. He told the story so confidently, like nothing could hurt him, but I could see the pain in his eyes. I feel like this is all my fault, this is all because of me and my stupid actions to make Ian do this to us. Ian would've killed Harry because of me, and the thought of that is so painful.
I'm so in love with this man. Without him doing that, Ian would've been at the door sooner, and Matty wouldn't have been able to get there in time. I'm go lucky. So incredibly, incredibly lucky. I'm so grateful for my Harry. I love him so much, I love him so so much.
I just can't talk.
Everything that happened keeps repeating in front of me, even as I sit on the edge of the bed, Harry in the bathroom, and I can't even try and focus on something else to get my mind off of it, and off of the way he fell, and the way his eyes wouldn't leave mine. Harry had a few bruises and cuts, but they've all scabbed over already, and I've been helping with his ice pack and stuff.
The blood on his shirt wasn't his.
He told me everything, he told me how he hit him, and how he felt while hitting him, like the anger inside of him was making him push Ian with every bit of energy he had. I just cried, and cried to him. I held him so close, hoping he wouldn't leave after this, and hoping that nothing was going to happen anymore. He's gone now, Harry kept repeating, over and over, all last night. We didn't sleep, no matter how exhausted the both of us were, and neither did Matty, Ellen, or any of Harrys bodyguards where they stood outside of the door, making sure no one else was coming after us anymore.
"You hungry?" Harry whispers, walking out of the bathroom, and I shake my head at him, holding the blanket around my shoulders tightly, and he walks towards me, my eyes on his bare chest, and he sighs. "Gotta eat something," he whispers, brushing the loose hair from my bun behind my ears, and I just feel sticky. My hands had to have some stitches, but they are thankfully the ones that can get wet, which is nice.
"C'mon, Lila...you haven't eaten since yesterday," Harry whispers, and my lips begin to tremble, shaking my head again. I don't want any food, I'm too scared I'll get sick again. I can't do this. I can't keep this feeling inside of me while also trying to sleep and eat, it doesn't work that way. "How about some pancakes, yeah? You love pancakes," Harry mumbled, and I shove my head into his warm chest, his hands running up and down my back.
"I know you don't want to...but you have to," he whispers into my hair, and my shoulders settle against him, knowing no matter what he was going to make me eat anyway. He lets go of me, reaching for the phone and I can hear him order us some food, and I miss his warmth. I do feel bad, knowing I keep having to be in his arms or touching him at all to even feel safe anymore. It just keeps repeating in my head. It won't stop.
"I got us some food...we'll eat then we can shower, okay, my lavender?" He whispers and I nod shortly at him, raising my arms for him to pick me up into his arms, and he smiles into my neck, holding me against him as he walks to the kitchen, sitting me down on the counter. "You sleepy?" He asks and I stay still, staring behind him at the wall and I have to blink to even try to process what he said, stepping forward and he sighs, tapping his nose against my cheek. "What's going on in that head of yours hm? Tell me, lavender," he whispers and I want to say something, I want to so bad, but I physically can't do that. I can't let my voice go.
Harry inhales, ducking down to catch my eyes, and he cups my face, kissing my dry lips, and I inhale at his taste, the only thing calming me down right now. "We're gonna figure this out...everything is going to be okay, baby," he whispers and tears prickle behind my eyes, my lips trembling, his eyes falling as he watches me begin to cry in his arms, a cry falling from my lips, and I can't even keep myself together, his eyes welling with tears too.
"C'mere baby, it's okay," he whispers, hooking his arms over mine, and holding my head against his neck. "Let's eat, baby, let me help you," he whispers when there's a knock on the door, and Matty brings in the food, looking at me sadly where I was slumped against Harrys chest on the counter. Harry thanks Matty softly, me giving him a wave, knowing without Matty and Harry I would've died instead of Ian.
"See look, pancakes," Harry grins and I can't help but give him a watery eyed smile, following him to out bed and I crawl in, sliding under the blankets and he sets the plate in front of me, the pancakes smelling amazing, and honestly my mouth was watering at the sight. The police would be coming in an hour to give us an update on what they've found, so I know I won't want to eat at all today after that. There's something just so unsettling about being with Harry while talking to the police.
I pick up the fork, looking up at Harry from in front of me as he chews slowly, nodding at me to take a bite, and I do. The syrup was practically melting me into the bed at the taste, so honey-like, and so maple. For being from a hotel these were good ass pancakes.
"There you go," Harry smiles, tapping my nose with his fork, and I give him a drunken look, chewing slowly on my food, not trying to eat too quickly. I don't want to get sick tonight. "Is it good?" Harry mumbles, and I nod, taking another big bite, and I close my eyes at the taste. We ate in silent for a while, the time for the police to be arriving coming closer and closer, and I can tell that even though I know nothing is going to happen, I can feel something wrong.
"Harry, they're here," Matty whispers as he walks in, my body now limp in the bed, the 3/4ths of my pancakes in the fridge for later. "Officer Maxwell...it's nice to see you again," Harry smiles, walking away from the bed, and I sit myself against the headboard, my eyes so sore with exhaustion. "You too Harry...hey, Lila," Maxwell says, and he's literally the only nice cop I've ever met. I give him a wave, wanting so bad to reach out for Harry. I need to be with him at all parts of my day, and I don't know why.
"Harry, take a seat...I have to tell you something," Maxwell whispers and I can feel my throat closing at the way he looked at me. Harry slides onto the middle of the bed, sliding his hand over my leg, and I sigh at the touch. Maxwell clears his throat before he speaks. "Jace Garrett...how long have you been working with him?" He whispers and I feel as if I already know what he's going to say. I know that he's going to tell me that Ian's a criminal or he's a bad person, and for some reason I can't even react to the thought of it fully.
"Around a year, maybe more? He's been here the whole time with Lila," Harry says softly, and I look at him as a nervous shiver brings goosebumps to his skin. I reach out for his hand, and he looks back at me. "Well we...Lila, Harry...I'm not so sure I know how to say this. Ian was driven to the airport and we are suspecting Jace had something to do with it,"
I'm going to get sick.
I knew Ian had to have gotten a ride or somehow gotten to the airport, but that doesn't mean that he got a ride from one of our team members right? He could've just walked from a hotel or he could've just done something to get a ride without paying, but it couldn't have been Jace. "Jace? Why?" Harry says, his head snapping to look at me and I shake my head, my hands shakily trembling. "We have a picture of the person, and we think it's Jace. We just thought we needed some more set of eyes on the pictures before we make a decision," Maxwell mumbles, and I watch with wide eyes as he pulls the pictures out of his jacket, and Harry's chest heaves quickly, looking back at me and the look in his eyes had mine swelling with tears at the thought.
I always knew something was off about Jace, but it wasn't always something that I wanted to talk to people about, especially Harry when I know he hired him to be a part of the team. There's no way in hell that I couldn't have seen how bad Jaces attitude and attention towards me is enough to do this, but at the same time I knew that Harry was thinking that this is his fault, which it isn't. He may have hired him, but you can't just sit back and know every single thing about someone through just their criminal background and talent.
"That's him...t-that's him I-" Harry starts and I can't even feel my hands as I look at the photo, feeling my stomach clench and I can't even inhale a breath as I see him. It was Jace it was Jace. He made all of this happen he made us get hurt like this. I choke out a cry at the picture, Harry not even moving and Maxwell presses his lips together, standing and he sighs, Harry staring straight ahead and I tug my knees to my chest, shoving my head between them, and he starts to speak.
"We'll get a warrant out...everything is going to be okay, guys. Try and get some sleep," he mumbles, sending Harry a sad smile, and I let a cough leave my throat as he leaves, shutting the door behind them and Harry put his head in his hands, bouncing his knees quickly, pulling at his curls and I can't even think straight at the sight of that picture, flashing just like Ian's eyes.
What if he was behind this the whole time? What if he knew about how bad everything was because of Ian, and took that idea and ran with it. What if he wanted me dead. Why is this all happening all at one time where I can't handle this. A week ago I attempted, three days Harry kissed Kendall, yesterday Ian, and now I'm here.
Jace took him to the airport.
Harry sprang up from the bed, pacing back and forth with such velocity that I could hear his feet his the floor with such velocity that it had me on my feet, walking towards him. His whole body was shaking, his chest heaving with an unhealthily fast rate. I stop him, holding his face in his hands and I wish I could say something. I wish I had the strength to tell him that this was okay. I wish I knew how to tell him that this was all going to be okay.
He lets out a cry against my hand and I just step into his chest, holding him so incredibly close to me, and his body shakes with sobs as he cried. I hate hearing this, the crying that's the list painful to listen to coming from the love of your life.
"I hired him...I hired him a-and he brought him to the airport. How did this happen?" He sobs into my neck, and I just hold him. I hold him as he cried just like he does for me, and I can now feel the pain he does when something like this happens to me. I know how hard this is hitting him, the fact that Jace was apart of his first tour and it's been...it's been this now.
I don't know why this is happening. I have no idea why the world decided to choose us and why this has to happen all in a row. I hate that I feel as if he's just taking care of me, and that I haven't been there for him. I need that to change. I want to be there for him more.
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hey babes how are you?
god I've been so busy so i sincerely apologize for this fucking shit chapter, but I swear good things are coming for Lila and Harry
ill see you in three days I PROMISE
xoxo s