Part 1/??
He knew exactly what he was getting into. But, he couldn't help it. Ojiro couldn't help but fall in love with the one and only Denki Kaminari.
Ojiro knew he had a slim chance of actually being with Denki but...he just couldn't stop himself.
Everything about the blonde attracted Ojiro.
The bright, beautiful smiles.
How he does his hair, the way he has to occasionally ran his hand through it to get it out of his eyes.
All of denki's stupid jokes, oh God. His laugh. Ojiro couldn't stop his smile whenever Denki laughed. As cheesy as it sounds, Ojiro couldn't get enough of Denki. And that's why he's like this.
That is the reason he's alone in his dorm room, sobbing over a boy he never had.
Sobbing because Denki found another. Found two others actually.
All of the memories are coming into his mind of how he came to love Denki as the tears roll down his face.
He was unbelievably happy for Denki, for finding love. But also, unbelievably hurt and sad because it wasn't him that Denki found.
Denki didn't know how much Ojiro loved him. And he would never know either.
It broke Ojiro to think about how shinso and Sero treat Denki.
It made him happy because Denki has people who show him just how much of an amazing person, beautiful being he is.
But, tore his open painfully slow, took out his heart quickly then tore it in two only to be stomped, brutally punched and kicked then fixed back together with a rusted needle that he wasn't the one showing Denki all that.
He remembered the way Denki smiled and waved at him. The way Denki laughed and joked around basically everyone.
The thoughts he would share.
The things they'd do together.
Ojiro hickuped from lack of oxygen. His tears of pain were consuming him. He could barely breathe, his chest hurt and his head.
He tried to calm down but, he couldn't. He couldn't stop the thoughts that were going into his mind. He couldn't stop the images of Denki. The voice of Denki talking to him.
Ojiro even began to feel denki's hands playing and holding his tail. Looking back, Ojiro saw nothing but a pillow.
Ojiro wished he could confess but now there was absolutely no chance for him.
Denki had Sero and Shinso.
They treated him so well.
Never caring who saw them, they'd cuddled when they wanted to, kiss, hug and Ojiro couldn't mess with how happy they made Denki.
So he pushed through the days. Survived the nights as best as he could.
Everyday was a battle and Ojiro could feel he was going to start losing Soon.
Getting up, Ojiro took a shower. A long, hot shower. He stayed in there until he heard voices and then he quickly made his way out. He got dressed painfully slow into his uniform.
He didn't want to go to school. He felt drained from the endless sleepless nights, his mind was killing him and he had a headache from the constant thinking.
Maybe he'd ask Aizawa for a mental health day.
Grabbing his backpack, Ojiro left his dorm room making sure he had his key before locking it.
He made his way to the elevator and down to the first floor.
Some of his classmates were down there, sitting and eating while chatting.
Ojiro planned on going to school, slipping breakfast yet again for about the twelfth time.
But, his plans changed when a blonde waved him over with his classic smile.
It made his heart melt and Ojiro couldn't say no.
He stood a few feet away from Denki, who was siting at the table next to Sero.
Ojiro smiled and greeted them.
"Hey, how's it going?"
Denki didn't stop smiling.
"Good! I haven't seen you at breakfast for a few days and I was wondering if something was wrong?"
Sero nodded, shoving so much food that Katsuki had prepared into his mouth.
Ojiro rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"No, nothing wrong. I've just not been hungry."
Denki's smile dropped and he looked down.
"Oh.."
Sero put a hand on denki's shoulder, patting lightly.
"Well, make sure to stay healthy my dude."
Ojiro nodded and walked away, out the doors and in the direction of the school building.
His hands gripped at his backpack strap in a frustrated move.
He stopped smiling.
Guilt washed over Ojiro as he walked.
He never thought he would be the cause of Denki not smiling but, there the proof was.
Walking into the school, he made his way to home room.
Aizawa was already there, surprisingly not in a sleeping bag but working.
Ojiro walked up to his desk and waited patiently to be acknowledged.
"What is it that you need?"
Aizawa asked, his voice husk from lack of sleep.
A chill went down Ojiro's spine.
"Uh-Sensei I.."
He paused, bowing.
"I haven't been feeling well and I wanted to know if I could have a mental health day. I will work harder then before once I'm back."
Aizawa looked up at Ojiro, looking him up and down.
Ojiro didn't have his usual posture, his tail looked as if it was being dragged, the bags and dark circles under his eyes indicated he wasn't getting sleep.
"Fine. Since you're here, tomorrow will be your MH day. Take your seat"
"Thank you sir"
Ojiro made his way to his seat.
Aizawa watched Ojiro carefully, pretending to do his grading.
Ojiro was sloched and looked exasperated. It was bad enough that Aizawa showed concern, not just hid it deep, deep, deep, deep down.
~•~•~•~•~
Throughout class, Aizawa continued to paid close attention to Ojiro.
The rest of the class had picked up on it too.
Aizawa would occasionally ask Ojiro how he's doing, looking at him frequently and even letting him sleep a bit when he was done with his paperwork.
Now, Denki knew for sure something was up.
He couldn't deny the hurt in his chest knowing that Ojiro lied to him.
He thought that Ojiro and him were good friends and..then..he lied to Denki?
What kind of friend would do that?
Denki looked over to Sero with a worried expression.
Sero caught denki's eyes and immediately knew how Denki was feeling. Sero and shinso had the amazing ability of knowing exactly how Denki was feeling just by one simple look.
'i'll figure it out'
Sero mouthed to Denki and gave a thumbs up.
Denki tried to smile and turned back to his work.
God, what were they supposed to be doing again?
~•~•~•~•~
A knock placed into denki's dorm room, Denki couldn't find the strength to get up.
He was hurt, badly.
"It's o-open."
His voice shared his pain.
Shinso and Sero walked in, concern on their faces. Shinso walked calmly to the bed, where Denki was sat up sobbing.
Sero closed the door, making sure to lock it in case anyone decides to barge in before joining shinso and Denki on the bed.
They already knew why Denki was this upset, it was clear to them.
Shinso rubbed denki's knee softly with his thumb. He wanted nothing more then to scoop Denki up in his arms, just as much as Sero did but, they also knew through bad experience that Denki didn't like being touched too much when in this state.
It made him feel overwhelmed.
Too much attention while sobbing as always overwhelmed Denki more then he already was.
"Denk I know it hurts but come on baby."
Shinso whispered, feeling tears press against his eyes as well.
"All you need to do is talk."
Denki bit his lip hard, taking out the pain in his chest on his physical body.
Sero caught on and drew denki's lip out of his teeth with his thumb.
"It's okay Denki. You don't need to do anything like that."
Sero comforted as best he could.
"I thought..I thought we were friends.."
Denki sobbed, chocking on air.
His hand reached up and grabbed his shirt roughly. His head went down as tears consumed him.
Out of reflex shinso jumped to wrap his arms around Denki.
Denki sobbed, his body shaking as he lowered further to the bed. That's when he realized someone was holding him.
Someone was giving him far too .uch contact right now.
"No no"
He panicked, trying to move away from Shinso.
"S-Stop, no.."
Shinso's eyes widened and he quickly backed off.
"Sorry Denk. I..it was habit."
Denki pushed himself as far away from them as possible. Of course they didn't take it personally. They knew Denki didn't mean it that way, he was just hurting.
Denki's hand dove into his hair and he pulled, squeezed.
"I can't. I c-can-can't."
He repeated over and over.
Shinso and Sero frowned their eyebrows and looked at each other. They knew there wasn't anything they could do without hurting Denki more but at the same time..they wanted to help.
Sero grabbed shinso's hand and held it with a firm grip.
Shinso squeezed and turned back to Denki.
His breathing had calmed down and he had let go of his hair.
Which, in their books was a win.
"S-Sero..Shinso..?"
Denki called, not wanting to open his eyes. After every one of his attacks he feared that they'd leave.
"We're never leaving hun."
Sero said.
"Can we come closer now?"
They didn't get a vocal response but, a head nod.
Shinso and Sero left out a breath of relief and moved closer to Denki. Not too close, for precaution, but closer.
Shinso went back to rubbing denki's knee with his thumb softly, ever once looking away from Denki.
Denki held out each of his hands, waiting for them to grab them.
Sero and shinso grabbed denki's hands and held them tightly.
They hated seeing Denki like that, mostly for the reason that they weren't able to help much until it was over.
"I..I want him.."
Denki said, still not opening his eyes.
"We know."
Shinso and Sero said at the same time.
They looked at each other and smiled.
"We'll work it out some how"
~•~•~•~•~
Ojiro picked at his food, barely eating any of it. He knew he probably should have tried to eat a little more but couldn't force himself too.
Not when his heart hurting again being torn in two.
Across the table, sat the love of his life and his boyfriends.
Ojiro pulled smiles (believably I might add) forced laughs and tried to hold a conversation as well as he could but it didn't go that way.
Denki, Sero and shinso were off in their little world's where they were all that mattered to one another.
Seeing them so freely express their love made Ojiro's neck ache. Then, Denki pushed himself up a bit and kissed shinso for a moment before doing the same to Sero. Ojiro couldn't help the longing feeling to be kissed by them.
Them...
Ojiro coughed and stood.
"Sorry but..I have some studying to do before the next class."
Ojiro faked an excuse.
"Wait.."
Denki stopped him.
"You've barely eaten anything"
Shinso pointed out, looking at Ojiro's plate.
"Sit back down."
The demanding tone sent chills down Ojiro's spine
"I really hav-"
"Dude, it's not healthy. Sit down and eat."
Sero said, giving Ojiro a stern voice.
Ojiro looked down to his food then back up. He sat down.
He still picked at his food, but eat a little bit more every now and then.
"Ojiro"
Shinso called making Ojiro look up.
"Why is it that you've been eating less?"
Ojiro gulped and looked to the side and down.
"Is it because of your weight?"
Shinso asked, confusion in his tone.
Ojiro still said nothing.
What could he say?
"Ojiro."
Sero called. Ojiro didn't look up. He was far too busy counting the tiles.
"Ojiro."
Sero called again.
Suddenly, a hand came into view on the table.
Ojiro followed it and found three worried looking boys.
"Why?"
"I just don't get that hungry anymore"
Ojiro told them, picking at his food more.
"Bullcrap."
Shinso said harshly.
"The truth."
"Please?"
Denki asked, his voice getting higher.
Ojiro sighed and grabbed his plate.
"I should be going."
They didn't try to fight him again. There really wasn't any use, Ojiro wouldn't have turned back. They were pushing him.
Ojiro threw away his food and walked into the halls, staring at the tiles as he walked on them. His mind was racing.
They....
What did he mean by that?
He didn't know what to make of those thoughts. He's never had them before.
But back at the table, his chest hurt for all of them. Not just Denki.
When Denki kissed shinso, Ojiro wished he could have as well. And when Denki kissed Sero, god the thoughts that Ojiro had. He wanted to express his love freely just like them.
No, they have it going good. Their all happy. I can't mess that-
"Ugh"
Ojiro grabbed his nose, he looked up and saw a white tall wall.
Suddenly he felt warmth rushing over his hand and looked at it. Red.
"Damn it"
He cursed turning around.
The halls looked unfamiliar.
Where had he walked off to?
The bell had most likely already rung and he had no clue where he was.
Ojiro tried his best to get to his floor but, no matter the turns and the twist he couldn't find the stairs.
Sighing Ojiro looked behind himself. A blood trail.
"Damn it"
Who knew crashing face first into a pure concrete wall would give you a bloody nose?
Now he did.
Ojiro knew there was no point in trying to clean up the blood when he was still bleeding so he continued walking, trying to find his way.
Suddenly after turning a corner we was face to face with Shinso, who had been following the blood trail. He didn't know, someone could have been seriously hurt!
"Ojiro? What happened?"
Shinso asked, pulling Ojiro's hand away from his nose. There was a bloody mess.
"I ran into a wall."
Ojiro explained, laughing lightly. How stupid that sounded.
"Stop laughing."
Shinso told him in a stern voice.
"This is no where funny. You're bleeding "
Ojiro nodded and put his hand back up to his nose to try and stop the blood a little.
Shinso grabbed his other hand and began basically dragging Ojiro with him down the stairs.
"What were you even doing in the hero support?"
Shinso asked looking back at Ojiro.
So that's where this was.
"I...don't know."
Shinso took Ojiro to his floor and helped him clean up his face before giving him a paper towel for when it bleeds again.
Shinso also walked Ojiro to his classroom and waited until he was seated to leave.
Shinso rolled his eyes and walked back to the stairs.
~•~•~•~•~
Now, Ojiro sat on his bed. He wasn't crying like usual, just silently freaking out. He didn't know what to do about all of his thoughts.
His let out a breath and plopped down on his bed. His hands went up to his hair in a frustrated way.
What was he supposed to do!?
He just found out that not only does he like Denki, but also his boyfriends??
God what a messed up love life he has.
It was far past the usual time for everyone to be in their dorms, almost four in the morning.
Ojiro was restless. He tried to sleep, he failed. Multiple times.
He couldn't stand himself in this moment. He wasn't supposed to fall for Denki, not shinso or Sero. And yet, what did he do? He fell anyway!
Ojiro closed his eyes and took in a breath trying to calm down.
Tomorrow will be a better day.