I continue staring at the ceiling with my mouth slightly agape, thinking about what Derek just did to me.
He lays next to me and he pulls the blanket over us.
"Did you enjoy it?" he asks despite seeing me come and the way he made me feel. Isn't it obvious?
I look at him and I smile, I give him a quick peck on the lips.
"You are way too good at it," I admit a bit jealous. Where did he learn all of this?!
"Are you jealous?" he whispers in my ear and I roll my eyes.
"No, you are here with me," I say as I search for his hand under the blanket and I hold it.
He sits up and supports himself with his elbows as he stares at me.
"Why are you staring?" I ask him without breaking eye contact and he smiles.
"I'm glad you are here," he mutters and I notice a hint of sadness in his voice.
"And I mean that you are alive," he says and I break eye contact.
"Promise me that you won't do cocaine anymore. You need to stop," he says and I continue staring at the ceiling.
"Promise me, Veronica, please," he begs me and I finally look at him. His eyes are slightly glossy and I feel an emotion I never felt before.
I don't dare to think about it but it's a weird feeling, I just know I want to be with him forever, I feel it with all my soul and my mind, I want to be with Derek, and the sole thought of losing him makes my heart sink to my stomach.
It's crazy how much Derek changed me, months ago I would have just left if someone told me this.
How much I changed in a year.
"I promise," I say while I caress his face with my hand.
~
I cleaned up myself and I fell asleep cuddled up to him. The hardest thing is leaving his bed the next morning.
I want to stay here forever.
He puts on a shirt and I pout, I want to see more of him.
Derek comes to me and he kisses my forehead, he makes us a coffee and I drink it while staring at him.
I can't take my eyes off him. I sip from the coffee and he smiles. I also look around the apartment, it's small but nice. I'm glad he doesn't live with Shanice anymore, it's for the best.
Because I'm jealous.
"I have so many questions..." I mutter and he looks at me, finishing the coffee.
"If you ask a question, you will also have to answer one," he says and I roll my eyes playfully.
"I'll take that risk," I say bravely, but nervous if he asks me something related to my trauma. "Why didn't you make it to rehab?"
"I was on the way there until Felix stopped me. I had to go with him because he always threatens me and it's either that or..." he explains and I flinch when I hear Felix's name. I'm so tired of that man.
He notices when I flinch and he puts his hand on my arm.
"It's gonna be ok. Don't worry," he says and I swallow the knot in my throat.
I still have so many other questions and I don't have that many answers to give.
"Now my turn," he says and smirks.
"What did you do in rehab?" He questions me in such an innocent way, I smile.
I didn't expect this question.
"Oh... it was boring at first, then I met a very weird girl and I helped her escape and that's why I was supposed to meet you but you took too long and I got caught. I got one more month in therapy," I explain and he frowns.
"I'm really sorry, Ronnie, you have no idea how much I wanted to see you. I truly thought you hated me and blamed me for-" he explains and I cut him off before he says that word...
"It's okay. It was for the best, I guess- I didn't do much in rehab, just a lot of therapy and isolation," I joke and he laughs but he still seems concerned.
Then I also remember that boy who left me his number and I ripped it apart, I did it because of Derek.
"Thank you for punching that guy at the bar," I tease him and he laughs.
"You are welcome, he was being a dick," he says and I nod.
The only problem is that I slept with him in the past. He knows about this from months ago but I'm not sure he knows it was exactly that guy.
"I slept with him, many months ago." I gather the courage to speak but I want to be honest with him, at least about things that don't make me extremely uncomfortable.
"I don't care about the past," he reassures me and I smile.
He comes closer to me and I patiently wait.
"And perhaps, I will make you mine countless times," he whispers in my ear.
~
I thought my mom was going to be mad but she believed me when I said I slept at Nicole's house.
I am taking a cab to Dominic's apartment, I have to talk to him.
Thirty minutes later I'm at his apartment and he is waiting for me at the door. He pulls me in for a quick hug and we get inside.
We sit on the couch and I grab the remote but Dominic stops me.
"First the tea," he says and I frown.
"What tea?"
"You and Derek," he says, and my cheeks flare up.
"I knew it!" he yells and I push him off the couch while he pretends to get hurt.
"Nothing happened..." I say and he laughs.
"You would have said 'what are you talking about' if that was true, come on, Ronnie," he teases me and I give in, I guess I trust Dominic enough to tell him.
I tell him everything, except for Derek going... down on me.
That was so... oh my God.
"Veronica?" Dominic says pulling me out of my thoughts.
"So he punched that guy you slept with?" he asks and I mutter yes.
"Then you had sex," he exclaims and I choke on my saliva. I didn't tell him that.
"No. We didn't," I say thinking back to how I basically begged Derek to fuck me.
"I don't believe you. You look different," he says while looking me up and down, which makes me more flustered.
"We kissed."
"And...?" he continues and I shove him off the couch, again.
"I won't insist but-" Dominic tries to get back on the couch.
"Shut up," I yell at him and I playfully shove him again.
We stand up to get some food and I sit at the table while Dominic makes some instant ramen. This is all he eats every day but I guess it's normal for college students who live alone. I wonder what his parents do.
"I knew he liked you when he beat James' ass because he tried to take advantage of you," he explains and I choke on the ramen, which isn't very enjoyable.
Dominic is a terrible cook, it's not that hard to make instant noodles.
"He liked me back then?" I ask uncertainly. I can't recall when I started liking him... I always felt drawn to him but I hated that.
I know for sure when he kissed me the first time I never wanted to let go.
"Ronnie. It was so obvious, he didn't even try to hide it," he says teasing me and I scoff.
It wasn't that obvious. He played it off as 'I help everyone', but then he embraced me after...
~
I close Dominic's main door and I begin walking towards my house, it's barely seven pm. I told my mom I'm coming home soon, she is trusting me again and I'm infinitely grateful for that.
I'm almost home when I see James' car parked on the other side of my street and he is waiting near it.
I stop for a few seconds and I also see a girl sitting in the car, James sees me, and my blood freezes in my veins by the way he looks at me.
He points to the girl in the car and she gets out of it. I recognize her by the high heels she wears.
Olivia.
I walk towards my house trying to ignore them but I know they must be here for me, they immediately sprint towards me as I am on my porch.
"They let you out of rehab that fast?" Olivia mocks me and James joins her.
James comes towards me and I take a step backward, finding my back against the main door.
My mom is at work.
He traps me with both arms and he laughs annoyed while Olivia is looking at us.
"I don't want to waste time," he says through gritted teeth and I look at him terrified. I have no idea what I did to him this time but I know he has no morals.
"Because of you, Nicole is done with me and she is fucking your stupid little friend," he yells and smashes the door near my ear, making me wince.
What is he talking about?! Is Nicole dating Louis?
"I've been gone for two months!" I try to calm myself down and he laughs.
"Sure, you know damn well you put those thoughts in her mind."
"Listen very carefully Ronnie, you are going to do as I say or I will share a very interesting information to the police," he says while caressing my hair and I look at Olivia. She seems amused by this situation.
"W- what do you mean?" I stutter and he shrugs.
"Derek will get enough prison time to forget about you, and maybe then we can also have some fun together." He winks and looks at Olivia.
"A threesome with anyone but her." She laughs and I roll my eyes.
"Prison?" I ask unsure to make sure I heard him correctly.
"I found out the stuff he used to do, and still does. I'm gonna keep it to myself if Nicole comes back to me and-" I cut him off.
"Ha! Now you care about Nicole?" I mock him and his expression shifts while Olivia chuckles.
"She is mine," he spits and I look into his eyes, he looks insane. This guy is completely insane.
"Nicole isn't an object," I say through gritted teeth and he laughs.
"She is," she says and my eyes widen. What the fuck is he on?
"I also have a condition," Olivia says and James turns to her.
"You stop talking to Derek. I really like him- I mean, he is hot," she says and my brain can't process her words. Is she stupid?
"I don't want you anywhere near him, or I'll go to the police myself. I'm pretty sure he likes me too," she says and I frown, thinking they are crazy. These people are out of their minds.
"No," I mutter and they laugh.
James pins me against the door harder and I wince.
"You listen to both of us," he spits and I nod because he is hurting me.
Fuck. I need to tell Derek everything. I can't trust them, they will always threaten me with something. I don't want Nicole to keep getting abused by him because I told her to go back.
I even doubt she will listen to me if she is dating Louis, which will put Derek in danger anyway.
James implied Derek still sells drugs- no, it can't be true. He wouldn't lie to me.
They finally leave me alone and I sit on the steps thinking about what I should do.
I search for the phone in my purse and I dial Derek.