Chapter 45
Grace’s POV
“Well? Why didn’t you tell me? Huh? This is unacceptable. You basically lied to me! How can I trust you when you don’t tell me things?” Harry’s voice boomed through the phone.
“I didn’t do anything Harry!” I practically screamed.
“Oh my god Grace. You’re dropping out of both of those classes.” He threatened.
Who does he think he is? My father? Well he’s not. This overprotective mess has to stop.
“Um…I am not dropping out of my classes. I didn’t tell you because nothing went wrong. Yes, he did look at me for a brief moment but that’s all. He didn’t do anything and I am not…I repeat, I am not dropping his classes.”
He was silent for a moment long enough for me to get anxious.
“Then I’m not coming home tonight. What about that? Huh?”
“What do you mean, you’re not coming home?”
“I mean exactly that.”
I sighed, kicking the wooden table and stubbing my toe. I shrieked.
“What was that? What happened?” he asked.
“I stubbed my toe. You’re not really considering not coming home, are you? You have to come home.”
“I will if you drop.”
“See you in the morning then.” I painfully said.
I wanted more than anything to give into him but I wouldn’t let Harry run my entire life. I couldn’t. He was treating me like a prisoner. I could hear loud voices and laughs from Harry’s end of the phone.
“Where are you?”
“Don’t do this Grace. Just drop his class. Please.”
“No! You don’t do this. We fight all the time now because you are being an insecure, suffocating, overprotective, possessive ass.”
With that, I hung up and powered off my phone. I cried into Harry’s pillow, his piney scent filling my senses. I’d never said anything like that to Harry and even though I felt extremely guilty, part of me felt relieved. Ever since New York he’s gotten so much weirder. I feel like I’m always on eggshells around him and I have to ask permission for every little thing I do. I can’t even wear the shorts I want to wear without him getting all weird. He doesn’t trust me. Yes, he loves me but he doesn’t receive love as well as he gives it. That’s exactly what it comes down to; Harry doesn’t know how to let me love him.
I sobbed on our bed for nearly two hours and when I finally realized he wasn’t coming home, I climbed under the sheets and wrapped my arms around his pillow until I fell asleep. Can we make it through this life together the way it’s going? Can we make it?
………………
I jerked awake, the sound of breaking glass filling my ears. I pressed my back against the headboard. Did I lock the door? No, I don’t think I did. I had my phone in my hand ready to call for help. The banging around continued, feet shuffling around on the floor. I bit my lip as a dark figure appeared in the doorway. I started to call when Harry stepped into the room. I let out a sigh of relief but tears sprung to my eyes when I got a good look at him. I flicked on the lamp, dimly lighting our bedroom. My tears fell down my face.
“No! Why did you do it? You promised me!”
He looked at me blankly, his eyes bloodshot. He had a bruise under his eye and a small cut on his bottom lip. I had no respect for him when he was like this. I couldn’t watch him. It brought back so many painful memories from the beginning of our relationship. I was constantly going to save him. He needs professional help. He can’t just go get drunk every time life gets hard.
I rolled around in bed, my back to him.
“Get out.” I said, my voice low.
“Grace, come o-on nnoww.” His voice slurred.
A tear slipped down my cheek and I sniffled. This wasn’t my Harry. I didn’t even want this Harry. Yes, I loved him more than life itself but I didn’t want this Harry.
“I said get out.” I whispered.
Harry’s POV
“No! No! Don’t leave me! Please don’t!”
She kept shoving things into her bag, going into the bathroom to retrieve her toothbrush. She was leaving me.
“Goodbye Harry!”
“No! No! Don’t go! Please! Grace!” I screamed.
I jerked awake by someone shaking my body. My heart was racing and I was sure this is what a heart attack felt like. Grace was there, leaning over me. It was only a dream and she had woken me from hell.
“You were gone. You left me.” I cried, tears falling down my cheeks.
“I didn’t leave you. I’m right here.” She said, soothing me.
Her fingers stroked my hair and placed a cool washcloth over my sweaty forehead. I was on the couch and my head was throbbing. She didn’t leave me but she did tell me to leave. Why did I do it? I was so mad and all I can remember is drinking and drinking until I picked a fight with somebody. I went into that bar after I got off the phone with Grace. I suck at being a boyfriend. I’m not cut out for any of this but I am too selfish to leave now that I know what I’ve got.
I wrapped my arms around her tightly, bringing her on top of my body. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
“I have to go to school.”
I broke her heart. I knew I did. She looked so fragile. She looked like she used to look when I would get drunk all the time. I had a hard time looking into her eyes. She pulled away from me and went into our bedroom. I broke her heart. I made breakfast for her but she barely ate anything before she left.
On her break, she didn’t call and she didn’t come by the café but I didn’t blow up her phone. I knew me being overly protective would only make things worse. Anything I would do would make things worse. I’m a screw up.
……………….
It had been a week and she’d barely talked to me. When we had sex, she barely kissed me and afterwards, she didn’t stay in bed with me like usual. She went to the bathroom, took a shower, and got dressed. It was our first day off together in a long time. It was Saturday but it didn’t matter. It’s like even looking at me was hard for her. After a week of her speaking to me only when she had to, I knew today wouldn’t be the day. She was disappointed in me. I was disappointed in me. I’d apologized but it didn’t work. Nothing worked. My apology was sincere but it didn’t make a difference. She sat there watching me as I cried and then got up and walked out the door. She was spending a lot of her free time with Sammy now that she was here. Today, Grace laid on the couch, flipping through TV channels. She was curled into a ball and I wanted to hold her. I know I fucked up but this is getting a little old. It’s my own fault. I know that. I don’t know if I could handle Grace putting me through the things I have put her through. It’s not fair to her. I have to get my shit together. It’s going to take more than a lousy apology. I walked into our room and crashed on the bed, pulling my phone out. It had been a long time since I’d dialed this number.
“Dr. Rollins office, this is Linda. How may I help you?”
“I’d like to speak with Dr. Rollins.”
“Do you have an appointment by phone sir?”
“Linda, its Harry and I really need to speak to her right now.”
“Harry? Oh, hold for a moment.”
My call was transferred and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Harry? Is that really you? I haven’t heard from you in…”
“I know it’s been a long time.”
I closed my eyes. Her voice was so calming. I got up and closed our bedroom door before laying back down on the bed.
“I’m screwing up my life.”
“Don’t say that. Your mum seems to think you are doing extremely well. She says you’re living with your girlfriend in New York. She seems to think it’s pretty serious.”
“It’s…she’s…I’m in love with her. She is everything to me but I need some guidance. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I’m hurting her…emotionally and I can’t help it. It’s like it comes naturally. A few nights ago, I went to a bar.”
“Harry.” She whispered, scolding me.
“We were having a fight. I’m too protective and it’s suffocating her. I don’t know how to stop. I feel like I can’t stop. Ever since…my father had that gun pointed...oh god. I can’t lose her.”
I was crying now, utterly broken.
“Harry…we can’t do this over the phone. I’m on the next flight out. Linda, please book the next flight to New York please.”
“Dr. Rollins? You’re going to come to New York for me? What about your other clients?”
“Reschedule my appointments tomorrow.” She said, obviously talking to Linda.
“Harry you need to realize that people love you unconditionally. If you need me, I’m there. The clients I have for tomorrow, they’ll understand. You need me and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”
“But…”
“It’s okay Harry. You know you’ve always been more than my client. I need to meet this girlfriend of yours too. I knew you would eventually find someone that would force you to settle down.”
“She’s everything to me. I want to be good for her. I need to be good for her. I’m going to marry this girl.”
“What?” Dr. Rollins asked.
“Not now…but someday…I’m going to marry her.”
A/N
Please help me make this story grow by voting. I would love for you all to comment! I'm in love with Harry btw and his gold shoes are killing me. You are all beautiful lovlies!
Faith <3