(over 4k words... i don't like this chapter but it's SO important.. see if you can spot the mistake before angel does teehee 😁😁😁😁😁 also vote pls)
I thought that John F Kennedy airport was busy when I landed the first time but its even busier on Friday evening. I certainly haven't missed the smell of New York and it makes me wanna vomit. I find the way to the right subway station so I could get back to my apartment easier than getting a taxi or Uber.
The meal with Sarah, my dads girlfriend, went amazing, she's so lovely and my dad was acting like a teen in love. It was great to see him finally looking happy with someone after being alone for so many years.
My dad and I spent the next day going on a long walk together on the beach with Thor and then visited the butterfly sanctuary. I used to go almost every weekend with my mum so it was amazing to see a plaque with her name in memoriam. I explained to my dad how I might be joining Billie on tour and he was happy for me, I mean its a once in a lifetime opportunity that I'm blessed to have.
I spent the last night ordering a bunch of clothes to send to my apartment in NY, watching James Bond with my dad and going to visit my mums grave. Every time I say goodbye it doesn't make it any easier but I know I can always talk to her.
I miss you mum.
I walk down the hall to my apartment with my suitcase dragging behind me and I can't wait to go to bed. I didn't let Cara know when I landed so I wasn't expecting to see her on top of someone on the couch when I walked in but here I am.
I had slammed the door shut and she looked up, and screamed and i covered my eyes, not wanting to see her in her underwear. "carry on i'm leaving" I shouted turning around and walking out of the apartment to get myself away from the awkwardness. I walk back down the hallway and pull out my phone and call Lisa.
FUCK MY LIFE.
There's no way I'm going back upstairs.
"Hello Angel"
"Uh, hi Lisa? Are you in your office? I wanna come see you"
"No! Don't come here, can I come to your apartment?"
"Not unless you wanna watch my roommate get railed"
Lisa chokes on her spit and I laugh, pressing the lift button to send me back downstairs. "Why cant I come to the office?"
"Someone figured out where our offices are and theres a car outside we think is paparazzi looking for you, taking photos of everyone"
"Fuck" I mutter under my breath, running my fingers through my hair, they don't know what I look like but theres too much of a risk. "Ill come pick you up, stay there" Lisa ends the call before I can reply and I groan throwing my head back. Without thinking I pull out my phone and text billie, which I always so when I'm freaking out about something.
billie
stood in the middle of the street
I just walked in on Cara getting
fucked on the couch and theres
paparazzi outside the office
trying to find out who I am
kill me now
I shut my phone off and lean against the railing beside my apartment, glancing around. it wasn't long before I saw the familiar car pull up down the street and I walk over, climbing in.
"Welcome back" Lisa smiles, pulling away before I can even get my seatbelt on.
"Why we in such a rush?"
"I've booked us an office and they just managed to squeeze us in, we need to get this contract sorted as soon as possible so I can confirm things with Mike"
I rest my head on the back of the seat and watch the traffic, biting at the nail on my thumb. I've got to prepare myself for LA and potentially going on tour. Not to mention revealing myself to Billie.
I pull my phone out of my coat pocket and see a two word text that makes me scream and drop my phone on the floor. "What?" Lisa asks in alarm, taking her eyes off the road to glance at my panicked state.
SHE KNOWS
"Nothing" I don't bother picking my phone up, feeling like the text message is gonna go away if I just ignore it.
Lisa thankfully doesn't question it anymore and pulls up outside a big building and I look up, seeing it tower over me. i walk up to the front desk with her and theres a ton of men in suits and women with blazers and heels running around looking crazy.
And I'm stood here in an oversized tee and baggy jeans.
"Hi I just phoned and booked and office, under Brooks"
The receptionist looks down at the computer and nods "yes, room 305, ill just need to see some ID" Lisa hands over her ID and she nods, handing over the key.
I follow Lisa into the elevator and rest me head against the wall, taking a deep breath.
Shall I cancel the contract and move back to the uk?
I could block Billie on everything and make sure I never see her when she comes to visit Cara?
Or ignore her messages until I get to LA and just meet up with Finneas?
I could wear a disguise?
I never wanted her to find out like this, why don't I just-
The elevator door pings open and I brings me out my thoughts and Lisa is glancing at me with a weird look. "Do I have something on my face?"
She shrugs "no, you look different but I can't put my finger on it" I roll my eyes and walk out the elevator, walking over to the wall sings so I can see which way the right room is. i point which direction and I follow behind her, knowing she has the key to get inside. The room is as boring as any other office, a large round table in the middle with a bunch of chairs, a random tissue box and a bunch of pens in the centre of the table and no decor or plants in the room.
How depressing.
"Right theres a lot we need to get through" Lisa opens up the file which she pulled out her handbag along with her laptop. "I spoke to Mike and discussed a few things, made a few changes which I think will benefit everyone"
I nod my head, grabbing a pen from the pot and stealing a sheet of her paper so I can doodle and brainstorm while she's talking.
"The main thing is mike has said you, Billie and Finneas can travel wherever necessary as long as it doesn't interfere with their plans or schedule which I have here" she hands me a few sheets of paper and its full of tables with a few boxes filled with meetings, shows and shoots already booked. "The only condition is that you join them for the American leg of the tour and potentially the full world tour, depending on how quickly you get the work done. He wants you, along with Billie and Finneas to come up with a music video but he's made it important that all of your input is needed"
"They've literally been working years, they know what they're doing. I don't"
"Everything on this tour and while were in LA is going to be a learning experience, you're gonna meet people, go places and find out things about the industry you have no idea about"
"I get it. I just feel like I'm about to jump into the deep end as soon as I get there and that's so much pressure"
"Don't worry. There isn't a time limit for the album and they've already been working on stuff. for the first couple weeks you're probably just gonna hang out, get to know each other and how you work in person, maybe play with a few bits. The most important thing is production, and although Finneas does most of it, you'll probably have input too"
"Am I going to have to meet them as soon as I get to LA?"
"Well, the night we arrive, Billie is performing so we could always go and see her backstage because she'll be tired and it'll be brief. If you go the day after, she's gonna wanna spend all day with you and that might be overwhelming"
"You do realise she's already met me before, right?"
"But she hasn't met Angel"
and I'm too scared for her to meet Angel.
"What else"
"Okay, theres obviously and NDA you're gonna have to sign, confirming anything regarding the music, things you talk about, things you see or do that doesn't involve the public is kept a secret. I have to sign one too"
Over the next hour Lisa and I go through the NDA and contract, point by point and eventually I sign it, taking a copy of it with me so I can remember everything. Because I'm going to be working with them, any travelling I do with them will be paid for by Billie and her team, along with getting paid for being 'staff' on her tour.
I wasn't particularly thrilled about having everything paid for but mike said his team and Billie agreed it was one of the most important.
Lisa offered to take me out for food afterwards but I declined, complaint that jet lag was getting to me.
She doesn't need to know the truth.
I get back to my apartment and instead of walking in, I knock on the door, especially because I didn't want to walk in on any live action porn or the fact I hadn't touched my phone since I threw it in the bottom of my bag so I didn't let Cara know beforehand.
Cara answers the door and smiles in a silk robe with wet hair, holding out a twenty dollar bill. "Oh hi sorry I've ordered some pizza" she steps to the side and I follow her in realising she was alone. "I'm so sorry for what you saw earlier" Cara says, a blush creeping to her cheeks.
Why is she embarrassed?
"Don't worry about it, come here" I open up my arms and she hugs me back. "Ive missed you" she mutters into my hair, squeezing me before pulling away. "Good timing by the way, I've just ordered pizza oh and I've had a text from Billie"
"I don't wanna talk about it" I groan, throwing myself down on the couch. Cara joins me and I look over to her and smirk "go on, tell me about lover boy" she smiles and looks down, playing with the tie of her robe. "It's Brad from the club, we've been spending some time together and he's nice and yeah"
"I'm happy for you! But you better not fuck every night while I'm here or there will be trouble" I squint and she laughs "you're gonna be gone on tour and in LA! At least I've got me some company"
"I'm so scared"
"Talk to me about it" she smiles but theres a knock at the door interrupting us and she answers the door and comes back with two pizza boxes. "I got your favourite" she hands me a box and I open it, my favourite pizza right in front of me.
Guess I'll have to take a trip to the bathroom later.
"Thank you!" I pull out a slice and take bite, moaning at the taste. "So what did Billie say?" I asked her and she smirks, "well I haven't replied but she just texted me saying 'is gabby at your apartment? I need to talk to her' so why?"
"Well she didn't know and Finneas found out the night we went to the club and then today I left the apartment and without thinking I messaged Billie and said your name and she sent me a text saying 'wait... gabby?' and I haven't touched my phone since because I'm scared because she knows"
"so now she knows and she's already met you"
"I'm just avoiding it until I have to go to LA in two days"
"So you're not gonna text her even though you literally talk all day everyday? She's gonna be going crazy"
"I know car but-"
"Stop overthinking it, get your phone out" Cara holds her hands out and I groan, grabbing it out of my bag and glancing at the notifications. I know Billie is nosey but she hasn't said anything since my first text.... She's probably scared that I know she knows.
Cara takes my phone and starts tapping away before pulling out my camera. "Woah what are you doing?"
"We're sending her a selfie come on"
"I look like shit"
"you're gonna see her literally everyday for the next few months, I'm sure she's gonna see worse. You look fine, stop worrying"
If only it was that easy.
Cara scoots closer to me and I pull out a slice of pizza, pretending to take a bite but mostly using it to cover my face. "This is the best you're gonna get" she takes the photo and before I can look, she sends it.
"oh your magazine interview is out?" Cara ends me my phone back and click on the link. "yeah I had a phone call interview with rich bitch magazine"
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE MYSTERIOUS ANGEL MONARCH
Angel Monarch is an internet sensation. At only twenty two, she's the name on everyones talking about. She's a mystery to everyone and fans are dying to figure out the person behind the name. A best selling poetry book, collaborating with Finneas O'Connell and Billie Eilish to write the number one single 'yesterday', millions of followers on Instagram and Twitter, thousands of fans rocking her merchandise. But we don't know much about the real Angel.
The question everyones been asking; who is Angel monarch?
I was lucky enough to have a phone call and ask her the questions her fans have been dying to find out the answers of.
Her online presence and books have been noticed but many celebrities including Lana Del Rey, Zendaya, Ariana Grande as well as the famous actor Harrison Daniels. She's listening to a Johnny Mathis record when she answers the phone. "Music is a big inspiration for writing poetry, like I could be sat in the middle of a field or sat on the couch and a song could spark lines"
I asked Angel how she writes her music, and with an interruption from someone in the background, she laughs. "Honestly it comes at weird times in my day, sometimes I could be in the shower, eating food, talking with my dad or literally on the toilet. Sometimes its lines, sometimes its whole poems or just an idea. I have like a million thoughts so I have to be patient when writing what I do"
I asked angel what we could be expecting in the future and she explains she's working on the most personal book she's ever published. "Ive been writing poetry since I started going to therapy when my mum died, I've got years worth of writing but most of the time it's always been from a different perspective, this time its coming from me"
Angel explained to me her mother passed away from cancer when she was just thirteen. "It was so hard" she mutters, sounding like she was crying. "I had to grow up a lot. I am blessed that I had the best dad and he tried to do everything but I had to teach myself how to plait my hair and put in a tampon because I didn't have my mother to do stuff like that with me."
I asked angel if her mother was the reason for her poetry and she agreed. "One hundred percent, she is the reason for my name, the reason I pushed to keep writing at the beginning. I remember after all my hard work and publishing my first book, it wasn't selling and I was crushed. My mums favourite thing has always been a butterfly and every time I need her, she's there so I kept hoping and well.. here I am"
"She always called me her little Angel" she explained when I asked the reasoning behind her name. "My mum always used to take me to the Butterly gardens and they've always been part of my life. I remember when I was a kid and me and my mum bought some caterpillars and watched them grow into Monarch butterflies and then we went to the park near my house and let them free"
Angel said she doesn't want to reveal herself, well not anytime soon. "The internet is a cruel place. I'm not what people think I am, I don't look like the celebrities or models people compare me too. A lot of people who know me in real life think I should reveal myself but it's been so long" she takes a deep breath to compose herself, getting worked up talking about the internet. "I don't want peoples opinions of my work to change just because they don't like the author behind the writing. Maybe one day I'll reveal myself but for now, only close friends and family know"
I asked Angel how it was like working with Finneas and Billie on the song. "It was incredible. I've been a big fan of them for years" Angel told me she went to see Billie Eilish in 2018. "At first I was so scared but they're the nicest people I've ever met. They worked with me even though I didn't want to reveal myself, we had a lot of ideas and spoke all the time"
"Finneas knows who I am and so does their mother but that happened by accident" Angel told me they were working in separate offices and Maggie (the siblings brother) brought in my coffee without even thinking, accidentally walking in and finding out what she looked like.
Monarch explained that something traumatic happened on a night out while celebrating with her roommate after the book release and Finneas picked her up. "It's not something i'm ready to talk about but yeah I met Finneas, he was really good about it especially because I was a mess" Angel got upset talking about this, explains it wasn't the first time it happened and she knows a lot of her friends have experienced similar situations. "I'm grateful Finneas was there"
Monarch lives in New York but is originally from the uk. "Growing up in the UK was so weird. I didn't really have many friends but as a teen, the normal thing was to get drunk, sleep with boys, do drugs, wear a lot of makeup and that wasn't me" she explained she cut off a lot of her friends off after school, not wanting to get involved with that. "I was never really good at my studies and I've been blessed to have a dad who doesn't care what I do as long as I'm happy"
"Ive struggled a lot with mental health issues" Angel explained, briefly explains she battles on the daily with an eating disorder. "Im not skinny. I used to get praised when I lost weight and it pushed me to keep going, even if I was skipping meals, taking diet pills and wearing baggy clothes to cover up what I was really doing"
Growing up as a teen she explained it was hard to express her emotions to anyone and hid behind a smile and fake excuses. "My dad gave me everything and more so I felt so guilty I started self harming and abusing my body" I asked Angel if she still did " its hard. The first time I cut myself I was like twelve and its been a battle up until recently. I don't cut myself but the scars are still there, you know? a constant reminder I fought hard to be where I am"
Angel looks for the positive in everything. "Therapy has helped a lot, I used to be so pessimistic about everything but now I'm literally the complete opposite. I have amazing people around me and I have so much to look forward too"
I asked Angel about her relationship with the world famous Billie Eilish. "She's like my best friend. It's crazy to me that she's a fan, like bro I used to obsessed with you and now we talk all day, every day, like that's crazy to me"
I had the opportunity to speak to Billie about Angel over FaceTime and she was so happy to answer any questions. Billie was led on her bed and showed me the shirt she was wearing, which was a piece of Angels merchandise due to drop next month.
Eilish explained they were really close and spoke every day. "We started talking because we were working together but now she's my best friend" I asked Billie if she'd met Angel in person and she shook her head and smirked "I will soon" before laughing and shaking her head. "Since the beginning she's loved teasing me and I feel like I'm so close to figuring it out but honestly if she wanted to remain anonymous I would respect that"
Billie told me they worked on the song together through voice notes, texts, photos and closed doors. "We had a few meetings and we were in this room which was divided with this glass so she could see me but I couldn't see her, it was weird" I asked Eilish if it made her uncomfortable and she shook her head. "Im used to never having privacy, I mean it was more frustrating than anything because she was so close but so far"
I asked Billie if its been hard talking to a faceless name and she nodded her head. "Kinda?" She explained, running her fingers through her hair "I respect her and love her as a person and I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable. She has the kindest heart and I know she puts everyone before herself, she's like my favourite person and ill wait as long as she wants me too"
Finneas walked into the room with some food and Billies eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, eagerly taking the food from her brother. I asked Finneas what was like working with Angel and he joined Billie, pushing the jumping dog off his lap. "She's an incredible writer and she has some insane ideas which we were blessed to hear. I cant wait to- no I cant say that" he cuts himself off, laughing to his sister who panned her phone back to her face, her hand covering her mouth.
"We know what she's working on" Billie tells me, gesturing as to why her brother almost spilled a secret. "I hope that the internet respect her privacy and she can revel herself when she's ready. I wouldn't want her to be outed when she isn't ready and when she does, I hope the internet treats her with kindness"
Billie ended the call after complaining she was hungry and I spoke to Angel, asking her some questions the fans are dying to know the answers of.
Yasmin asked, what are you working on? "Well I can't reveal too much obviously but all imma say is I won't be working in New York"
Tyler asked, are you okay? You haven't been on social media much. Angel sighs and I suspect this answer is hard. "Yes I'm okay, my life was flipped upside down and everything changed so quickly it was just a lot... I went home, spent time with my family and worked on myself but I'm okay! Thank you for asking"
I had a question from Billie Eilish, she asked, you single? Angel laughs loudly and huffs "yes I am single and its going to stay that way. I don't need no-one to make me happy, I got myself"
Sarah asked, are you working with any other celebrities? "I've had a lot of celebrities talk to me about potentially working with them but currently I'm not working with anyone else. There's a ton of people id love to work with in the future if I had the opportunity"
Ruby asks, what things are you going to write about in your new book? "A lot, I've written a lot about myself and my life, I mean I've written poems about a lot of things I've discussed already, you'll just have to look out"
For the last question, it was asked by Layla, and she asked, what's your favourite song at the minute? "Blackbird by the Beatles"
It's been an honour to talk to Angel and gather a little more insight into who she really is. We all cant wait to see what she comes up with next.
- written by Austin from Rich Bitch magazine.