Hazel's POV
I sit alone on the steps of the hospital, waiting. The silent mist falls gently on my cheeks; its breathy kiss stings my cold skin.
Concerning.
Abnormal.
Growths.
I understood very little of what the doctor had said, but as his words played over and over in my mind, this I knew to be true: Gran was sick. Far sicker than any of us had initially realized.
I blink back my tears as my eyes focus on the distant grey horizon. The fog hangs thick in the air. The stillness of the world around settles into my bones, leaving my limbs feeling numb and heavy.
"I'm guessin' it isn't good news," a voice says, waking me from my foggy state. I look up to find Louis hovering above me. I simply shake my head, afraid of the growing lump in my throat and turn my gaze back to the horizon.
He breathes in sharply, removing his uniform cap to ruffle his hair. He doesn't say anything, though. Instead, in a small and quiet gesture, I hear him take a seat beside me.
"They say it's cancer," I say quietly.
"Christ almighty," he mutters.
"My sentiments as well."
"How's she feeling?"
"'Bout as to be expected." I reply. "I think we're all still processing."
He nods at this, twisting his cap in his hands.
"You know, " he says after a few quiet moments, "I'm starting to think maybe Harry's gone and picked the wrong nick name for his bird."
I curiously glance back at him.
In a slow and deep voice, he imitates his best friend, exclaiming, "Oh, Roses! My lovely Roses!"
I instantly snort in laughter.
"Oh good grief, you know about that?" I ask.
"Listen, Harry's a good lad and all, However, I rather think myself a clever man."
"Well if you're so clever," I laugh, "What nickname suits me better?"
He cocks one eyebrow, and with a devilish grin, says, "Lucky."
His sarcastic comment somehow mirrors the absurdity of the whole moment and for some strange reason, I find myself laughing despite all that's gone on.
"I mean think about it," he says. "You've come all this way and within a few short months you've got a star-crossed lover, who might I add, you've turned completely soft, an ill family member, and what else- oh that's right, you've now got a houseguest who's a proper pain in the arse."
"Good heavens," I exclaim, "I think you're right." My laughter grows, but as it swells, my lungs turn on me. Tears begin to stream down my face as I lose my breath and begin to weep.
"Aw, dog gone it Hazel," Louis rushes, wrapping his arm around me. I slowly get ahold of myself, embarrassed by my public display of frustration, anger and sadness in front of the entire hospital. "You're alright, You're alright," he coaxes.
"I'm so out of my depth," I manage to get out in between my blubbering. "I just... I just don't know what I'm doing most of the time and I keep messing everything up and making everything worse and now Gran's genuinely sick and I can't let her down again. I just can't. I can't-"
Louis squeezes my arm as my voice breaks.
"I just- I just don't know what I'm doing anymore."
"Listen here, Hazel. You know what you're doing? You're having a proper cry with your good pal, Louis" He stretches his arms out as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. It causes me to at least slightly chuckle as my tears soak my cheeks.
"I mean listen," he adds, "People come to England for all sorts of things. You've got the sights of London, the beautiful country scenery, and-" he pauses dramatically, "you've got me ready to listen to any problem you got. I mean let's face it, I'm practically an institution round these parts."
"Oh is that so?" I ask with a small laugh, patting away the mascara that's certainly smudged beneath my eyes.
"Most certainly. If you think you're the only one who's gone and lost their head, trust me you got another thing coming."
He leans his shoulder against mine, nudging me ever so slightly.
"In all seriousness," Louis says quietly, "I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay, but I think you and I both know that in this world, things don't always work out that way. But I promise you, Hazel, no matter what happens, you won't go through it alone. Any girl of Harry's has the whole lot of us boys looking out for her as well. You hear me?"
My heart swells and I instinctively reach out to claps his hand in mine. Louis' extension of friendship suddenly makes the world feel less daunting and isolating.
"You know what?" I ask. "I rather think Lucky is a fine name. You're a real treasure, Louis."
"You're alright is what you are," he replies gently. He gives me a little smile before looking down at his feet and then out at the sky. We don't say anything further. There isn't really a need to. We just sit there, quietly, two new friends leaning against one another as we take in the dark skies inside and ahead of us.
"I figure we ought to get you home soon," Louis says after awhile. "Is your Grandfather headed back with us?"
"I'm supposed to go and get him once you arrive." I sigh, realizing he'll be irritated I've made him wait this long. "I'll go in and fetch him and Uncle Ben."
"Before you do, a question for you-"
"Hm?" I stand up and brush the dirt from my skirt.
"Fancy an early Christmas present?"
I turn and stare at him, confused by his offer. He reaches into the pocket of his charcoal jacket and produces a small cream colored envelope. He hands it to me and as my eyes trace the tiny scribbled 'Hazel' on the front, I know instantly it's from Harry.
"And would you mind telling him that I didn't read his precious letter. Bloke's a doggone worry wart," Louis adds.
I flip the envelope over to see that the seal is clearly broken. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Okay, well I didn't read all of it," Louis defends.
I give him a little look, but I really could care less. What I would give to be in Harry's arms right now! My fingers fly to the broken seal and begin to pull the letter from the envelope when a deep voice calls to me.
"Hazel? Is that you?"
I spin on my heels immediately, carefully tucking my hands and the letter behind me.
"Yes, Grandfather! Coming!"
"Hazel, I thought you were going to tell us when the car turned up."
"I just arrived, Sir, I'm very sorry." Louis cuts in. "Small trouble with the car, but I've gone round and had it fixed. Should work no trouble at all now."
Grandfather simply answers with a harrumph and begins hobbling to the car. Louis quickly moves to open the door for him and Uncle Ben who follows silently behind.
Louis gives me a little look and I silently mouth "thank you," to him before getting in the car myself. The ride back home is marred by agonizing silence and the nerve wracking sensation that Harry's letter might somehow be found. I keep it hidden inside my coat pocket, desperate to rush home and read it.
When we finally return home, Grandfather silently stalks off to his study while Uncle Ben takes a seat in the parlor.
"Shall I prepare supper for you both?" I quietly ask Uncle Ben from the wide doorway.
"What's that?" Uncle Ben asks, his eyes squinting in confusion.
"Supper?" I ask again.
"Oh, yes, quite sorry. Um if you don't mind, yes that'll be lovely. I believe Jack will be joining us as well if you don't mind setting an extra place."
"Certainly," I reply. I don't even care if Jack turns up, I just want to get out of here to read my letter. "Anything else I can do for you?"
"No, no."
"Alright, well-"
"Hazel?" He asks, looking up earnestly.
"Yes?"
His mouth hangs open for a minute as he seems to search for the words, but ultimately, he waves me off.
"No, never mind," he dismisses. I can see the same anxiousness on his face that I'm feeling inside. I just haven't a clue how to talk to him about it.
"Are you sure?" I ask, taking a step inside. "Because I know that today-"
"It's quite alright. I don't mean to keep you further," he says with a weak smile. He picks up the paper beside him, his cue that he is not interested in talking any further.
"I'll let you know when everything's ready," I say.
"Perfect," he replies from behind his paper. I so wish Mother was here to talk to. Mother always knows what to say in a crisis- she's really her best when things go all sideways. I've never been able to keep as calm or as centered as she while still managing to help everyone around me.
I silently turn and head down the great hall and into the kitchen. Closing the door behind me, I lean against the door and slip my hand into my pocket. I take out the little envelope and gaze at the handwriting. Seeing my name in his handwriting sends me a dozen little butterflies. I anxiously pull out the letter, and checking once more that no ones in sight, I read
"Roses,
My darling, I've heard news that your Grandmother's in hospital. I know I've made you a promise to be an honorable man, but just say the word and I will come to you- morning, noon, or night. Leave word at our place. I will wait for you, always.
I love you entirely.
Yours,
H.
P.S- Louis, I'll kick you into next week if you read any of this.
I drop the letter and squeeze my eyes shut, excitement and love rushing through my veins. I even chuckle thinking of how he's going to react to Louis' new found knowledge of my nickname from having clearly read the letter. It's only after this, though, that the question dawns on me-
Where is our place?
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Authors Note-
Typed this one on my phone. Please be gentle if I've made loads of typos! I apologize!!