"Mashiho, let's go outside and play with your other friends!" my day-care teacher inspired me to go out as I hardly did so.
"But those boys are bad, teacher." I held her hand, afraid of meeting those boys.
"Don't be upset, Mashi. Look, your friend ------ is playing over there." She pointed at the pretty boy whom I befriended with who was digging the soil with a sharp stone at one corner.
After seeing him play outside, I gained a little courage and went to sit beside him.
"Hyung, what are you doing?" I asked. He had a green leaf covering his right eye. Since the leaf wasn't attached to a thread, it kept falling down on the ground. But my enthusiastic friend picked it up every time and slapped it over his right eye.
"I'm a pirate! I'm looking for treasure!" he showed me the leaf on his eye, "and this is captain --------'s eye patch".
I looked at the leaf falling down again, this time I picked it up and slapped it over his eye. He gave me his signature toothed grin.
"Is the treasure under this ground?" I asked.
"Hmm.. don't you know, treasure is hidden underground. I have seen it on TV. You have to dig deeeeep to get the treasure." He explained. I listened to him like an obedient kid.
"Okay. Then let me find my treasure too!" I spoke. He seemed really happy and found me another green leaf. I slapped it over my right eye as well and with the stone he gave me, started digging along with him.
"Let's find our treasure, Mashi~" he smiled.
But we didn't succeed as we were soon taken inside because apparently, we destroyed the garden.
'What a wholesome dream', I thought while waking up. I really wanted to meet this childhood friend of mine. He seemed interesting, friendly and happy. I wanted to see how he was doing. I wanted to say thank you for making my time in Korea back then so wonderful. But above all, I wanted to see how well he had grown because I swear, he seemed extremely pretty as a child in my dreams.
It was a holiday, but I still woke up early to attend the hangout party I was invited to. After being friends with Jihoon, who was literally the loudest person alive, I was invited to his hangout party to get introduced to his newly made boyfriend, Hyunsuk, who was a year older than us all. Even though I'm a new inclusion to their duo, I was still given the honour to attend their party and I was more than excited about it.
After reaching the address given to me, I found myself standing in front of a restaurant. While waiting, I heard a loud voice which I immediately recognized as Jihoon's. He was walking with a short guy whom I guessed was Hyunsuk. I bowed. I didn't see Q with them.
"Hey, Mashiho, this is Hyunsuk. Hyunsuk, this is Mashiho. And, don't tell me Q isn't here!" Jihoon said.
"Ah, yes, Asahi and Q none are here yet." I replied.
"That brat Q!" Jihoon said. I chuckled.
"Hi, I heard you're Japanese?" Hyunsuk asked.
"Ah, yes, I am." I replied.
"But you won't believe how good his Korean is!" Jihoon said. I was going to say something but soon Q arrived, followed by Asahi.
"Hey guys, I met Asahi on my way, so we came together." He spoke.
"Huh! You're late, Q!" Jihoon bickered him but he just ignored that.
We all talked a little, just that getting to know kinda talk with Hyunsuk before he said, "Let's get inside."
I was a bit worried after watching the menu. Every food shown there was spicy except for some sweets and drinks. I wanted to go for sweets but I felt embarrassed about not being able to eat spicy food because everyone else ordered spicy food. I didn't want Q to know I'm such a weak person so I ordered a spicy dish for me. But boy was it my biggest mistake or what! After only having a few bites, I realized that my throat and mouth was on fire. My eyes got teary and I couldn't tolerate it anymore. But I still didn't react. I just stopped eating for a while, but I knew not eating it will look suspicious so I started taking more bites. I must have been acting super weird because soon Q noticed me.
"Mashi, are you ok?" he asked.
"Yes." I shortly replied.
"Are you sure? you look so... red." He again said. I just nodded. I knew speaking would make it harder for me. Q observed me for a while.
"Mashi, do you... I mean, you can't eat spicy food, can you?" he said, in a hushed voice. I felt grateful and since I wasn't being able to hold back any longer, I nodded.
"Oh my God! Why didn't you say so before?" he took my food away and immediately called the waitress to order sweets for me.
"Hey, why are you ordering sweets suddenly?" Jihoon asked.
"I want Mashiho to taste sweets of this restaurant because I love them." He replied.
"What? But you never tasted sweets here!" Jihoon exclaimed.
"I did." Q replied.
"But-" Jihoon was cut off by Hyunsuk who after realizing that something was up; said, "Let it be, Hoonie."
Jihoon didn't ask anything after that and I felt extremely grateful to Q for saving me.
I happily ate the sweets afterwards. And Q smiled at me, whispering, "you don't have to do what you can't when I'm with you, okay? I won't let you face any harm." He poked my nose. I didn't know why but I felt so overwhelmed and nostalgic by his action. And to be honest, I didn't mind his care one bit.
"Teacher, I don't want to stay there, can I please draw a picture sitting next to you?" I asked the day care teacher.
"Sure, but why don't you want to sit there? With all those friends of yours?" she asked.
"They're scary." I replied.
"Did you go and talk to them?" she asked again.
"No, I just want to draw a picture, can I?" I was whining. So the teacher didn't interrogate me anymore and just let me sit beside her.
I was satisfied with my drawing. I drew me and my teacher. Since I had no friends there, I couldn't draw another person, even though there was obviously space for another one.
"Teacher, I want to wash my hands." I told her, since the tap was too high for me.
"Sure, let's go, Mashi." She took me to wash my hands which were stained with the colour of my crayons.
But when we got back, I saw someone else holding my crayon and drawing something on the page that I drew on. I went near him, only because I remembered talking to him the other day.
"------- hyung, is it you?" I asked.
"Oh yes, Mashi!" he smiled. "You forgot to draw me, so I'm drawing myself here." He said.
I looked at the drawing. The space that was left in my drawing was occupied with a huge heart shaped head and tiny hands and legs; very much different from the stick like humanoid figure I drew.
"your head is so big and funny!" I laughed.
He looked at me, "because I have big brains!"
"Then do I have a small brain?" I was pouting.
"No... wait, then let me make you big too" he then made my round head a heart shaped one as well. "Look, Mashi! It's so cool!" He clapped happily. I watched my drawing getting ruined by two big heads but I joined him by laughing as well.
"------ hyung, will you be my friend?" I asked. After coming to Korea, I didn't make any friend, as I was scared of them. But this little boy seemed different.
"Of course! You're sooo cute, Mashihooo!" he hugged me.
The warmth I felt got replaced immediately by the cold morning of reality. My dream boy was literally my childhood hero. I chuckled as I remembered how I found another hero to protect me these days. My time with Q wasn't that long, but I still felt safe around him and I knew he cared about me. After Jihoon started spending more time with Hyunsuk, Q often came to me to hang out. At times when Asahi was busy, it was only me and him and I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect more than friendship from Q.
But I felt a sharp pain once I caught him being confessed to by a pretty girl one day.
I quickly hid myself while observing what he had to say in response.
"Look, I'm really sorry, but I can't accept your proposal." He said, I unintentionally smiled.
"Why? Don't you think I'm pretty enough for you?" she said.
"No, it's not like that. You're pretty and nice but I can't like you back because I already like someone else."
I felt a pang in my chest. Who could Q possibly like? The smile I had before faded away after hearing that.
'If he can resist such a pretty girl for the one he likes, who am I to stand next to him? Besides does he even like guys?' I felt so sad and down.
"Who is it, Q? Do I not stand a chance to her?" she asked.
"Well, I'd just say that this heart is already stolen by someone else. I'm really sorry, I'm sure you'd find someone better." He smiled at her. God! That smile! That damn smile!
He excused himself soon and I had to walk away fast in order not to reveal myself. I tried not to think much but his words kept on haunting me.
'Who is lucky enough to be liked by you, Q?'
It was my first day at the day care. My mom left me here to go to work. The environment was nice. The teacher was also very sweet. But the children were all so scary! Since I didn't know much Korean, I avoided them.
I sat on one corner and was playing with some Lego and toy cars. My teacher came to me and talked to me for a while. One of those scary children came to me after the teacher left and took away the toy cars from me. I felt scared and angry, so I started crying.
"Why are you crying, little boy?" someone asked. I looked up. A child who seemed my age, looked at me with his curious eyes. He was taller and had mullet hair.
"They took my car." I said.
"Oh, do you want my car then?" he crouched down as I was sitting and he was standing.
I stopped crying for a moment and nodded.
"Come here", he grabbed my hand and took me to his play zone. He had a lot of toys and I felt so happy to see those.
"Can I play with these" I asked.
"Of course!" He smiled. We both got back to play before the teacher came to look for me. She smiled once she saw me with the boy.
"Aww Mashi, you aren't scared anymore!" she said. I looked at her and said, "He's not scary. He's good because he let me play with these." I showed her the toys I was holding. She smiled again.
"Okay then Mashiho, why don't you introduce yourself?" she said.
"Hi," I called him. He looked at me. "I am Mashiho. I am 5 years old and I am from Japan."
"Hi, I'm Kim Junkyu. I'm 6 years old and I'm from Korea. It's nice to meet you!" He smiled at me.
"you're so well mannered, Junkyu!" the teacher praised him.
"Okay, you two play. I'll go check on the others." She left us after saying that and we got back to playing on our own.
It was the first time I slept during class hour. I woke up hearing the ringing of the bell as the class ended, signalling that school was over. But instead of getting up to leave, I sat there frozen on my seat-
'Kim Junkyu'
So I finally remember his name. But it's just his name! Why do I feel like he's not just his name? Why do I feel like whatever he did back then, was happening to me again? Why do I feel like those eyes and lips are not just my memory but my present? Why did that 'Kim Junkyu' ring in my ears like that? Why did his warmth linger like it's surrounding me every now and then?
Then I remembered what happened earlier and how down I was feeling.
'Q likes someone else...'
Wait! Someone's name can't be Q right? It must be the short form of something. Like it may not be Q but Kyu?
I immediately grabbed my bag and ran past the walking students, bumping with them and earning countless scolding but I had to find Q right then!
I was getting out of breath once I spotted Q with Jihoon, leaving the school gate.
"Q!" I shouted, breathlessly waiting after that. He heard me, as I could see him approaching me.
"Hey Mashi, What's wrong? Why are you out of breath?" he asked.
"First, tell me" I caught my breath, "What's your full name?"
"J- I mean, Kim Junkyu. Why?"
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know what got into me but I just hugged him tight after that. He seemed a bit puzzled but hugged me back nonetheless.
"I missed you, hyung." I said, my voice already breaking.
"Mashi, why are you- what happened suddenly?" he asked.
I let go of the hug and took his hands. Jihoon came to us after waiting for Junkyu for the time being.
"Do you remember attending a day care centre when you were six?" I asked.
"Yes, I made so many friends there!" He replied.
"Do you remember the little cry-baby who didn't want to let go of you once you left the city?" I asked.
"Yeah, he was so cute, how can I-"
"What's his name?" I cut him off.
"I don't remember." He said, head down as he was thinking for a while.
"Mashiho, hyung, his name is Mashiho. He went to Japan soon after only to return to you after 12 long years." I said, with the biggest grin possible for me to form. I heard Jihoon gasp from behind as he heard us talk but I was focused on Junkyu's eyes in front of me.
This time, he pulled me in for a hug.
"Oh my God Mashi! I always felt so close to you! Now I know why." He patted my head.
"Wait, so you two have a history?" Jihoon asked.
"Yes" I replied, my smile didn't fade a bit.
"Wow, now it's easier for you to confess Kyu." He said, Junkyu's eyes became super large.
"Confess what, hyung?" I asked Junkyu.
"Park Jihoon! I swear I'm gonna kill you!" Junkyu glared at Jihoon.
"Ahhh, love you too Kyu! I've ...um... I've got to go! Right. Okay, bye! Best of luck, Kyu. Best of luck Mashi..." Jihoon rushed towards the school gate in order to leave, which even I understood was an excuse of him.
"Ah this guy never stops causing trouble." Junkyu sighed.
"What was he talking about, hyung?" I asked. It felt funny calling Junkyu as my hyung, but since he's my dream guy who was my loving 'hyung', I kept calling him by that.
"I guess I should actually say what I have to." he sighed again.
"What do you have to say?" I was curious.
"I wanted to say that, Mashi, I've been having a crush on you for a few months now and I'd like to know how you feel about me." He spoke. I was thunder struck at that. In a span of a day, I found out Junkyu likes someone, then found out the name of the boy I've been dying to know for years and the best of all, Junkyu confessing to me.
"You're lying, right?" I asked.
"No, why would I?" he asked back.
"Because I heard you rejecting that girl, saying your heart is already stolen by someone." I replied.
"You did? When? Also in that case, yes, of course. And that's you! From the very first day! You always seemed so cute and now I know that you're that precious friend of mine, which is why I like you even more now. So, just tell me if you don't feel the same." He seemed so nervous and desperate.
"If I say I don't feel the same, what would you do?" I asked.
"Well... I'll just... you know, move on or I don't know, moving on is hard and to think you're not mine to protect and- it will be so damn hard- ugh!! Park Jihoon! I wasn't ready! Why would you make me do this now??" Junkyu was being super loud and I felt bad for teasing him.
"It's okay, hyung. You don't have to move on, because, I like you too." I flashed him yet another smile and he wasted no time in carrying me up after he processed what I said.
"You're so cute, Mashi!"
"You're so cute, hyung!", we both said in unison and laughed afterwards.
So this dream guy, Q, Kyu, Junkyu- all are the same person; the only person that can make my heart flutter like crazy.
'I wish I can make your heart flutter like mine too, Junkyu hyung!'
*****
Okay, so if anyone's still confused, the dream was written in inverse chronological order, in snippets. And the narrative parts were written in chronological order, that too in snippets but there was a continuity.
-
So, This is the end of 'Dream'😊
I loved writing it so much even though it's my first time writing something like this. And you probably guessed by now that my bias is Junkyu🐨
Well, I have another bias, can you guess who??😉
Anyway, stay healthy and happy😇