CHAPTER TEN |
dancing on my own
***
KAYLA WAS PRETTY excited about the newly announced Sadie Hawkins dance. She needed a dance to chill her out. Aside from the fact that she had no clue who to ask, she couldn't wait to dance around with her friends and just like every prom before her, she was keeping with her theme of wearing a suit. She felt powerful in a suit. It was the only time she ever felt in control of something. She knew the obvious choice would be for her to ask Ryder to the dance. He was her fake boyfriend after all, but it didn't feel right. She knew she would rather be going with Sam, but it was obvious he was going to be with Brittany, so she squashed that idea rather quickly.
Right outside of the locker room, Kayla found a freshman Cheerio named Chloe looking up at Ryder, just on the verge of asking him to the dance. She rolled her eyes, walking up to him and immediately interlocking their fingers together. He smiled at her gratefully.
"Chloe, quit flirting with my boyfriend, please." Kayla suggested softly, watching that glare appear on Chloe's face. She and Chloe hadn't particularly gotten along since she dropped her during a build and prompted her to need a neck brace. In her defense, Chloe didn't keep still and placed her feet at an odd angle that made it impossible to catch her.
She huffed, mumbling out something that Kayla's ear couldn't register but was probably something along the lines of calling her every foul name in the book. Ryder mouthed a thank you, but didn't let go of her hand as they turned back to the crowd that consisted of Jake, Marley, and Artie.
"Boyfriend?" Jake asked with a smirk.
She blushed, hiding her face in Ryder's shoulder. She didn't know why she was embarrassed. Ryder was not her boyfriend, but maybe it was more the premise of the whole thing. She wasn't used to having a boyfriend. She hadn't had one since eighth grade. Even if it wasn't real, it felt nice to be needed by someone.
"Shut up, Jake," Ryder mumbled, smiling down at her. "Come on. Let's go to glee." he didn't let go of her hand as they headed into the locker room which was the only classroom they could meet in at the moment. She sat down next to him on the bench, ignoring Sam's gaze on her. She wasn't really ready to talk to him yet.
"Okay, guys. Tina would like to ask one of you lucky men to the dance, so take it away!" he smiled, everyone clapping as he gave Tina the floor.
Kayla smiled brightly as Tina announced that she would be performing I Don't Know How To Love Him. As Tina begun singing, her smile continued. The song was perfect for her voice and she was reminded of just how talented her best friend was. She had no clue who Tina was going to ask out until she hit the bridge and stepped up towards Blaine. She immediately dropped Ryder's hand and instead held it over her mouth in surprise and worry. She was hagging out for Blaine. This was the definition of the worst thing ever.
When the song ended, a scatter of very awkward applause and murmurs fell across the room as Finn asked Tina who she wanted to go to the dance with and she grinned, looking straight ahead as she asked, "Blaine, will you go to the dance with me?"
Kayla grimaced. This was painful, but nothing was more painful than the look on Tina's face as Blaine said no. Tina took a gulp in an attempt to hide her tears while the football team burst into the locker room for practice. It took mere seconds before Tina was running out.
"I'll see you after practice, okay?" Ryder smiled softly at her and she nodded, giving him a quick hug before she pulled away and went to find Tina.
She found her in the bathroom, holding onto the sink as she let tears fall down her face. She frowned, placing a hand on Tina's shoulder softly, making the just slightly older girl look up with a sad smile. She was trying to be strong for Kayla. She didn't need to. So Kayla didn't say anything. She just simply pulled Tina into her arms and let her cry.
"I," Tina choke on a sob, hiccupping. "I c—can't believe I just embarrassed myself like that."
Kayla brushed her friend's hair back, wiping her tears with the pads of her fingers. "Maybe it wasn't your best moment, but the song was great!" Kayla smiled warmly, making Tina let out a sad chuckle.
"I miss Mike." she sighed, whispering so low Kayla almost missed it.
"I know you do. And Blaine is great, but you're not exactly his type, babe." Kayla reasoned with her best friend. She didn't know what it was with her friends hagging out over gay men, but it wasn't cute.
"Do you think I can make it up to him? I probably made him so uncomfortable." Tina asked curiously.
Kayla shrugging, letting go of her hold on Tina's waist. "It's Blaine and you guys are friends. I think he's already forgiven you."
"God, I hope so." Tina mumbled as she fell back onto Kayla's shoulder for comfort.
←⧪→
All the girls had just performed Tell Him for the boys. Kayla gave Ryder a few winks throughout the performance. She actually liked spending time with him. She was by no means crushing on the boy, but he was nice company. At least he was a good distraction from the fact that Sam was moving on. Finn asked all the girls which boy they'd like to ask to the dance and Marley quickly shouted Jake's name.
Kayla chuckled, watching her friend take control of what had been a bad few weeks and ask him to the dance. Jake accepted graciously. Kayla was less excited when Brittany asked Sam and he replied in a Yoda impression that usually would have made her laugh, but then again, she wasn't the one asking him.
"Anyone else?" Finn prompted and Kayla broke out of her stupid thoughts and raised her hand.
She had just opened her mouth when she was interrupted by knocking on the window and she saw Chloe waving at Ryder. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, getting ready to put her neck in another brace.
"Chloe, I'll throw a shoe at you!" Kayla yelled through the glass, making sure the freshman could hear her. Ryder chuckled, holding her back by the waist so she didn't break through the window. Chloe quickly ran off at that and she smirked.
"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" Kayla smiled softly, grabbing his hand.
He grinned, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I'd love to."
She squealed, pulling him into a hug. Despite the fact that she was excited to go to the dance with her fake boyfriend/new friend, she could still feel the beating eyes of everyone looking at her. No one said anything and everyone was quickly dismissed. Ryder said his goodbyes, slowly letting go of her and she smiled as she waved him out the door. She was pulling on her backpack when Sam approached her.
"That's new." Sam noted when he looked at her. They hadn't really spoken in awhile. Not since Sectionals and there really wasn't a reason for it. They just got a little busy and then all of a sudden, he was dating Brittany and she was helping out Ryder.
"So are you and Brittany." she quipped, making Sam look down at the floor.
He nodded. "Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you or anything."
She shrugged. She was trying to be strong. "You're not required to tell me who you're dating. We're not together anymore."
"I know. Just, as your best friend, I like to know who you're seeing. How did you and Ryder happen anyway?" Sam asked.
She tensed up a bit. Neither of them had really gone over an origin story for their relationship, so she quickly pulled out the best one she could. "I've been tutoring him for awhile and I don't know. He's really sweet. He makes me happy."
"Good," he paused. "Um, I gotta get to class, but can we hang out this week? I kinda miss you."
She grinned. She had missed him more than words could say. "Yeah, I'd like that." He parted with a quick side hug and with that, he was out the door, leaving Kayla to her thoughts and the four walls blocking them.
←⧪→
Kayla was about to head into her English class when she realized that one, her teacher wasn't there and two, her best friend was being hit on by Kitty Wilde. She rolled her eyes, hearing her ask Puck out to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She was that desperate for a date that she was willing to go with Puck? Not that Puck wouldn't be a good date. If she wasn't going with Ryder, Puck would be an obvious choice to her, but there was a difference between Kayla and Puck going together as friends and Kitty asking Puck as her new fuck buddy. Kayla knew for a fact that Kitty was freshly sixteen and this was bordering on all kinds of illegal.
When Puck left the room with a smirk, Kayla strutted into the room seeing Kitty reading through the chapter they were supposed to have read last week. She walked up to her desk, slamming Kitty's book shut. Kitty rolled her eyes as she sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "And just what have I done now?"
"Leave Puck alone." Kayla seethed. "And leave everyone alone, for that matter."
"Aw, are you sad that your little boyfriend found a new Cheerio's virginity to swipe?" Kitty pouted.
Kayla glared at her. "Look, I don't know what your problem is or why you seem to have a vendetta against me, but maybe the reason you haven't gotten a date to the dance is because nobody can stand you. So asking out a nineteen year old to take you is kinda embarrassing."
Kitty got out of her seat. "What's actually embarrassing is you using Ryder as a rebound from your stupid crush on Sam. C'mon, Garrett. Everyone sees those heart eyes you make at him. Even Ryder does."
Kayla was clutching her fist at her side and was two minutes away from swinging when everyone started piling into the classroom. She whispered harshly. "If you hurt Puck or Marley or anyone else, I swear to God, I will not hesitate to beat the shit out of you."
Kitty rolled her eyes, moving back into her chair. "Whatever."
Kayla spent the rest of the period burning daggers into the back of Kitty's head instead of focusing on annotating a stupid poem. She was getting so sick and tired of everything coming to her to fix it. The next fix was going to be her fist in Kitty's face the minute she got the chance.
←⧪→
Kayla and Ryder were hand in hand as they slow danced to Tina's solo. She was smiling as she looked at him. She had been thinking about Kitty's words a lot lately. She knew Ryder wasn't her rebound because they weren't actually together, but sometimes it did feel like she was using him a bit to get over Sam. Then another part of her remembered that he was basically doing the same thing to gain Marley's attention and so far, their little relationship had done nothing to turn her head.
Ryder looked over at Marley and Jake dancing and panicked. "Shit, they're looking this way!"
She chuckled, placing her hand on his chin and pulling it down a smidge so she could kiss him. It was soft, sweet. She didn't feel anything. It was more comforting than revealing, but it felt safe to kiss him, so she did. He pulled back after she let go of his chin and revealed a small smile. "Thanks. I didn't want to ask."
"No problem." she smiled. She felt someone tapping her shoulder and she looked over to Finn who was telling her it was her turn for her solo. She nodded, looking back at Ryder and giving him another chaste kiss before she walked over to the stage.
< dancing on my own, calum scott >
She nodded over at the piano player and he began. "Somebody said you got a friend. Does she love you better than I can? There's a big black sky over my town. I know where you at. I bet she's around. And yeah, I know it's stupid, but I just gotta see it for myself."
Her eyes locked on Sam dancing with Brittany, but his eyes were on her. It reminded her of when she sang at Burt and Carole's wedding. He was looking at her the same way Rachel did then. She was great at falling into bad habits. She didn't want Sam and her to become what she and Rachel did. She decided then that she wasn't going to fight for him while he was with Brittany. If they broke up, then she'd step in, but she could not go through the same heartbreak she did her sophomore year.
"I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh. And I'm right over here. Why can't you see me, oh? I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home. I keep dancing on my own."
When she finished the song, she found herself laughing into the microphone as Ryder was trying to swat Chloe away from him. Looking at Sam and Brittany hurt, but watching her pseudo-boyfriend fend off of weird girls trying to hit on him was the pinnacle of her night. She wasn't completely happy, but she was working on finding happiness in what she had. Not everything was perfect, but it never would be.
She walked off the stage, smiling as she saw Ryder wink at her and she walked over. He grabbed her hand, linking their fingers together. "I know you love him, but trust me, he loves you too."
She scrunched her eyebrows together. "How do you know that?"
"Because you're amazing, Kay. Any guy would be a fool to not fall in love with you."
She shrugged, smirking a little bit. "Then I guess you're just a fool."
He held a hand over his heart. "Ouch."
She ignored his dramatics and pulled him into the center of the dance floor as they danced along to Beyoncé. Even though she was going to this dance with the wrong guy, she was happy. Ryder managed to make her smile even though she wasn't at her best. If she had to fake date anyone, she was glad it was him.
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[A/N: why was this lowkey cute? i'm lowkey loving writing ryder and kayla being friends (even though i generally hate ryder's chatacter) but don't worry. it's very much short-lived. up next is Naked which means we're due for a little bit more Evarrett action around here. thank you all for 31k. it means the world 😭💗💗💗]
*edited 1/17/23
~ Dani