Dimitri POV Chapters 19 - 22
I drive the car up the long drive way and park. Skylar is vibrating with excitement next to me where as all I can feel is dread. The place is way more crowded then what she had led me to believe. I almost regret not having Frank follow us for he day, but I wanted to be a normal guy with her. Maybe all these people are out on trail or something. I was looking forward to some time alone with Skylar and hope I won't have to share her with a bunch of people.
"Ready," she asks me with smile and eyes twinkling.
"As ready as I'm going to be," I mutter. She then takes my hand from the steering wheel and gives me a reassuring squeeze. I didn't even know I had been gripping it so tightly.
"Dimitri." My worried eyes turn to face her. So much for me being the tough Rockstar. "You have preformed in front of thousands of people. Being around horses is nothing compared to that."
Is she nuts? This is completely different because I'm out of my comfort zone. When I go on stage everything else melts away to the point it is only the band and the music left. I've also been preforming for awhile now. When I first started there were days I was afraid the nerves would consume me, but over time I've learned to shake them off. For me a show is just another day in the office. These huge beasts are a different story.
Skylar opens her door and my sentence slips out before I could stop it, "you're right its worse." I know I'm being a big baby, but you have to understand even though I grew up around Nashville my family never did anything with horses. This is an entirely new experience for me.
Skylar goes into a coughing fit attempting to cover her laughs, but I can still hear them loud and clear. She wasn't fooling anyone. While I sit there pondering my life choices that got me to this point Skylar walks over to my side of the car and link arms with mine. Guess this is her way to make sure I don't make a run for it. I need to suck it up because she is going on tour with me and I know that will be taking her out of her comfort zone. I can do this!
"Come on. I'll even hold your hand," she says as though talking to a child. I glare at her and she rolls her eyes.
We walk arm in arm towards a door . When Skylar opens the door I can hear music and people talking. I also can smell food. Cook out maybe? So much for them being on a trail ride. She stops so suddenly that I run smack into the back of her causing her to almost fall over. I instantly react by wrapping an arm around her waist to steady here. The last thing I want is for her to tumble to the ground.
Some man calls out to Skylar about how that had been expecting her hours ago to help set up. I try to peek over her shoulder to see what as going on, but she kept blocking me.
"Sorry I lost track of time," she explains in a clear voice causing me to chuckle because we more than lost track of time. The wench elbows me in the stomach knocking the air out of me. So this is how it's going to be.
A famine voice perks up, "who's your friend?" Again I attempt to see over her and she block the view. This is starting to get very annoying.
Skylar's body tenses and I can tell she is not comfortable with this situation we are in, but for the life of me I can't figure out why. We already discussed and agreed upon being a couple. Our relationship is going to be public knowledge sooner or later. That reminds me I need to call Aubree and have her return to Chicago. We need to discuss with there next steps because as I've learned over the years better to be in front of something like this than behind it. Not like she is going to be able to keep it a secret because the secret will come out no matter what we do.
Then my thoughts take a dark turn. Unless she's playing me like everyone else. Seeing what she can get out of me for a few days. Stop it Dimitri this is Skylar you are talking about she would never be so cold. Still a slight nagging was still in the back of my head that she wanted to keep our relationship in the dark like she did our friendship. Like hell that was going to happen. She was finally mine and I wanted the entire world to know.
"Aren't you going to introduce me? Or am I the dirty little secret?" I whisper into her ear and holding my breath waiting to see what she would do or say.
"No, you are not the dirty little secret," she tells me quickly and I feel the worry melt from my body. Well that's a positive. "Just trying to figure out how to handle this situation."
There really is no way to handle this situation because the way people react will depend on if they know me or not. Not like I can hide who I am. Will also depend on how much respect they have for Skylar. Maybe I should have brought Frank. He would have been able to help. But can't go back and change it now can only move forward.
"Let me inside and I'll handle it." When she makes no move to get out of the way I nudge her, but she stands her ground. Stubborn women. Then an idea comes to me. I say my next sentence louder. "Baby you are only making this worse." She gets all mushy when I call her baby. I hate using this against her, but we can't stand in the door all day. The second I feel her body relax in front of mine I push my way through the door.
I find myself standing in a room that at one point looks like it may have been used as a garage. There are tables set up laden with food and a few places for people to sit down and eat. I notice a Steel Wolf poster hanging on the wall and a stereo in the corner.
No surprise all conversations cease when we enter and I can feel the itchiness of all eyes on us. Show time. Hopefully we can get through this smoothly and go about out day. Maybe once the shock of me being here wears off people will leave us alone. All I want to do is spend the day with my girlfriend.
"Hi everyone," I say watching how no one even blinks an eye. "I'm Dimitri Brandt Skylar's boyfriend." I add the last part about being Skylar's boyfriend because of the thirsty look in the blondes eyes. I've seen the same look before and I want her to know I'm taken. I wrap an arm around Skylar's waist and kiss the top of her head.
The blonde chick struts up to us and literally purrs her words, "I'm glad I didn't miss this party." She then rakes her eyes over my body making me want to take a shower. The blonde holds her hand out to me to shake and because I don't know what kind of relationship she has with Skylar I shake her hand. "I'm Addison." And I'm not interested almost sneaks out before I bite the words back.
Sadly the torture doesn't end there Addison has the audacity to step in between Skylar and myself. She links our arms with her and my skin crawls from the contact. But I play nice because she could be a friend of Skylar's though I may try to convince her to end this friendship. She was making me extremely uncomfortable.
"How do you know our Skylar," she asks in a sweet voice and fake smile. She reminds me of Madison. Ironically their names actually rhyme. I glace at Skylar and all I see is death in her eyes. Best to get out of this as soon as possible before I'm forced to bail Skylar out of jail.
I untangle my arm from Addison's and step away from her to pull Skylar in front of my like a shield. My actions where doing two things for me. One putting distance between Addison and me, but also showing I was with Skylar.
"She's been my best friend since I was eighteen. And now we are finally at place in our lives where we can give us a try." I answer her and Skylar leans back against me.
"What he said," she sighs lost in her own world.
A man approaches us and tells me, "I am one of your biggest fans Mr. Brandt." By the softness in Skylar's eyes I can tell this is someone she is close to.
"Please call be Dimitri," I inform him holding out my hand to shake his.
Seems this action opened the flood gates and soon I find myself surrounded by the people there. Normally I have no problem interacting with fans, but today was about me and Skylar enjoying our first day as a couple. I take some pictures and sign a few autographs mainly because I don't know who Skylar is close to and who is isn't. I don't want to accidently upset her.
Finally Skylar steps in stopping the onslaught, "well we are going to go riding. I'm sure Dimitri will be more than happy to sign autographs if you are still here when we are done." She then shoves me out a door in the back of the room before I can say anything else. I laugh the entire time enjoying how she wants to be alone with me.
The shuts behind us and she links her fingers with mine leading me down past the stalls. She finally stops in front of one and I come face to face with Renegade for the first time. My eyes bug out of my face at his size. He was a lot bigger than I thought he was from the pictures I had previously seen. And she wants me to ride him.
Renegade drop his head over the door and nickers at me. Skylar has a tenderness in her expression. She really love this animal and since I love her I better toughen up.
But instead of something tough come out I stammer, "he's huge."
She takes a step back and eyes the beast. I swallow my fright and reach a trembling hand to the beast and he smells my fingers.
"He's not that big," she tells me. Maybe if you've been around them all your life, but I have no. "And don't forget three years old have ridden him before." Her reminder doesn't make me feel better in fact it makes me feel more of a wuss then I already am.
"Okay," I respond with not knowing what else to say.
"Change of plan," she exclaims.
Yes! Did she decided that me petting the horse was enough because I am more than happy with that. Then we could leave get to her parents, pack her bags and get back to the hotel for my fun in the bed. I like that idea.
"We don't ride he horse." I state turning to her with hope.
My dreams are destroyed with her words. "No we are riding." She holds up a finger cutting me off from expressing the new plans I had come up with. "But instead of a trail ride how about we ride in the arena? I'll give you a mini lesson and maybe next time we can go ride on trail?"
If I have to ride the horse I would rather it be somewhere with four walls around me. This new plan I could do. At least I hope I can and don't make a complete fool of myself.
I stroke Renegade's neck growing some confidence. "I can do that." Renegade blows a breath across my face, "look he likes me!"
"Of course he does. I love you so why wouldn't he?" She says giving we a quick kiss and walking away to do who knows what. Leaving me alone with the beast who is currently giving me the eyes.
I take a quick step back when Renegade stretches his neck out towards me and collide with someone. I reach my hand out to steady them when I realize the person I ran into was Addison.
"First time around horses?" She asks eyes flickering from the horse to me. Thankful the glint that was in her eyes earlier was gone and she seems like she's only being nice.
I rub the back of my neck, "I'm that obvious am I?'
We both laugh and she steps closer to me, "I thought you grew up near Nashville."
I nod my head, "I did, but was never around horses. Was more into video games, playing guitar and going out hunting then horses."
"They are just like big dogs," she says reaching out to scratch Renegade's neck, but he kept moving his head to avoid her. So she pulled her hand away.
"Is that so," I questions scratching behind Renegade's ear, and noticing how he didn't pull away from me. Interesting. The horse seems to not be a fan of Addison.
I'm not left any more time to ponder my thoughts because Skylar returns and practically drops the gear she holding on Addison. Who shrieks, "hey watch it!" I turn my back to the women hiding my laughter.
"Sorry Addison. I didn't know you were so close," I can hear Skylar saying behind me. Seems my girlfriend has a jealous side and by the tightness in my pants safe to say it was turning me on. Great now I have to try riding with a hardon.
She grabs something from the ground and drags me into the stall. Shit now I'm standing in the beast's little house. Is this were I die? I've lived good life. Skylar shoves something in my hands calling it a halter and shows me how to put it on. Thankfully Renegade cooperates with me and we have no problems. Skylar takes the rope to lead the beast for his domain and I flatten myself against the wall to give him all the space he could need. The image of the horse kicking the horse from earlier flashes in my mind and all of a sudden the collar of my shirt feels too tight.
She leads him to the middle of the aisle and clip the ropes to him. Movement down the aisle catches her eye and I glace around the beast to see what she was looking at. I notice Addison also has what I presume to be her horse in the aisle doing the same thing we are attempting to do. I catch Skylar throw Addison a dirty look.
"Don't like her I take it."
"Not particularly," she grumbles. "She has to have every male's attention on her and will do anything to make that happen. Especially since she usually always gets her way."
My girl is jealous of this other women. She has no reason to be because I only have eyes for her. Addison could strip naked in front of me and I wouldn't be tempted. Now if Skylar would strip down naked I could drag her into one of those stalls and we could live out a roll in the hay. My jeans tighten again at the thought of having my tongue on her.
Instead of acting out my fantasy I walk over to her and do the next best thing gather her in my arms and kiss her. "Then she shall be disappointed because I only have eyes for you." I pull her in for a deeper kiss claiming her lips with mine. Hoping Addison saw what we were doing. Skylar digs her nails on my hair pulling me closer to her. We where just getting heated with Renegade nudges be from behind putting a kibosh to our impromptu make out session. Who would have thought a horse would be a cock blocker?
Through laughter she says, "appears someone is being impatient."
She shows me how to brush the horse and I find myself having fun. Brushing the beast was really therapeutic and he seemed to enjoy it. So maybe he will remember how I brushed him and he won't make me eat dirt. A guy can hope. I leave the putting on of the saddle to Skylar because I didn't want to so something to screw it up. That was one of two pieces of equipment that would be used to keep me from kissing the ground and I wanted it secured correctly. The other was the bridle, which she also put on. There will be other days I can saddle the horse myself.
Skylar did make me lead the beast to the arena. Addison was already riding, but my focus was on listening to Skylar explain the basics of riding. I did not want to miss one second of her precious instructions. The time to ride kept drawing closer and closer with each direction she gave.
Then the dreaded words came. "Ready to get in the saddle?"
No I think to myself. Is one every really ready? I know people do this all the time and don't get hurt, but it only takes that one day that one time. Maybe today is that one day for me. I'm tempted to text my lawyer to make sure my will is up to date, but decide against it because Skylar would say I'm being over dramatic. Maybe I am.
Before I run away I say, "let's do this before I chicken out. Plus since you are coming on tour with me to experience what I love then I need to experience what you love." I catch a sound behind me and see that Addison had been riding past while we were talking. Oh well another fact to show that I'm taken by Skylar. I've never have had a girl on tour with me before. Sure they may have met up at me while we were stationary for a bit, but they never went on the road with me. Skylar will be the first.
Keeping a glare fixed on Addison Skylar says, "guess she overheard your statement."
I shrug my shoulders, "oh well. Like I should give a fuck what she thinks. You're the one I care about. I love you."
"I love you too," she tells me with a gorgeous smile. I love her smiles. "Okay enough stalling let's get you up there."
I glance up there and I'm pretty sure bile rose up my throat. Suddenly I feel over heated and need to sit down, but on the ground not on the horse. My option was taken from me when she has be put on a helmet and the next then I know I'm sitting on top of the beast.
I sit there not wanting to move and happy Renegade decided standing was the best option. Could I get down now? I mean I am up here isn't this considered riding?
"Kick him to get him to move." Is she nuts she wants me to kick the beast? What if I kick him to hard and he gets mad? I really am like this whole just stand here thing we have going on. She lays a hand on my leg. "Baby you for this. I promise Renegade will take care of you."
I can do this! I nod my head at her and give him a soft kick figuring I could always kick harder if I need to. Renegade takes off at a smooth slow walk. Perfect. For few laps she circles with us and with each lap I grow more and more confident. I notice she is slowly backing away from us with each lap till she is standing in the middle. She continues to encourage me and I feel like I'm on top of the world. I'm actually starting to like this whole horse back riding thing. Maybe once I'm back in Nashville for a bit I could hire a trainer to teach me to ride and then next time I could empress Skylar. I even gain enough confidence to try a short trot.
Finished for the day and wanting to end on a good note I lead Renegade to where Skylar was standing in the middle. "Having fun," she asks me.
A big smile graces my lips, "yes! But how to I get off?"
She helps be get off the beast and starts to lead Renegade from the arena, but I halt her by handing her the helmet, "I want to watch you ride." Though I'd rather you were riding me and not the horse. Calm down Dimitri you'll be back at the hotel soon.
"Okay," she says mounting the horse and leading him out to the wall.
I make my way back to the center watch him put the horse thorough his paces. She has a carefree expression on her face and I can tell this is her happy place. Being up in the saddle. I love watching her ride more than I enjoyed riding. She cues the horse into a faster movement then I did an of course with me being a guy I notice how her hips rock in the saddle. Reminding me of how they rocked against mine in the bed room. Bet she would be amazing on to. I make a note to myself to remember for us to try that position later night.
Another horse and rider approaches me blocking my view from Skylar and cutting through my dirty thoughts. I glance up and find Addison had come and joined me in the circle. I'd rather stand here alone and watch my girl. And think my dirty thoughts.
Addison dismounts and steps into my person space. "You have something on your shirt," she says reaching up to brush away whatever was there.
"Thanks," I tell her.
"Your welcome," she tells me walking away. I glance back to Skylar and notice her back is to me and she is on the other end of the arena.
Seconds after Addison leaves she pops her head back in and calls out to me for some help. I take another peek at Skylar and she is only walking Renegade. Figuring she is almost done I follow Addison out to see what she needed.
Turns out she needed my help to carry her saddle claiming she had hurt her arm, but she had no problem putting the saddle on. Women thinking they are being slick.
We are standing outside her horses stall, "so you and Skylar have been friends for awhile?" She asks twirling her hair and the glint from earlier has returned. Great.
"Yes. We tried dating a few times, but timing was always off." I tell her watching my words and expecting to see them printed somewhere.
"What's different about this time," she asks licking her lips and eyeing me.
"We've grown up and are more established. Also more willing to make sacrifices to make this work." I tell her taking a step away from her. Wanting to change the topic I ask, "how long have you and Skylar been friends."
"Since she bought her horse so a few years now. We are supper close and go on trail rides all the time." Odd didn't seem like they were super close. Maybe Skylar's jealously was causing her to act the way she was.
Ricky pops his head out from behind the door leading back to the club house. "There's food if you're hungry." I wasn't really hungry, but I didn't like being left alone with Addison.
"I'm not hungry, but I would enjoy joining you." I tell him and head off towards the club house with Addison trailing behind me.
Ricky is sitting at booth that was along one of the walls. I slide into the open seat across from him and to my dismay Addison sat next to me.
Ricky and I start to talk about music with Addison every now again interrupting us to try and bring the focus on her. I'd listen to what she had to say an answer her question, but then return my attention back to Ricky. I kept an eye on the time wondering what was taking Skylar so long.
Shit! What if she fell off and was lying on the ground broken? And I just walked away leaving her there all alone. What if she was yelling my name for help and I was in her so I couldn't hear her? Just as I was about to go search to make sure she was okay she walks into the clubhouse.
"Skylar over here," I call out drawing her attention to us. Her eyes were redder than I remember. Had she been crying? Did she fall off the horse and get hurt? My mind was racing with some many possibilities at to way she could have been crying I almost miss what Ricky was saying to Skylar.
"You have been holding our on us." He must be referring to her knowing me. She shrugs her shoulders in response. Something is seriously bothering Skylar and as soon as she is ready to leave I will get it out of her.
We fall into another comfortable conversation about music and the fame. Addison kept coming up with excuses to touch me and I had to fight the urge to shove her from the booth. I hated the feeling of her hands on me. Being around the horses didn't make me feel dirty, but having her hands on me sure did.
Skylar pulls her phone out of her pocket and read a message before responding. When she returns it to her pocket she aims her attention to me. "Dimitri that was my mom she was wondering when I was coming home. I told her I would be leaving the barn soon," she says with such anguish I can't help, but continue to wonder what is going on.
Before I can say something Addison wraps her arms around my neck, "you can't leave now," she whines. "We were just getting to know on another." I was more than ready to leave and fix whatever was going on between Skylar and me.
"It's fine I'll call an Uber if you want to stay," she says and leaves so quickly I can't say anything.
I remove Addison's arms from around my neck, "can you please get out so I can get out." I say more calmly then I'm feeling. When she makes no motion to move I say, "you can either move on your own or I will make you."
"Addison stop acting so childish and move," Ricky tells her crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes.
Addison complains, but slides out of the seat so I can leave and follow Skylar. I rush out the door in search of her and call out, "Skylar," when I don't see her with my heart in my throat. What if the Uber already got her because it took Addison so long to move her ass.
"Over here," I hear said in a soft quite voice. I glance to my side and see her standing next to a bench with tears glistening in her eyes. My girl was crying. We walk towards each other and when she was close enough I gathered her tightly in my arms. Planning on never letting her go. She clings to me as though this would be the last time she would ever be in my arms.
"Why did you walk away," I question her putting some space between us so I could watch her eyes.
"I wanted to go outside," she informs me, but I can tell by her tone she is lying to me.
I brush stay piece of hair behind her ear, "then let's go."
She glances as something over my shoulder as she says, "thought you wanted to stay?"
I tilt my head in confusion, "why would I want to stay if you are leaving?" She once again glances over my shoulder, but I follow her eyes to see Addison had followed me outside. Wait a minute. Skylar doesn't think I have something going on with Addison. Does she? By the way her eyes glisten with tears makes me thing she does. "Addison? You think I want to stay here with her?" I ask with utter disbelief.
Skylar shrugs her shoulders and I fight the urge to smoother her with kisses. My girl has no idea how deeply in love with her I am. And how could she compare herself to Addison and think she was less. "What else am I suppose to think with you allowing her to hang all over her?" I don't remember Addison hanging all over me. Sure she gave me unwanted touches. "And not to mention you choose to walk away with her and not even tell me you were leaving the arena?"
Shit. I did do that. My thoughts were so focused on wanting to take Skylar to bed I forgot to tell her I was helping Addison. I run my hair in frustration at myself. "I was just trying to be nice and didn't want to come across as a complete dick. Also she didn't leave me much of an option to tell her no about leaving the arena."
"That is suck a joke I have never known you to be afraid to say no." My girl has claws and she's using them. "So instead of telling someone who is little more than an acquaintance to me to back off you hurt me." Her next words stab me like a knife to my heart. "The person you claim to love." Why do I keep fucking up where she's concerned? I never should have left. "Thought today was suppose to be about you and me spending time together before everything becomes more hectic."
"I thought we were spending time together." I was about to add not my fault people were here, but thought better of it. I value my balls.
She laughs, well more like cackles, "you call that spending time together? We have two very different definitions about what spending time together means. Makes me wonder if our definition of what a relationship means is also different. And I've decided I'm not going to go on tour with you." What? I internally yell. No this can not be fucking happening. I know we should have staid in bed today and never came here.
My angry and fear consumes me causing me to tighten my hold on her. I also end up yelling at her. "Where the fuck is this coming from?" I then feel even more like shit when she flinches away from me and lowers her gaze from my eyes. Her eyes go in every other direction except to look into mine. I run my hand through my hair gathering my thoughts on how to fix this situation.
"Skylar," I say more gently, but I get no response from her so I try again. "Baby." This seems to do the trick because her gaze jumps to mine. My girl is crying when her eyes meet mine. I start to wipe the tears away hating for being the cause of them. I close my eyes hoping she misses my own tears fighting through. "Why?" I croak searching her eyes for answers.
Once again she glances at Addison. Why the fuck is this chick still outside? She's done nothing, but cause me and Skylar problems. If she had been a guy I would have punched her already. I know not all of this is Addison's fault I did add to it, but my angry is keeping me from thinking clearly. I wanted to blame someone and Addison was that someone.
"Because of her," I growl. Seems we both have jealous problems we need to over come.
"Not just because of her. She's only one in a long list of women I'm sure who will fight for your attention. But because you allowed it."
At this point I once again allow my emotions to rule me. A really bad habit of mine and one I need to work on taming. Especially since I want a forever kind of relationship with Skylar. I can't continue to go flying of the deep end. But apparently today is not that day. "Are you fucking kidding me," I roar and internally cringe at my choice in words. I take a step back needing a little breathing space to bring back my control before I really fuck this up. "I don't give a fuck about her or any one else on that list you are implying!"
"Dimitri that hurts my feelings," Addison pouts walking up to me and wrapping her arms around me. "But I'll forgive you this once." I'm having a sense of deja vu because I'm pretty sure the other women at the bar said something similar to me. Why can't women fucking leave me alone and see I'm with someone. Luckily I pull myself from my thoughts in time to back away before Addison was able to kiss me. I'll deal with the slight touches, but no way in hell is anyone kissing me other than Skylar.
I need to defend myself and fast before Skylar leaves my sorry ass for good. "Other than not wanting to seem like a dick the only other reason I was being friendly towards her was because I thought you were friends." At Skylar's shocked expression I could tell I had been lied to. I hate being lied to. I shift my eyes to Addison and seethe. "You told me that you and Skylar were close."
Addison shrugs as thought it was no big deal to lie to me. "I may have slightly exaggerated the truth. But what does it matter anyways. We will be perfect together." Like hell we would be.
Needing my girl in my arms I hide behind Skylar using her as a human shield. Staring directly into Addison eyes so she knows I mean business I say, "there is no us. Nor will there ever be an us! I love Skylar." I have someone else to aim my anger and I won't feel guilty after. Addison has the audacity to try and speak, but I cut her off, "Why the fuck would I want to be with you when I have her? You have no idea how fucking long I fought to be able to call her mine. So why the fuck would I throw everything away on someone I just met?"
My last few sentences were kind of aimed at Skylar because how could she think I would throw away everything we have for someone I just met. I've made some dumb mistakes in my life, but I'm not that dumb.
I spin Skylar so she's facing me and completely ignore Addison. "I love you. Only you." Hopefully my words are penetrating that hard head of hers. "You're right I shouldn't have let her touch me, but you have to cut me a little slack. I haven't been in a relationship in a long time. I hated her hands on me, but I thought she was a friend." Not being able to hold myself back any longer I crush her lips to mine. The kiss turns into something more than what I had intended, but than again why should I be surprises. All sense tends to leave me when Skylar is involved.
I pull away from her first knowing we have someone else we need to be and the faster we get dinner over with the faster we can go back to the hotel. But first her and I need to have a serious conversation before we destroy our new relationship because of our personal issues.
"We need to talk before we go to your parent's house." I tell her. "Do you know somewhere we can go where no one will interrupt us?"
She ponders my request for a moment then says, "I know a place and it is on the way actually."
"Good. Let's go then." The faster we can get away from this place the happier I will be. What started out as a nice day turn dark and I hope to bring it back into the light soon.
I take her hand and walk towards the car. Neither one of us says anything and the silence is killing me. It shouldn't be like this. Once we are seated in the car she gives me directions to the place. When we pull in I see she had brought us to a park that was tucked out of the way and there are very few cars here. Perfect.
I pull into a parking spot and turn the engine off. We exit the vehicle and walk over to one of the benches that line the small pond. I sit down and pull her next to me needing to feel her close to me. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees craving a moment to gather my thoughts. I sit back up and lean back on the bench with my eyes closed.
Her reaction runs deeper than what just happened today. This is something she has been carrying around with for awhile. Now since my head wasn't over come by anger I could see things more clearly. I've caused her to be insecure about herself. She has every right to second guess me. I
didn't walk away from her only once, but twice. And the second time was because I had met someone. But all of that was a lie that person kept me their dirty little secret. She never told her family and friends about me. Instead I showed up at her place to surprise her only to find she was fucking some dude that the family knew as her boyfriend. I was the side piece.
Never talked to her after that day. She tried to call me after and when I became famous she blew my phone up. I thought about answering her, sleeping with her and then telling her to fuck off. But I didn't. I was heartbroken, but I deserved what I got. Because I had hurt Skylar. Karma really is a bitch, but justly deserved in this situation.
I have much to atone to when it comes to Skylar and I will continue to do all that I can to be deserving of her. Who am I kidding I don't deserve her. Maybe she would have been better off with Keith. At least he never hurt her as deeply as I have.
Once I have control of my emotions and my thoughts have stopped racing I open me eyes and turns to face her, "I've really fucked up." She sends me a confused look so I continue, "And I'm not talking about today. Today was just a misunderstanding on both our parts. I'm talking about in general."
"What are you talking about?" Worry creeps into her voice and that one sentence is my undoing. Even now she isn't throwing my past mistakes in my face. Tears fall freely from my eyes and I'm not one to cry often.
My selfless girl wraps her warms about me and I warp my around her as though she it the only thing keeping me tethered to earth. I burry my face into her neck needing to be as close to her as I can get. She runs her fingers up and down my back soothing my broken soul.
"Dimitri it's okay. I'm here," she says gently.
"But for how long?" I whisper afraid to voice the words to loudly.
"For as long as you want me." I can hear the honesty in her voice. She wasn't walking away from me.
I kiss the side of her neck and a new lightness enters my tone, "then you're stuck with me for forever because I don't plan on ever letting you go."
"You have before." My thoughts from earlier surface and here is the proof I wasn't far from the truth. I still in her arms, but instead of pushing me away she tightens her hold on me. Baby I'm never going to let you go. You are the one for me. "Dimitri I'm so sorry. I never should have said that."
But she has ever right to say that. She has every right to think and feel however she feels. What she said was true. I have walked away, but I'm a different man now and I'm glad she can see that.
I pull myself from her and take her hand in mine feeling how small she is compared to me. "Don't be sorry. You are only saying the truth. I did let you go. Not once, but twice."
"But that is all in the past now." She says trying to reassure me, but I should be the one reassuring her.
I shake my head, "no. Sadly it is not. If the past was in the past than you wouldn't have brought it up today. But I deserve nothing less." Maybe this is the moment she realize I'm not worthy of her.
"Dimitri," she runs her fingers down my face.
"Your actions today showed me you don't trust me." She goes to speak, but I cut her off with a laugh not wanting to hear her denials. "Don't. I don't blame you time and time again I've done nothing, but break your trust. At some point it all had to catch up with me. Karama really is a bitch."
"I love you," she tells me kissing my shoulder and causing my heart stutter. Now she has tears flowing from her eyes. We make quite the pair. She rest her head on my shoulder an I run my fingers through her hair offering comfort.
"And I love you. So much." I need to lay all my cards on the table even if I ended up even more broken then I already am. "But loving you won't take away all the damage I've caused you over the years."
"What are you talking about?" I can hear the slight quiver in her voice.
"The back and forth of me wanting to be in a relationship with you. From today I can tell my actions are some of the reasons for your low self-esteem."
She nibbles on her lip while her brain processes my words. Her voice floats to my ears. "I would be lying to both of us if I said your actions in the past didn't hurt me. There were nights I would lay awake in bed and wonder why I wasn't good enough for you when all those others were. I guess over time it did chip away at my self-esteem. But you aren't the only reason for why I am the way I am."
I knew I had hurt her, but I never knew it was that bad. I should just walk away, but even as I think those words I know I can. She is burred so deeply in my heart I can never let her go. She is mine as I am hers.
"I know and I hate myself even more. Because if I hadn't of been such the chicken shit I was you never would have dated those other guys. You would have been mine and who knows where we would be right now."
"Dimitri everything happens for a reason. Stop beating yourself up over the what ifs. You are going to drive yourself crazy from it."
She still is trying to comfort me when I was trying to comfort me. Skylar really is something else.
I rise and kneel before her and she rest her hand against me cheek. All I can see is the love she has for me shinning in her eyes. "Skylar even back then I knew you are the one. But I wasn't ready to settle down. I wanted to see else the word had to offer." She flinches and a sadness creeps into her eyes. I know my words have stung her, but she needed to hear them so the healing could start. "But you know what I found?"
She shakes her head and more tears fall. I wipe them away with my thumbs. "Nothing baby. I found nothing because no matter who I was with or what I was doing my thoughts were always consumed by you. I love you more than anything in this world. If I ever have to give up music in order to be with you I would without a second thought. You are my end game baby."
She kisses me catching my off guard for a second, but once I recover I stoke the fire between us from embers to a burning inferno. My dick lengthens in my pants even though I know this is the worse time for something like that.
She's the one to end the kiss. "We should stop before this gets out of control." But I like being out of control with you.
"Agreed," I say only half true. I run my fingers over her face wanting to remember this moment always. "I wish I could tell you that what happened today will never happen again, but I can't. Sadly women throwing themselves at me and begging for my attention happens more then I care for it to." I say dryly.
"Are you sure you want me," she asks me softly.
"Why are you still doubting yourself and the pull you have over me. I should be the one asking you if you still want me. Loving me is not going to be easy."
"Nothing worth it ever is. You can have any women you want Dimitri. So why me?"
I return to my seat next to her and take her hand in mine. Baby you better settle in this could take awhile. I stare into her beautiful eyes. Why you? Because you make me want to be a better man. You are the only one who can read me like an open book. Baby you keep be grounded and centered. And let's not forget how gorgeous you are." She shakes her head no at my words. "Don't even try to deny that. Do you know how many men I've had to watch these last few days aim lustful glances your way?"
"No."
How does Skylar not know how gorgeous she is? I need to do a better job in letting her know.
"Too many. Way to many." I tell her become upset once again over others wanting her. "And some of those men were even my band mates and they know how I feel about you. I could continue to list all the reason why I chose you and will continue to choose you. But the main one and the only one that matters is because no matter what happened you never stopped loving me and I you."
"I do love you Dimitri so much that sometimes as cliché as it may sound it hurts." She confesses making my heart soar.
"Baby I feel the same way." My insecurities force me to ask, "so I ask you why would you want to be with me when all I seem to do is give you heartache?"
"For all the same reasons you listed." She tells me with a smile
"I make you want to be a better man." I say with laughter wanting to lighten the mood and hear her laughter instead of her tears.
She shoves me, "don't start you know exactly what I mean."
"Skylar do you have something you need to tell me." At her confused expression I continue in a whisper. "Are you secretly a man?"
She shoves me again and I play it up a little bit by falling off the bench. I roll around in the grass laughing. When I peek at her she is sitting there glaring at me with her arms crossed and I laugh even harder.
"No way am I answer that! Ass!"
I take deep breaths trying to gain some control back from my giggle fit. "But you still love me," I remind her.
She rolls her eyes, "lucky me."
I shoot off the ground and stalk towards her like a lion hunting their pray. I'll show her just how lucky she is. "Lucky me you say." Then I attack by tickling her and her laughter fills me with joy. She calls uncle way quicker than I thought she would.
Now back to the serious stuff. I need to know she can deal with women throwing themselves at me because what happened today could happen again. And she needs to trust me that I'm not going to cheat on her.
"As much as it would pain me I need to know you are going to be able to watch women throw themselves at me. I'm not trying to sound cocky. This is something you need to seriously think about."
"Dimitri you really do know how to kill the mood," she says sounding irritated.
"Not trying to babe. I'm not. I just don't want my career to destroy you. Destroy us." I want to be as transparent as I can be.
She ponders my statement way longer than I thought she would. I start to worry that she will be the one walking away this time and I don't know what I would do. I know I should let her walk a way, but I also know me.
"What if we had some ground rules?" She asks nibbling on the lip I want to nibble on.
I think for a moment about her idea and the longer I ponder her idea the more I like it. This will give us something to fall back on and give us guidelines. So I nod my head in agreement and say, "Okay. What are you considering in that pretty head of yours."
"Number one don't let them touch you any more that necessary." This must really bother her if this was the first rule she came up with. "I get you will have to take pictures with them and get close for that."
This one will be easy to follow. I already don't like others touching me. "Done that won't be a problem." I also think this rule should apply to Skylar the image of other men touching her stokes my alpha male side. "Same goes to you for men. Because once the male population realizes you are with me some will try to steel you."
She snorts, "why?"
Did she really just ask me that? I chuckle while responding. "You really have no idea how beautiful you are. They also will love nothing more then to be able to brag how they were able to steal my girl."
"I think you are delusional," she says rolling her eyes.
"We shall see my love. So what is rule number two?" I ask returning to my seat next to her enjoying this list we are making even though we only have two rules so far.
"Don't allow yourself to be left alone with any of them." Only did that when I was trying to get laid and now that I have Skylar I don't need the others and nor do I desire anyone else.
"Again another rule that will be easy to follow because I plan on having you next to me always." Having her at my side won't stop all the women, but it should stop most. At least I hope it does with some of these thirsty women you never know.
"But what of the times we aren't together?" Sadly that is going to happen when she returns back here for work. I don't like thinking about her not being with me.
"How about we cross that bridge when we come to it?" I ask her not wanting to face her coming back home just yet.
"Okay." Unless I can convice her to stay. I'm sure Aubree will be hiring a new assistant after this tour. Seems to be the pattern. Shit I need to text Aubree still about flying out here. Why do I remember at the worse possible times?
"Any other rules?" I ask me linking our fingers together and kissing her hand.
She thinks for a moment before responding. "Not that I can think of right now. Can we always revisit this?"
"Of course. As long as I'm able to add my own rules." I'm sure once my head isn't spinning from anything that happened today I will think of some rules I want.
"Sounds like a plan to me." She rests her head on my shoulder and he runs I run fingers through my hair loving the feeling of it on my fingers.
"So... are you still coming on tour with me?" I ask praying she changed her mind about going. I don't just want her there I need her there. Big difference. I will do anything to convince her to go with us.
She sits there dragging the moment out causing my heart to rise to my throat in worry. "Yes," she finally says and my muscles relax.
"Thank God," I say before slamming my lips against hers. "I was so afraid you wouldn't want to."
"Not going to lie I thought about not going, but after our talk I realized that I would not only be hurting you but also myself. I want to give us a fighting chance and the way I figure this is the best way to be able to."
"Agreed." Shit, I forgot about the paparazzi and how they like to print lies. We also have to worry about they trying to rip us apart to sell a story. "Hey Skylar?"
"Yes," she lifts her head off my shoulder.
"Promise me that no matter what happens you won't jump to conclusions without talking to me first. So, many lies are floating around about me especially with the press. I will also do the same for you." This is one of the most important promises we can make one another.
"I promise," she tells me with no hesitation. "Communication is one of the most important pieces that make a relationship work."
"Kiss me to seal the deal." I demand and she kisses me with no argument. "Ready to go?"
She sighs, "I guess. My parents are probably starting to worry. Plus I still need to pack for the tour." I love hearing her say how she's coming with me. I want to scream it from the roof tops.
I stand and reach for her hand pulling her up next to me. We hold hands as we walk back to the car. I open the door for her and she gets into the car. I walk to the other side and slide in next to her. We leave the park closer then we had been when we arrived and head to her parents house. Sadly the drive isn't very long and we are already sitting in her driveway. I was nervous about seeing them and about how they would handle the news about her going with me.
Skylar places her hand over mine. "Hey don't be so nervous. You've already spoken to mom over the phone before."
I sigh because talking to them and meeting them in person are two different things. "I know, but still this is the first time I'm officially meeting your parents. Not to mention you are about to tell them how you are leaving with me for the summer."
"Last I checked I'm an adult and don't need their permission to do something." She says flashing her claws again. "Everything is going to be okay." She glances outside the car. "The only issue is going to be when we get out of this car and you are mobbed by people."
"Don't worry I have a plan for that. Last thing we need is the press realizing where I'm at and having them all over your front yard." I reach behind for a hoodie and baseball cap.
"Isn't it a little hot for a hoodie?" She ask with a raised brow. Maybe so but they are great for hiding in plan sight. Then again it is summer and I might stand out like a sore thumb.
"It is but it will help to hide me." I put the hoodie on and the baseball cap. Then to finish my ensemble I put on the hood and a pair of sunglasses.
"Now are you ready? I swear takes you longer to get out of the car then it does for me to get ready for a night out," she mumbles.
"Oh really?" I reach out to tickle me to make her eat her words, but she escapes from me and runs across the front yard. Game on Skylar. I will catch you and make you pay. She has me chasing her all around the front yard.
Eventually I catch her and we tumble to the grass in a tangle of arms and legs. Both of us are laughing like a bunch of kids. I end up next to her and she adjust herself in a way I can see her face, but I move her into my side.
"These are the moments I miss." I confess and she raises her brow at me. "Ever since being signed these little moments are a thing of the past. I don't get to just relax. I'm running from one concert to another or working on the next CD."
"Maybe you need to start taking some time off for you. Before you get completely burned out." She says running her fingers over my chest.
I take a second to think over her words and she is right. We have been slowly burning ourselves out. After the second leg of this tour we were suppose to be working on the next album, but maybe we can sneak in some time for us. We have more than enough money that if we didn't want to work another day we didn't have to. My girl is so brilliant!
I kiss the side of her head, "baby you're right. I was so lost in the rock star life I sorta lost myself. And now that I have you I want to make time for other things."
"Sounds like a plan to me. Now let's head in and enjoy some of my mom's cooking."
We stand and head towards the house. Before we go in though I take her in my arms and kiss her wanting to get this all out as much as I could before we headed inside. She melts against me causing my dick to once again awaken. Note to self take a trip to the bathroom first thing.
When we walk inside we call out our hellos. Her mom says they are in the kitchen. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I have two situations I need to take care of. Once I've taken care of the first one, and yes I had to beat myself off in her parents bathroom to get my dick under control. Not one of my prouder moments, but I was desperate. I really wanted to make a good impression on her parents and walking up to them with a boner was not it.
Next I take out my phone and send Aubree a text tell her I need her in Chicago tomorrow morning.
Why?
I have a girlfriend. And I need to you work your magic with getting her introduced to the fans.
Shit. Dimitri are you sure?
Be here in the morning.
Fine. See you in the morning.
One more thing. Everything else set for tomorrow?
Yes.
I could tell she wasn't pleased about this, but I don't care. Skylar and I are together and this is part of Aubree's job. I leave the bathroom and make my way to my funeral I mean dinner with her parents.
~*~
Surprisingly I found myself enjoying spending time with her parents. Dinner was delicious. I miss home cook meals. Being on the road makes it hard for us to cook actual dinners. The only down side was when her mom kept bring up her teaching job. But Skylar kept telling her not to worry. Took Skylar way to long to pack. She couldn't make up her mind on what to bring. I kept telling her grab some clothes and if she needs anything else I'll buy it. Which started a whole another argument that force me sneak out to their back deck for a moment of serenity.
Skylar flops on to the bed the moment we are back in the room. "Did you remember to book me a plane ticket for tomorrow."
Fine time to be asking me that. Would be a little to late now if it wasn't already booked. But I could tell she asked this out of nerves so I didn't give her a hard time. This experience was completely foreign to her and I need to remember that.
"Of course babe," I tell her laying on the bed next to her and tucking her into my side. Finally we are back. She rests her head on my chest and slips her arm over my waist. Once again I find myself running my finger through her silky hair. I can't seem to help myself when she is near me.
"This is nice," she sighs snuggling closer to me. Agreed. Hence another reason I wanted to say in bed all day.
I'm reminded that once we get on to the bus we won't have to many days like this. I will be busy with shows and what not. Not to mention the public is going to know about us and this will all change. We have been hiding and being normal. But I'm not normal. "Enjoy this while it last. Because tomorrow everything is about to change." Even I can hear the emptiness in my voice.
She adjusts herself and stares into my eyes. "What's wrong?" She asks running her fingers over the side of my face. I can tell by her eyes she is reading to much into my words.
"Skylar stop." I stay in a firm voice wanting her dark thoughts to cease. "You forgot how well I know you. I love you. Only you." I cup her face in my hands and bring my lips down to hers and kiss her gently holding myself back from ravishing her the way I want to.
"Then why the faraway look in your eyes," she whispers out of insecurity.
I sigh, "these last few days we have been in a bubble and all of that is about to change. Sure some people know about our relationship, but once we step out of this hotel tomorrow the world is going to know."
I leave the bed to stare out the window needing some space because I hate myself for dragging her into this world. She never asked for any of this when she talked to a random eighteen year old boy all those years ago. Hell all of this was only a dream that I thought I would never achieve.
And Skylar has always been then, but only as a friend after we got signed. We had tried dating before I was what I am now. Will she still want me after she sees my life style. Sure we aren't any where as crazy as we use to be. Years and experiences have mellowed us greatly. For awhile there we had forgotten about the music. Those were some dark time. Thank God we had Aubree to kick out asses.
How is she going to handle all of this? Her privacy is about to be gone. People are going to want to know what she wears, likes to eat and I could continue the list because they will want to be like her. She is going to struggle with knowing who really cares about her. What if this turns out to be to much for her? I can't lose her. I'd give this all up before it came to that. I've had years to adjust to this.
Now I have this wonderful amazing women as mine and I love her more than I have ever loved any other women. Let's be honest I never loved the other I was only in lust with them. She says I never gave her her heart back. Well she never gave me back mine.
I feel a pair of arms around me and at first I was startled by her action but I relax in her hold. She kisses the back of my shoulder, "I love you too. So much." She rest her forehead on my back. I remain frozen wishing time would stop and we could stay like this always. She breaks the silence. "Maybe talking about what tomorrow will being might help."
Maybe. I nod my head and turn in her arms to face her, "if we are having this conversation then I want you in my arms." I need to trap her so she can't run from me. I lead her to the bed and rest with my back against the headboard. At first she goes to sit next to me and that won't do. So I position her between my legs and wrap my arms around her. She leans back into me rest her head on my shoulder.
"So," she says drawing random shapes on my arms.
"Your life is about to change Skylar. And I'm scared," I confess burying my face into the side of her neck.
I'm such a pansy to admit that out loud to her. But it's the truth. I am scared. And now the words seem to be lingering in the air between us.
"Baby why are you scared?"
I've already opened the door and now it's time to walk through it. I give her a slight squeeze and then tell her the thoughts running through my head. "I know I down play my fame all the time, but at the end of the day I am a famous Rockstar. And with my career choice there are some down sides. One of them is lack of privacy."
She nods he head letting me know she's following along so I continue. "There are going to be people that are going to want us to fail and some of those people are the media. That's why I made you promise to always talk to me first before you jump to conclusions if you hear something or see something. You have to remember they will print or say anything if it will sell papers or rise their ratings."
She links her fingers with mine. Connecting us. "Dimitri I said it before and I'll say it now I promise I will always come to you first. I love you Dimitri not the Rockstar."
I love she loves me for me and that is one of the main reasons why I love her. But she keeps forgetting that we are one on the same. In private I'm just Dimitri, but in the public eye I'm the rock star. What if she's only accepted on side of me and not the other. This could case major problems for us.
"But we go hand in hand babe. At this point you can't be with one and not the other. I've managed to keep our relationship out of the media, but that is only going to last so long. My manager is coming over tomorrow so we can start to formulate a plan of action and guide you into this new world you are entering." Worry leaks into my voice and I run my fingers through my hair.
Skylar tries to wiggle out of my hold, but I prevent her from leaving. This is why I wanted her in my arms. When she realizes she isn't going anywhere she stops. Instead she says, "I'm not going to let the media get between us Dimitri. You mean to much to me."
Weariness creeps into my voice while I speak. "You say that now, but wait. This is one of the reasons I didn't want to try a relationship with you. At least when we were just friends things weren't complicated."
A snort escapes from her, "not complicated? Please. We have always been nothing, but complicated." She has a point there. "Neither one of us wanting to take the rick of a relationship in fear of it coming between our friendship." She really is insightful. A curse and a blessing. I squeeze her more tightly against me if that's possible. "Am I not worth the fight? Because I would fight for you."
My breaks at her thinking I wouldn't fight for her. I would do so much more than just fight. I would give up body parts if I had to. Little dramatic I know, but that's how much she means to me. How important this relationship is to me.
I burry my nose back into her neck and kiss up her neck to her ear. "Baby you are more than worth fighting for," I whisper into her ear. "Sorry for making you think other wise. I just need you to truly realize what it means to be with me because these last few days we have been living in a protected bubble and the bubble is about to pop. Your entire life is about to change and it wouldn't be fair of me to not remind you of that."
She shifts in my arms to face me. "I need you to listen to me and I mean really listen to me. When you asked me to be yours I knew what I was walking into." She shrug her shoulders, "sure I may not completely understand everything and I may not have thought about how much my life is about to change, but Dimitri," she says cupping my chin in her hands, "you mean the world to me. Through everything I've been through it has always been you and will continue to always be you. If I have to deal with some stupid people to be with you bring them on. I love to see them try and tear you away from me."
She takes my breath away with not only her outer beauty, but also her inner beauty. As easily as I can read her like an open book she can read me. A feeling of peace washes over me because this time it seems different in a good way. This time it was meant to work. We had finally found the right time for us.
I smiles and brushes away the tears that had leaked from her eyes. "Do you know how much I love you?"
"About as much as I love you."
I shake my head denying her loving me more and turn her so she's straddling me. She can probably feel my dick pressing against her. She places her hands around my neck and I brush her hair to her back wanting to see her face. "No baby," I inform her resting resting my forehead against hers, "so much more."
I kiss her desperate to have her lips against mine. After the serious conversation we has I need to burry myself so far into her to the point we don't know where one of us end and the other starts. She follows me lead in the kiss and I slide a hand down to firmly grip her ass. As I do so a moan falls from her lips and straight to my dick. She then starts to rub herself against me and I love knowing she wants me as much as I want her.
Not wanting to wait any longer I flip us so she's laying beneath me never separating my lips from hers. We can play out my cowgirl fantasy another day. I need to be in charge. A slight whimper escapes from her when I leave her lips to remove her of her shirt. I need to see her and touch her.
"So beautiful," I tells her enjoying the display before me. I run my fingers around her bra itching to remove it. She arches her back begging me to remove her bra. "So impatient love," I chuckle even though I want the same thing. I free her breasts from her bra and place a kiss on each of her nipples. She latches on to my head and tries to guide me back to her chest, but as much as I want to play I have a better idea. I slide of the bed and meet the gaze of a very pissed Skylar. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing.
"I believe you promised me a shower," I remind her with a wink. "Don't think I forgot baby." See something better planned. I've been wanting to share this experience with her since this morning.
I can feel her eye on my while I remove my clothes and can tell how much my body turns her on by the way she is squirming on the bed. Normally this would make be feel dirty or worthless when other women did this, but with her I find myself standing taller.
"You coming?" I asks her walking to the bathroom without commenting on the hunger in her eyes. I stop at the bathroom door and see her checking out my ass. A chuckle escapes drawing her eyes from my body to mine. "Look all you want baby I'm all yours, but know you won't be getting any till you join me in this shower." I continue into the bathroom without waiting for her response.
She leaves me waiting in the shower for awhile that I worry I'm going to have to take care of myself for a second time today. What could she be doing? She better not be getting herself off that's my job. At thought of her touching herself I start to stroke my dick imagining her hands and mouth on me. My dick swells even more in my hands and my hunger for her rises. If she's not her soon I'm going back out there and dragging her from the bed.
I sense someone watching me so I open my eyes and discover her standing naked on the other side of the glass. I run my eyes over her taking my turn to enjoy the view before me.
Without a word I slides the door open in invitation and once she enters I have her in my arms raining kisses along her neck. "I was afraid the water would turn cold before you got in here." I tell her between kisses.
"Never would I make you wait that long." She tells me bringing my lips from her neck to hers for a kiss.
"Damn you better not," I say before crushing her lips against mine. The kiss picks up where we had left off before I reminded her of her promise to shower with me. She wraps her arms tightly around me and I push her against the shower wall with my arms caging her. "This is more like it. So much better than my shower this morning."