T O X I C
Thomas
I wince at the bright sun that's seeping into the room. It casts golden highlights over Isabelle, catching her stray hairs and the ends of her eyelashes. I adjust the covers over my naked body, feeling rejuvenated and fresh.
I fondly recall what happened last night - maybe moving slowly wasn't a bad idea after all. Maybe I'll take her to visit her parents more often.
With the back of my fingers, I brush the side of her messy hair. She stirs, giving me a dopey smile, still very asleep. Her eyes meet mine for less than a second and she heavily closes them again. I let out a chuckle before stroking the cold skin of her face.
"You're amazing, do you know that?" I whisper, scooping her up towards me
"Yeah." She answers sleepily.
"Oh you do, do you?" I start ticking underneath her armpits making her fall into fits of croaky squeals. She kicks out under the sheets, managing to tickle my sides back. We both have to stop, the laughter giving me stitches.
"Come on." I kiss her forehead. "Let's get up."
"Five more minutes." She complains and buries herself under the covers.
"I'm getting up now." I fling forward, jumping out of bed. "Once you're up you can watch over me while I make some breakfast for us, okay?"
"Mmhm." I grab my phone and leave her still cuddled up in bed, a skip in my step as I head for the kitchen. I raid the cupboard, getting out everything I think I'll need. On the side, my cell buzzes and I glance over to see Mom's picture on my screen. I tap on the little green button.
"Hey honey, how are you?" She greets me.
"Hi Mom, I'm good thanks." I stretch my arms out with a yawn, perching on a stool around the island. "How are you?"
"I'm well. All is fine over here. Do you think you have everything you need for next week?"
"Yeah. I got some wedding presents as well. Elliot swung by."
"Oh that's nice!" She replies, cheerily. "So what are you up to?"
"Not much. I've got to finish up some college work and then I'll be able to chill out for a few days."
"Well, I thought I'd check in now because I'm going to be up to my neck in work for the next few days."
"Oh really?" I ask, picking at the end of a banana that sits in the fruit bowl. "How come?"
"Well, I'm taking days off for this extensive trip. You know, my wedding was only celebrated on one day with a weeks honeymoon, not a week celebrating with another two week holiday." She explains, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Well, yeah. That's because he's an asshole." I shrug.
"Thomas-." I don't catch the rest of her sentence because I look up, seeing Isabelle coming through into the kitchen.
Her hair is tied up and she's drowning in an oversized hoodie. She wrinkles her nose, still waking herself up. Her lips are lined with a glossy lip balm and her cheeks are a little pink from the morning.
"I'll be two minutes." I explain to her, holding up the right amount of fingers.
"Okay." She smiles.
"Oh, is that Isabelle?" Mom inquires down the line.
"Yeah." I respond bluntly.
"Why don't you put her on the phone for me?" She presses.
"Mom, no. I'm not going to do that." I scoff, shaking my head. Isabelle rotates, glancing over.
"Come on. I just want to say hi." She pleads.
"No. We're cooking now so I've got to go. Love you. Bye."
"Thom-." I hang up before I can hear another word.
"Is everything alright?" She comes up behind me as I put my phone face down. Her hands melt into the warmth of my bare chest.
"Yeah. It was just Mom. She was pestering to say hello, that's all." I explain, brushing it off.
"And you said no?" She tilts her head over my shoulder, looking down at me with a frown.
"Well I didn't know if you wanted to or not." I answer.
She recoils away, peeling her touch off of me and turning to look at the excessive amount of ingredients that I've laid out.
Oh no. Has that pissed her off? How have I already pissed her off in the first twenty minutes of the day.
"Are you upset?" I stand, nervous with worry.
"No." She answers, slowly spinning to see me. She pushes her mouth to one side and makes sure to avoid my eyes. "It's just a little strange that you'd think I wouldn't want to."
"I'm sorry." I step forward with my hands out, attempting to get her to look at me. "I didn't know what to think. God, I'm so bad at this." I grumble, combing through my thick hair. I sidle up next to her and tilt my head. She gives me a short smile which I don't buy. "Is-." I start softly.
"It's fine." She lets out an almost laugh. "It doesn't matter." She pats her hands down on the counter, picking up her mood. "Right, what are we making!?"
**
Isabelle
While sorting out the laundry, my phone starts violently buzzing in my back pocket. I fish it out and answer the call straight away.
"Isabelle!" Eva blubbers on the other end, hysterically crying.
"Oh my god Eva." I instantly stop what I'm doing and dive into my room. "What's wrong?"
"I've made... the biggest – mistake." She wails. I perch on the end of my bed.
"Okay. Eva, take a deep breath with me." I guide her to take several breaths and she attempts, her crying cutting her out. "Right, what's happened?"
"I want Violet back." She states. I rub my tired face with my hand. "But I don't think she'll take me back."
"Why do you think that?" I question, calmly.
"I broke up with her over the phone. That was such a shitty thing for me to do. I know Vi like the back of my hand, she won't want to forgive me." She sniffs. "Have you seen her? How is she?"
"I'm not going to lie, she's been rough. She's slowly coming to terms with it but she's definitely putting on a brave face." A shaky breath sounds through the phone. "Eva, did you speak to your parents?"
"Yeah I did." She answers. Her voice gives no indication of how she feels about it.
"Well, what did they say?"
"I could tell they were a little uncomfortable but that might've been because I practically shouted it out at them." She starts. "We don't ever talk about relationships anyways so that could be another reason. But they told me they'd always love me. No matter what."
"Eva, that's great." I beam, happy for her. "That's such a good step."
"But now I feel stupid. I acted on behalf of people I was worried wouldn't accept me over someone who already does."
"So you've not tried to speak to Violet?"
"She called when I first got back and I didn't answer any of them. Now that I've cleared my head, I don't think she'll give me the chance to apologize an-and make things right."
"I don't know. She is stubborn, like you said but she loves you. She does." I comfort.
"When I come back, I want to try and speak to her face to face so she has to talk to me. I'm staying out here for a little while longer than I originally planned so please don't say anything to Violet."
"No. Of course I won't." I nod reassuringly even though she can't see me. I hear a muffled voice in the background.
"Thank you. I've got to go. I'll speak to you soon."
"Okay. Bye." I hang up, dropping against the bed with an exhausted sigh.
Of course, I want them to get back together. But Violet's pretty certain that she's better off now and doesn't need Eva. When she comes back, it's either going to fix things or make everything a whole lot harder.
Eventually, I force myself to stand up. I drag my body through the hall out to where Thomas is on the couch, loading up a video game. He double takes at the sight of my puzzled face.
"What? What is it?" He questions.
"Eva wants Violet back..." He throws me a surprised look. "Yup."
**
The music blares out of the club as I stand in line beside Violet, Sam and Thomas. It's freezing outside and I obviously didn't think about it otherwise I wouldn't have picked the short dress that I chose to wear. Wesley, Paige, Charlie and Owen are apparently somewhere further down in the line, waiting to get in. I wrap my arms around myself and move forward. We have no problem getting in and once we are, my eyes adjust to the darkness.
Multicolored lights flash over the dance floor that's packed full already. We make our way over to the bar, Thomas staying by my side to guide me past the sweaty, drunk bodies that have their eyes on me. While at the bar, I slide up next to Violet who's trying to catch the attention of the busy bartender.
"Hey, have you spoken to Eva at all?" I ask, nonchalantly. Creases form in between her eyebrows.
"Pfft no." She replies. "Hey, can I get a vodka red bull?"
I haven't said anything about the phone call I had with Eva yesterday but I really want to. I won't though because I promised Eva that I wouldn't.
After all our drinks get served, the others all show up. Paige looks great, wearing a dark green satin dress. She can't keep her eyes off of Wesley who has made a lot more effort than usual. He does look very handsome. We all fit around in a booth that has the perfect view of the rest of the club. There's a slight segregation between the boys and the girls so we have a bit of a gossip and a catch up.
Violet seems to be guzzling her alcohol down like it's water and it looks like everyone else is trying to keep up with her apart from me. There should at least be one sensible person in the group, after all.
As the night gets on, Thomas gets progressively more and more drunk. I can already tell, the rest of my night will consist of making sure he's not being stupid and putting him to bed. The three of us girls all go to the restrooms together and on my way back, I stop to order myself another drink, sending Violet and Paige back to the booth.
I peer over the well lit bar, tapping the edge of my card against the surface to the beat of the music playing. I wait until the bartender isn't so busy so I can ask without rushing him. I feel a pair of eyes on me so I glance over to the right. A well-dressed man, with waves of blonde hair and a polite smile is looking up at me as I'm slightly taller than him in my heels.
"Hi. I'm Carl." He introduces himself.
"Hi Carl." I return, uninterested but making sure I sound polite.
"Can I buy you a drink?" He has to lean in slightly so I can hear him.
"I'm getting one." I shake my head with a kind smile. "Thank you for offering though."
"No worries." He steps back with a nod. A gust of cold air rushes past me.
"What do you want?" Thomas steams in, standing beside me with his chest puffing out. I flush, mortified. With both of my hands, I try to move him back but he's strong enough to keep his feet firmly planted where he is.
"Thomas, it's fine." I hush. He's not even looking at me, his stern eyes fixed on the other guy.
"Trying to hit on my girl?" His voice is sharp and challenging. My body is washed through with irritation.
I'm annoyed by his comment. It doesn't feel protective, it feels possessive. It's funny, especially considering how he wouldn't let his girl say hello to his own Mom over the phone.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had a boyfriend." Carl struggles, apologizing.
"Last time I checked, I didn't either." I respond through gritted teeth, mainly to Thomas. I turn back to Carl, giving him my best kind smile. "I'm really sorry, I hope you have a good night."
Switching on my heels, I take off in the other direction practically dragging Thomas with me. I stop at the other end of the bar.
I definitely would like another drink now.
"Why did you do that? You did not need to do that?" I ask, annoyed.
"If a guy is offering to buy you a drink, he is expecting you to hook up with him later on." He explains, his words slurring and his mouth slanted.
"I told him that I was okay and that I didn't want a drink. I handled it – not that it was anything to have to handle until you showed up." I gesture at him.
"You said I wasn't your boyfriend."
"Because you're not!" I throw my hands up in the air in front of me. My anger fades with my next words.
"You're not my boyfriend. But I wasn't ever going to accept a drink off of him or any other guy in here other than who we're with, okay?" He clenches his jaw a few times as I search his eyes until he relaxes.
"Fine. Okay." He gives in to me.
"Do not act like that again. Please?" He attentively strokes the side of my face.
"I'm just trying to look out for you." He drunkenly explains.
"I get that. I do. But maybe tone down the alpha male a little bit." He rolls his eyes but nods.
He glues himself to my side while I wait to get another drink. We don't speak and I can tell that inside he's still enraged. I push what happened to the side in an attempt to enjoy the rest of the night. We get back to the booth and Thomas slumps down among everyone else.
"I've just seen the hottest girl in the crowd. I'm going to go try and find her." Violet says, shaking my arm.
"Ooh yeah! Let's go dance." Paige jumps up, excitedly. She holds her arms out to Wesley. "Will you come on the dance floor with me?"
"Of course." He takes her hand and presses a kiss to the back of it.
"Are you coming?" She touches my shoulder on her way past.
I nod as they both grin, rushing to go find a spot on the dance floor. I hopefully look at Thomas with a smile but he desperately avoids my eyes, looking anywhere else. I lick my lips and roll them together.
"Thomas?" He looks up at me, unimpressed. "Do you want to come and dance with me?"
"No." He replies coldly.
I feel like I've been punched in the gut but I shouldn't be surprised. I know he doesn't like dancing. I chew on the inside of my mouth, standing awkwardly in front of everyone that shares the uncomfortable silence between us, despite the booming music that's playing.
"I'll finish my drink and then I will." Sam beams, swooping in.
"Okay." I give him a short smile. He subtly gestures his head at Thomas, who is now scrolling through his phone. I know now that he's going to check in with him first.
I leave them, finding the others on the dance floor. I spin around with Violet for a little while until her purple head turns around and makes eye contact with the girl, I assume, she was talking about earlier. They both smile at each other and she moves away to dance with her.
I look over and see Paige and Wesley wrapped around each other. Their eyes are locked, their bodies tight, their smiles massive. Everyone else is in a sweaty tangled mess, none of them with a care in the world, all of them just enjoying the music.
I falter, feeling a little out of place and lost. I hold my hair back off of my face and step away to make my exit off of the dance floor.
"Hey." I get blocked by a familiar voice. "Where are you going? You owe me a dance." Charlie grins in front of me. I narrow my eyes.
"Since when?"
"Since right now." He answers.
I chuckle and it forces me to feel slightly better. After a few moments, he manages to find his rhythm. I dance in a circle around him until he takes my hand and twists it around my head for me to spin around.
"Are you alright?" He asks. I nod, convincingly. He pulls out some ridiculous moves to make me smile, both of us kind of knowing that I'm not feeling the best. Charlie has to lean close to my ear to speak because otherwise I don't hear him.
"You know? I did ballet when I was a kid." He raises an eyebrow.
"No way." I laugh, my hands on his shoulders as I lean in to reply.
"Yeah, I was top of my class." I gesture to the open space beside him as he boasts.
"Well then. I think I need some proof." He tries to do a pirouette but loses balance and knocks into me. We stumble around, tipsily laughing together.
In just a few moments, Thomas comes barging through, steam coming out of his ears. His usual, sparkling green eyes are glazed over as if he can't really see out of them. He's so drunk, he can't get his words out to form an applicable sentence.
"Charlie! Back off man." He has a go at him. Bystanders on the dance floor look around to watch, cocking their eyebrows.
Between the phone call with him Mom, Thomas stepping in with that guy earlier and right now – I'm furious.
"Thomas. Stop it." I grab his shoulders to yank him back. Charlie responds with something I don't quite hear.
In the movement of everyone else, I lose my footing and get knocked down. It's like the music's been paused and the world has stopped spinning when I hit the ground, clattering onto my side.
Even with my eyes squeezed shut, my mind can only see Nate. He's stood above me, in the kitchen, rage in his wide eyes. His heavy hand bounces my head off of the floor again and again when I don't respond to whatever he's screaming and shouting about. A metallic taste lingers in my mouth. My hands shaking hands are tightly curled up in fists. My body is trapped underneath the presence of his.
There's a ringing in my ears, my memories keeping me hostage from the real world. My eyes peel open after what feels like hours but it's hardly even been a second.
Thomas falters, concern in his eyes when he looks down at me. But then his face ignites with an angry fire and he storms off. Wesley and Charlie gently help me off the floor. I can't hear what anyone is saying to me while I watch the back of Thomas' head as he filters through the crowd.
"Is, he's just acting out." Sam's voice echoes. I'm pretty sure I hear a few people asking if I'm okay in which I nod silently, escaping the stuffy dance floor. Someone presses play and I come back to reality.
I choke out, meeting the cold air of the night. My face stings and my eyes water. I swallow and take a few moments to calm myself down. I scan around until I spot him moodily leaning against the brick wall of the adjoining building. His hair hangs over his face, his knee propped up. A burning end of a cigarette lights up in his hand.
"I thought you hated smoking." Is the only thing I manage to say through the lump in my throat.
"I do." He responds. My heels tap as I take a step to get closer to him.
"Yeah, looks that way." I comment sarcastically, shaking my head. He flicks ash off of the end, still not looking at me. "What are you doing Thomas? This isn't like you."
"I'm drunk and... pissed off." He slurs. I wrap my arms around my middle, protecting myself from the nipping cold night.
"At what? That a man spoke to me? That I danced with someone else because you won't dance? That I laughed at a joke with your friend?" I reel off.
"You know what Charlie is like around you." He mutters, taking a short and repulsed breath of the cigarette.
"Then that's on him! Even then, none of those things give you the right to act that way, especially when I've already said not to." He rolls his eyes. "I'm sure a lot of girls would love it. They'd fall at your feet."
He finally looks up at me, his eyes are stormy, angry – unfamiliar. Almost unrecognizable.
"You're not like other girls here. We already know that." He spits, unimpressed. "Quit making it about my reputation."
"I'm not making it anything! I'm trying to get you to understand that what you've done today isn't acceptable." I cry out, desperation laced in my voice.
"Fine. I don't fucking like it either but I can't help but feel jealous. I only acted that way because-."
"No!" I cut him off with a scoff. "Don't stand there and say that it's because you care about me. It's the classic excuse. And it's exactly what Nate would say so I'm sure you can see how the lines often blur."
"I am not Nate. I am nothing like him. Don't you dare try and say that I am." His cheekbones are razor sharp, his voice licked with disgust.
I recall the look on his face when he saw me on the floor. He was concerned. For a fleeting moment he was and then his anger took over.
"I know you care about me." I sigh, stepping towards him. "But your behavior tonight... doesn't show that. It doesn't make me feel safe or cared about. God, it doesn't even make me annoyed anymore. But do you know what it does make me?"
"What?" He responds sharply.
"Less interested." I state.
"Great." He nods sarcastically, turning his mouth up. "So now... you don't even like me?" I hear the door open from behind me, the music muffling when it's shut again.
"I don't like the way you behaved-."
"God. You sound like a fucking parent!" He scrunches his face up, fed up.
"Maybe because you're acting like a god damn child-."
"Maybe you should just shut the fuck up!" He shouts out, his bellowing voice echoes down the street. The volume makes my skin jump and my throat clog up. I can't believe he's just said that to me.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" My voice is a whisper that cuts through the air. I can't speak any louder otherwise he'll hear me crack.
"Guys." Sam's calm voice intercepts. "It's not going to get sorted tonight. You're too angry and way too drunk." He stands in the middle of the meters between us.
"Fine." Thomas agrees, stubbing the cigarette out on the street.
I can't bare to be here another moment. I hold myself, folding my arms across my chest as I walk away, storming past where Thomas is stood.
"Hey, where are you going?" He calls.
"Home." I return, not bothering to look back over my shoulder at him.
"On your own?" He asks, concerned.
Screw this boy. I feel even worse that even when he's angry at me he's still worried that I'll be alright. It annoys me further than I let him affect me like that even when I'm pissed at him.
"I'll go with her." Sam kindly offers.
"Don't get jealous!" I spit as Sam starts jogging to catch up with me.
"Call a cab Thomas. Or go back inside." Sam orders.
We don't really say anything on our short walk. He asks if I'm alright and I answer with a yes that I don't really mean. I'm desperately trying not to cry. I'd say this has been our first proper argument where we've both actually been angry at each other. I've hated every single fucking moment of it.
"Sam go back. I'll take the cab. I don't want you to miss out." I stop at the door. He debates it.
"Okay, if you're sure. Just text me when you get home." I nod and duck down into the back of the car.
**
Soon enough, I arrive back at the apartment. My eyes are a little bit sore from the angry tears that managed to escape despite my best efforts in the cab. I throw my drained body down on the couch and get my phone out.
'Hey. I'm back.' I type out a message to Sam. I think over the second part of my text, unsure on whether I want to include it or not. 'How is he?'
He quickly sends his reply.
'Sulking. We're catching a car back in about fifteen minutes. Drink plenty of water.'
I smile at the end of his text and then hold my phone close to my chest.
I don't know whether or not I should stay up and wait for Thomas or do I go straight to bed? Do I ignore him? Some people say silence isn't a form of communication but it is and it's almost always taken negatively.
I force myself up and decide to go and get ready for bed. I'm so hot and bothered that I undress into just my underwear, stepping out of my dress. I wash my face and brush my teeth while a part of me hopes to catch him before I go sleep but I'm already tucked up, ready for bed and he's not yet back.
Will he still be mad? Will he talk to me? Will he come and sleep in my bed or not? A thousand questions buzz around in my busy, screaming mind.
Listening out, I hear the door open and his heavy, almost dragging footsteps move through the apartment. I prop my head up and I see the shadow of him stop in the crack underneath my door. I drop back down on my back, staring at the ceiling. I catch the sound of another door shutting. He's not coming in.
Fuck.
I'm slightly disappointed. I'm majorly conflicted on how to feel. I'm annoyed, obviously, but he was drunk so that explains his unruly and unusual behavior. I don't want to be angry with him, I really don't but I am.
This is all so new to me. If I was ever in an argument with Nate, I was wrong and he was right. I knew what was coming for me so I'd try my absolute hardest not to provoke him into any kind of debate. Talking to Thomas is easier than it ever was with Nate but this is different for us, we've not disputed quite like this before.
Suddenly, I pick up on the noise of the taps running. A glimmer of hope settles in my stomach, he's actually in the bathroom. I patiently wait and listen out for him, wriggling the covers up over myself.
My door creaks open and he shuffles into the room. I lift my head a little to get the view of him. He looks like a total mess, completely naked and obviously wasted. The smell of alcohol fills my room. He stumbles up to the bed.
Gradually, he crawls up the middle of the bed, laying his boiling hot body on top of mine, his head in between my boobs, his face to the side, still in the sheets. I fondly stroke over his soft locks of hair. I can't help it. I can't help myself. He gently whimpers.
"Please don't hate me." His voice is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
"I don't hate you Thomas." I reply, resting my head back down.
"I'm so sorry." My shoulders relax and I feel significantly less angry than I did earlier.
"I'm sorry too. I was being dramatic because I was annoyed." I explain.
"I'm being stupid because I'm drunk."
"You're usually stupid anyways." He snorts, his laughter vibrating onto my stomach. He looks up at me, his eyes half open and worn out.
"I shouldn't have told you to shut up and I shouldn't have acted like that. It won't ever happen... again. Pinky... promise." He weakly offers it to me.
"Pinky promise." I smile lightly, hooking his large finger with mine.
"Give me a kiss." He lifts his head, puckering his wet lips at me with his eyes shut. I lean forwards, giving him a quick peck. I get a hint of my toothpaste off of his mouth.
"Thomas, you're kind of - crushing my whole body." I wince. He rolls off of me, on top of the covers, but makes sure to move so his head stays on my chest.
"You like me, right?" He checks with a croak.
"Yeah, of course I do." I shuffle my shoulders back into the mattress.
"Why won't you just be my girlfriend then?" He slurs.
"Woah mister." I stop him. "If sober Thomas King knew you just said that he'd kick your ass."
"God. I'm such a loser." I laugh at him.
He moves all of his weight off of me and I turn so I'm level with his face. I rub my thumb over the muscles of his arm. His eyes fall to the sight of my bare chest hugged up in the sheets.
"Are you naked?" His mood lifts along with one of his eyebrows.
"Pretty much. I'm too hot." I answer.
"You can say that again." He chortles at his own joke as I shake my head at him. He edges closer to me, preparing to slot his lips in with mine. "Why don-?" I cover his mouth with my hand before he can say whatever dirty comment had come to his mind.
"Thomas. Nmhm." I stop him. "Not now." He lets out a sigh. "We'll talk in the morning." I instruct. He presses a kiss to my palm before I slowly remove it. "But we're good, okay? You and me. We're good."
"Okay. Goodnight Is." He smiles and then closes his eyes. I brush the hot skin of his face, making sure he's actually going to sleep. I can't adjust my covers because his weight is on top of them.
I let out a sigh and draw my touch away from his face. As soon as I do, he takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. I smile at it and then blink a few times, eventually drifting off.
****
A/N : Drink responsibly.
- Frankie Kate