She takes her seat next to Malfoy, his hand laced with hers protectively like mine used to be.
-
-
-
My heart wrenches at that sentence out of habit.
Stop it. He's not yours to worry about anymore. I think to myself angrily.
I take a deep breath, and make eye contact with Hermione's worry filled ones.
"I'm sure he just feels guilty," I try to say nonchalantly, but my voice wavers on the last word.
They all look to each other skeptically, but say nothing as we enter the dining hall.
I head to the Slytherin table with Blaise, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Eleanor, and Kira at my side.
"Eat something," Blaise urges as he hands me a biscuit, to which I offer a gracious smile, but just set it down on my plate.
The thought of eating anything right now makes me nauseous, and the gaze I feel from him at the Hufflepuff table just makes me feel even more sick.
It takes all of the self restraint I have, but I completely avoid looking at the Hufflepuff table for all of breakfast.
Cedric's POV
"In all honesty man, she was kind of a bitch. It's probably for the best," Mason shrugs as we head down the corridor towards the Great Hall for breakfast.
Fury instantly swells up in my body, clouding my sense of judgement, and before I can even process it, I have Mason pinned against the wall by his collar.
"Don't you ever fucking talk about her like that," I say, venom lacing every word, causing fear to instantly overcome his face.
"Alright, fine, chill!" He scoffs as I place him back on his feet.
"I just thought you'd be over her by now as you hadn't seen her for like a week," he continues apprehensively.
The fact that I hadn't even seen her face for a whole week was driving me insane. Several times I tried to go to her common room, but there were always people stopping me from doing so.
Ever since that night, I haven't been able to focus on anything else. My only emotions since that night have been anger and sadness.
I haven't been focusing in class or socializing, let alone eating or sleeping. All I can think about is her, and all I can do is worry about her.
I ask Harry and Hermione about her everyday in DADA, but they've been giving me the cold shoulder, obviously for good reason.
The most I've gotten from them is that she hasn't been doing well, which just causes me to worry even more, to the point where I'm practically shaking all the time out of angst.
Just the littlest things will cause me to lash out or snap, and I can't even bring myself to apologize afterwards for taking my emotions out on my friends.
How could those words I said be true, if I'm feeling this way after being away from her?
I trudge over to the Hufflepuff table with Mason and Jack who're giving each other the same usual nervous glances they always do, thinking I don't notice.
Everyone fills their plates and I just grab a cup of coffee, as it's the only thing I've been able to bring myself to consume this past week.
I start to zone out like usual, when Jack taps my shoulder.
"Hey man, I think you wanna see this," he says, pointing subtly towards the entrance of the hall.
I see, standing at the entrance, are Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, Malfoy, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, Eleanor, and Kira, all crowded around her.
Like usual when I see her, my heart rate kicks off and I feel a need to be close to her.
I start to stand, but then I see her face clearly for the first time in a week.
Deep purple bags surround her beautiful brown eyes, which are now bloodshot most likely from crying. Her face looks unhealthily thin and pale, and her eyes don't squint like they usually do when she smiles at her friends.
She looks beautiful like always, but completely broken, all because of the pain I caused her.
I wish there was a way I could explain that I didn't mean what I said, but how can I? I took veritaserum right in front of her, and spoke those horrifying words that I will never forgive myself for.
She takes her seat next to Malfoy, his hand laced with hers protectively like mine used to be.
My fist involuntarily slams on the table out of jealousy, causing the few Hufflepuffs around me to turn.
"Woah man, relax," Mason says cautiously.
I take another swig of coffee, my eyes never leaving them.
Throughout breakfast I keep waiting for her to look at me. Even for just a second, so I know she hasn't forgotten me.
But she never does.
I guess I should be happy about this. She deserves to move on after what I did, and it's selfish of me to wish she wouldn't. How can I want that though?! I've gone over what happened countless times, and I can't even convince myself to believe the words I said, no matter how hard I try. They just don't make sense!
How could I say I'm bored of her, when all she does is keep me guessing and on my toes? How could I say I've been planning on breaking up with her, when my worst nightmare since we started dating has been her breaking up with me?
It just makes absolute zero sense.
Something was wrong with that potion, I just know it. There's no way that veritaserum, a truth telling potion, caused me to say the complete opposite of the truth.
I need to talk to someone smart. Someone who's friends with Bella that will help me, but also someone who knows a lot about magic and might have an idea about what happened.
-
Bella's POV
Kids start to file out of the hall, and I then remember who I have first period with.
Him.
"Alright, I think breakfast was good enough, I'm gonna go back to bed now," I smile innocently, starting to stand up, but Blaise pulls me back down.
"First of all, you didn't even eat anything. Second of all, the reason we all worked together to form this whole plan was to get you to your classes today. You're going," he insists.
I groan and slump my head on the table.
"I can't. I have first period with Cedr- with him, and I can't bear to face him yet," I whine, not even able to bring myself to say his name.
Draco rolls his eyes and puts his arm around my shoulders reassuringly.
"You'll be fine. You don't even have to sit with him," he shrugs.
I protest for another minute or so, but I realize I'm making no progress, so I reluctantly get up and head to first period with Harry and Hermione.
"It's up to you what you want to do Bella. You can either sit in your usual spot next to Cedric, or one of us will sit with you somewhere else," Hermione says to me reassuringly.
Though it does sound tempting to sit away from him, I don't want to be petty. It'll be easy enough to ignore him, even if he is right next to me.
At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.
"Well, I guess it's time to be a Gryffindor and sit by him if those are my only two options," I say, faking a courageous smile.
They chuckle as we enter the classroom and take our usual seats.
A few minutes pass, and then I smell a waft of his cologne.
I force myself to keep my eyes straight ahead as he takes his seat, but I can feel his gaze on me.
How can he have the audacity to say the things he did, and still stare at me like this? I felt his gaze all throughout lunch, and now he's still staring at me.
"Can I fucking help y-" I start, turning my head to face him, but I'm cut short by the sight in front of me.
I don't know how to explain what he looks like, other than the word lifeless.
His silver eyes have turned to a cloudy gray, and it looks as if all happiness had been drained from them. The bags under his eyes are a deep purple, as if he hadn't slept in years, and his skin is almost translucent.
The best comparison I can make is Edward in New Moon when he's on the way to Volterra.
Tears immediately well up in my eyes at the sight in front of me, but I turn back to the front in an attempt to hide them.
Hermione wasn't exaggerating when she said he wasn't doing well. I thought I looked bad, but the sight of him is enough to make anyone feel awful.
"Bella," he say quietly, using his finger softly to try and turn me to face him.
"Please don't Cedric," I whisper, my voice breaking on his name as I push his hand away.
I lay my head on the desk, doing my best to ignore him, but it's difficult considering his gaze never seems to move away from me.
As I wait for class to go by, I often find myself tuning in and out of the lesson, but it's truly impossible to focus when he's right there.
I don't know what he wants from me. He said how he felt, and I'm honestly glad he did because at least this way I'm no longer in the dark, no matter how much it hurts.
Cedric's POV
I thought no matter what happened, nothing could make me more upset than I already was, but when she pushed away my hand, not wanting me to touch her, I felt my heart break all over again.
I would do anything to see her happy again. Even if it means completely staying away from her and never even talking to her again. I just can't stand the thought that the reason she looks so lifeless is all because of me.
I try to break free of my stare from her, but I just can't seem to look away. I can't seem to stop examining each feature of hers, like it's the last time I'll ever see her again.
This past week has been absolute hell not being able to see her face, even for just a second.
God I missed her. I missed her to the point where I was physically hurting, and I still miss her. I miss being able to make her blush. I miss going on random little adventures and visiting our meadow after school everyday. I miss her wit, her jokes, and her sarcasm. I miss just being able to talk to her. I miss talking to her about anything and everything, no matter how simple, or how small.
She's always been so good, and so perfect to me, so I don't understand how what I said could've been what I was truly feeling.
In fact, I know it wasn't what I was truly feeling. Even deep down, there was no possible way I could've been feeling like that.
Class finally comes to an end, and she immediately gets up, and walks out the door without a word.
Harry and Hermione give me their usual upset looks, before following after her.
"Wait, Hermione!" I call as I catch up to her and Harry.
She spins around with her eyebrows raised, annoyed.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask hesitantly.
Harry gives her a look asking are you all good here, to which she nods and he continues following after Bella.
"What do you want?" She snaps.
I take a deep breath and look her dead in the eye.
"I need your help."