S I S T E R S , S E C R E T S & S T A R G A Z I N G
Isabelle
I wake with a quiet cry out as my bed starts suddenly jolting around. We're not having an earthquake are we? I fully open my dry, sore eyes and see a small boy jumping up and down on the end of the bed.
He has a head full of blonde hair, tanned skin and a pair of the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen. He's now squealing with laughter, jumping with his arms in the air above his head. This is not real. There is a toddler on my bed. There's no way this is real.
"Rex! Oh my god." A high pitched voice calls out, reaching out to stop the boy on my bed.
A tall, fashionable woman dives to the rescue. She's got long, glossy, light brown hair that sits perfectly down her shoulders. Her skin is tanned like the boy's, dewy and glowing. She's beautiful.
"I am so sorry." She says. I scramble myself up, keeping the covers over me. Thomas bounds into the room, jumping into some sweatpants. His hair is a complete mess and he has crinkle lines of his bed sheets across his cheek.
"Uncle Tom!" Rex cries out excitedly at the sight of him.
"Hey!" He returns with the same amount of happiness. He whisks Rex up, carrying him on his side.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was going to be in here otherwise I would've come later." She nudges Thomas hard in the side. I brush my fingers through my hair, sitting up against the headboard of my bed.
"This is my sister, Amanda and her son Rex." He introduces them to me and I smile politely, still half asleep to say anything back. "This is Isabelle, she's been staying her for a while." Thomas holds Rex's hand up to wave at me but he's too distracted by Thomas to look my way.
"Hi." I nod. Amanda's grey eyes twinkle back at me.
As soon as Rex's feet meet the floor he tears off, out of the room. Amanda turns straight on her heels, chasing after him still in her boots and white coat with fur on the ends of her sleeves. After throwing Thomas a deadpan look, I swing my bare legs out of bed, grabbing a pair of shorts out my drawer to slip into underneath my sweater. He stands at the door waiting for me to join him.
"Good morning." He chimes. "How are you?"
"Tired." I answer, yawning. I quickly comb my hair out to make myself a little more presentable. I really don't want to look this bad while meeting someone from Thomas' family.
"Yeah, you look tired." He teases, messing my hair up.
"Hey!" I argue and he drops his head back laughing as we walk side by side. I sort myself out before his sister sees me again.
"Do you think I would be able to leave Rex here with you for a few hours? I'm meeting some old friends." Amanda calls back after managing to catch him and scoop him up into her arms.
"I have class for an hour or two this afternoon." I look up to see them both looking at me.
"I can watch him while he's gone, if you're comfortable with that." I suggest. "I have nothing on today."
"Yeah, that would be great, thank you." Amanda smiles at me while Thomas kneels down to Rex's level.
"Rex are you going to say hi to Isabelle?" Rex cowers behind Thomas, peeking his head around him to give me a little wave.
"Hi Rex." I whisper warmly, giving him a kind, encouraging smile.
"Come on muffin. You're not one for going shy." Amanda rolls her eyes and we all chuckle as Thomas ruffles his hand through Rex's head of golden hair.
"Do you want a coffee Amanda?" He offers.
"Oh yeah please. A quick one would be nice. I'm just going to take him to the bathroom." Thomas and I head into the kitchen. I begin to make some breakfast, shoving some bread into the toaster and preparing some scrambled eggs.
"A heads up would've been nice." I narrow my eyes at him as he peers at my cooking over my shoulder.
"I know. I'm sorry." He winces. "We spoke about it a few days ago. I forgot she was coming. I forgot to mention you were staying in the spare room." He lowers his voice just in case she can hear. I let out a laugh.
"You're something else. Only you would forget to tell your roommate and then forget that your own sister is visiting."
Amanda returns and makes conversation with Thomas while I continue cooking. The toaster dings and he snatches a piece of toast that pops up, taking a bite.
"Thomas! That's also my breakfast." I swat him away, both of us laughing. He takes another bite, purposefully giving me a huge smiling as he chews. He places it on a plate that I serve the eggs up on once they're done.
Thomas scoffs down his breakfast while we sit around the coffee table, conversing in polite chit chat. The pair of them talk about people I don't know so I busy myself with making faces with Rex to distract him.
Soon after, Thomas packs up and goes to class, leaving me alone with his sister and nephew. She's so gorgeous it's slightly intimidating. And not even that – she's nice too.
I want to make a good impression obviously, but part of me really wants her to like me. I shouldn't really be feeling that way because my relationship with Thomas isn't at all like that. Not right now.
I take the plates back into the kitchen, washing them up, when Rex comes bouncing into the room. I don't know how he has enough energy but he runs in circles around the island.
"I'm just going to let him do that until he wears himself out." Amanda slides into the room and we both laugh. She perches on one of the stools, still keeping a close eye Rex. "So Isabelle... tell me a bit about yourself."
I hate this question. What are you supposed to say? Do people want to know my favourite color? Star sign? My deepest phobias and secrets?
"Erm... oh god. Well, what do you want to know?" I dry the plate in my hand, stacking it with the rest. I try my very best to avoid her eyes. They're just as intense as Thomas' stare. It must be genetic. This family must have some insane genes because they're both extremely attractive.
"What's the deal with you and my brother?" She narrows her eyes, flicking her silky hair over her shoulder.
"Oh." She's really not holding back. "I'm just staying here for a while."
"How did you guys meet?" She tilts her head. I guess I better get suited for an interrogation because I don't see any escape here.
"I met him through a friend. Do you know Sam?" She nods, enthusiastically.
"Oh yeah, he's so nice." She manages to grab hold of Rex as he's now started screaming while running around. "Quiet down muffin." She strokes his hair so he settles on her lap. "Do you like him?"
"Sam?" I almost laugh at the idea. I finish the washing up and sit down opposite them.
"No, Thomas." She corrects me. How am I supposed to answer this?
"I don't really know him that well." I shrug it off and I am being perfectly honest.
"You're avoiding the question, so that's a yes. You do like him." Her lips curl into a mischievous smile. I bite the inside of my lip, tucking strands of hair behind my ear.
"I don't know." I shake my head, nervously. I'm not about to admit to his own sister that I fancy him.
"You two would look cute together." She presses on and I can't help but subtly roll my eyes. "A good looking couple." She must be lying because in no way shape or form, I look anywhere near good right now.
"Like I said, I don't really know him. I've only been here a few weeks so... I don't know..." I trail off. I don't have anything else to say.
"You seem like you've got a sensible head on your shoulders. That would be good for him." I can't help but smile, looking down at my nails. A quietness settles, even Rex is quiet.
"Right, I need to start thinking about heading off. I'll give you my number now just in case you need me. Rex loves apples, grapes, banana, carrot sticks anything like that for snacks. If he won't settle, Toy Story or Frozen will most likely work." She explains and gives me a list of other instructions I need to know. After telling Rex to be good she leaves us in the apartment together.
"So Rex..." I look down at him smiling. "What do you want to do?"
****
Thomas
Unlocking the door, I hear music echoing around the apartment. Looking around, I notice a lot of book everywhere. My home will become a library if I'm not careful. Following the noise, I peek around the arch into the kitchen to see Isabelle dancing around with Rex on her hip.
She's changed into a white summer dress with small red flowers patterned on it. Her hair curls in delicate waves just past her shoulders. I can smell her vanilla perfume from across the room. It looks like they're decorating some cookies.
She playfully sings along to the words, tapping his nose at the end of a line. She bounces up and down, his laughter drowning out the music. I clear my throat and she flashes around, noticing me. An embarrassed flush fills her face and I can't help but smile.
"Hey guys, having fun?" I ask, cocking my head to the side. Rex wriggles excitedly and Isabelle places him down so he can run over to me. "What are you making?"
"Cookies." Rex bellows happily, tugging my pants for me to lift him up. I carry him over to have a look at their work. You can tell them apart, the ones decorated by Rex have icing sliding off the sides of them and large piles of sprinkles.
"They look great buddy. Well done!" I open my hand up for a high five. He gives one to Isabelle as well. "You all good?" She nods at me with a smile. "Fancy watching a movie and eating some of these?"
"Yes, yes, yes! Frozen please!" Rex pleads and I ruffle his hair before putting him down to go into the living room.
"I'll plate them up." Isabelle says while I follow Rex out.
After Rex finally picks between Frozen one or Frozen two, we all settle on the couch, Rex sat in between myself and Isabelle. It was nice seeing them together earlier. Almost comforting to see how she gets along with my family.
Despite being engrossed in the first half of the film, I notice that Rex and Isabelle have started whispering to each other about something. I frown when Rex stands up on the couch, managing to only be a little taller than me even when I'm sat down.
"I have someone that wants to say hello Uncle Tom." Rex giggles. I narrow my eyes at him as he shyly gets closer to me. "The tickle monster!" He cries out, jumping on me and attacking me at the sides.
"Oh no you don't." I start laughing between gritted teeth and begin tickling him. He falls back onto the cushions and I tickle underneath his armpits. Isabelle joins in, going for his sides. He howls with laughter, kicking his legs out desperately.
He manages to leap up, running away along the couch so I turn my attention onto Isabelle. I jab my fingers into her sides and she starts squealing, pushing me off.
"No, no, no stop!" She begs. I move over the top of her and she uncontrollably laughs underneath me.
She's not strong enough to get me off of her so she's stuck. I slot myself between her legs as she tries to wriggle her body around to slip out of my grasp but she's unsuccessful. She starts trying to get me back as we both fall into fits of hectic laughter.
For a split second I glance up, catching sight of Amanda who's stood in the middle of the room, an eyebrow raised at us. Rex is hugging her around her legs.
I clear my throat, crawling off of Isabelle. We both sit up, caught out and embarrassed.
"I've got food." Amanda raises her arms and holds up a bag of takeout in each hand.
"Great. I'll come help you." I brush my pants off, standing. Even in a quick glimpse I can see Isabelle's face a dark crimson as she avoids all eye contact with anyone.
"Don't let me interrupt you." Amanda hushes at my side on the way to the kitchen. "I've only been around you two for ten minutes today and the sexual tension is killing me." She continues as we step into the kitchen.
"Amanda, shut up before she hears you." I check over my shoulder, making sure she's still on the couch. I catch Rex curling up to her as they carry on watching the movie.
"Have you slept with her yet?" She asks, dropping the bags on the counter.
"No." I fish through the bags. "Not that it's any of your business."
"Have you kissed her?" She leans closer to me like we're gossiping.
"No." I answer, getting out the different boxes of food.
"What?! No?" She cries, surprised. "Do you want to kiss her?" I keep silent. "You do want to kiss her!" She starts poking me.
"Amanda, shut up." I bat her off of me.
"Why don't you just go for it? You are Thomas King for fuck sake." She sarcastically air quotes my name. "You're the man." She puts on a low voice.
"The timing isn't ever right." I excuse myself, sighing.
"Well... why don't you make the timing right? Take her to the roof." I think over what she says and smile. Flashing pictures of us on the rooftop cycle through my head.
"That's actually not a bad idea." I nod to myself, dishing up the food portions onto the four plates.
"You're welcome." She nudges me. We prepare the plates in a short silence. "She's cute."
"Yeah. I know." I brush her off, tired of her engagement on this subject.
"Rex likes her." She picks up a fry and throws it into her mouth.
"Yep, I know." I return with the same enthusiasm, or lack of.
"I like her – oh my god! Mom would die."
"Amanda, you're going to die in a minute. Stop it." I warn her and she laughs.
"Okay fine." She takes a plate in each hand, heading back to Isabelle and Rex. "I hope you're hungry!"
We all eat dinner together, sat on the couch. Rex sits on Amanda's lap so she can monitor everything that he's eating. All the while I try to get Isabelle's attention so we can slip away together but she never gets the hint.
I jump up at the opportunity to help Isabelle wash up, despite never doing that before. She looks at me cynically but doesn't question it. Once we're alone at the sink, I lower my voice.
"Hey. I want to show you something." I say before she has chance to turn the water on.
"What? Now?" I nod. "What is it?" She narrows her eyes, suspiciously.
"You'll see. Go grab a pair of shoes real quick." I instruct. She smiles, still confused, but scurries off to follow my order. I pat Amanda's shoulder as I walk past her and she wishes me good luck.
Isabelle joins me at the door in a pair of white sneakers. I silently lead her out of the apartment, up to the highest floor and then through a smaller door. She cautiously follows without question.
My cheeks are pricked with the chilled breeze of the night. I step aside so I can watch her reaction. Her face beams at the sight of roof top garden. Green shrubs in boxes fill the space, lit by a series of golden lights dotted around. There's fairy lights strung up, red and pink flowers hidden within the plants.
It feels extremely romantic. Maybe this is too romantic of a gesture. I'm not really sure what this gesture is or what it's for but – God. Is it too much?
"Wow." She exclaims, amazed. She walks around, observing every single detail like a kid in a candy shop. She goes over to the side, looking out on the horizon. Tiny, glowing lights, a multitude of different colors spray across the night for miles and miles. "It's so beautiful."
"Yeah." I can't help but smile, watching her gaze out at the incredible view with a huge grin on her face. The cool wind breezes through the ruffles of her dress and frees loose strands of her dark hair. "It is." I saunter over, joining her at her side. She has her eyes closed, opening her chest out to the night.
"You're not supposed to have your eyes shut, you know? How are you going to see?" She laughs.
We stand together for a short while, admiring the view. Suddenly, I notice she's not beside me anymore. Too engrossed in the skyline, I didn't even realize that she'd walked away. Turning around, she's settling herself down on the floor before she lays flat.
"What the hell are you doing?" I laugh, frowning at her.
"Looking at the stars." She explains softly, patting the space on the ground next to her.
Carefully, I join her, letting out a sigh as I lay on the hard floor. I tilt my head, staring up at the stars that twinkle in the inky darkness of the sky. It's funny – the more I look at them, the more I see. I feel... kind of at peace.
Beside her, everything just feels so normal and right in this moment, I don't even have the vocabulary to properly explain it. The longer I think about it, the tighter my throat gets. I've not felt like this before and it's a feeling that deep down; scares me.
The thought is torn out of my mind with her next words.
"I left my boyfriend." She announces, her body stiffening up. "That's why I needed a place to stay." I twist my head to look at her even though she continues to look at the sky above. Her pink, parted lips move with a slight tremble as she continues.
"I was with him for almost two years. It was toxic. He was toxic – but when one person is toxic then the relationship follows." She nervously picks at her fingers which sit on her stomach.
"I left one night, it was the night before I was at your door. I didn't offer him a shred of an explanation or opportunity for a dialogue. I mean... it's not like I had much to say. It was obvious why I left." She continues. My heart sinks for her.
"He was in complete control of everything, me included. How I looked, what I wore, what I ate, who I saw. When and where I went."
"Did he hurt you?" I whisper. She finally looks at me, her eyes glistening with tears that are verging on the idea of spilling down the soft skin of her now rosy cheeks.
"Yeah. He did." My heart drops even further than it had already sank.
"He'd hit you?" She nods in answer, her lips tightly pressed together.
"Among other things." She trails off, almost choking on the words.
"Jesus Christ, Is." I rub a hand over my face, unsure of what the right thing to say is. "I am so sorry."
"Don't be sorry." She smiles shortly. "It's not on you."
"I know, I just... I don't really know what else to say." I admit. She avoids my eyes, looking at the stars once more. Her sigh forms a puff of white air that floats from her lips.
"I know you suspected a while ago. I probably should've said something earlier but I erm... I wasn't ready." She's right. I did start to put pieces together as soon as I saw the bruises on her arm. The thought alone makes me shudder.
"I don't want you to do anything that you're not ready to do." She doesn't say anything else for a while and neither do I.
She seems relaxed now, her presence not so tight anymore. Dozens of questions buzz around my mind as I try to find an appropriate one I can ask.
"What about your family? Do they know?"
"I eventually lost contact with my parents. It happened so slowly, I didn't even realize." It now makes sense why she's been pushing me about the wedding.
"Friends?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"Vi, Eva, Sam and you." She replies.
"Me?" I put my hand to my chest, pretending to be flattered. It makes her chuckle as she quickly touches the tip of her middle finger underneath her eye to prevent any tears. "Are you glad you did it?"
"Did what?" She quizzes, her voice gentle and quiet.
"Left?"
"Yeah. I am. A part of me though I'd never get out. Now I'm terrified that I'll somehow end up there again."
"I'm not going to let that happen." I take her small hand off her lap and hold it, laying them in the space between us. She smiles at the sight of it. "I didn't push you, did I?" My tone has changed, worried but serious.
"No. I did kind of need a kick up the ass." She laughs to herself. "But no... you didn't."
I gaze at her, lost in her glistening eyes. I watch her as she watches my thumb softly brushing along her skin. With her hand in mine, I wish that time would stop or at least slow down so I could savor this moment, this feeling.
Then she meets my eyes. She's searching them, like she's looking for all the answers to all her worries. They flicker down to my lips and it makes my heart squeeze like it's wrapped in barbed wire. The feeling is oddly familiar, but not something I've experienced in a long time.
I think I'm nervous.
She's giving me those eyes again – those kind of eyes like she's thinking about kissing me. As I move to begin to lean in, she clears her throat and rolls her shoulders, looking back up above us with a hard swallow.
My palm is cold now her hand is no longer intertwined with mine. I catch onto the shakiness of her next breath out as she settles down.
We lay in silence, side by side for another few minutes before her teeth start to chatter. I take that as a sign that we should go back inside. She leads the way and I defeatedly follow her down the steps of the roof. I punch the air out of frustration behind her back so she doesn't see me.
Heading back inside, Amanda quickly flashes me a thumbs up to check if I was successful. I shake my head and her face drops, just as bummed out as I am. God damn it.
That would've been perfect timing for a kiss if it wasn't such a bad time. Does that make sense?
**
I've offered Amanda and Rex to stay in my room because Rex was beginning to get tired. They weren't planning on staying but I would rather Rex have a good quality sleep in a bed tonight. I've taken the couch so Isabelle can stay in her room.
Rex asks me to help him get ready for bed which I do. By the time his head hits the pillow he's already crashed out, fast asleep. I assume it's from all the running around and dancing he did today. I sneakily leave the room, hugging Amanda goodnight on my way out.
After turning all the lights out, I settle on the couch, scrunching up a pillow behind my head. It's one of Isabelle's spares which unfortunately smells like her sweet vanilla scent. After tonight, it's one of the last things I want to be smelling as it'll drive me mad.
I can't tell how much time has passed, there's no clock in here and my phone is charging across the room. I stick my leg out of the covers and bend my arm up underneath my head.
I hear the bathroom door click up the hall. A set of soft foot steps pad up the hall. I lift my head and Isabelle's face is peeking around the side, into the room.
"Hey." I whisper across to her. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, are you alright?" She steps forward through the darkness. She's changed into a pair of black shorts and a white cropped top.
"Yeah, I'm all good." I nod, sitting myself up as she comes in closer.
"I just wanted to stay – if you want to take my bed or share it then I don't mind. I mean... if you want to."
Share it? I'm taken aback at her offer.
"I know how uncomfortable sleeping on couches can be." She chuckles nervously. Is this her cover up of her literally asking me to share her bed with her?
"No. It's fine. Don't worry about it." I brush it off, I can't accept, can I?
"Okay." She nods, slightly a little too awkwardly. An even more awkward silence hangs between us as she scans the exposed top half of my body.
"I had a really nice time tonight. I'm glad I told you what has been happening." I give her a short smile. I'm glad she feels that way. "Anyways, the offer stands if you change your mind."
She turns around and saunters away before I can say anything else. I flop back down on the couch, thinking about it. I weigh it up in my head.
Today was the second time we could've kissed. If we shared a bed, I'd be tempted. Way too tempted. It would be a form of torture to have to deal with how close every part of her body would be to mine and not be able to do anything despite all the voices in my mind telling me I could.
I do everyone a favor and decide against having one out on the couch. I'm scared to sleep, knowing that my subconscious will still be thinking about her. I already think about her too much during the day - I don't need to be while I'm sleeping.
But before I know it, my eyes are to heavy to keep open.
****
- Frankie Kate
Here's my interpretation of Amanda.