◤I can't tell you much, just please know that I am doing this for us. Everything I am doing is for us.◢
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CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT: TRUSTING
"I am all yours now, Celine."
Marie shook her head in amusement as Will cascaded down the stone stairs of the Institute, dressed in new, clean clothes. He wore his usual dark trousers, pairing them with a white shirt and a coat over it. A long cut ran below his right eye, creasing slightly as he smirked at the brunette girl.
Much like himself, Marie had her thick coat on, preparing to face the chilly weather of London. A matching dark hat rested on top of her head. "Shall we head out, then?"
Will nodded confidently, offering his arm to Marie. With a gentle smile, Marie accepted Will's gesture, exiting the Institute.
Their steps were slow, enjoying the few moments of peace they managed to snatch away for themselves. With Jem and Tessa away and Charlotte busy with her own problems, the two were left to figure their way around. Marie supposed she was lucky enough that Will agreed to accompany her on a short walk the moment she offered; he was usually the one to avoid company and navigate his way around.
With bodies close to each other and intertwined hands, they allowed their gazes to linger on the people who passed them in a hurry, heads tucked beneath their hats. Marie felt oddly comfortable in Will's presence, considering everything that happened between them.
The thought of them kissing each other and confessing their deepest feelings burned vividly in her mind, making her insides turn fuzzy and warm. The image of them clinging onto each other and their lips barely touching danced before her eyes, their promises echoing in the back of her head.
She had never felt like that before. Nobody was capable of making her feel as if her entire body had been set on fire, each touch of theirs raising the temperature even more. Will's intense gaze made her melt in his arms, but contrary to their previous moments, that time - Will didn't let her go. Instead, he begged her to stay.
"We haven't done this in a while," Will tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes meeting Marie's hazel ones. Despite being tired, he still managed to make Marie's knees buckle. And if somehow his dazzling midnight blue gaze wasn't enough, Will's charming smile surely was. "Walking around London, I mean. Just the two of us."
It was the truth. Considering how busy their lives were, especially as of lately, the pair hadn't spent much time alone. Their days were filled with endless tasks and constant worrying about Mortmain that they couldn't afford taking a break. However, that day, the pair decided to break the rules and steal a few short hours to themselves.
"I know," Marie nodded, her gaze drifting off to the Thames. The river flowed steadily, allowing several boats to cross it. Cold wind nibbled on her cheeks, bringing a gentle flush of color to her cheeks. "Almost feels foreign, doesn't it?"
She felt Will's eyes on her, but didn't dare turn to meet them. Noticing this, Will sighed and brought his free hand over Marie's palm, offering her a gentle squeeze. "Can I be honest with you?"
Will's question caught her by surprise. For some reason, as of lately, Will had disposed of his teasing behavior whenever he was around her. She didn't know if that was good. While they still bickered with each other on occasions, she noticed the change in the Herondale boy, as if his walls were crumbling.
"You know that you can, Will."
The boy nodded. "Nothing feels foreign when I am with you," he said, slowly releasing her arm and turning her to face him. The two were now standing near the bank of Thames, almost completely alone. "I meant what I said yesterday. Every word of it."
Marie didn't notice when Will took his glove off, but she was taken by surprise when she felt his calloused hand caressing her cheek. Her hand immediately flew up, coming to rest over his, afraid that if it doesn't stay there - Will would withdraw it. "Did you really?"
Both Marie and Will were mesmerized by each other. It happened whenever they were together. The strange, invisible force would guide their hearts, pushing them closer to each other. No matter how hard they tried to keep their secrets, it felt impossible. They were far too drawn to each other, surrendered for an eternity.
Will licked his lips, his thumb going up and down Marie's cheekbone. "I did, Celine," he said, a fire flickering in his eyes. He was making a dangerous move. "Every last word of it."
The brunette laughed, sincerely. Her insides melted, because deep down, she had known Will's words were true.
Marie had known the boy in front of her for a long time and she liked to believe she knew how to recognize his honesty. It felt a little odd, she had to admit. Before yesterday, Will would have never dared to speak of his feelings so sincerely and without fear. It made the girl wonder what changed.
"You are hurt," Marie said, gently pulling Will's hand away from her face. Slowly, she lifted his coat sleeve up, revealing the thick bandage. "What happened?"
"Blame it on the demon I chased last night," Will shook his head. "That bastard bit me. Took a little bit more blood of mine than necessary."
"A demon bit you?" Marie's eyes widened. "It could have poisoned you, Will!"
"I think it did," Will shrugged his shoulders, as if it were nothing. "I don't recall much after that. I know I woke up at Magnus'. I could have sworn he kissed me, but he said it was probably the demon venom playing tricks on my mind."
"Magnus kissed you?" The brunette girl echoed, blinking in astonishment. "On the lips?"
"Are you jealous, Celine?" A laugh escaped from his throat, a wide grin decorating his lips. Marie didn't remember a time when he looked as happy.
Her cheeks tinted light pink as she shook her head quickly. "What, no! W-Why would I be?"
"I don't know," he said. "I am not even sure it really happened, but truly - even if it did - you're a better kisser, Celine. So, you have nothing to worry about."
Marie's heart fluttered in her chest, making her feel hot and bothered. She never liked allowing Will's to affect her so much, but this time, she couldn't help it. "Stop it," the brunette slapped Will lightly. "Why were you there anyway, Will?"
"Look," Will sighed, tilting his head backwards and letting his eyes scan the sky. "I can't say. He's helping me with something."
"With what?" Marie asked. "Are you all right? Did something happen?"
"A long time ago, Celine," Will tucked his hands into the pockets of his coat. "Even before we met. I can't tell you much, just please know that I am doing this for us. Everything I am doing is for us."
The way Will laced his words in mystery made Marie wonder what kind of a secret he was keeping. "Will, I can help you," she said. "Whatever it is, I want to be there for you."
"I know," Will's lip tugged upward. It was a sign that he understood the brunette's concern. "Believe me, I do, but this is something I have to do on my own."
"Does it have something to do with your family?" The words that fell off of Marie's lips made Will's smile disappear. His shoulders tensed and slowly, he began walking down the same path they had already crossed.
"Will!" Marie called after him, erasing the distance he put between them. "It is, isn't it?"
He said nothing, only continued walking.
"Is it Cecily?"
"No, Marie," Will shook his head. "Just let it go, please."
"I want to help you, Will," Marie added. "Is it so hard to understand?"
"No," Will's response came out harsh, making Marie flinch. He inhaled a sharp breath, meeting her gaze. He didn't want to see Marie hurt, much less hurt her himself. Not now. Not when things have finally felt right. "I am sorry, but you have to trust me. For your own good, let me do this one alone. Please."
His hands were grasping Marie's again, stopping them in the middle of their walk. A few people muttered something unintelligible under their breaths, without a doubt cursing the pair for blocking their way.
He watched her almost helplessly. "Something happened to me, a long time ago. Now, I have to make things right," Will said. "Let me fight for us, please. Would you do that for me?"
Marie sighed in defeat. She hated the sheer thought of letting Will battle his demons alone, but nodded in agreement.
Will offered her a soft smile, tilting his forehead against Marie's. Both of them had their eyes closed, Will's arms sneaking around Marie's waist and pulling her closer. "Just trust me this time," his voice was barely above a whisper. "Just trust me."
And Marie did.
She put her heart in Will's hands, allowing him to carry it with him wherever he went. She knew that life could be cruel, but she also knew that there was no one whom she trusted more with protecting her heart than William Herondale.
*
LONDON Institute's residents were tense. The atmosphere around them was gloomy and tight, as if all of them were trying to tiptoe around each other. It was such a contrast from the time when Tessa and Jem returned from the Silent City, smiles on their faces and a small paper note displayed in hand.
Marie assumed it was because their confrontation with Nathaniel was getting closer. She didn't have time to engage in friendly conversation, either, seeing that she was far too busy with polishing her seraph blade and preparing her arrows. She was already dressed in black, pausing only to grab a bite of the sandwich Bridget had offered her.
Tessa and Sophie stood near her, Sophie helping Tessa lace boy's boots. According to Jessamine, the only way to fool Nathaniel was for Tessa to wear boy's clothes.
"You can't brood on it, miss," Marie heard Sophie say. "He aren't - I mean, he isn't worth it."
"Who isn't worth it?"
"Your brother. Wasn't that what you were thinking on?"
"Can you tell what I'm thinking because you have the Sight?" Tessa's question made Marie laugh, turning around to face the girls.
Sophie mirrored Marie's reaction. "Lord, no, miss. I can read it on your face like a book. You always have the same look when you think of Master Nathaniel. But he's a bad hat, miss, not worth your thoughts."
"He's my brother."
"And yet he's acting quite opposite, don't you think?" Marie's eyebrow rose up as she questioned.
"I agree with Miss Marie," said Sophie. "Some are just born bad, and that's all there is to it."
"And what of Will?" Tessa dared ask, smirking in Marie's way. She was trying to tease her friend shamelessly. "Do you still think he was born bad? Lovely and poisonous like a snake, you said."
Sophie's cheeks flushed red as she met Marie's gaze. She felt embarrassed. "Master Will is a mystery, no doubt," she uttered. "He's good only when Miss Marie is around."
Before Tessa could ask any more questions, the door to her room opened, revealing Jem. "Charlotte sent me to give you-"
The boy froze in place, his eyes taking in Tessa's appearance. She was wearing boy's clothes, naturally, the curves of her body were more emphasized than before.
"I..." Jem blushed lightly. "Charlotte sent me to tell you we're waiting in the drawing room," he announced, turning on his foot and disappearing.
"Dear Angel," Marie couldn't contain her laughter. "The two of you are adorable."
"What are you talking about?" Tessa's cheeks reddened.
"What am I talking about?" Marie echoed. "Jem's completely into you and I can bet you're into him, as well. Did you two kiss?"
Sophie shrieked lightly, chuckling at Marie's bluntness. Tessa's mouth, on the other hand, opened in bewilderment.
"I'll take you silence as a yes," Marie grinned widely, picking up her weapons from Tessa's vanity.
"Miss Marie is right," Sophie said. "Well, just look at yourself."
"My goodness," Marie heard Tessa whispering.
"Indeed," Sophie said. "Don't worry. They'll fit better once you Change, and besides... he fancies you anyway."
"I - you know - I mean, you think he fancies me?"
"Quite," said Sophie. "You should see the way he looks at you when he doesn't think you see. Or looks up when a door opens, and is always disappointed when it isn't you. Master Jem, he isn't like Master Will. He can't hide what he's thinking."
"And you're not..." Tessa struggled in asking the right question. "Sophie, you're not - put out with me?"
"Why would I be put out with you?" Sophie asked, eyebrows furrowed.
"I thought perhaps that there was a time when you looked at Jem with a certain admiration. That is all. I meant nothing improper, Sophie."
"There was a time when I - when I admired him. He was so gentle and so kind, not like any man I'd known. And so lovely to look at, and the music he makes," Marie was glad Sophie felt comfortable enough to speak openly about her feelings. "But he never cared for me. Never by a word or a gesture did he lead me to believe he returned my admiration, though he was never unkind."
"Sophie," Marie decided to speak up. "I've told you many times since you came here that you're a friend, first and foremost. You are a divine soul, Sophie and I can bet there's someone who knows how to appreciate you."
Tessa nodded in agreement. "You have been more than just kind to me, Sophie. I am sure I would not do anything that might hurt you."
Sophie nodded. "Do you care for him?"
"I think," Tessa said cautiously, observing Marie who grinned widely at her, "that I do."
"Good." Sophie said. "He deserves that. To be happy. Master Will has always been the brighter burning star, the one to catch attention - but Jem is a steady flame, unwavering and honest. He could make you happy."
"And you would not object?"
"Object?" Sophie echoed loudly. "Oh, Miss Tessa, it is kind of you to care what I think, but no. I would not object. My fondness for him - and that is all it was, a girlish fondness - has quite cooled into friendship. I wish only his happiness and yours."
Sophie's bold statement surprised Marie, making her think that there's perhaps something else that the girl was not telling them. "Sophie," she began. "Are you seeing someone?"
"Cyril, perhaps?" Tessa joined.
Sophie rolled her eyes at the two brunette girls. "Oh, Lord have mercy on us all. First Thomas, now Cyril. When will you stop trying to marry me off to the nearest available man?"
"There must be someone-"
"There's no one," Sophie dismissed firmly, rising from the floor. "There you are. Twist up your hair under your hat and you'll be the model of a gentleman."