When You Came

Chapter 39 - Noah's POV

*Disclaimer: Triggering content ahead*

Noah's POV

I had a dream about Aurelia James last night. It has been more than 24 hours since the truth came out. Since she found out that I was the murder of her family. Since she left me...

It was all in all the worst 24 hours of my life.

The dream went like this:

It was her birthday. April 11th. I had planned a surprise for her. I would take her out to dinner at a rooftop restaurant where New York would be at our feet. I already surprised her in the morning with a bouquet of flowers, specifically daisies because they are her favorite. There was also a little card that wished her. I also delivered her favorite breakfast to our home which surprised her. During work, I sent her a text saying that she should get ready for tonight's dinner at 6, the attire was already in our closet. I waited for her at the restaurant. My driver was instructed to take her there. Aurelia arrived on time and she was absolutely beautiful. Now you might think I'm fucking cliché or basic but it's true. I know three languages and am fluent in all of them but no words, no fucking adjectives are able to describe her beauty. Picasso wouldn't be able to paint it and Shakespeare wouldn't be able to write about it. Her dress was an off shoulder red sequin dress. I had specifically made for her. Measurements and size were all hers so only she could wear it and look absolutely stunning in it. All of a sudden, everything took a turn. There was a gun in my hand. Aurelia's red dress wasn't because of the material but because of her blood seeping through a gunshot wound.

"Why'd you do it Noah?" She asked while clutching her wound as she fell to the ground.

"No Lia I didn't. No!!" I ran to her before she hit the ground.

I help her in my arms.

"You did this Noah.." She said before she took her last breath and died in my arms.

And this was where my dream ended and I woke up in cold sweat. I tried calling her. But her phone was off. I tried to follow her but with New York's traffic it was fucking impossible. I feel like I should make more of an effort but I don't know why I just don't. It's not that I don't love her. I do. I so fucking do. I love her with everything I have. And that's a lot. But I fucked up. I lied to her. And even I couldn't forgive myself for that. So I just let her go.

But I do leave her a bunch of messages. We didn't really have the chance to clear up with spectators around.

Fuck.

Just thinking about my uncle and Tyler.

I broke their trust too..

Now I don't have anyone else by my side.

My uncle was so disappointed in me. I let him down. Tyler too.

I let Aurelia down..

I let my parents down..

I've turned into a fucking monster. The guilt of killing the love of my life's parents are coming back to haunt me. My sins are catching up to me.

For days, I couldn't sleep. Because I would dream about her. I would dream that I had actually killed her over and over and over again. I couldn't eat. Because everything would not go down. I can barely get out of bed. I don't even know what day it is. I was like a living corpse walking around, what used to be Aurelia and I's home. But now it's just a lonely quiet grave for me to wallow in self-pity. For about a month later, I turned to alcohol and some weed. To numb the pain because after a month the pain was still there. There were times when I passed out or maybe blacked out from them. At first, I thought it was great because I finally can get some sleep but then the nightmares happened again. It was like my mind was my own personal hell. Aurelia dying was played on a loop. Satan himself was controlling what I would be dreaming. After that, I took stronger doses. I changed my game. With money and status, I found the best cocaine money can buy. Snorting it immediately made me relax. I still had alcohol as my friend. But now my best friend was cocaine and let me tell you guys, he was fucking amazing at his job as a best friend.

The company was crumbling but I couldn't care less. The guilt was eating me up. Nothing and no one could ease it. I mean literally no one. Even Aurelia couldn't. Because I did this to myself. I shouldn't have accepted that job. I shouldn't have fallen for her. If I never did then all of this could have been avoided. My phone had been ringing off the hook. The directors and my assistant kept calling me asking when I would come to work. But I just couldn't bother to pick it up.

I sit here now in my living room, which looked like some addict's heaven, drink in one hand and blunt in another and took a relaxing smoke. I exhaled the smoke and sigh in content.

Damn that sure those fucking feel good as hell.

I don't know how long it has been since I left the house. I could guess maybe a month. I don't know and I couldn't care less. My best friends are here with me. My supplier just comes up and gives me my supply in exchange for the money and then he leaves. He gets his money, I get my best friend. No questions asked.

DING!

That must be him.

"Mr. Jung." He greeted me. I would tell you how he looks like but my vision's a bit blurry. I swear sometimes there's like five of him.

"Howdy Sally!" I greeted him. I know that's not his name but it rhymes.

Damn, I'm high as a kite right now.

"Your supply." He handed me a bag filled with white powder and a syringe.

"ank u" I slurred.

"I think you should take it easy, Mr. Jung." Smart mouth Sally said.

"Axcuze you. You just tliver the goods. Get out." I said, getting irritated.

I heard him sigh but he did leave.

Thank Satan!

I began pouring the white powder on a spoon and began to heat it up until it turned into a brown or maybe golden colored liquid that I've been befriending. As soon as it turns into liquid, I took the syringe to suck it up and injected it into myself. I didn't need to tie my arm to get a vein because I've done this enough times.

But somehow, this time don't feel anything. There was darkness surrounding me. I felt at ease. Not high but I felt calm. I couldn't move either. The darkness was never ending. And eventually I fell into a deep sleep.