insecurities

Turn Out

I chuckled, "What if i say no?"

"I wouldn't do anything...yet,but I guarantee you that you wouldn't succeed with the project because I would bring it to the ground eventually. " he boasted as he crossed his leg over the other and looked me dead in the eye. "So...I have a million stashed away somewhere."

I burst in laughter at him because he said it as if a million was a huge amount and he gave me a confused look... I couldn't believe that he was actually serious about that." Okay... " i pulled out my phone and dialed Alejandro's number. "Add two more people on the list."

"Killing?"

"No... Well, maybe just the one."

Alejandro chuckled then hung up. He liked making jokes... That call didn't mean that he was going to kill him, it was just him asking if was it an unpleasant deal or is there bad blood and i answered told him that only of them. Alejandro also had a knack for taking things seriously so, if he did kill him. I wouldn't have been surprised.

"Done."

Tony looked at me confused, "What do you mean...? You didn't even tell them my name."

"I said that it was done so, it is. There's an investors dinner on Saturday... Be there. I'll send you the details later."

He nodded and walked away but when he got to the door, I said, "You know... Bonnie seems like a great woman,she doesn't deserve the life you're dragging her into."

He didn't give me any sort of response and just left, closing the door behind himself. Just as I was getting up to pour myself a glass of whiskey... My work phone rang.

" Mr Clarke?"

" Ming?"

"You have a person on the phone for you."

"Send it through."

The line beeped then a deep voice with an accent spoke from the other side, "Joshua... How are you doing today?"

“Raz, what do you want?" I growled.

" Still don't like me... I see. Okay, I need drugs. A lot of them. "

" What do you mean a lot?... what is a lot? "

" I don't know, Ian... But a lot."

I snapped," Give me a number... I don't work with 'A Lot'."

" I guess... 46 kilos. No, make that... 83."

I sighed," Fine, shipment is coming next week. "

" Ohhw, that's not going to work for me. "

" Raz, what the fuck do you mean by that? "

" Bonnie or the drugs, Joshua? "

" Call me in three hours. "

He hung up and Christian came in.

" You look fired up..." he joked.

I got that glass of whiskey and gulped it all up in one go.

" Oh no... You are really angry. What's up? "

I sighed, "I need you to go to George and get 83 kilos worth of whites."

"Whoa... What are you going to do with those? And aren't you like... Supporting competition?"

"63546."I paused then scrunched my nose in frustration," You have three hours, Christian."

"I know the code to the safe... It's Raz, isn't it?"

"Go, Christian." I ordered.

The whole day had turned to shit just because of one call. I did the one thing that I was sure that i would eventually regret.

"Mr Clarke... You called for me..." Caroline came into my office but was surprised to not see anyone around and I locked the door behind her. She instantly turned around clearly startled and she let out a chuckle, "You scared me... What are you doing there?"

"Let's cut the crap. I know you want me..." i said as i took off my jacket and put it on one of the black leather sofas. "... Well, here I am." i wrapped my arm around her tiny waist and pulled her closer to my body and she gasped as a small smirk rushed up her thin lips in red.

She wrapped her arms around me as i pulled her skirt up to her waist and wrapped her legs around my waist... Luckily for me, she wasn't wearing any underwear . I didn't want to kiss her because I just felt like kisses were a way of showing affection more than sex... I was just a person that had sex just because I could and I wanted to most of the time. I placed her on my desk. She pulled me to her face with her lips scrambling on mine trying to find the right rhythm to do it but it was difficult because i didn't want to kiss her so, i started kissing on her neck. I quickly got hold of my belt and undid my pants.

After all that... Two days later , I was sitting in my home office regretting all the wrong life decisions i made throughout my lifetime and drank some whiskey to help keep my calm. Christian had already delivering the drugs and I thought about how i told Tony that Bonnie didn't deserve the life he was dragging her into. That was the most hypocritical thing I had ever said because I was in shady things ten times deeper than Tony... But I still wanted her with me.

"Ian!"

"Oh God, no..." I whispered to myself before turning in my chair to face the door.

"How I am sick of covering your tracks!"

I breathed deeply to keep myself calm, "Mira, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my messed up marriage with your ass! You fucked Caroline, didn't you?"

I finished off my drink and sighed, "I did."

"I thought we had a deal... A great one at that."

"I know, Mira..."

She cut me off, "No, you don't Ian . Caroline? Seriously? What happened to you being here for Bonnie,huh?"

"Mira..."

She held up her index finger to shut me up, "Ian, i get it you like women... But do me a favor and try keeping it together. If Bonnie is the love of your life then why aren't you screwing her?"

"Shut up, Mira." I warned lowly through gritted teeth slightly getting annoyed.

"No let me speak, Ian! Your sex life is annoying, Ian... Because you're reckless! I wouldn't even be surprised if you turned to Ming next because you can't handle Bonnie, can you?"

"Shut the hell up, Mira!" I finally snapped, jumping off my chair and threw the glass i had in my hand against the wall. "You talk to much... And yes, i can't handle Bonnie because i guess she's too good for me. I put her life in danger and now I feel bad, okay! I screwed Caroline because I was frustrated now please get off my case." I decided to leave and as i passed by her I stopped to look at her," And next time you feel the urge to talk trash about me... Keep Bonnie out of it." I slammed the door behind me and went to relax by the pool hoping Mira wouldn't come out for a night swim,otherwise I'd have to take the car and leave.

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