insecurities

A Moment

"Bonnie... " his voice sounded a lot deeper as he just looked at me with his hands running through his hair . He looked at me looking like he was puzzled up... a lot more than I was. He was a sweating mess with a bulge in his pants that I failed to ignore as I straightened my dress then it fell over my legs and covered my feet as well. He needed a release but I just couldn't.

I cut him off, "... Ian, we shouldn't have done that." i held my dress up so, I could walk properly without stepping on it. My heels crashing against the wooden floors causing an unpleasant sound as i walked out and shut the door behind me.

Christian still stood right where he was when I went in and he didn't even look at me, I guessed that he might've heard me screaming just a moment ago. I pulled out my phone from my clutch and mirrored my face on the blank screen. My lipstick was smudged all over my swollen lips and I just wiped it out because it was pretty bad then prayed Tony wouldn't notice the current state of my lips . The music was still booming on the other side and I went back to the party. I was relieved when I saw Mira and Tony still dancing. Maybe he hadn't even noticed that I'd left.

Me and Tony stayed there for two more hours. Ian never came back out to the party and when we left Mira was still trying to find him, i knew where he was but I couldn't just tell her because I'd have to explain how I knew that he was there ...I tried my best not to think about him because thinking about him gave me a tingling feeling that traveled straight to the bottom of my stomach.

"Babe, are you okay?" Tony asked as he turned over to look at me.

"Huh?"

He sat up and brushed my hair with his fingers gently. "You've been acting weird, are you okay?"

I nodded and gave him a smile. "Yeah... I'm fine."

"I said it's a good thing that Mira likes us so much... Might even score me a little soft spot on Mr Clarke... Don't you think?"

I nodded and smiled at him.

He pulled me in for a kiss and for some weird reason I quickly placed a kiss on his cheek then got up. "Want coffee? I want coffee."

He nodded, "Okay..." and I ran out of the bedroom. When I got to the kitchen I let out a heavy sigh as I leaned against the kitchen counter. I shut my eyes and thoughts of what happened about three hours ago flooded my mind. I could still feel him on me and that frustrated me. I made the coffee but most of the time I spent just staring at the living room wishing it would magically give an idea of how to stay resistant to the temptations Ian gave me.

After what seemed to be an eternity i returned to the bedroom with the coffee but Tony was already fast asleep so, i drank both of them myself. I woke up bright and early around about 4am and called Ian. I asked to meet with him outside the coffee shop two streets away. I threw on my cardigan over my huge sleeping shirt and some boots. Grabbed my car keys and sneaked out. I got to the coffee shop and Ian's car was already there. Was he even asleep?

I got inside his car... Warm and reeked of manly cologne. Ian's frame sat still on the other side of the seat as if he was trying to restrain himself from getting any closer... So was I. Christian was in the driver's seat...dead silent.

"Is everything okay?" Ian asked... I couldn't really see his facial expression because the streetlight was shining right above the side he sat on.

"No... I need you to stop coming by... "

"I thought you wanted me to come by more often?" he turned his body to face me.

I sighed, "Well... Not anymore."

"Why?"

"Ian, we need to stop acting like this ..." i reasoned.

"Bonnie ... "

I cut him off, "Ian, you're married and I'm dating someone. This needs to stop before anything worse happens."

"Like what? Sex?" he spat.

"Ian, you had your fingers up in me and both of our partners were just in the other room!"

"But you liked it didn't you?" he retorted calmly.

"And how did you like it when I left you craving for more of my body? I turn you on so bad ... I could see it in your eyes. You were in pain..." his tongue shot out of his mouth to lick his lips and sniffed. "You needed me to stay and relieve you." I pushed wanting him to finally lash out because of the tension that filled the car.

I stared at his tense figure that was silhouetted from where I sat. My breathing picked up as the tension grew with each second... Even the temperature of the car seemed to be rising. He shifted his body uncomfortably and sunk a bit lower on his seat, slightly spreading his legs further apart. Was I seriously turning him on by just shouting at him?

"Is sex with Mira not enough...?" Before I could even finish my sentence, he lunged towards me and grabbed the back of my neck then harshly pasted his lips on mine. Things quickly escalated and next thing I was under his shirtless frame , hearing the faint sound of the car door close and I guessed Christian had gotten out. I shifted against the cold leather seat as Ian pulled up my sleeping  shirt to my belly kissing my lips ever so hungrily and his fingers lazily ran over the thong I wore.

He gripped my thighs before his eyes met mine and before I could do anything... He pushed his body backwards and he  indulged in my taste. His tongue and thumb making me moan with every movement. After finally releasing, I heard him curse under his breath before he entered me. As much as I knew that what I did was wrong but I couldn't have chosen a better person to commit the sin with.

After all that we just sat there... All three of us, Christian came back as soon as we finished and it was as silent as ever. "Should I return the dress?" I asked finally breaking the deafening silence.

He shook his head 'no', "It's yours... And David too."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What?"

"You can go to him anytime you need anything else. I already paid for everything you're going to need from him."

David was a splendid designer and I appreciated what Ian did. I never really had a personal designer. "Thanks." i said but it sounded more like a whisper as I fiddled with my car key in my hand.

He remained silent for a while as he just stared ahead, "Bonnie,can I tell you something..."

"No, Ian... I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone... Bye, Ian." I quickly jumped out of the car and walked to my own that was parked behind Ian's. I watched as Christian drove off and I sighed. I wasn't even sure if I was going to regret doing that but it felt like the right thing to do at that time.

I drove back to my building in awe of what just happened and I took a quick shower . Tony was still fast asleep and I got back into bed slowly. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I closed my eyes waiting for my sleep to consume me but nothing happened... I was feeling a bit restless. My thoughts raced across my mind and Ian was the cause of it all.

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